Guess who doesn't need another idea. Guess who had another idea...
It’s a little Holiday Bucktommy fake dating, meet the family, there was only one bed, angst into reconciliation. Post Nashville, kidnapping and addiction storyline. No Theo, but there's Tommy feels and Buck feels and...
I won't lie this idea is open to anyone who would like to adopt it... yarrr there be a long post ahead...
So my discord peeps and I were talking about Tommy's family the other day and it got me thinking about this lol (in the far far recesses of my brain)
So when Tommy’s was young, his mom mom got cancer. She fought it for years off an on and ended up dying from it the year before Tommy turned 17 and ran off to join the army. (Which you can do at 17 with parental consent).
Things were… not great in the Kinard Household during those years, Kinard sr was verbally abusive (sometimes phsycailly too) and a drunk to deal with the stress of his wife’s illness. Plus he someway or another finds out Tommy’s gay and gets all homophobic on his son? Maybe, added angst is great…
Tommy runs off and in the meanwhile Kinard Sr remarries a younger woman. But then, unbeknownst to Tommy, sobers up and actually becomes a semi-decent person. He has other kids and sends a picture one year on a xmas card to Tommy while he’s overseas and Tommy just… can. Not. Deal. With. That.
Fast forward a few years, The stepmom is begging to have Tommy down for the holidays, like aboslutely adamant. She wants her kids to meet their half brother, not just the phone calls she manages to convince Tommy to have with her and them, she wants Tommy to have a family. she doesn’t care if he’s gay or not, but getting Tommy to agree has been a struggle. (and he’s been saying no for years and years tyvm)
But something gives after the breakup, the step-mom begs and pleads and Tommy says yes. For some reason the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. Fuck it. He’s lonely. Even Kinard Sr is on the phone and he fucking has the gall to sound excited. And Tommy’s shook, thinks he’s the most shook he’s ever been in his life… right up until Step-mom, let’s call her Carol? Says: “And you can bring your new man with you, the other firefighter you mentioned last time! It will be so nice to finally meet him! Oh I can’t wait to tell the kids.”
Then carol hangs up.
And bam. It hits Tommy all over again that he’s no longer dating Evan. Cue sad sack… but how is Tommy going to do this. Does he need to call Carol up and tell her that he and Evan imploded?
In a fit of idiocy, Tommy tells his woes to Chimney. (Going back to the Kenny saying he and tommy are still in contact) And Chimney just says. “Invite Buck. Please.”
Chimney, being Chimney refuses to elaborate.
Tommy tries to find a way out of it, begging his captain who just laughs at him and tells him to call the crazy man of the 118.
Even Lucy is chomping at the bit.
Tommy makes the second mistake of calling Chimney back. Chimney just tells him the time and date at a local coffee shop and he’ll send Buck.
At the allotted time and date Tommy buys his own coffee and immediately spots Evan at a table.
He looks weirdly small. Big, muscular still in the way their job requires… but there’s something in the shift of his shoulders, in the hunch to his spine that just feels… sadder. More hurt.
Bobby, Tommy reminds himself as he draws near. Spots the second coffee Evan’s set halfway across the small coffee table and Tommy winces.
Winces again when Buck turns, immediately finding him in the crowd. Damn but he looks good, and Tommy’s stomach does the usual flip it does when ever he looks at him.
Buck looks sheepish as he pushes the coffee he got for Tommy away, cheeks red when Tommy just sits and pulls it back towards him.
They make idle chit chat for a while, it’s halting and awkward, but familiar.
Finally Tommy explains his pradicament. That he knows it’s a lot, and kind of weird to ask your ex to Christmas dinner with his awful father, and his new family. But Would Evan be interested in coming with him?
Bucks face lights up.
“I mean it wouldn’t be real,” Tommy shrugs, skin tight around his mouth. “but it would be a real help—“
Buck’s face shudders then. Something bone achingly, indiscribably sad in his eyes. But just as fast as it comes, it’s covered up under a mask Tommy’s never seen on Evan before. And it feels awful. Tommy feels like he just dropped 1500 feet out of the sky.
“Oh… like… fake dating?” Buck is suddenly sitting back in his chair, and Tommy didn’t realize how close they had leaned together.
Tommy feels like he’s just said the exactly wrong thing. Or Evan’s said the wrong thing.
They both have. And they’re back in the kitchen again.
Before the air can be cleared, Buck agrees to Christmas. “You broke the law for me twice Tommy, you saved my entire crew. Twice. Christmas is the very least I can do.”
So they go to Portland two weeks later. As fake boyfriends.
Maybe Tommy’s dad picks them up at the airport, Kinard Sr is a completely different person than the man Tommy knew. Smiles haltingly, awkwardly, like he doesn’t know how to greet his own son at the arrivals’ gate.
“You’ve grown.” Sr says.
“It’s been 23 years… I would hope so.” Tommy says in the bitchy way he has.
Buck snorts but tries to keep it quiet, fails, and draws Kinard Sr’s attention. He greets Buck far too loudly and far too friendly to be completely real. Shakes Buck’s hand and welcomes them to Portland in a way that screams he’s uncomfortable but trying not to show it.
The entire car ride is mostly silent.
It’s less awkward when they get to the house, Carol at least has some tact and is very friendly, and closer to Tommy’s age than his father’s. The kids are very excited to meet Tommy. (Let’s pretend they’re two young boys I dunno) and they provide a great distraction.
They’re staying with the family in the guest bedroom, and Tommy is like, ‘oh no we should have gotten a hotel.’
Buck agrees with a longing in his eyes Tommy can see. But they say nothing else.
They come back downstairs, and Sr has poured the nice whiskey for the four adults, but Buck just blushes and says he’s sober. Tries to apologize but Carol just waves him off and says Tommy didn’t mention that and pours him some of the sparkling apple juice they got for the kids for over the holidays or something fun.
Tommy feels very confused because when did that happen? And Sr is doing his very best impersonation of .__. face with how he’s holding back saying something. Tommy almost wants to dare him too.
