* HOLT / BROTHER

𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐝  𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞  𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐝  𝐭𝐡𝐞   ˢᵃᵐᵉ ʷᵃʸ   .

[e1dest-a]

# holtes : a selective and mutuals only portrayal of 𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙩 from interior night's 𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚞𝚜𝚔 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚜. mature / triggering related content will appear on this blog. studying themes of big brother responsibility, a lack of agency, false antagonists, and the aftermath of a mistake. 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐦 (    any pronouns ,     adult    )

links : CARRD. TIMELINE. NSFW. ANALYSIS.

[e1dest-a]

surprise surprise! i'm archiving! i do not know when i'll make my new blog public but i think this choice is for the best. this blog is cluttered and tbh moving forward i want to be more private. you can like this post if you're interested in still writing with me but these next few months are busy for everyone, so i'll be slow on the uptake. love y'all and have a good night!

[kingsmemes]

「   ASK MEME :   HOW’S MY PORTRAYAL?   」  * send anonymously or not. feedback is appreciated!

[e1dest-a]

ok ... so i lied. there are many layers to this, but these squares were as shallow as i could get! have fun go crazy & ship with me <3

[e1dest-a]

want to do the are you blank's type meme for tyler but his romantic life is kinda. well, for one it is non-existent, and for two the things he's drawn to are ... not very simple haha. like, people who crack jokes and are probably known as 'the funny guy' would be on a square, though it's less about tyler appreciating or laughing at the jokes ( in fact, he struggles to understand humor! ) but more so touching upon the fact he's drawn towards people who have this air of levity to them. something that tyler, who's so serious and intense and hardworking, can come to really need in day to day life. also experienced! his type is definitely someone who's experienced or can take initiative -- because while i think him being with someone who's just as clueless as him is cute and could be extremely fun, tyler is just not the pursuer type :/ sadly. if they're not experienced they must pursue him at least. otherwise they will be stuck in a situationship with tyler for the rest of eternity tbh. getting him to make moves is awkward and like pulling teeth </3 he is so difficult. there's more to this but i'm exhausted and it's six am, thus ill leave this as food for thought.

[notmorbid]

unpregnant.

dialogue prompts from unpregnant by jenni hendriks and ted caplan.

i said hello and you flipped me off.

you still know my voice?

am i dreaming? life cannot be this perfect.

hold on. i want to remember this moment forever.

can you stop being a bitch for one minute?

i'm not going to tase you.

come on, now. don't you want to share the moment?

can you not tell anyone? please?

whatever you're thinking right now, just stop.

are you sure you're gonna be okay?

what are your feelings on polyamory?

if i say it, it'll make it real.

maybe you're just tired of always being so perfect.

you are way too nice.

can't you sink to my level and engage in some schadenfreude?

you can be kind of intense.

i've never been to a place this nice.

isn't this place romantic?

you don't need an ivy league degree to be successful.

i know when we look back on this, we're going to laugh.

it's like i'm seeing you for the first time.

i'm doing a lot of crying in bathrooms lately.

you want me to be your escort?

everyone has different kinds of friends.

can we please be a little more subtle?

you say 'romeo', i say 'restraining order'.

nobody ever wanted me like that before, you know?

i'm sorry i lied to you about all of this.

come on. it was funny. we laughed.

maybe i just don't know what fun feels like.

sorry i couldn't be perfect for you anymore.

that's what they say about me? that's pretty badass.

that's enough. we listened to the whole album.

i have to keep up appearances.

don't you have any friends?

calling this place a town is pushing it.

guess we finally found the class you failed: common sense.

it's not safe to be walking along the side of the road.

i thought you were running away from something dangerous.

i tried to convince myself for years that it wasn't true, you know?

can anyone really be 'together' in this world? we all walk alone.

we've evolved past labeling ourselves.

i kind of love you right now. don't ruin it.

i meant what i said last night. all of it.

sorry. you're just going to have to look average.

i know how to get by without anyone's help.

no one expects you to remember everything.

i'm so tired of being a stupid, sad six-year-old.

you just need to remind me my dad is a dick. promise me.

go get 'em, tiger.

what's the matter with you? you look like a wounded moose.

remind me never to get on your bad side.

they are not my friends. they almost killed me.

i just wanted to let you know i'm okay.

you ever think about playing for my team?

you're the valedictorian and i bark at people.

hey, sunshine. i let you sleep for a bit.

i'm so wired, i think i can hear my arm hair growing.

i looked exactly the same, but i didn't recognize myself.

when you wake up, i'll be here.

