Oh Them
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@effyeahzimbits
Oh Them
college is all about making out with your secret lover in a twin size bed too small for the both of you, isn't it?
jack zimmermann in high school was like âi am insane đ€ȘđĄ â and that made him self destructive and kind of an asshole because he was overwhelmed and didnât know why his brain was doing the things it was doing to him. And so he drank and he partied and he let kent parson pierce his ears one night after a party neither of them really wanted to be at, and he talked back to coaches because obviously he knew better than everybody. And everyone knew who Jack Zimmermann was in an âoh yeah, that motherfuckerâs crazy,â kind of way, in a, âhe walked the mile even though heâs a semi-professional athlete because he didnât want to and he thought it was a waste of time,â way, in a , âdid you hear that zimmermann blacked out last night and then scored a hat trick during the game?â kind of way
jack zimmermann in college was like, âi am insane đđ¶â and that made him feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility. He had to be so regimented, so strict with himself to keep anyone from knowing that his brain was doing the things it was doing to him. And so he studied and he didnât come out of his room all that much and he practiced and went to class and practiced and he went on a couple dates and hung out with a couple friends, but on the whole, he kept it inside. Everyone knew who Jack Zimmermann was because no one else showed up to every single 8am American History lecture for an entire year without even thinking about skipping, no one has such a reliably consistent schedule. When people say heâs insane, itâs with a sense of reverence, heâs insanely disciplined, insanely dedicated, insanely strong. No more impulse, only actions that have been completely and utterly thought through.
jack zimmermann in the NHL is like âi am insane đ€·ââïžđâ and that makes him play pranks in the locker room and pick bitty up and toss him over his shoulder for no reason, it makes him say, âhave you ever thought about how iâd look with frosted tips?â half to see what George would say and half because heâs considering it. It makes him get a dog with more energy than he has. It makes him just say, âIâm getting grumpy, Iâm gonna go home now, but this was a fun party,â without feeling bad about it. It makes him a little gentler with himself, it makes him fucking hilarious. It makes him go to therapy pretty regularly. It makes him text Tater at 2 in the morning to tell him that he just bought a âhappy birthdayâ cake even though itâs nobodyâs birthday so they can leave it in the playerâs lounge to make everybody nervous and think they forgot someoneâs birthday. jack zimmermann in the NHL is like, âi am insane, we knew that, letâs move on,â and good for him
au where jack doesn't take time off after rehab but instead a year of falcs-mandated therapy and is recruited by them right after
au where, four years later, jack is wearing the a and he finds george sighing at piles of paper on her desk and when he asks her what's wrong and if he can help she says, "wanna help me scout ncaa players?", and she's mostly joking so she's pretty surprised when jack says, "okay."
and when they divide the schools between them jack gets samwell because he tells george his mom went there, and it's not a big name school, so why should it matter?
jack takes his job seriously. and smh have good potential - jack immediately zeroes in on chow, but the kid's a freshman and it's a bit too early - and there's birkholz, but jack asks around and the guy is post-injury, and then -
jack notices bittle only after the playoffs. he's small, so at first jack's eye kind of skids off him, but the playoffs show off how he's also fast. fast in ways the falcs' offense isn't, and could really use. and jack played with parse, he knows size doesn't equal talent, and he knows this kind of size and speed is sometimes a huge asset...
but he's also still a sophomore, so jack doesn't say anything yet. the falcs don't have the cap space to spare that year anyway. but he keeps an eye on bittle for most of the following year, except he doesn't watch the ncaa playoffs as closely as he has because the falcs go far in their own playoffs, and then further, and then they win the cup, so.
but when george asks during that summer he tells her about the speedy winger who's graduating next year. and she's impressed -- starts talking about the farm team, asks jack to keep an eye on bittle to see if anyone is making him a different offer -- and jack feels proud because he's done well. he helped.
jack would've heard about bittle making captain even if he wasn't keeping a close eye. first out ncaa captain. jack doesn't think much of it -- very deliberately, probably, doesn't think much of it -- and when he shows the articles to george he very deliberately doesn't think about the way she just says, "okay, we'll let pr know in advance," without looking like it's going to be a problem.
george lets pr know, and she starts sending scouts to samwell games. it seems like everything is gonna work out (if bittle is interested in their offer). except first out ncaa captain lingers with jack, and he keeps keeping an eye on bittle, even googles him a little, maybe not just articles but also images, which he maybe spends a while looking at? maybe? he's not totally aware he's doing it until the screen goes black.
the thing is, bittle was a cute sophomore, and a good looking junior, but bittle as a senior and a captain is... well. jack's not sure he ever experienced this kind of reaction, isn't used to only be attracted to looks (it should be noted that jack isn't too in tune with the fact that he also knows every tiny detail about bittle's hockey and that he read three google pages worth of interviews with him and that he even read some of his social media and seen some of his videos, because jack takes everything seriously, even non-official scouting gigs. but it's probably easier to tell himself that his attraction is only based on looks).
but then samwell wins the championship under bittle's lead and george tells jack that they're gonna make him an offer. and jack must not look very happy about it, because george frowns and asks, "is there a problem?", and jack opens his mouth to say no, because bittle is a good player, could fit well with the falcs, there's no problem -- but then he realizes: there's no hockey problem.
oh. he's really, actually, genuinely into the rookie he just helped recruit.
fuck.
jack's PSA (zimbits q&a vlog sillies feat. shitty)
Stop, because it's THEM
IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN THEM
AND IT ALWAYS WILL BE THEM
I've been here for six years. Six years and I can't escape. Zimbits is my number 1.
a lil meet ugly đ for jack and bitty
based on @bamsara concept
Fun fact: I used to be obsessed with hockey.