Dinner is only not awkward because the boys are very excited and Buck is quite content to tell them wild stories about fire fighting and Tommy’s wild adventures.
Kinard Sr looks shocked and impressed when Buck tells them about the hurricane. Tommy has no idea what to do with that.
Carol just looks sea sick at the very idea.
When they go to bed that night Buck just grabs his pillow and spare blanket, throwing them both on the floor.
Tommy’s almost mad. Arms crossed defensively. “You don’t have to seclude yourself to the floor. We’re both adults… “ Evan winces, and Tommy tries to bite back his annoyance. He’s already stressed and they’ve got an entire week here. “I’ve already seen you naked.”
Evan winces instead of laughs, arms going tight around his torso and covering a random spot on his hip. “I.. uh… I kick a lot… in my sleep now. I don’t want to hurt you.”
‘too late for that.’ Tommy thinks. Then frowns. Sure Evan had been a mobile sleeper before, but it was usually in search of a heat source or something to cuddle. He’d never kicked before. “I can take a few jabs to the ankle. I’m not Diaz.”
He expected that to get a laugh.
But Buck just winces harder. Eyes falling to the floor. Then he’s sinking down and rearranging the blankets with shaking hands and—
Tommy has no idea whats happening. But he knows one thing, “Evan you’re not sleeping on the floor.”
Cue some back and forth and Tommy threatening to pick Buck up and put him to bed, in a tone low enough that no one can hear them through the walls mind you. Before Buck relents.
He keeps to his side of the bed, the furthest to the edge he can get without falling off.
Tommy’s not offended. He is. Falls asleep with a huff. But wakes with a sharp heel to his shin.
Finds Evan clearly having a nightmare, except he’s awake, crying and gasping in that way someone’s learned when they need to keep quiet so as to not wake someone else.
The way Tommy used to when he didn’t want to wake his dad.
Tommy slowly gets Buck calm, and Buck tries to go for the floor again, but Tommy, in a move he may hate himself for later—because he’s a glutton for punishment when that punishment is Evan Buckley—tugs Evan close and feels the way Buck’s breath almost shatters when he lays half on top of him like he used to. ‘The best weighted blanket’ Evan used to say.
This time Buck’s fingers claw into Tommy’s back, clutching desperately, until finally Evan’s breathes even out. Tommy lays awake and wonders What The Fuck.
They don’t talk about it the next morning, a mask Tommy’s never seen Buck wear is back in place, and they go down to breakfast together and pretend like they’re a couple. It’s so easy to fall back into it. The touches and kisses, eyes always meeting across the room and Christmas decorations.
Tommy keeps waiting for his dad to say something. Anything. But it’s like Tommy has no idea who this man is. He wears the same face as his father, but there’s no trace of the rye soaked bitter man who watched his wife and Tommy’s mother wither away in a sea of tumours and radiation and who took it out on his only son. Tommy has no idea what to do with the doting father who helps a son pour OJ into his cup. Has no idea what to do with the man who plays star dew valley with his other son.
The man who couldn’t be bothered to feed and care for Tommy is no where to be found. The one who signed his consent form to leave for the army is somehow the one who Tommy knows would never sign that same paper for either of the boys currently between them.
When it gets to be too much, Tommy goes and finds Buck, who’s helping Carol either in the kitchen or with decorations. Tommy can see the rough night on his features and says maybe they should go for a walk.
Despite the fact that there’s no one on the walk with them, they hold hands as it starts to snow.
That night, Evan just looks at the floor, and Tommy says nothing about the bruise on his shin as he holds up the edge of the blanket.
Buck climbs in, still in his hoodie, and Tommy frowns as he realizes it. He knows Evan runs cold but even he doesn’t normally sleep in a hoodie. “Sorry, you probably didn’t plan to have to share a bed with me. It’s not to late we can still get a hotel.”
Tommy just curls an arm around buck’s shoulders and tells him to be quiet. To his horror, Buck goes quiet and so still it’s unnerving. Buck doesn’t fill the silence and Tommy falls asleep before he figures out what to say.
The next day goes very similar, the snow has accumulated enough that it’s kind of pretty, maybe Carol drags them to a craft fair. It’s as awkward as Tommy thought it would be, but it’s also crowded, and Evan sticks to his side like glue. For a while, Tommy forgets that they’re pretending. He’s still waiting for his dad to say something, but Kinard Sr is playing suspiciously nice with everyone. He buys Evan a jar of honey that’s small enough to fit in their carry-on.
“Honey for his honey.” Carol teases gently, smile fond as she looks at Sr, and Tommy hs no idea how anyone can look at his father that way.
They get food at the fair then Tommy needs air so he build a scrawny snowman with the boys. They’re not bad kids. Just wildly different than Tommy himself. He’s almost jealous… well no almost. He is. But he doesn’t hold it against the kids.
Buck is outside with them, giving them pointers.
“Who made you the boss?” Tommy laughs, moving the scarf around the snowman’s neck as the boys fight to get the rocks to stay in as the buttons.
Buck laughs and it’s the most real sound Tommy’s heard him make. “Sorry I actually grew up where there’s snow you valley boy.”
“Are you two gonna get married?” One of the brothers interrupts.
“I’ve always wanted to be in a wedding.” The other one chimes in, sniffing with a runny nose.
Both Buck and Tommy stammer through a hasty excuse, before looking at each other as they go back inside. Buck wanted that, but he pushed for it too hard and lost Tommy altogether. Tommy thinks maybe that would have been in the cards for them if everything hadn’t of happened the way it did. Carol makes them snacks and suggest a movie so they all change into dry pyjama’s and Tommy has the wild experience of sitting on a couch, surrounded by actual Christmas decorations and an actual tree, with his father in one over sized lazyboy, and Carol in the other. Evan at his side, curled up into a ball next to him. And maybe Tommy only feels it because Evan is so close. But the boys come down in matching cowboy pyjamas and put on Toy Story 5, and crowd onto the couch with them, both clambering for Tommy and buck’s attention.
