"So...last night was very unexpected and extremely horrible. I cried a lot out of frustration, feeling overwhelmed, and just feeling alone...which is, honestly, nothing new to me...however, last night also forced me to think a lot and be real with myself. (I tend to go into illusions and deep seeded hopes a lot in life) And this is dealing with a few things that I experienced last night...not just one But, I have dealt with the same kind of issues, all of my life, due to my kindness, unwillingness to feel like a burden to others, and because of how I am always putting other peoples comfort and feelings above my own. I have always done this and, most of the time, things have always turned out bad for me because of it. I do realize that it has a lot to do with the people I tend to choose to be this way with...and their inability to be appreciative and kind in return. Because, people...unconsciously, most of the time...tend to take advantage and end up pushing my own needs, wants, and opinions to the side. They become selfish. I'm never actually a priority. And, it hurts...it hurts a lot. But, the sacrificial servitude that I tend to have towards them...especially, with those who I hold dear to my heart...ends up always becoming a hindrance to my life. But, in all reality, it is who I am at my core...and I can't, and I refuse to, get rid of that part of me. I must, instead, learn balance and moderation. And I must begin to be way more selective in who I allow inside my circle and who I show my gratitude, kindness, and love to. I need to stop allowing people and situations to twist who I truly am as a person. I need to stand up for myself, my needs, and even my morals and integrity more. I need to get rid of all the toxic people and things in my life. I need to get real with myself. And, yes, I took a few steps in that direction, dealing with one situation, last night...and I am proud of myself for it. But, now, I need to step up to the plate, despite my fears, and take a swing. I need to push myself even further." -Noble Queen- #mentalhealth #ptsd #strength #love #hope #thoughts #silentwarrior #happiness #happy #change #smile #positive #vibes #anxiety #choices