[e1dest-a]

was combing through reddit to try and find the post i made a whole poll about and i cannot stop laughing at how much everyone on there hates tyler. it's beyond funny that dante ( y'know, the corrupt cop who actually had an obligation to protect the hostages & actively harmed them at every turn ) is hardly mentioned but TYLER?? he's scum of the earth. he is undeniably evil. his crime of having a mental breakdown during a stressful situation can never be forgiven.

[e1dest-a]

ship with me <33

[e1dest-a]

@mvnces asked ,

silas stealing one of tyler’s flannels as a comfort item and ends up growling when he tries to take it back.

rough fingertips ( that're crooked, patchwork of tiny scars scraped across leathery skin from labor ) hardly smooth across flannel fabric before it's ripped from him. blue eyes already trackin' fuzzy strands, all ropey-feelin', and noticing how many new ones have sprung out since the last time he's seen what shoulda been known as his. there's not much tyler wears ; dirty, old things which've faded from countless hand-scrubbed washes, colors muted and variation limited. ain't one for caring how he looks, mornings spent pawing at whatever he can reach and shrugging it on without a single thought. shirts and jeans, mostly. material dusty with the sweaty filth of construction work and weakened by holes, done by badly placed nails or snaggin' wood, or maybe cause of the steadily growin' muscle in his arms. cheap cotton and wool stretched to break, only kept because money was tight and newness never suited a ragtag family full of boys who stay under the sun all day. dust kicked up wherever they went, blown about and clinging on clothes since that's just arizona for you. all this means though is that there isn't anythin' special to things worn, not by tyler anyway. watches faded red get hoarded close and thinks on how he's got a gray one stuffed in ratty belongings somewhere. tighter and less baggy but matching the same. no harm done, nothing he'll really miss -- holts survive off of scraps, is what's been taught by snippy words and meaty hands, we don't want what we don't need. there's no comfort in any of it, doin' little for his heart which twists at the idea, although it holds true. and that honesty makes it easier to turn away from whatever confusing swell he feels in a cumbersome chest, silently shaking himself back into awareness.

what growls at him is familiar now, would hafta be, for tyler to reach his hands out so carelessly. might've not been what pa wanted in his family of hunters, though he was raised the same as the rest -- animals demand caution, slowness, and if they're born with rows of knives in their mouth then put 'em down. has handled rattlesnakes and coyotes, fingers readied and sure on guns whenever he's held them. in all those lessons his gaze had stayed firmly on the older man, watched how he worked, what he'd do, since most of what was said was twelve beers talkin' rather than any sorta father. learned extended limbs were practically asking for trouble and tyler isn't stupid, hasn't forgotten that. can't. throaty noises which swiftly promise unsaid warnings make stuff clear, another body for statin' facts ; predator. limbs lanky, almost impossibly long and crooked at odd angles. mouth that can mold seamlessly into a scrunched muzzle, snarling built across every feature, nailed into surfaces like an important detail. there's hair too … shaggy even though tyler struggles to tell if it's blond or white ; not bothered with askin' since it really don't matter, despite how often his mind wanders and lingers on which is right. finds that he's considering it again until he catches himself, head jerking away and resolutely ( shamelessly ) staring back on matters at hand. blames everything on barely sleepin', since it's not exactly a lie, and lets a weighted gaze narrow. the permanent furrow in his temple naturally creasing as he inspects.

“ gonna be big on you, ” drawls out, slow in a way that houses uncertainty. purposefully ignoring how skinny silas is when speakin'. why do ya want it? you cold? why ain't ya wearing it? bubble awkwardly on his tongue that holds still, already understanding it's better if he doesn't waste time with shit that won't get answered. “ i wore that a lot. ” tyler stumbles to finish, decidedly not payin' attention to how his cheeks warm over. it's a decent flannel, he tries reasoning, somethin' sturdy throughout the decade he's owned it. meant to offer that it'll do silas good, not like those words are needed, leaving him suddenly quiet.

[e1dest-a]

doing my daily check-ins for any whiff of adf anything on twitter and of course this is what i see LMAO

[e1dest-a]

ok fuck it, so there's this one very specific tyler post on the adf reddit i keep thinking about ( it is months old ) so! should i give my thoughts on it on here or leave it alone and do my plotting responsibilities ...

yes ( as in : would love to hear your thoughts )

yes ( as in : i support you )

no ( as in : i could care less )

no ( as in : girl respond to your old dms please )

secret option ( as in : don't press this is for me! )