Except Tommy’s attention is mostly focuses on the way Buck’s fingers are suddenly digging bruises into his thigh. Tommy wants to ask whats wrong, but then the movies going and the kids are taking all of Tommy’s attention, and before he knows it, Evan is excusing himself, claiming a headache and saying he’s going to tuck in early tonight.
Carol goes and gets him some Advil and Tommy spends the rest of the movie with his eyes going towards the staircase. As soon as the credits roll, both the boys are asleep, and Carol and Sr wave Tommy off to go check on Evan. Tommy’s gone before they even finish talking.
He finds Evan curled up in the small space between the bed and the wall, face buried in his pillow, tear tracks on his cheeks… but asleep on the floor.
Tommy crouches down in front of him, watching him. He has half a mind to phone Chimney right the fuck then and ask what the fuck. He doesn’t, and later a part of him will definitely think he should have, but instead he just reaches out to rouse Buck who almost jumps right tup off the floor. “You okay?”
“F-fine.” Buck whispers, eyes darting around like he’s expecting to be attacked. It’s clearly such a lie.
“Do you need me to call Maddie or someone for you?”
Buck snorts inelegantly, fingers tight in the sheets as Tommy leads him to bed. “No. No… I… don’t do that.”
Tommy feels even more wrong footed, but as he cleans up and gets ready for bed, he still offers up his space to Evan. Evan who stares at him with blood shot eyes and something haunted in the lines on his face.
“Really?” Buck whispers, shuffling forwards gently. Stares up at Tommy like he’s worried he’s dreaming. Like he’s still asleep on the floor. “I- I came here to help you out for once… but, this is just you doing more for me. Again.”
Tommy just shakes his head. “This is the easiest thing in the world Evan.”
The next day is Christmas Eve and carol says she’s been asked to visit her mom for a few hours with the boys, so she goes with them, and they try to drag Tommy, but Carol, bless her, says that Tommy needs to stay here and be with Evan, Santa wouldn’t approve of Tommy leaving his boyfriend here all alone. The kids relent when Tommy promises to help them bake some cookies for Santa when they get back.
Buck stares at Tommy after they leave, “You learned how to bake?”
“No... but Howie gave me these amazing snickerdoodle I’ve been meaning to try and replicate.” Tommy says, catching the way Buck’s face does something funny then.
They hear a noise out in the garage, and Tommy knows the sound of someone working on an engine.
“You want to go talk to him?” Buck asks, one of Tommy’s hands in his, the other rubbing up and down Tommy’s back just like it used too. Tommy sinks into the touch and leads his cheek against Evan’s shoulder. Feels Evan press a kiss to the crown of his head. It’s dangerous. And maybe stupid. There’s no one around to see them. No one to pretend for. This is just for them.
“No.” Tommy says honestly. “This is just one fever dream after another. I don’t…. Don’t know what to do. About any of it.”
Tommy goes anyways, finds his dad in the nice two car garage attached to the side of the house. Half the garage is filled with stuff, boxes and storage of a life Tommy can’t touch. Can’t fathom. But in the other part… it’s just like beefing a teen again. His dad’s work bench looks the same, Tommy even recognizes some of the tools. But it’s the 1985 El Camino, fire engine red and rusted that his dad is hunched over that makes Tommy’s entire nervous system feel like it’s on fire.
“Thought you got rid of that when Mom died.” Tommy says apropos of nothing, and gets a bit of glee at watching Sr jump.
They have a heart to heart, Sr tries to apologize. Tommy’s not sure if he’s ready to accept that. Almost gets mad when Sr accepts that. “How come you didn’t try like this when I was a kid? How come you couldn’t be good when I needed you?”
Sr looks sad, like he’s accepted that Tommy may never forgive him. “It’s an excuse, but I was not in a good place then. Your mom was sick, I was working two jobs and we were drowning in medical debt… and then I started drinking. Drank the way my daddy used to when he beat my mom. But I couldn’t stop. And just like him, I took it out on my son. Took it out on the freak I thought they were just like he did. I took it all out on you… I never… signing those papers for you. I thought, ‘this is his best chance to get the hell away from me’” Sr shakes his head. “It wasn’t until Carol pulled my head out of my ass that I realized that signing those damn papers was the worst thing I ever did to you son.”
Tommy agrees, “Maybe,” he says instead. “But it gave me the sky. I learned how to fly there, and I can never regret that.”
Sr smiles, and it’s like that time Tommy saw a wedding picture of his parents, back before he was born. A real smile. “And that led you to your young man in there.”
Tommy can’t fight the blush that rises to his cheeks. Which… feels… oddly hilarious and kind of nice. He never thought he would have this kind of conversation with his dad. Never thought he was capable of this kind of change. Assumed Sr would hate that his son was still gay even after all these years.
“I’m trying to be better.” Sr says. “I don’t get it. I mean, but… Carol says I don’t have to. Get it. There’s a lot I don’t understand… Viv used to say that’s because my world was so small, Carol says the same thing too…but I’m trying to broaden my horizons. For the boys. And for you. I know I can never go back and fix the monster I was to you… but maybe, for Viv, for your mom… maybe even for us. We could have something where I’m something even close to the father you deserved.”
They start working on the car with the kind of laser focus of two men caught in their feelings and no idea what to do with them.
Tommy so distracted that he doesn’t hear Carol and the boys get home, just goes to wash up in the kitchen while Sr washes up upstairs, and over hears Buck and Carol talking.
Carol is offering him some Non-A wine or cider, and Buck says she adapted to that really fast. She just says that she has some friends that don’t drink and they recommended these things. Sr is a drink on special occasions only now, and even then it’s only one or two glasses.
Buck explains that he was in a car accident several months ago, and then got hooked on pain killers afterwards.
Tommy’s jaw almost hits the floor. But then he realizes. Evan’s saying that in the way that leaves out something big. He really should have fucking called Howie. He never should have called him.
