Show & Tell
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occasionally subtle
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Cosimo Galluzzi
Stranger Things
cherry valley forever
if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
titsay
ojovivo
$LAYYYTER
Today's Document
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
sheepfilms
Product Placement
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todays bird
we're not kids anymore.
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@effervescent-emmett
bella swan circa 2006
This is genuinely how i see everyone who is still obsessed with Twilight in 2026 (me included)
it would've been 100% funnier if Edward's approach to getting Bella to appreciate her humanity was less begging her to not be a vampire and more....forcing himself to hang out with her human friends so she has a normal teenage experience lmao
could you imagine Edward Cullen at like...a high school football game?
getting dragged to an amusement park on senior ditch day
at some party and he has to pretend to be drunk to fit in with all the others
Mike, Eric, Tyler and Ben all start insisting on calling him Eddie
he goes on shopping trips with the girls because he's the only one with a running car that also has trunk space for their bags
he starts using his mind reading powers for The Gossip(tm) and Jessica is absolutely obsessed...finally someone with decent intell
God at some party everyone's lowkey high and they start playing truth or dare and Edward's using his powers to choose the least embarrassing option but Bella catches on and Edward Trusts Her so she picks him and he's expecting something tame like...truth what's your favorite color, dare kiss me or something lol but Bella looks him in the eyes and with no mercy dares him to strip tease while rapping an Eminem song. Mike films it. Edward didn't talk to her at all the next day lmao
they all go see a horror movie together and to Bella's absolute delight 1) it turns out to be a vampire movie and 2) Edward falls for every single jump scare
The Guys(tm) invite Edward to some weird bro bonding sleep over and Edward's expecting to be bored out of his mind without Bella but 3 redbulls, 2 video games and one ouija board session later they're all crying about their deepest fears to each other. Edward's telling them he's scared that if Bella marries him it will doom her eternal soul to hell but he can't live without her and they're like 'Eddie dude that's so specific calm down' 'have you considered therapy man??' 'bro you guys are 17'
Edward and Bella get roped into helping out with the senior prank and it goes t e r r i b l y. First time in half a century one of the Cullens have gotten suspended from school lmao
he sneaks Angela's little brothers candy every time they hang out at her house
Jessica begs him to tell her what Rosalie's skincare routine is but the vampire's don't even really have to shower they can just wipe stuff off and be good to go and he knows Nothing about skincare so he panics and tells her something absolutely batshit that nearly ruins her skin and Bella and Esme make him treat Jess to a spa day as an apology and Rose searches up everything on human skincare and buys some stuff for her
GOD can you imagine how helpful it would of been during eclipse to have completely non-objective friends chime in on the love triangle bullshit...Edward can vent about it without mentioning the vampire's and werewolves and they can tell him he's being dumb because she's clearly head over heels for him and is just friends with Jake
He's like 'but what if she stops loving me,,,' and they're like 'dude she's literally wedding planning with your sister and mom right now please shut the fuck up'
one day they plan a beach trip to somewhere other than La Push and it's cloudy enough that Edward should be fine if he keeps a shirt on and from then on the group has a mission: See Edward Shirtless. they go to LENGTHS. switching into his gym class. spilling things on him. begging Bella to take pictures for them. Good Christian Edward(tm) is scandalized but Bella thinks it's hilarious and keeps telling them he had crazy tattoos
Edward trying to fake pop culture knowledge to fit in but it's not working so he actually has to start paying attention to shit from the current decade and now he won't stop ranting to Bella about Harry Potter and he's very invested in Britney Spears' mental health
Edward trying to decode text talk and everyone makes fun of him bc he texts like a grandpa
Edward after one joint is on a full rant about how America should have handled the Spanish Influenza- like he has a detailed list of complaints and ideas- and everyone is like 'Bella I know he's rich but he's such a nerd Are You Sure you love him' skdjjdmd
anyway. let the old man act like a teenager for once. as a treat.
there there girl. now take a sip of the diet coke. there you go. easy now
Twilight AU where Edward is the one with bad control
Edward has always hated what he’s become. He hates that he needs to kill to survive. He hates that he wants human blood so desperately. He hates that he’s a parasite.
No matter how much he hates what he is he still can’t control himself. Too often his body reacts to what it craves before his mind can even process that he doesn’t want to kill. He doesn’t want to hurt people.
Even though he was the first that Carlisle changed, even though he’s been around and a vegetarian longer than Esme and Rosalie and Emmett, he still slips the most.
Maybe he hadn’t slipped that long before they moved to Forks. The Family waited just long enough for his eyes to return to gold before sending him back to school. Edward was the first child and the golden child so of course he could handle being around so many people, right?
Carlisle and Esme are always in denial. They love Edward too much not to trust that next time will be different.
When Bella arrives Edward almost slips again. He blood smells sweeter than most and Edward can still remember how his last victim tasted. He can still remember the relief from the burn in his throat that animals can only sooth, not eliminate.
When Edward slips he can hear every thought of his victims as they die. He hates it. He hates himself because of what he’s stolen. He can’t do anything to stop it.
Bella’s mind is silent. It’s the first time he’s ever met someone who’s mind is silent.
At first he thinks it would be so much easier to kill her and drain her. She could get rid of the burn and he wouldn’t need to hear her desperation as he kills her. Then he remembers how much he doesn’t want that. How it would disappoint Carlisle and Esme–his whole family. It would be so soon after his last slip.