Voting ended onSep 14, 2023

[e1dest-a]

rereading tylers carrd n stuff after seeing u on my dash n getting hit with the intrusive thought that him and michael ( @aftontxt ) who i've been thinking about lately would be 🤝🤝🤝 on so many things while simultaneously sorta being opposites and i think they both would kinda hate it BKHTYRBK

intrusive thoughts about muses are always welcomed here!! tbh from what i half-recall from fnaf's overly complicated lore, & from michael's character, i could definitely see it! though i'm sure there's more elaborate details in your portrayal that makes a stronger case, since we don't really get much of michael's emotional development and / or perspective on things in canon ... regardless! love bitches who are similar but always to the left despite that. love people who've been through twin experiences and yet those beginnings and ends are altered -- it's all very sexy to me <3

[e1dest-a]

diagnosed as god's prettiest princess if you even care

[e1dest-a]

gonna be getting my nephew's cat to take care of while they're at college AND i might be taking a road trip so activity will still be spotty until the foreseeable future! but dw i'm still here to ramble and talk feel free to hmu on discord ( detectivekink ) or elsewhere! always down to talk abt muses and interests and whatnot !!

[e1dest-a]

tyler may be my special little guy but vince is SO integral to adf and is literally the man of all time. if any of my mutuals ever watch/play adf you better love him btw.

[e1dest-a]

and where are my ships then?

[archived29642124]

"---And you stand over this? This is the truth?"

@e1dest💙 ‘ randomly generated one-liner starter from Sharon.

[e1dest-a]

life's never been kind, much less an equally measured race ; folks claim everybody's headin' the same way, that it ain't an uphill battle, yet their words drip liquid gold, of the privileged kind. necks decorated by diamonds instead of bruises or dirt. teeth sheet white and perfectly aligned, as if their bodies are carefully constructed instead of human. they make it known, noses raised high and snotty, that there's winners … and then there's losers. blunt, honest sentiments his ears have heard echoed : from pigs like romero to whatever knotted mess pa's molded into over time. and bein' born a holt? might as well dig your grave early. unlucky streak branded as if a birthmark, an ugly thing paraded ‘bout cause it's practically skin. ain't no hidin', no pretendin', since marks like that will always be there. purposeful wound that never closes, scarlet stark reminders of countless mistakes and graveyards. failures bone-deep because you're gonna lose more than just dignity, or pride, or respect -- winners take all, least anyone forgets. there's little tyler's ever won, scarce items lightening an aged toolbelt, but he's still in possession of somethin' precious. cradled close, cared for while it's steadily nurtured. too calloused hands strokin' nimble knuckles along each divot, every extended limb. he was born and bred in her image, guided by self-made nails, weaned on her cheap cigarette smoke. has grown into scarred tissue and muscle under sly eyes barely dolled up, though ma's beauty was mostly natural. effortless, in ways women are sick over. cascading fire that'll curl ( his looks similar, sorta, another small victory kept near ) ropes of ginger followin' humid winds. muffled smiles, no nonsense attitude, things taught if not burrowed ; pride swellin' tenfold when they're smeared in similar tones. couldn'ta been more alike if we tried, loops ‘round a weary head better than fake stories ever will. fact a'the matter is, nothing compares when held at ma's side. the only win the holts ever got, tyler's entire existence mapped out ahead of him.

goes without sayin', honestly, he's hardwired. for family, for tuggin' their survival from earthly roots so he can guarantee it. most of all ( what comes before everythin' ) the eldest watches out for her. ain't foul-mouthed or blood hungry as first resorts, instincts wrestled back into a skeleton build until prodded at ; until necessary. sometimes jagged maws and leather-thick hands are good tools to own rather than tender skin. things used efficiently when pa comes knockin', trudging around their feeble house like he even belongs here anymore. any glimpse of worn clothes or whiffs of beer that reek worms under tyler's skin easy. dismissive in how comfortable it sits there, thrummin' alongside boiling veins and tautly pulled skin, sense of belonging embedded deep as hard hit nails. all pa's ever done, all he seems to be good for, is makin' ma miserable. bared witness hundred times over, eyes narrowed as their spats delve into tired & true patterns that're sittin' cement heavy in empty stomachs. burdens paired and shaped in each of ‘em, angles slightly different though it don't change where the rot comes from. those idiot guns tended by large hands ( better than he cared for any of his young ) aimed sharpshooter steady at some poor matriarch's heart, bullets recklessly fired in ways which tear. takes it in stride she does, as all women tend to, even if it'll never make things right. remembers cold seizing exhausted lungs, throat constricting helplessly when seein' them together -- signs of trouble, knowin' he's gotta brace himself for impact, be responsible and prepared … doesn't recall clammy hands, palms marked in red halves, how the jut of his bottom lip woulda quivered at any glance landin' on pa's hands. shiny fear spread wetly in tremblin' eyes, while ma's remained barren no matter how steely they sparked. welts which'll linger lifelong on tyler's skin never once gracing her's. couldn'ta been any other way, is a thought held firmly. stable and without an ounce of regret. repetitive when he thinks it again, exactly word for word, now ; broken nose and matted knuckles stinging in rhythm.