Another fun fact: This comic is amazing and I just binged it again because it made my day better.
Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu
Itâs 2018. Bittyâs channel has taken off and heâs made an instagram at the request of his followers. Here is his most popular set of stories:
Bitty: yâall keep asking me to post thirst traps of my man but you know this is a baking channel. the only thirst traps youâre gonna see are of my mouth-watering tartlets, fresh out of the oven!
Jack, entering the room still wet with a towel low on his hips: Bits, I know youâre filming but where is all my underwear? Did you hide it or something?
Bitty: sweetie thatâs ridiculous, why would I do that
Bitty: *winks at camera*
absolutely adore the idea of bitty going from being the Haus Virgin to fucking his pro athlete bf on a Tuesday night loud enough for the boys to hear through their mario kart tourney downstairs
BRO!!!!! (a quick holsom while I try to finish 1000 wips at once)
bitty, biting his lower lip: talk dirty to me? in french?
jack, panicking: euh, euh, je tâaime
jack spends a good decade of their life muttering things in french in bittyâs ear whenever bitty wants him to talk dirty, until one say he slips and says a word bitty recognizes, and thatâs the moment bitty finds out that for years jack has been listing random hockey stats while they were fucking because itâs the only thing his brain could come up with that required 0% of his concentration
one day after saying they need to talk bitty will start tearing up and ask jack, âwho is this wayne guy? did you meet him at work? why are you saying his name during sex?âÂ
jack swallows and understand very well at that moment that his explanation will sound either like the most convoluted excuse for thinking about another guy in bed, or the Most Jack Thing Ever.Â
âI woke up, and you werenât there.â Jack grumbled, leaning in to kiss Bitty on the cheek.Â
âBaby, you think Iâm going to let you scurry back to Providence on an empty stomach? Who do you think I am?â Bitty smiled sleepily up at Jack, his hair still mussed from sleep.
 âI just didnât realize you could wake up this early on your own free will,â Jack teased, not bothering to avoid the incoming swat.Â
âJack Laurent Zimmermann, do you want pancakes, or not?â
today's shower thoughts: bitty's first providence visit that august is really the first time they get the luxury of figuring out how they like to sleep together.
so that first night they crawl into bed and bitty tries not to make a big deal of the fact that jack chose a side of the bed that he very clearly does not sleep in (even though that, and the fact that jack super nonchalantly asks if bitty's bringing senior bun to bed, makes his whole body feel jittery and fluttery)
and once they finally get settled in, once they've talked until their eyelids grew too heavy, bitty tucks himself into the sheets and tugs the blanket up to his ears and nestles senior bun under his pillow, then blinks sleepily at jack (more than a little giddy that he gets to fall asleep in the same bed as jack zimmermann) and says, "g'night, honey."
he expects a sleepy smile in return - it's one of his favorites, the one that greeted him every sunday morning throughout the last few months of his sophomore year, as the two of them headed towards faber in the dark - but instead jack's face does something strange. "you -- you wanna stay all the way over there?"
bitty looks at the scant ten inches of mattress between them. "oh. uh...?"
"I thought maybe we could, uh. spoon?"
bitty very heroically does not squirm happily at hearing jack say spoon. he bets shitty will pay buckets for the privilege. "well, I... I kinda like sleepin' on my stomach."
"ah. okay." jack smiles gently and knocks his knee against bitty's shin beneath the sheets. "good night, bittle."
but bitty looks at jack, at the way he's lying on his side, arm curled around his pillow -- like maybe he always sleeps like this, with space left over for someone to curl into his arms -- and realizes, another bout of elated butterflies flittering around his stomach, that this someone is him now. and then, with another full-body wave of delighted fondness:
jack zimmermann is a cuddler.
so, see, bitty is no fool. he's not going to let this opportunity slip away, not when he never even dreamed he could have this a few months back. so he shuffles a little closer, closes the distance between them, smiles shyly when he sees jack watching him with confusion, and carefully maneuvers himself until he's lying on jack's chest, one of his legs snug between jack's. he doesn't let himself overthink it, because if he would, he'd surely talk himself out of it.
"this okay?"
jack's arms enfolding around him is a good enough answer. the soft kiss he presses to bitty's forehead is a bonus.
"'s great. good night, bits."
I just love them so much, you guys
shitty and lardo as morticia and gomez from addams family for halloween. yyes shitty is morticia and lardo is gomez. obviously.
This. Is their dynamic.
Based on this post, imagine Jack Zimmermann...
He makes that post on his Insta thinking he's standing up to Hollywood and its unrealistic ideals. Jack thinks he's sharing informative and honest details about muscles, how they work, and Hollywood bodies.
Jack: I did some good today, Bits!
Bittle and the rest of the internet: đ„”đ„”đ„”đ„”
@montrealmadison
100% YES