✽ . ˚ &. 「 MARK CONSUELOS. FIFTY-THREE. CISMALE. HE/HIM. 」 EMILIO BARTOLOME occupies LEVEL TEN: #1000. you’ll know THE VIRGO is home if you hear big poppa by NOTORIOUS B.I.G blasting through their speakers. the CEO has been living in wisteria for FIFTEEN YEARS. since then they’ve built a reputation for being convincing and cunning , typical for THE TALISMAN .
full name. emilio christopher bartolome
age. fifty-three
birthday. august 29th , 1968
height. 6′0″
sexuality. heterosexual
temperament. phlegmatic
prized possession(s). hispanic community leader award
languages. english / spanish
1st generation college and the oldest of eight children .
went to business school on a scholarship — was determined to make it out of east LA if it was the last thing he were to do
USC alum — often goes back to do speeches , rallies , etc .
thought about going into politics but realized the importance of the dollar - the political influence you could still have .
believes its all about who you know not what you know which is how he ended up in the same room as elon musk ( listen .... lISTEN LEMME DO DIS )
with elon’s brains and emilio’s business saviness , the two of them started paypal in 1998 — eventually selling the platform in 2002 for a whopping 2.1 billion dollars to eBay
he and elon coo but they not .... emilio thinks that man is WEIRD DAWG but appreciates their business relationship
uhhhhh he’s currently the CEO of CBRE - a well know, well respected commercial real estate company
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh probably why he got his spot at wisteria so easily
has some kids in their 20s - been married , been divorced
❛❛ unfortunate. ❜❜ he responded, even if bruce doesn’t seem to be disappointed by the weather. he requested the receptionist to send back his carry-on. he’d deal with the flight cancellation when it inevitably reached him. bruce watched emilio’s wallet swing from side to side. he shook his head, ❛❛ there’s no need emilio. i’m the one offering. ❜❜
“ alright , i won’t argue with an offer then . i’ll get you back next time . “ he slipped the wallet right back into the pocket of his slacks before heading towards the indoor café . “ where were you headed anyway ?? seems as though you aren’t ... too in a rush to get where you need to go . “
rising from her yoga pose , shantipriya kept her glance on her reflection in the mirror. she prepared for her next pose and nodded to signal that she was listening to her neighbors rant. ❛❛ it works fine for me. maybe they put it out of order when they see you. ❜❜ she teased. ❛❛ are you a stingy tipper ? it could be karma , kevin. ❜❜
he lifted his hands with a tsk of his lips , placing them on his hips as a quiet chuckle fell from his lips . yeaaaah she was possibly right — he’s been especially on to it ever since it started happening . and it’s only been him ... huh ... “ stingy tip — “ he scoffed - stopping in the middle of his sentence , turning his head to look over his shoulder then the other . “ i tip twenty percent or more everytime . i’m tellin’ you , someone’s got it out for me . even the sword in the stone at disneyland doesn’t lift for me . i took my kids there once and EMBARRASSED myself . “
stevie stared at him for a few seconds from her almost-folded-in-half-backwards position - at least, that’s what her sister called it. “dude. ‘we pay how much to live here’, and you can’t afford your own peloton in your place?” she asked, getting herself out of her position by slowly hand standing and then back flipping to stand up. “it takes time to get things repaired. fix it yourself - or find something else to do, there’s a million things you can do in here. or you know… buy a real bike and ride around the neighborhood. so many solutions.”
