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What if

It’s been what? 2 years.

2 years passed and I experienced every high and low a man can experience. Winning and Losing. Doing good then screwing up. Being on top to the bottom. Being alone to being loved.

Well, I don’t know though. I go to extremes, from extremely happy to extremely depressed (not literally depressed, metaphorically, I guess. You get it. I hope). Extremes, I say extremes. Sometimes, you just have “those” times and the present can literally characterise what “those” times mean.

Yes, I am happy but I’m sad and I am not happy about it.

What if I took an opportunity too soon? It’s not my time, it will never be and never will. You give everything for nothing. You give and receive only an ounce of what you’ve died out of excruciating pain for. I learned. I gave. Never received. Come to think of it; I received something I didn’t need, but why now?

What if I’m not worth “it”? Am i just a just? I will never compare to a person full of and I will never be a person full of. Not now. I guess. I can never fly. I can never stand up. I can never fill baskets with fruit. I can never be a guard. Because I am just a just. A plain old just. A nobody. A single dot in an infinite ellipsibus. I’m just a your just. And I don’t know why I feel like it when you treat me like I’m not one. I’m unsure. I don’t know. Because that’s how I feel. Just a just.

What if you told me a lie? You are made for greater things. It boosted my ego. Well you didn’t tell, you made me feel like it. I felt so powerful. But. But it’s not about the power. The fuel is almost empty and I don’t know where to find a station. It’s a long shot to even wish for it to find me rather than me striving to find one.

What if every step kills? Every single action can kill. Every mistake costs a life. Everything I do costs a life or even worse: can cost feelings. I’ll never put my foot forward because I’m afraid too. It’s too hypocritical but that’s how I go. Living in masks. Living in tents. Living in shelter.

What if you understood? Understood every step and every letter. I am trying to pilot a flight that’s going nowhere so why bother. I know it’s going nowhere so why care. I pretend. You never believed. I tried. You never gave in. We’re both wrong. We never cracked.

What if I was right that I was never right.

What if I just disappeared.

Vanished into thin air.

Never came back.

bye

#2:28am

meanwhilekeepyoursmile

the-absolute-best-posts

This is a great blog to follow, seriously

Randomness at its finest

No metaphor can ever explain what I feel. Nothing can ever read through my eyes. They don't see right through me but they see a facade. A facade, of which I wear everyday.

Nothing, no one can ever explain how he/she loves the person. Nothing can measure the amount of love that is poured into a relationship. But what if you haven't felt any of the liquid inside you heart; then it must have been a rough ride for you, cowboy. Indeed, a rough ride.

Do you know that melancholic feeling that you don't want to talk to anybody, you just want to be with yourself. In a deep confinement with myself. But sometimes, you want to be with someone you care about so much that it hurts. To be with someone that laughs at your jokes, someone that you can turn to, someone you would want to be with forever.

Let's face it, nothing lasts forever. It may just be a metaphor of being with the person until the end of time. But there is nothing infinite, there will come a time that we will all rot in our coffins, a time where some people might remember us and some people won't.

But I do tell you, tell her/him! Tell them that you love him/her, tell them that they mean something special to you, you have something that can last *forever* until the end of time. Nothing can ever stand before you too, because you two possesses the power that cannot be broken by anybody, the power which give you the strength to be on your feet everyday, you are loved you are loving.

Someday, you will thank the person that told you to tell that certain someone.

Let us twist the realm of possibilities, what if you don't tell him/her. Please do permit me to lead you to a place where you would never want to be. This is the place for waiting. Everyday you just stand there, looking at her beauty, looking at her sweet beautiful smile, looking at her dazzling eyes, not doing a thing about it. You sit in front of a computer staring into her eyes, hoping that someday "you two" will happen. Better move on quick, there are more plenty of you's out there, seize the day. Don't let anyone take you away from her. Don't.

If "you two" may happen then fine, if not: Oh well, just laugh at your foolishness, my friend! There will come a time that you will come across your naive past self, and you will just take a minute to laugh at that creature who was dumb enough to love a girl, that is stupid enough to let him go. But do still remember that you were loving what you were doing at that time.

dadhumordotnet

catoverlord-deactivated20130312

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catoverlord:

I am the surprise inside

Follow this blog, you’ll love it on your dashboard!

homofauxbic

“if false, please correct and rewrite the statement”

As life goes on we also go cause the going is a goer.

Its been freakin' too long since I blogged. Oh well, too much has changed I tell you. I'm college na, and I know that I kinda adjusted na but iba pa rin yung High School.

This first semester was full of twists and turns, it was one of a freaking roller coaster ride, my mom died, I cried, some lied, and I'm tired (Lol, I tried my best to make it more rhyming). Anyway, yes I've been quite busy, at first I missed the busy-ness that high school has given me, but never thought that I'll still be like that in college. I expected that I will just be crazy nerd, but it turns out I became normal again, but I am still weird because the characteristic cannot be taken away from me no matter what you fucking do.

All through out the week, I was literally studying my ass off. Knowing that I have one failed subject last midterms, I FUCKING GAVE MY BEST! Help me! OM! "Computer na nga lang ibabagsak pa" fucking fuckery righttt! UGHH! But I'm still proud because kakarelease lang ng grades for FILI AND PUTANGINA PASADO AKO. So party party! But you know I kinda think that my dreams on being a dean's lister is slowly fading out, I don't know why, but I'm starting to think that I'm not DL Material, loljk, deep inside syempre oo. Hahahaha

I'm missing high school a lot, all those random moments with Nicole and Bea. Directing and making freaking projects, all those things, yes I know it was hard but I miss it all!

But yeah, I miss my mom. I still remember that day. It was like a mini heart attack came to me when I saw her there, yes I know it's creepy forgive me. I miss me and mom going everywhere just to go eat and shop. Browsing every sales catalog, ebay-ing, and all our bonding moments when we're just talking in bed. Nothing can ever compare to the feeling when I'm with mom. I can say that I was ready but do you know the feeling that I was still expecting her to be with me all through out knowing that me and dad are not good together, leaving me with him will be a mess. But it turns out, now that Mom's gone. Me and dad had been quite good.

Ok. Bye

#personal #echofficial #bye #hopia