one smile.

Ind. Sel. Matou Sakura from the Fate series. Penned by Miko. Please read rules before interacting. Tracked tag: egaohitotsude

[egaohitotsude]

[ I AM CR Y I N G ]

[criminalizes]

you know what? im gunna say it

my trauma didnt make me a better or stronger person and i shouldnt have to act like it did to be taken seriously

[thepurpleblossom]

[thepurpleblossom]

[egaohitotsude]

.

[egaohitotsude]

‘ put your seatbelt on. ’

* love ♥ starters🌸 accepting !!

     “E-Eh– Um– seatbelt?”   She squeaks almost, body stiff and rigid on the seat. The interior of the car is almost suffocating, foreign walls that seem to be pressing down on her and foreign things left and right. Sakura has seen a car before, of course. And watched enough television series to know that how the inside looks like. But… there is something different from watching it on a screen and actually being in one!

It takes her a few moments before she could link the word to the actual object, and her hands scrambles for the belt, accidentally pulling it too hard the first time, but in her next try, she takes care to use less strength, and cautiously tapes it over her and clips it into the little buckle.

     “I-It’s done! I’m okay…!”

No one asked her if she’s alright, but somehow Sakura felt it necessary to say, heart still thumping from the novel experience of actually being driven around.

[egaohitotsude]

"...Bad dream?"

* love ♥ starters 🌸 accepting !!

She woke up in a cold sweat. But she did not move an inch when her eyes snapped open. Nightmares are common, an almost daily occurrence; it’s hard to get good, well-rested sleep when her surroundings – her room, the people living in the mansion – are stifling. On good days, she does not awaken from her sleep, and she does not remember her dreams the night before. On the rare, rare days, she dreams of… dreams, of a happy, comforting life, uninterrupted by any bad in the world. And those dreams, she replays again and again in her mind, holding them dearly in her heart.

Tonight’s dream is neither of those. A nightmare, but it is a cut even above the normal bad dreams. Her hands red, dripping with blood and dead bodies – familiar dead bodies. Orange hair. Black pigtails. On the ground, unmoving, growing cold–

She cuts the all too real images off, tries not to think about the imagined pungent scent of iron and ragged breathes and her own crazed laughter. Instead, she turns her focus to the question, the voice – the only source of comfort in her otherwise frenzied mind.

She pushes herself up, the moonlight streaming in just enough to make out the Servant’s outline.   “…Yes.”   She laughs a bit, but the sound is weak, unconvincing.

     “It’s late… Rider-san should rest too.”   Servants don’t need to sleep, but still, she can’t help but add. It… is tiring to not feel rested at all.

[egaohitotsude]

‘ you could stay here. with me. ’

* love ♥ starters 🌸 accepting !!

Sakura pauses midstep, thoughts and mind seeming to have frozen with just those words of his, her throat caught.

They were smiling, and talking, just like any other evening. And she still hears the sound of the television just a few meters away, the low murmur of the evening news anchor. If Taiga was here, perhaps Sakura may not have responded to his words as such. But she left early, and in this tiny japanese-styled living room, it feels.... intimate, as if in this world, there is only the two of them.

     I could stay here. With Senpai.

But... that’s an impossibility. In this world, there are others too, not just Sakura or Shirou. Just because Shirou allows her to stay... Even if she wants to take that hand, but... she can’t. Not if she wants to protect him.

     “Thank you, Senpai. But if I don’t go back, Nii-san and Ojii-sama will be worried.”

[egaohitotsude]

"I refuse to tolerate your shenanigans. Give me the money."

     “S-Shenangians? Um...”

Did Sakura do anything? She doesn’t seem to recall that she did anything as... outrageous as to be described as a shenanigan. In fact, isn’t he the one who is doing one, demanding her for money like this...!

     “I don’t understand why I have to.”   The money she has is for the groceries tonight, she won’t hand it over so easily.

[vhsmeme]

* love ♥ starters

‘ want me to stay? ’

‘ we’re almost home. ’

‘ you should be in bed. ’

‘ we can share it.’