Carol makes a sad sound, “You’re worried you’ll relapse?” Buck nods. “And Tommy’s helping you with this?”
Tommy would, Tommy thinks… If Tommy knew anything fucking about it. He cringes at the third person, but then feels an ember of hurt glow inside of him. Evan never said anything.
Why would he though, his brain supplies. This isn’t real. He’s only here to make it up to you. He’s here because he owes you. Not cause he wants to be.
“Tommy always helps me with everything.” Evan laughs helplessly. “Just being around him… I sleep better, I feel like I can breathe… even if he doesn’t know it…”
“Why wouldn’t he know it?”
Tommy’s curse is drowned out by the way Buck drops the metal bowl he had been measuring dry ingredients into.
Buck sputters but Carol just laughs, “It’s okay Evan. You don’t need to panic. Tommy forgot he mentioned to me that you guys ended but… he was very easily swayed into bringing you… and I’ll be honest son, the pining that has been happening in this house since you two arrived is putting all my boughs and tree to shame okay.”
"It's.. not, like that. Tommy doesn't." Buck's voice trails off.
"You think Tommy doesn't have feelings for you?"
Tommy can see Evan's shoulders shrugs and hunch in on himself. "I… he shouldn't… I said,awful things to him," he mumbles so low Tommy can't hear him but he doesn't need too. he can hear Evans' words from the kitchen as plain as day.
"Okay…wow. Ouch" Carol huffs. "I think I need actual wine, do you mind?" Buck laughs and says no. Tommy hears a cork open. "Did you ever tell Tommy that you didn't mean what you said?"
"N-No… shortly after that… I uh, lost my captain. At a scene. And um, i wasn't okay, for a long while. I'm, I'm still not. But I had always chased, in all my relationships, always ran after people who didn't want me. It was just before Tommy that I really tried to stop doing that… I though ti was doing okay with it, but I just liked him so much. I saw a future with him and I wanted it to start as soon as it could. But I pushed too much. I always do. I only thought about myself, didn't consider Tommy or anyone else. Just demanded too much and then he left, and he was right to do it. Tommy totally didn't deserve that. The stuff i've said or ,or done. He's… He's so amazing, and strong and he just gives and gives and gives, to everyone that looks like they might need help." Buck's voice cracks and there's the sound of one of the kitchen chairs creaking. "I took advantage of that, time and time again. I never reached out like Chim did. i went to his hearing and didn't tell anyone because i couldn't stand the thought of my team giving me the same looks they do whenever i mention him."
He mentioned me? Tommy;s eyes go wide in shock. Then, Looks?
"I… I always cared too much about what people thought of me. But not in the way Tommy did. And maybe I don't learn, just like Bobby said Because when there was a chance we could try again I—I went and opened my big fat mouth and shoved my whole foot inside and…oh, um… sorry you probably don't want to hear this."
"Have you ever told anyone this? Tommy for instance?" Carol asks.
But Buck shakes his head. "No…"
"Any particular reason why?"
"um, it's a lot."
"you told me." Carol laughs gently.
"I didn't mean to!" Buck groans.
"it's okay, i've been told i have one of those faces that make people want to spill their deepest darkest secrets to me."
Tommy backs up and goes to wash his hands upstairs. His dad asks him if he's okay.
Tommy has no sweet fucking clue. The boys get a kick out of the swear words lol. Sr steps forward and Tommy's brain absolutely shorts the fuck out when his dad pulls him in for a hug. The boys join in.
He spends a few minutes staring at himself in front of the bathroom mirror wondering if he stepped into the Twilight Zone. Or Maybe It's a Wonderful Life.
He's not sure, not sure he wants to know either. He cleans up and he and Sr and the boys go downstairs to make cookies with Buck. Tommy tries his damndest to be cool and suave and not just immediately make the boys go to bed so he can hoard Evan and all those confessions to himself.
The boys eventually get shooed to bed by their parents, and they go chatting and unable to wait for Santa, in a way that Tommy knows means they'll be awake for at least another hour. Sr and Carol watch them go and then end up shooing Buck and Tommy away too as they go out to the garage to get the presents.
Buck is about to head upstairs to bed, but Tommy takes his hand and asks him to come sit outside with him.
Cue some cute, winter night cuddling under blankets with the snow falling.
They talk, Tommy asks about the sober thing, and the MVA. Buck admits to the kidnapping that spurred the addiction more than the actual pain. He takes Tommy's hand and slips it up under the hem of his shirt to the spot where Tommy's seen him put his hand over a few times.
Tommy can feel the raised edges of a burn mark.
"Taser. I have them… kind of all over. Most are smaller, but this one burned some cloth into my skin."
Tommy holds Evan's hip and uses it to drag him closer into a hug. Evan explains everything after losing Bobby, feeling like he's lost his team, the 118… that after losing Tommy it was more than he could stomach and he didn't have any proof that he was needed.
Buck tells him how when Tommy reached out, he thought this was his chance. To fix things, to explain and make it up to Tommy. He winces. "Then you said none of it would be real." he laughs hallow. "And it kind of felt like I watched you leave all over again. But then, I told myself. I could do this for you. Keep your family off your back or whatever. I could finally be whatever you needed for once. That it didn't matter what I wanted. It was always going to be too much for you. I was always going to be too much-"
Tommy cuts him off with a kiss.
Cue dramatic love confession just as it starts to snow again.
They're cuddling in bed later, it's after midnight and they can hear Sr and Carol in the living room, the low thrum of some old Christmas carol playing on a speaker. Tommy got to eat the Santa cookies that Buck made. Buck ate the carrot the boys left out for the reindeer and signed the note.
Outside the snow starts to fall and Buck and Tommy are curled up under the blankets, half asleep.
"Hey, I never got you a fake boyfriend Christmas gift." Buck pouts eyes already falling shut.
"Yes you did." Tommy laughs, right on his heels, holding Evan close. "It's a future with you, and that's all I ever wanted."