torn work boots gently nudge open their moth-bitten screen door, hands occupied by recent additions joining everythin' else that's broken. red melts past skin like it's thin layered, smeared messily on his split upper lip ; stained into scruffy hairs lying there. damage is already done, no use whining ‘bout it. can only take comfort in how it's over. peace'll last a couple days at least, won't be prowling around their land wide eyed and nervous. countin' down the days pa might come back, sour mooded and angry, always fuckin' angry. why he still bothers ( why he'll leave, sometimes, even if the eldest's tryin' to pick himself up from the dirt ) tyler don't have the faintest idea. lets pudgy pride expand safely where no one can see and ignores how he's pretty sure one eye's swelling, since there's plenty of ice scattered in their freezer to fix that.

bleary, red rimmed blues skip past familiar scenes when he stomps the rest of the way inside ; lashes fanning over usually intent gaze, shadowin' what's seated firmly at their messy kitchen table. fingers outstretch blindly forward before meeting stainless steel, would recognize it by that alone ( one constant throughout his entire life has been this house ) , but feeling leftover water from someone's dishwashing steamrolls over any doubts. curls and fits digits 'round the bumpy edge as another hand blindly grabs at a creaky faucet, an ache stroking up his wrist when twisting it on. sees tinted water blurt out and instinctively blinks away any wetness nailed between swollen lids ; melds skin together into a cup to gather, feel coolness pool into crevices that do a fine job at takin' specks of blood for company down the drain. rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat -- don't scrub, it'll cause more damage on broken skin. is readying himself for a splash to the face when words break through somber air, hears a tone so strict and raspy and motherly that he stops anything else immediately. head jerking until a stubbled chin almost bumps against sturdy built shoulders, wisps of brown hair flailing with the hasty movement. visions blurs for split end seconds, then painstaking clarity blossoms in hotrod hair and creased lips … ma.

she doesn't have to ask, pointed jaw pinched shut as tyler answers an unspoken question. tries, and fails, to sound put together in that way she likes. mature, adult, unwavering same way good wood is. but what blunders out instead is, “ was pa again, causing trouble. i took care of it. ” there's still this thing unfurlin' within, nestled deep in iron ribs and prodded into bruised innings at the sight of her. pays no attention to how his shoulders rise upward, back rigid while he straightens out -- arms folded behind him cause sparin' her the gory details matters just as much as any other thing. head bows and lowers, eyes drilled in where her cheekbone frames sun favored skin ; not aware of where his rooted shame lies until lips purse and she presses, red nails dug into what bruises carpet his jaw, the bridge of his nose, his eyes. invisible stings flaring in her wake, bending scruffy features when the eldest winces. posture wringing back to somethin' small, battered lips crumpling alongside the shrink down. shouldn't take it personally is another saying lived by when you're born unlucky, one he's been taught and then teached ( feeble attempts, when it concerns their youngest, the charity case ) no matter how much it burned each time. vicious pulls at things most people're allowed … though not them. finds himself standin' there through that squeeze of an unused heart, however, breath lodged near a bobbin' throat so he won't let out some kinda noise. wheeze, shaky sigh, it's all bad. realizes too little too late he's just standing there gawking at her, wide eyed and -- sideways expression is promptly fixed, grasping at what's readily available to make a thing that'll stand sturdy. eyes slit like reopened wounds and he goes in headfirst, responsibility sand thin in laborer arms. “ he … ” tone chips, choppily cut cause he knows this dance. pa coulda came home with cargo pants tugged ‘round his ankles, speakin' another language, with liquid fire breath, and ma wouldn't bat a pretty eye. turn the other cheek type a' woman, those brick walls of hers cracked, if they were ever properly stacked starting off. virtue of a natural caretaker, ain't a flaw or fault, yet it nettles sometimes. means she'll defend him, level tyler with incredulous looks and flay apart what she sees as ‘childish behavior’. frustration knots tight in his chest at the thought ( not at her, just -- in general ) and honeyed sugar coatin' melts away.

this is the truth? “ course it is. ya know what he's like. always fuckin' things up. ” tyler pushes off the air dried steel of the sink, staunchly refusing to pay any mind to the dried blood now flaking off his face. makes his way towards her instead in slow steps, too tightly wound to take a seat. “ so i … i didn't give him a chance to. ” sounds reasonable, practical. words painted earnest as he looks towards her, fingers twitching all nervous even when he's above caring. if there's any pushback he'll endure, roll with the punches.