“ you’re comin’ at me with a lot of unnecessary attitude . if things take time , then it would have been fixed the whole five months ago when i asked about it . but it’s not JUST the peloton . it’s the sauna as well . and this has nothing to do with just me . or even just you . there are other people in this building who expect a certain ... “ his hand moved in a rhythmic circle as he thought of his next words . “ standard of living . let’s put it that way . yes , i can get my own peloton and have it in my living room all while killing the feng sui of my space . “ he realized after his rant how first world his problems sound . holding up his hands , he scoffed a laugh . “ the point in — sometimes it’s not about affording . why buy one when there’s one right here ?? “ he gestured to the empty bike , pursing his lips out with a shrug . “ plus i would get a bike , but i prefer the peloton because it has less impact on my knee . “
“uh,” mouth dramatically parts as she places a delicately feigned hand over her chest. “no need to make a sweet-n-low scene, emilio, gosh…” she spots some wandering passerby’s through the window and suddenly nudges her nose further near his own drink. “unless you’re doing this on purpose… what is it? is tmz around here somewhere? hold on…” after another gulp, she places her coffee on the counter to use both of her hands to fluff up her hair and pull the shades from atop her head over her eyes, turning back to him with puckered lips. “okay, let’s go. im ready for my tabloid debut…” one hand grabs her drink while the other winds through the air, giving semblance to a makeshift headline: “mysterious woman spotted with the incomparable business innovator emilio bartolome. boom!”
he was about to open his mouth to say something as she turned around to gussy up her appearance . emilio held up a finger , awkwardly reaching to scratch the back of his neck before she finally turned back around to face him . “ bea , there’s no tabloid debut to have . they ignore the ones like me — besides , i’m not even an actual celebrity i just HAPPEN to have a wikipedia page but that doesn’t mean anything . “ he waved his hand , taking a sip of his coffee as he let a small laugh escape his lips . a character she was , part of the reason she caught his attention all those months ago . “ well okay scratch that , they don’t ignore me but my pictures aren’t worth that damn much . you’re more likely to see me in forbes , not on some trashy tabloid site . “
it was sort of a routine at this point ever since he moved into wisteria : get up , get a work - out or two in , bother bea , answer a couple of emails and then head to the office . but there was a wrench thrown into his ritual ... the worst of the worst . the fuckin’ sauna is still out of order . STILL . with an audible smack of his lips , emilio tossed his towel over his shoulder ; a tsk following . “ soooo we pay how much to live here ?? the sauna and the peloton is still fucked up ?? ... i don’t wanna be THAT GUY but i think i gotta go complain and be THAT GUY . what do they call those male karens ... is it kevin ... ?? “
the rain wouldn’t quit. it’s heavy. and each drop sounded like coins falling from the sky. bruce waited in the lobby with a carry-on placed neatly by his feet. he scrolled through his phone anticipating a phone call to inform him his flight had been canceled. even so there’s a smidge of hope. ❛❛ think it’ll let up anytime soon ? ❜❜ bruce slipped his phone into his pocket. ❛❛ i’m going to grab some coffee at the grind time if you’d like to join me. ❜❜
you know that tony , toni , toné song ?? it never rains in southern california ... now why did they tell a whole lie like that ?? emilio had just made his way down to the lobby - greeting one of the receptionists with a side-fist bump on the way towards bruce . checking his own phone , his driver had informed him of the miserable amount of traffic on the way to wisteria ; a thirty to forty minute delay . grimacing for a split second , the male lifted his hands . “ i don’t know , rainin’ like cats and dogs out there . from what i see on the weather app , it’ll be goin’ for the next hour or so . “ pursing his lips at the offer , emilio nods in agreement , reaching to his back pocket and waving his wallet about . “ last i checked , i owe you this round . “
beatriz leaves the discarded drink atop the counter, still standing there as if it isn’t hers as the barista circles back to make another drink. the moment someone approaches to submit their order, she doesn’t waste a beat offering it to them. “care for a hot caramel macchiato? they made it wrong the first time, i wanted mine iced.” seconds following, her correct drink is given to her. she takes quick swig and whelms a satisfying hum that gives testimony to how that delicious extra caramel drizzle took it to the next level. “mmhmm, that’s what i’m talkin’ about.”
he just stares at her . dead-pan . dumb-founded , bewildered that she would even OFFER such a sugary , carb-filled beverage . at this hour ?? and damn ... all that caramel ?? for what ?? oh yeah , he wanted that . but emilio would stick with his black coffee with oat milk and splenda for now . “ bea . why do you do that ?? you always do that when you know my blood sugar’s been at an all-time high . and sugar - free caramel taste like ... burnt sweet-n-low . i can’t do it . “