‘ stay there. i’m coming to get you. ’

‘ shh, shh. you were dreaming. ’ 

‘ grab my hand. ’

‘ i’m just going to pick you up. ’

‘ everything okay? ’

‘ i won’t leave you behind. ’

‘ don’t worry. better out than in. ’

‘ who did that to you? ’ 

‘ sit down and rest. ’

‘ sweetie, i would never think that. ’

‘ come lay down in my lap. ’

‘ i know you think you’re all alone out there, but you’re not. ’

‘ call me when you get home. ’

‘ we should change those bandages. ’

‘ you’re safe here. ’

‘ honey… ’

‘ of course we love you. ’

‘ wait here. i’ll go run a bath for you. ’

‘ take my bed for tonight. ’

‘ i promise. ’ 

‘ you’re always welcome here. ’

‘ don’t talk like that. ’

‘ bad dream? ’

‘ talk to me. ’  

‘ it’s okay to cry. ’

‘ you need to be more careful.’

‘ we should hug this out. ’

‘ i worry about you. ’

‘ can i hold your hand? ’ 

‘ because i care about you. ’

‘ it made me think of you. ’ 

‘ take care of yourself. ’

‘ put your seatbelt on. ’ 

‘ where did you go? ’ 

‘ i didn’t mean to worry you. ’

‘ i made breakfast. ’

‘ sing something for me? ’

‘ open it and find out. ’

‘ how long have you been like this? ’

‘ you look nice. ’

‘ here, take my jacket. ’

‘ close your eyes and try to get some rest. ’

‘ focus on my voice. ’ 

‘ i meant every word. ’

‘ i was here all night. ’

‘ look both ways before you cross. ’

‘ you don’t have to talk. ’ 

‘ this is your favorite, right? ’

‘ you’ll feel better in the morning. ’

‘ you have a nice laugh. ’

‘ here, take my jacket. ’

‘ you could stay here. with me. ’

‘ we’ll figure it out together. ’

[egaohitotsude]

[ went through follows list ! if i didnt follow you, theres a high chance that it means that i cant find your rules / about !!

[ also reminder that this is a sideblog so follows are from @mikocchi so if you see some random acc following and liking things, ye-- ]

[ignite-the-fires-far]

A small squeak would escape her lips as her pink face formed into a pout. It was hard to communicate. She felt dizzy by the heat, and this was just even harder to be understood.

“Alright…” she would mumble.

Starting to waddle to cross the street, she would look both ways to find a crossing. Turning to the girl one last time she would issue a question.

“Are you coming?”

Hëlka would be okay either way. She just needed a refreshment and she needed it asap.

[egaohitotsude]

Sakura blinks. Hearing the agreement should have meant that the girl is alright with going with her to the coffee shop, right? But... if so... why is she walking ahead all by herself...?

It leaves her at a loss, and purple eyes just trail after the stranger blankly, feet unsure if they should move forward to follow her.   What if... she wants to go there by herself?

Her messy thoughts and doubts are thankfully erased the moment the girl speaks again, and this time Sakura is not confused at all.   “Y-Yes, I’m coming!”   She is the one who first invited her, so of course, she’s coming...!

They walk quickly enough; the shop is not far away, and within minutes, they’re inside the shop and given a two-seater by the window. Sakura tentatively pushes the menu towards the other then.

     “Um... You can see if there is anything else you’ll like...”

[egaohitotsude]

beautivile‌:

Berserker was glad that she understood, at least… Though the sudden question about the weapon breaking caught her off-guard. The monster was silent for a moment, staring at Bridal Chest. Indeed, were this device destroyed, her body would be unable to function properly… It was why she had limiters in place to keep herself from unleashing her Noble Phantasm’s true power, which completely overloaded her heart.