Turns out Christmas is also Carol's birthday, so once the presents are opened, Buck makes her a birthday cake and they eat that instead of any actual Christmas fare.
The boys are ecstatic and even Sr eats two slices and Buck now knows where Tommy's sweet tooth came from.
Tommy finally calls Chimney who is trying to corral two very excited children of his own and just tells him, "Thanks."
tags for some moots... sorry about this: @emakataken @fuselsstuff @letsdosciencetoit @chimneyschewinggum @chemistry66 @capitalnineteen @firehose118 @beanarie @corporatebanana @leashybebes @fenrirscarsback @ambernotember @queerasbuck @bluroux @bidisasterevankinard @nine-one-wanton @queenandthree
I am begging you and your fellow MN voters to vote in the August 11th Minnesota primary election so we can have Peggy Flanagan as a senator instead of Angie Craig who voted to empower and support the federal agencies that have invaded and occupied our state and continue to harm our communities.
Please please please show up for Peggy so we don’t get stuck with ICE and AIPAC Angie.
buck and tommy genuinely ruined other ships for me. like I don't care if there's something better I simply don't think I'll feel what I feel for them again (or in a long time)
the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this
The Crush Before the Fall - What if Buck's travels happened in a different order? What if California had happened before Peru and both were before Montana?
And what if Tommy was discharged from the army and ended up in Montana, too? And he was a horse girl?
No Archive Warnings Apply, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Tommy Kinard, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Buck earns his nickname early, Tommy is a horse girl, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting
Fic summaries in quotation marks are the author’s own!
Unfinished fics are marked as ‘In Progress’, and any important notes are in parentheses after the summary!
💦porn with a side of feelings🥵
Have I Had Enough Now? by @queermccoy
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 2,442
After the breakup, Buck sends Tommy a video
They Wish They Could Fuck Like Us by kitthekazoo/ @sneakybiskit
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 14,589
"When Buck comes into contact with the deadly strain of aphrodisia, he should quarantine and let the poison take him. Instead, he goes to Tommy's house, despite their breakup, wanting to see the man he loves one last time. Instead, Tommy has a solution. They fuck about it."
Adore Me, Hold Me, and Explore Me, Mark Your Territory by @wikiangela
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 4,143
"Buck sees Tommy's picture in the firefighter calendar and it really gets him hot and bothered - and a little possessive."
Can You Take Me To the Finish Line? by @harmless-variety-of-garden-snake
Multi Chapter, Rated: E, Words: 11,983
"The boys go to a hockey game, tease each other, and Buck dresses on theme."
Something Sweet and Something Messy by @gaytommykinard
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 10,366
"Tommy's roommate asks him for a big favour — to film something with him for his OnlyFans page, because there's a pandemic going on and they're in lockdown and the two of them are bubbling together and Evan doesn't want to risk filming with any of his usual partners and he really needs to post something new and make some money so he can pay the rent.
Times are tough, and it's a very strange favour to ask of your roommate. The strangest thing about all this is that Tommy is actually considering it."
Edge of Desire by seisirasei/ @siratonin
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 9,397
"After a reckless rescue leaves Buck hanging between life and death, Tommy is watching from a distance, torn between anger, fear, and the ache of lingering love."
Although You'll Leave Before the Sunrise by Natteravn/ @tyskerunge
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 9,450
If Buck had known that the last time he and Tommy had sex would be the last, he would’ve figured out a way to tattoo every single moment and sensation on his body so he’d never forget what it felt like. Spontaneous, belated break-up sex grants him that chance, and he’s determined to make the most of it.
It Could End So Sweetly by @harmless-variety-of-garden-snake
Multi Chapter, Rated: E, Words: 20,965
"Tommy meets a bunker bunny in a bar - or does he?"
Blue Skies Ahead by Infinity456/ @foxtrot91
Multi Chapter, Rated: E, Words: 19,236
"Tommy, who is still in the closet, occasionally volunteers at a heat clinic to help omegas through their heat."
What I Covet, I Keep by somnum 365/ @firehose118
One Shot, Rated: E, Words: 9,157
"Eddie is back for the weekend and Tommy stakes a claim."
Buck/Tommy and 20 (exhausted parents kiss) for the kiss prompt, please?
(I went with pet parents because it pleased me) ✨ Kiss prompts ✨
“I’m sorry,” Buck apologized again as they trooped into the house, more early morning than night now.
“Th—” Tommy yawned, interrupting himself. “There’s nothing to apologize for, Evan.”
“We’ve been out all night, all because I got worried,” Buck groused.
Tommy undid Winston’s leash, letting him run for his water bowl. “A bunch of socks were missing, we couldn’t find them, and Winston’s fine.”
“Yeah, the emergency vet only cost us hundreds of dollars.”
“Worth it for the peace of mind,” Tommy said. Winston’s slurps filled the room as Tommy pulled Buck close, wrapping his arms around him. “And we found out that other girl walks dogs and she’s nearby in case we ever need someone.”
“I should have taken him myself and let you sleep,” Buck said. “We didn’t both need to be up all night.”
“I will always stay up with you,” Tommy said, squeezing him. “He’s our dog.”
“You’re perfect, you know that?” Buck said, moving just far enough so he could look at Tommy’s face.
Tommy smiled and rubbed a thumb across Buck’s birthmark. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”
The two of them changed, managing to brush their teeth before they fell into bed, Buck wiggling closer until Tommy wrapped his arms around him again.
“Love you,” Buck said, kissing him with minty fresh breath. “Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”
Wahoo yes have early days bucktommy! ✨ Kiss prompts ✨
“Hi,” Buck said, equal parts nervous and excited. He’d met Tommy at the restaurant since he had to come straight from the firehouse, and he’d worried on the drive over about being late because he’d spent too much time fiddling with his hair because Tommy had off-handedly mentioned how nice it looked curly.
“Hi,” Tommy replied, eyes crinkling as he smiled at Buck, either not noticing or not caring that Buck had almost been late.