He decides to talk to Bella. Alice says it’s easier to think of the high schoolers as people. What better way to do this than to get to know them on a more personal level?
It doesn’t take long for him to fall in love, but even when he wants nothing more than to cherish Bella, he’s still a constant risk to her.
When Bella’s 18th birthday comes around he’s the one who attacks. It breaks him.
When Edward leaves it’s to protect Bella from himself. How could he face her again? How could he face his family when not even the one he loves more than life itself is safe from his poor control?
Eclipse AU where Victoria turns Charlie instead of Riley. She convinces him to kill the Cullens because look Chief Swan, look how they’ve been preying on your little girl. She is all but being groomed to be a corpse bride. She uses his love for Bella and his unbridled newborn rage all while secretly planning on killing Bella herself when Charlie has cleared the others out.
AND THEY FUCKING LOOK LIKE THAT💀💀💀☠️☠️☠️
literally the entire plot of eclipse
Honestly, Edward Cullen could have crashed out much worse than he did when he realized he was falling in love. I don’t think he gets enough credit for that.
I think if after a century of not feeling any romantic attraction to anyone, I would have the mother of all existential crises if I suddenly fell face-first into a pit of Being In Love like he did. I’d be writing so many strongly worded letters to the powers that be. How dare you change this fundamental part of me so late in the game?
For how inflexible vampires are as a whole, and how Edward is shown to be particularly self-assured, I’m impressed by how smoothly he rolled with this huge change. If you ignore the fact that the person he fell in love with was specifically designed to stress him out, Edward’s reaction to the idea itself of falling in love was basically “oh, okay, this is who I am now. I am love’s bitch. I will adjust my fretting accordingly”
During the battle in Eclipse, what infinitely superior location should Edward have hidden Bella? (As opposed to a tent in the woods half a mile from all the vampires that wanted her dead.)
Jacksonville (like he did earlier in the book)
La Push (equal amount of protection with Colin and Brady who get left behind.)
Random hotel across state lines
A crowded street in broad daylight with a hundred witnesses.
Literally anywhere else
Other (silly answers in the tags, replies, etc.)
Au where Bella actually learns a ton about cars in new moon from Jake and when Edward breaks her truck in the beginning of eclipse she just opens up the hood and reconnects whatever he took apart and drives off without him leaving him in shock cause he didn’t realize that she learned anything
when bella didn't want to get married at 18 because she saw how her parents' marriage crumbled and she was opposed to the patriarchal nature of the whole institution, and is bitter about it until the moment she is walking down the aisle, but as soon as she's married she realizes that being mrs. cullen is actually the best thing to ever happen to her and she's immediately ecstatic to have a baby with her husband. the way jacob says "you don't even belong to yourself anymore" about imprinting and is repulsed by the very idea, but then when he imprints he realizes it's actually what he was born to do & nothing could make him happier & he leaves everything behind to live with his mate's family. man once you become aware of the mormon agenda present within the twilight saga it is ALL you're aware of lol
edward likes taking bella to the meadow because she gets eaten up by mosquitos who then become flying little snackies that edward doubles back for. edward leaps about the meadow snatching them up like a bass jumping from a lake
Bella x Edward text posts
Edward's gaze fixated on the woman across the room.
Bella Swan was dead.
His eyes unmoving, unblinking, while his mind raced. Bella Swan was dead, and he had killed her.
It takes two... a voice inside him said, but he ignored it, shoved it back into the darkness. He already had too many voices intruding his mind. Instead, he stared at the woman and she stared back, eyes red.
He would never see Bella's beautiful brown eyes again; after a hundred years, eternity still felt incomprehensible, smoke scaping the grasp from his shadow. Her soft eyes, like calming pools, now stained red with blood, windows to her soullesness.
She smiled.
He mimicked her, for her sake.
Both Renesmee and Charlie had eyes like the ones Bella Swan used to have. But they were like hers, not hers. Edward was tired of things like her. They were mocking, taunting. An illusion, an allusion, nothing but a reminder to her likeness, not unlike a statue... it wasn't Bella. Not Bella Swan.
He blinked, not out of need but out of habit, and she was now in front of him. She was now faster than anything. She was now not one to trip nor fall. She was now graceful and flawless, perfection incarnate like the rest of them.
She was now a Cullen.
That's what was kissing him now. That's what he'll soon be making love to - because that's all they did now. Better than talking. Better than thinking. Better than confronting reality. Bella Swan was dead and Bella Cullen had stolen her face.
Cullen ripped their clothes, both more expensive than Bella's truck had been. She didn't hold back and neither did he. He could only mourn at the loss of her warmth, the loss of her taste, the loss of her soft skin, and mourn, most of all, the scent that drew him to her.
He was at peace, or a a cruel facsimile of the concept. A purgatory, for his thoughts and his thoughts alone. The other Cullens gave them space in times like this, so Edward was left to contemplate with no one worrying, no one watching.
Bella Swan now only existed in the memories of everyone that had known her. The times only Bella and he had shared, existed in him alone. To Cullen, her interactions were shaped by a hazy cloud, nothing had been real until she opened her eyes thirsty for blood. Her human life had been nothing but the time spent in a womb before she was born as a vampire.
He didn't know her, and yet she was one of them. For eternity, and after.
Perhaps, until death, had a been a warning. Because, beyond death, only a stranger awaits.
