Dyslexia Patient

my life is full of what ifs | i wanna see what's on the other side

[dyslexiapatient]

You

You.. So as you all know, I get disappointed and jealous of other people of how well they get treated by their loved ones, I always wish I could also experience things like that, since "you" is not a person who does lively things and most of the time "you" acts like an old person, but today I realized something, that even though "you" is not the person I've always dreamed of, even though "you" is not the typical type of person that you expect to do this and that for you, I must accept "you" for who he is, all because I did not love the feeling but I love "you" as a person, and I must accept the realities and gray moments as well as the happy moments.

[dyslexiapatient]

Time and Age: Are they really just numbers?? I can't just get them out of my head right now They're are as hard to decipher as a puzzle with an abstract image. Like (whhhaaat are they!?) I see that they're not an imaginary thing, THEY EXIST! and it drives me crazy!

So having been said that, is it more practical to do things at your own pace? Or are we just making an excuse to procrastinate life not realizing that life itself is short-lived? Is it just an excuse? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

[dyslexiapatient]

I give my smiles to everyone almost free, so I think it would not be so selfish if I put a little, maybe a little higher than expected, price on my tears.

[duckysplash]

Because….the unknown is scary AF

[dyslexiapatient]

I've been seeing this quote on twitter and now here in tumblr. Is this for me? Really?

[dyslexiapatient]

Timing and Fate: A Conspiracy!

There are so many things running inside my head about life and whatnots. I've been wasting my time overthinking things that need no much attention, like "hey! let it flow, just go with the raging water of the river and see where it might take you, but Oh! Be careful!" *sighs* I've always wanted time to go fast forward for there are some things I cannot understand at present, I wanna see and know the explanations behind. I am so excited to see what will happen next, not realizing that I'm here, in the present, not doings things that matter or will matter. I am in the future of that time when I was a naive high school girl who impatiently longs to be a grown-up.

I've always been a kdrama fan since college, and yes, up until now, I still find myself hooked by rom-coms and mature genres. Watching kdrama relieves me and gives me pleasure, so Go Back Couple is one those many which I recommend to watch because it does not show much of a typical love story but it showcases the real experience of love, so the viewers may not end up being a hopeless romantic after watching, it depics reality and #PossibleReality if we don't chase our dreams hard. More than that, this series will leave you important lessons that you can use everyday, like not taking things and people or anything for granted for you'll realize their worth when they're already out of reach (as what they always say), I also realized through this drama that everything happens for a reason, one must be done in order for something to happen. One must be sacrificed to gain something even better, and that we should always trust God's plan. He never uses anyone just for nothing but surely with a purpose and a reason.

So I think fate led me to watch this kdrama for it knows how uneasy I am nowadays, how worried I am, and how I forget to live and enjoy being young. The timing is perfect isn't it? I must say that I'm relieved now.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐-5 stars for Go Back Couple! 👏👏👏

[dyslexiapatient]

To our Youth!

To our young people out there! Here's for you.

I know that life is harsh and hard due to your studies or other concerns but if I am to give you a piece of advice, please please please do not be too excited to grow up and don't act as if you are already a grown up, of course this does not mean to be immature but I want you to enjoy your youth days, for it will be gone soon and I want you all to spend it as happy as we did. Adulting is really never easy, it will smash you left and right so might as well brace yourselves and enjoy the remaining days of being young. Stop thinking about existencial crisis, enjoy and focus on your studies, go on dates, hang out with friends, listen to those songs all day long, sleep all day, dance to that beat, play those games, be happy and spread happiness!

Teenage life is the perfect time to explore yourself! Have fun kid! You'll be joining the adult club (in which I am in) any time soon, I want you to bring some unforgettable memories.

[dyslexiapatient]

Cold vs Hot Water

A water dispenser has two different options when you want to get water from it, there is a cold and a hot one, a cold water can't be tolerable to some at times so they mix a portion of hot water to achieve a warm (lukewarm?) version. As I imagine the two kinds mixing together (hot and cold), I wonder who suffers the most, is it the cold water when mixed with hot? Or hot mixed with cold? But not necessarily suffer like the other is benefitted at the expense of other but who between the two is experiencing pain when mixed with the other? Like in people, two different cultures, upbringings, beliefs, and etc are joined together sugarcoated by the word "love" or "romantic relationship". Between the two, what culture will prevail? Or maybe who will adjust? Who will adapt? Who will stoop low or go high to match the other? These are some of the common dilemmas of the people who are in a romantic relationship. One is far different from the other, but it's as if fate is joking, for matching two different persons. What's amazing is when those two different persons click creating an ironically perfect match.

[dyslexiapatient]

I say the word "maybe" a lot! Because too much assumptions are playing inside my brain, they're in the waiting line of things to be answered by future events.

[dyslexiapatient]

I feel like I have an empty personality. Like, everyone else is liking something, but me? Me is..nothing. like ny existence is a big, fat, mighty question?? For example, I don't like pets and they don't like me back (lol) or I haven't had any skill or talent to be proud of (or maybe I am yet to discover that soonest) but the clock is ticking, and I want to spend this current life with full of adventures and meanings. Maybe I stay too safe or idk. Maybe I need some space but that space seems toooo far from reality, that "me space" is somewhat impractical to people like me. That rediscovering thyself is a big "not yet" until time is not enough to cater every questions I ask today.

Then who am I by the way?? When I have this time alone, I ask myself, who am I? What am I for? And the answers for those are yet to be discovered, maybe I'm just impatient.

[dyslexiapatient]

Because it was bound to happen.

[dyslexiapatient]

The next Person you meet in Heaven

Knowing the story Annie, the first question that came to my mind is that, why do we need to not know the answers? Because as a kid, Annie knew the world as cruel, for having an irresponsible Dad and that event at the Ruby Pier, etc (read the book, it's awesome). I think she could describe her life as unlucky or she might have compared jer life with other people, but after the whole story, it was like a rock waiting for someone or something to make it shine. All the truths which revealed Annie's truly, well-lived, and necessary life have been splashed to her like a water from a spray when she was in heaven.

Same is true to our real life, we might find (well, I think, others) our lives meaningless for we only see the mediocracy of it, but little did we know that our lives here on earth are weaved like a beautiful cloth that can potentially be turned into a wonderful dress or something. We may not realize that we are touching or changing other lives without notice.

So I still have no answer to my first question, but hoping that I could find the answers soon.

After reading the book, it made me curious on whom will I meet in heaven soon. 😂😂

[dyslexiapatient]

When we are out of that crazy maze and we figure out things one by one. I hope everthing's not yet too late.

[poemswords]

[dyslexiapatient]

careless, be beautiful!

[dyslexiapatient]

How many nights have been wasted for overthinkings and doubts? And how many more nights do I plan to waste? Maybe a hundred more, I am very much willing to waste such time, just to wait and to claim that I am patient with you. I'm just afraid if how long can I hold on to this anchor. I'm confused and anxious.

[dyslexiapatient]

Ahhh, we crave for things that we do not have or we think we do NOT have.

[dyslexiapatient]

This is the longest adjusting period I've had.

[dyslexiapatient]

One fine saturday in Masbate!

Looking back, my father used to treat us every weekend to the malls (or go around) and to fastfood chains. We used to go there and have a simple family bonding outside home. It's a quite different time now, I guess because my father is gone, but no worries for we can still bond together, but only through a quick visit at the cemetery and not in malls. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to have those moments with Papa, it will be in my memory and heart forever.

PS. Yes, it's Pinoy Big Jokes! My father used to read that book. I hope he's happy and I'm sure he is. (wherever he may be)

9/14/19