It was their first dinner date since the disastrous first date, and Buck was suddenly unsure what to do with himself. What had he done last time? Or on literally any other date he’d been on?
He took Tommy’s hand, running his thumb across the back of it. Tommy smiled again, and Buck found himself drawn forward towards him like they were magnets, pressing a soft kiss to Tommy’s lips, far more appropriate for a public space than the hospital kiss that they’d shared.
“Hi,” Buck said shyly, as Tommy’s free hand came up to brush up against his cheek.
Buck has dabbled in sex work his whole life. He's a fast learner and has an unquenchable desire to please. He's done pretty much everything, outside of recording himself. All those PSAs from when he was a kid really stuck, so he's paranoid about his digital foot print.
Most of the time, it was a result of desperation, so he's happy not having to do it anymore, when he joins the LAFD.
After the truck bombing, he starts thinking about it again. He blames it on the boredom, but the thought won't leave him alone. He never got around to doing dom work. It's something he really wanted to try out, but right as he was seriously considering it, he got his shield, and the job with the LAFD finally felt secure enough that he stopped looking elsewhere.
His leg is fucked, but he doesn't think of it as a hindrance. It's a challenge. He's been chomping at the bit for a challenge he actually has a chance at overcoming.
A couple of the message boards he used to advertise on are still in service. He brushes up on the terminology and lists an ad. Worst case scenario, no one responds. He doesn't mention his leg.
He gets a couple of messages, but what they want isn't something he can do. The things they allude to wanting requires a level of mobility Buck doesn't currently have. He politely declines and says it's not possible.
It's only after talking to a couple of people, that he thinks about the logistics. He can't really go anywhere. A hotel would be safer, but that's a lot of hassle and a lot of money, if he gets stood up. After a few more people reach out, he removes the listing, and tries to accept that now isn't the right time. Maybe he can do what normal people do and find a girlfriend down the line, who will let him.
The listing has been down for a while, when he gets a message. The person contacting him must have saved his information. They go back and forth for a bit. It's a man, which isn't that unusual, Buck didn't specify, but it would be new for him. He's never had sex with a man, which is what he's asking for. He worked for a sex line, back in the day, where he got a lot of men. He's done some hand and mouth stuff, too, when he really needed money, but it's usually been a means to an end. This would be different.
It's an intriguing offer. The guy is clearly in the market for a normal sex worker, but Buck can see the logic in how he ended up contacting Buck. The guy hasn't had sex with a man before and he wants detailed instructions.
Before he says yes, Buck mentions having had surgery, so his mobility is limited. The guy says it's not a problem. Buck is already fifty steps ahead, when he says yes.
He tells himself the safety aspect is fine. It's not worse than a dating app. And he'll only do it once.
Buck spends a couple of days planning. He writes out a couple of different scripts, so he has something to lean on. He'll need help to get around, but if he plays it right, it could be hot. In Buck's head, it's very hot, but he can always play it off as strictly practical, if the guy isn't into it.
On the day of the appointment, Buck makes a call to Maddie and explains he's inviting a date over. Maddie is least likely to ask questions, and most likely to understand the safety concerns. Maddie asks him to say less, but she'll check in later.
He sets the scene as well as he can, and takes a seat at the dining table. His crutches are within reach, the door is unlocked, so he doesn't have to get up, and his phone is in his pocket.
Buck tries to manage his excitement a bit, but once the guy enters, all of that goes out the window. The guy closes the door behind him and leans against it, looking scared out of his mind.
”Hi.”
”Hi,” Buck smiles. He uses his good leg to push a chair out from the table. He can tell the guy's knees are about to buckle, which only makes him smile more.
The guy drops into the chair. His upper lip glistens with sweat.
”Nervous?”
”Uh-huh,” he nods.
”I'm Evan.”
”Tommy.”
”Hi, Tommy.” He watches Tommy glance behind him, at the crutches, then take in the sight of Buck's body. He seems interested, more than nervous. His interest in men is occupational, but Tommy is a very attractive man. ”Still wanna do this?”
Tommy clears his throat. ”Yes.”
”Good.” Tommy eyes turn sharp. ”Take off your shoes. Put them somewhere out of the way.”
Tommy looks around and finds the shoe rack. He bends down and tugs his laces free. Boots in hand, he gets up from the chair and puts them on the floor infront of the rack. He comes back and sits down.
”Good,” Buck says again, just too see Tommy's reaction. It's subtle. A twitch in the shoulders. ”You want to get straight to it, or do you want to talk first?”
He watches Tommy's throat bob. ”No talking.”
Buck chuckles. He grabs the chair he's sitting on, raises his bad leg, and scooches the chair further away from the table. Tommy's hands are in the air immediately, hovering. It's an interesting reflex, but Buck doesn't ask. Maybe he has an elderly family member he's close with.
”On the floor.”
Tommy blinks. It takes a second, then the meaning sinks in and he's slipping off his own chair, eyes not leaving Buck's face. Buck pats his thigh. Tommy is beginning to flush. He licks his lips and shuffles forward on his knees, until he can put his chin on Buck's knee. His eyes look beautiful and attentive in the moodlighting Buck had managed to create.
Buck gently strokes Tommy's hair back from his forehead. Tommy's eyes pinch closed. There's emotion in the tension in his brows. Based on the messages they've been exchanging, he expects some amount of fear or apprehension, but so far so good.
”I won't be asking,” Buck says, ”but that doesn't mean you can't say no.”
Tommy looks up at him, but doesn't speak. Buck curls his fingers in the hair on the back of Tommy's neck, and pulls him forward. It's gentle enough that Tommy can stop it easily, but he doesn't. He lets Buck pull his face into his crotch. Buck would've liked to dress nice for the occasion, but his leg is still stiff. He's wearing his nicest sweatpants. He feels Tommy exhale heavily through the fabric.
”Good?”
Tommy nods. Buck pets his hair for a moment.
