Dogs and Other Things

My name's Emma. Tumblr makes me feel old.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ecarnage]

Just wait til you hear about roundabouts

[whitepeopletwitter]

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Honestly bizarre that tomatoes get all the flack for “not being a vegetable” because they're technically a fruit when:

A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.

B) The fucking mushrooms are standing there at the back of the crowd in this witch trial, trying to look inconspicuous because they somehow got into the vegetable club with no fucking controversy despite the fact that they're not even plants.

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

what's in your pocket? there's definitely rocks in mine

[brucebocchi]

[thedunwichwhorer]

Go a little fart

[gizmoera-deactivated20240601]

be ded

Go a little fart

Dig a little dee

Reach a little

Catch the Cat

and pass it on

[moved--306389]

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

[postoctobrist]

Do you ever think about how pornography, like science fiction, reflects modern day economic anxieties? Asking bc I just saw one where in order to stay in an Airbnb she had to wear a chastity belt and she didn’t even leave a bad review after

these days the pizza guy is too busy working for three different apps to even fuck you

[darthbob88]

One of my favorite pornos (for nonsexual reasons) was this one about 4 women working as interns under one dude. They all know that only one intern is getting a full-time job, so they all decide to suck it out of the manager's dick, which devolves to an orgy. At the end after they wipe the cum off, the girls argue about who's getting the job, when the manager says "Girls, girls! You were all great, but the company's shutting down and we'll all be laid off at the end of the week."

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever heard maybe I should try watching porn

[nohohankerotomania-deactivated2]

Not to be a prude this is just so bleak. something about everything said here is so bleak like talking about porn so casually like its the sunday comics

[geniusoflove]

sorry mother superior should we be making jokes about the next church bazaar

[tbposting]

collapsing onto my fainting couch, scandalized and overcome with the vapors that someone discussed media with visible ankles

[clowngames]

talking about media that reflects the public consciousness' anxiety about an increased job instability and economic desolation and the bleak part is that the conversation involves a penis

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Bro why did you censor the snake's cloaca on the snake anatomy post??? It's a snake?

I didn't censor anything, what -

oh. Oh, no. That's meant to be a line to show where the tail begins. Oh no, now I look like some weird prude.

Yeah, that's meant to help people grasp the anatomy and visualize how small the tail is in relation to the torso. Not meant to be some kind of weird snake privacy screen

[mastermatoyas]

We CANNOT have snudity (snake nudity) on this webbed site

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

Gotta respect their snivacy (snake privacy)

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ecarnage]

I now choose to believe that mermaids are like some whiptail lizard species and are all female.

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

All Creatures Are Beautiful

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

FREE HER

[sarahseeandersen]

[demilypyro]

Humans didn't make the big ben. Do you really think those dumbass Britains could make a clock that big? Those big gears are way too heavy, how'd they get those up there. No way. It was the beasts

[pretendusername-deactivated2021]

Happy plagueiversary

[quantumshade]

[blodeuweddschild]

I have a simultaneously amazing and appalling memory which means that I’ll remember that months ago you quickly mentioned you collect bookmarks once and then you never brought it up again so for your birthday I’ll buy you a mermaid related bookmark because you brought up you like mermaids once but you won’t end up getting it on your birthday because I forgot when it is

[odin-n-out]

[sirfrogsworth]

This is Nicole. She is an amazing Canadian wood-splitting machine.

I have a huge pet peeve about people swinging axes and sledgehammers without using the kinetic chain. You have to use your entire body to get real power in your swing. And in so many movies you see actors just trying to chop things with only their arms. But Nicole has perfect form. And cute pajamas.

I'm not sure if she is technically a lumberjill. I think she just refers to herself as a wood splitter. Either way, she is badass.

[thefrogman]

I am astonished to see that people are enjoying this post for other reasons than perfect axe-swinging form using the kinetic chain.

Ya'll thristy as heck.

[ecarnage]

Welp

[sirfrogsworth]

Don't threaten us with a good time.