The monster simply shook her head, though. Bridal Chest wouldn’t break easily. If there was one thing her father could be credited for… It was that his creations were extremely durable…

Sakura watches her with worried eyes, the hesitance in the other’s behaviour is clear enough, as if there are more that she wanted to communicate. But Sakura lets it be, simply nodding once, before turning and staring at the weapon.

     “Please... take care of it.”   A part of Sakura wants to touch the weapon, but knowing what’s inside, knowing what fragility that lies inside this weapon, Sakura... does not dare to anymore. Even though Berserker seems confident that it won’t break. 

     “Do you have to carry it everywhere? Wouldn’t it be a little inconvenient?”   Though, Sakura supposes that if her heart is inside, there is no helping it.

[egaohitotsude]

🌸 || @weiwuxiian​

She watches the Servant stammer and almost break out into a cold sweat, and she stills, purple eyes blinking in confusion.

It... is not hard to guess the reason. The Servant is scared of dogs. No... He’s terrified of them. Sakura has seen some people who are like that. They shuffle their feet nervously, laugh awkwardly and find ways to avoid the dogs or find an excuse to leave the area. But... they are never as... extreme as this. Most people are at least able to pretend that they aren’t affected by dogs, but here... he just ran off.

    “... Eh?”

Sakura has not known the Servant for long, but he has always been confident, a jokester, a prankster, full of laughs. Even when she first met him just at the bottom of the church hill, dressed in strange clothes. and occasionally some frowns, but never ever fear. In the midst of the clearing confusion, there’s a growing sort of curiosity.   If he is this scared... maybe there is a reason for it...?

But even beyond this curiosity, there’s another itch. A strange kind of itch that makes the corner of her lips twitch upwards. It is a strange feeling. Sakura tends to feel ill at ease with people. But he is a strange exception; maybe his bright personality is part of the reason. She cradles the dog carefully in her arms who strangely seems to be at ease in her grip, before her legs take off too. In the direction of the quickly vanishing figure.

Sakura cannot run. If there is any limbs in which she has to pick that she would be proud of, it would be her arms -- her arm strength specifically -- but never her legs. But... even if the other is a Heroic Spirit, she chases after him.

     “W-Wait...! Avenger-san, w-wait! P-Please--! I--I have something to say--!”   She calls out in short breathes, clearly exhausted and tired from the exertion of running but she calls out regardless, a faked urgency in her voice that would have demanded anyone to stop and listen to her.

[egaohitotsude]

🌸 || @digitalfcte

Meeting Ayako again is... awkward. After Ayako’s ambush at the Matou residence, they had not met again. Sakura thought... the entire time that... perhaps she and Ayako could be friends.

Sakura does not have many friends, if at all. Senpai... is Senpai... Taiga is her teacher. Mitsuzuri is her senior. And Rin is... a senior as well. And she’d thought that they could be friends. But... if she found out about the Matous, of how the Matous teach their children, maybe she’ll be too disgusted. Still... there is nothing to suggest that she had found that out.

     “Ogata-san... Have you been doing okay?”   A small hesitant wave. She just came out from visiting the aquarium, the new place she decided to visit since a while ago, on days that she does not want to head back to the Matous too early.

[egaohitotsude]

🌸 || @accidentalphenom

Sakura bites the top of the pencil, purple eyes staring at the chunks and chucks of words. Then at the notebook full of her scribbles, symbols, characters and alphabets all in her handwritting but they seem so foreign to her, blurring in her mind even.

Maybe... she should take a break. But... at this rate, she will be given disapproving looks. Her foundation is already so weak, and she has to... make it up by studying! Or... she’ll be wasting Flat’s goodwill for even managing to bring her to the Clocktower of all places...! What started off as a trip to London somehow ended up as a summer exchange programme...!

     “... Flat-san... How do you study...?”

[egaohitotsude]

So the Nightmare before Christmas be what Sakura could watch?

     “Um... I like the romance movies that play near Christmas... Tokyo Godfathers is also nice.... It’s about three homeless people picking up an abandoned baby. If there are more of such kind people, I think the world would be nicer...”