”I want us to be on the same page, so I will ask some clarifying questions.” Another nod. ”You want to have sex with me.” Nod. ”Penetrative sex.” Nod. ”You want to be on the receiving end of the penetration.” Nod.
Buck smiles at his lap. It's sweet, even though it probably feels like hell for Tommy. ”Did you clean yourself before you got here?” He gets another nod. ”Did you prepare yourself?” That gets a careful shake of the head. ”Do you want to do it by yourself, or do you want to do it with me?”
He's clearly unhappy about having to use words, but Tommy lifts his head just enough to speak, ”I want you to tell me how.”
”Tell you or do it for you?”
Tommy meets his eyes. ”If you can, I'd like you to do it for me.”
Buck brushes over Tommy's cheek with his thumb. ”We'll see how I feel when we get there.” Tommy nods again. ”My bed is upstairs.”
Tommy pulls his head away from Buck's hand, to look around. He clearly hadn't seen anything on his way in.
”I also have a couch, but I prefer the bed.” He knows Tommy won't say what he prefers, but he presents the option anyway. ”I can do it myself, but I'd like you to help me up the stairs. Can you do that?”
Tommy is on his feet, hands open and offered, before the question is out of his mouth. ”What do you need?”
Buck smiles. His bad leg can support his weight decently well these days, but it's uncomfortable. His physical therapist says it's a mental thing; that he doesn't trust that the leg can support him. In any case, Buck lets Tommy pull him up from the chair, and raises his arm. Tommy knows what he's doing. He's solidly in Buck's armpit, holding on to Buck's hand, his other arm wrapped around Buck's waist. Slowly, they walk to the stairs. Unnecessarily slow, but it feels more secure that way. Tommy watches closely, as Buck holds onto the handrail. Together, they ascend the stairs and Buck is carefully lowered onto his bed.
Flatteringly, Tommy is still hard after all that.
”Take off your clothes.”
It takes a moment for Tommy to react. He looks around the space, and spots a place to put his clothes. He's efficient about it. He turns his back, but Buck figures it's about doing the task, not about purposely hiding his body.
”Do you want to take mine off, too?”
”Yes.”
Buck's autonomy is hard won and he's more than able, but the way Tommy handles him feels good. There's a reverence to it. Fleetingly, Buck thinks he wouldn't mind being worshipped for a little bit.
Tommy takes off his clothes, and helps him lie down. All his supplies are within easy reach, so when they're both naked, Buck urges him onto the bed. He puts his hands on his stomach, indicating the spot, ”I want you to straddle me.”
Tommy looks at himself, then Buck. ”You sure?”
”I can take you.”
Tommy's flush spreads down his chest, as he mounts Buck's torso. He's heavy, but nothing Buck can't handle.
Buck grabs a condom and hands it over. ”Put this on. I'm not cleaning up after you.”
Tommy makes a shaky little sound. He fumbles the condom a couple of times. First it falls from his fingers, then the wrapper won't tear, but he gets there. After the condom is on, he gives himself a tight squeeze at the base.
”Have you touched yourself before?” Tommy nods. Buck grabs the lube, then Tommy's hand. He squirts lube onto Tommy's fingers and holds onto his hand for a moment. ”Go slow. We've got time.”
Tommy nods again. When Buck releases his hand, Tommy reaches behind himself. Buck watches his face closely. His face doesn't say much, but he's sufficiently distracted. Buck is in the tail end of his meds. They don't always kill his sex drive, but he's slower than he used to be. Having Tommy on his stomach shields his dick from prying eyes, and makes Tommy's body more accessible to his hands.
Tommy's dick bobs between them and Tommy holds on to every word, so Buck is feeling pretty confident. He strokes Tommy's thighs, as lightly as he can. It earns him another shaky sound, as Tommy's thighs close around Buck's ribs.
”Getting somewhere?”
Tommy's arm stops flexing. He breathes for a second, before resting his hand on his thigh. Three of his fingers are glistening.
”Great job,” it lands a little more first responder, than dom, but it still makes Tommy shiver. ”My turn.” Buck grabs the lube and reaches behind Tommy's back. He shifts forward a little, making Buck's reach around less strenuous. He circles Tommy's hole, checking the tension, but he feels remarkably relaxed. Two fingers go inside easy.
”Alright, big guy – ” Tommy makes a sound and clenches up. Buck holds still and eyes him a little. He says it again, ”Alright, big guy, you wanna come before or after?” Tommy clenches again.
Tommy tries to breathe, but his whole body shakes on the exhale. ”I'm not sure I can choose.”
”Fair enough,” Buck says. He pushes the full length of his fingers inside, to see what happens. Tommy's knees dig into the sides of his ribs, and he stops breathing. He's more gentle as he pulls out.
With Tommy's eyes closed, Buck reaches for his own dick, checking the firmness. He's not all the way there, but he's close. It's good enough for now. He touches Tommy's thighs again, trying to get him present.
”Still up for it?”
Tommy nods. ”Please.”
Buck wipes his hand on his stomach, and grabs a condom and the lube. ”You get to do this part.”
Tommy blinks at the items. ”What?”
”Why would I do it myself when you're here?” He pushes them into Tommy's hands.
Tommy drops the lube. He would've dropped the condom, too, if the wrapper didn't stick to his sweaty chest. He climbs (falls) off Buck's chest and just stares at his dick for a bit. ”Can I touch?”
”Go for it.”
Tommy reaches out and curls his fingers around Buck's dick. Buck puts his hands behind his head and tries to not to say anything stupid. Tommy's hand feels good. As uncertain as he looks, his touch isn't. It's tight and warm. Tommy strokes him for a moment, just watching his own hand touch Buck. It's flattering.
Buck wonders what brought him here. Wonders why Tommy would rather pay for something like this, instead of going out and meeting someone. He's a handsome guy. Very polite. By all accounts he seems normal. Maybe a bit shy.
”Ready?”
Tommy huffs a little laugh. ”No.” He grabs the condom anyway. He knows what he's doing, but he's very particular about putting it on, as if putting a condom on someone for the first time is something worth remembering.
He does the same thing with the lube, then asks about Buck's leg.
”As long as you don't reach behind you and try to brace on my knees, you're fine.”
Tommy is careful when he swings his leg over Buck's lap. He keeps an eye on his own foot, careful to keep it away from Buck's leg. He hovers there for a second, above Buck. When nothing happens, Buck takes over.
”Put your hands here,” he pulls Tommy's hands to his own chest, wanting to feel the weight of him. Tommy leans forward, fingers spreading for better purchase. ”Sit, I've got it.”
Tommy looks at him warily, but lowers his body slowly. Buck uses both hands to find his target, without too much fumbling. He watched Tommy's face, as he sinks into his body.
Tommy is the one in control. Buck is lying flat on his back, he has very little leverage. Tommy turns his face into his own shoulder, hiding his expression, as he moves his hips back. When he's confident he won't slip back out, Buck moves his hands to Tommy's hips and waits it out.
Tommy's breathing changes. It comes a little faster, a little wetter. He moves one hand to his lower abdomen. He won't be able to feel anything, but Buck gets the sentiment. Sort of.
Tommy shifts a little and starts moving. It's a grinding motion, slowly back and forth. At first, he's barely moving at all, but he builds up to longer strokes, face still turned away.
Buck doesn't know what to do with it. They don't know each other, so he doesn't know what Tommy needs. He keeps his hands where they are, so Tommy can feel he's there. Most of Tommy's weight is balanced on one hand. As Tommy picks up the pace, Buck grunts a little. It makes Tommy look at him.
His eyes go round and he quickly plants a hand on the bed, on either side of Buck's shoulders. It brings their faces closer together. Neither one of them brought up kissing, at any point. Buck didn't think it would be relevant, but he wishes one of them did. He wants to kiss Tommy.
”How's it feel?”
”Good,” Tommy huffs a smile. ”Really good.” He moves a little faster for emphasis.
Maybe the pain meds are a good thing. Or maybe it's the lack of attraction to men. Whatever it is, it's keeping Buck's attention away from his dick, and on Tommy's face. It's a good face. Expressive, when he allows it to be.
Tommy rides him until he can't anymore. He keeps stopping, clenching, then going for a moment, then stopping and clenching again.
”You can come, if you want.”
Tommy scoffs. Shivers. Scoffs again. ”Then it's over.”
”That's how sex works.”
Tommy glares at him for half a second, before he trembles again. He hasn't touched his dick once.
Buck belatedly remembers he's supposed to be in charge. He grabs Tommy by the face and tells him to come. Tommy makes a wounded sound and somehow manages to keep eye contact, while he comes.
Buck is suddenly very aware of his own dick, and comes just moments later.
They blink at each other in surprise. Tommy smiles and Buck laughs. There's a pack of wet wipes somewhere, but Buck doesn't reach for it. Tommy carefully dismounts and lies down.
”Pretty good for a first time, right?” Buck asks, amused by the double entendre.
”If I could leave a review, you'd get a great one.”
”Aww,” he nudges Tommy in the side. ”Thank you, I appreciate that. Did we tick all the boxes, or do we need to meet again?”
Tommy looks at him for a beat. ”I can think of a few things.”
so for a few weeks now I've been working on a second part to this farmer's market thing where they actually talk things out. as soon as things slow down at work I'll be able to finish this!! (I say as if it hasn't been wild for four months now)
They sit like that for a long time, just holding each other, breathing each other in. Tommy smells the same as he always did: clean soap, sweat, and something warm that pulls at the back of Buck’s palate. He can only imagine what he smells like right now; salt and sand and toddler. Still, safe in Tommy’s arms after far, far too long, it takes him a few minutes to care.
“Sorry,” he says, unburying his face and looking down at Tommy. “I probably stink. We spent all day at the beach, and then I fell asleep instead of showering.”
“You’ve smelled better,” Tommy deadpans. He smiles that beautiful, crinkly smile when Buck laughs. “It’s okay. I’ve smelled worse. You’re nothing compared to a structure fire.”
“Oh no, if you’re even thinking about that…”
Tommy shakes his head. He tightens his hold on Buck’s body. “You’re not that bad. But it’s getting late. Do you want to shower?”
Buck does, but he doesn’t want to waste any time he has with Tommy, either. He doesn’t want to get out of his lap.
Tommy must see the hesitation in his eyes. He continues, “I’m not going anywhere. And I’m guessing if you haven’t showered, you also haven’t eaten dinner.”
“I had a few dino nuggets and carrots that Theo didn’t want,” Buck argues.
“That’s not dinner.” Tommy levels him with a look that leaves no room for argument. It sends a bolt of heat through Buck’s body. “Do you have anything I can heat up for you? Anything in the freezer?”
Buck shakes his head. Gone are the days when his fridge was full of neat pre-portioned containers filled with healthy food that he’d made on a day off. “I’ve, uh, I’ve sort of been slacking on the meal prep lately.”
“That’s understandable.” Tommy’s hands run up and down Buck’s thighs. His fingers get caught on the edge of Buck’s swim trunks. It’s soothing and exhilarating at the same time. “How about sandwich stuff?”
“PB&J, maybe.”
“Classic. How about you go shower and I’ll make you the best PB&J you’ve ever had?”
Buck smiles. “You don’t even know where anything is in this kitchen.”
Tommy raises an eyebrow. “It’s not my first time in a kitchen. I’m sure I can figure it out. I’ve been told I’m very perceptive.”
no pressure tagging @rcmclachlan @peppermintquartz @chimneyschewinggum @corporatebanana @a-mel0n @harmless-variety-of-garden-snake and anyone else who wants to share something!
do you guys remember when buck had a boyfriend who would go to his sister's wedding after one terrible date, who would take care of him when he was injured, who would dress up with him to throw a two-man funeral for a hundred year old cowboy. because i do
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