hotdog on eggs

fahdkfjhaqk fried egg on tje hotdog

[home-sheepo]

REBLOG to fuck a WIZARD

IGNORE for PENIS CURSE

[eggsonhotdog]

I don't want to find out what the penis curse is but I hope the wizard has a small dick

[eggsonhotdog]

Tumblr ads are literally:

1. I WILL EAT YIUR CHEEED FOOD PPLLLEJSJDB

2. Spontaneous combustion throughout history

3. Gallery of thee hottest gamers!!!!!!!! ✨✨🌟⭐💯💯💯💥💥💢💓💓💓💓💝💝💖😥😥😥

[eggsonhotdog]

Tumblr keeps giving me posts about obscure games and genres of anime and it's like, why?

I am a fat little dum dum and I do not know of this igiho ngisksja please leave me to my suffering and let my feeble brain comprehend

[penroseparticle]

First aid training is actually very serious and I get what this bullet point is saying about hypothermia but this legit fucking took me out:

[deluxe-distrait]

-gamecrowd

[eggsonhotdog]

I have the umbles

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool]

New social media just dropped

[eggsonhotdog]

Tumblr is dead for real this time, Michaels is our new scumhole. Flock to him, sheep, flock.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

have decided to sell out my dreams!

for the bargain price $4.20 you can purchase the Clown Dream I had last night!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Ok so in the dream I was a purveyor of clown meat. basically i ran a delicatessen that sold assorted deli meats but in particular i sold clown meat, which was somehow both a specialty item and a dietary staple. like it was a really culturally important food group. 

the thing about owning & operating a clown meat deli is that for some reason i was required to hunt the clowns myself, which required a hunting permit. 

Keep reading

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

right so as i recall, my lawyer only took me on as a client to begin with bc, upon my arrest, i had made the most astonishingly controversial claim, upon which my entire defense would now hinge aka THERE ARE NO SIGNIFICANT ANATOMICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CLOWNS AND HUMANS. That is to say i stood there in front of god (nonexistent) and man (painfully existent) and declared that once the skin came off, there was no reliable method of distinguishing clown meat from human meat, because while their behavior and appearance and presumed intelligence differed enormously–their anatomies did not.

I was so full of shit I should have burst like a balloon, but I said it with such conviction that everyone hesitated and took a step back.

Keep reading

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

(gore tw)

I stood in that hot, damp courtroom, surrounded by reporters, detested former customers, and my Texan lawyer in his silly white suit-and-mustache, and I listen in awe and occasional nausea as a New York City Coroner recounted to a shellshocked jury that one of the most common forensic issues that law enforcement encounters in new york is when bodies are pulled out of the harbor–in particular, severed body parts, which are a fine new york harbor tradition. 

Keep reading

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

FINAL PART

Here is the secret. Here is the secret I never told anyone. Not any of those scientists or priests or reporters. Not my lawyer or that coroner whose testimony probably saved my life.

I spent decades butchering and selling clown meat, so I knew without a doubt that dead clowns are in fact very easy to distinguish from human corpses. Oh they look the same all right, but any clown butcher worth their salt can tell you the unique thing about clown meat–the reason that clown meat is so much easier to clean and cut and dress than any other type of animal flesh. 

Keep reading

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I’m glad you all enjoyed this riot of a circus! Thanks especially to @bootleg-netflix​ and @frog-in-a-jumper​, who commemorated this notorious occasion with fan art:

That’s all folks!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

in conclusion:

credit: @potooonakeyboard

[eggsonhotdog]

I don't know if I want this to be real or fake. I feel like if I check I'll get stabbed.

[insanityismyidentity]

i uh

shocked myself earlier

felt weird

[eggsonhotdog]

*zap*

...

Funky

[eggsonhotdog]

Drug users be wasting all kinds of money on adrenaline like go on a waterslide

[world-heritage-posts]

What is your favorite dry, crunchy snack that isn't chips

i actually hate most chips. sometimes sour cream and onion pringles hit but i have to be in a specific mood. so with that said it is dried seaweed

[eggsonhotdog]

I hate seaweed

[eggsonhotdog]

Your name disturbed me until I realize eggs have been made into hotdog toppings

Yeah... It's just a normal fried egg

[just-red-thoughts]

moss

moss

[eggsonhotdog]

moss

[eggsonhotdog]

fancy kazoos needed to be bought, so they turned to the education system lol

the education system is the only system that's so messed up they didn't see a problem with recorders

[insanityismyidentity]

SJETMFIUOSRDHJESIUJ A CHOIR KID? YOU YOU ARE ONE OF MY KIND WE ARE THE SAME SPECIES SHDRNGVIULDRJGMOIAH

YPUR A CHOIR KID?!??@ I SHOULDVE KNOWN!!!

ALSO I NEED TO UPDATE THAT THANKS FOR REMINDING ME

[butyrospermum-parkii]

SERGNEURLTJOEIRJK YES WE ARE ONE IN THE SAME WE ARE SO COOL CHOIR KIDS REIGN SUPREME

[nervousnighttragdies]

OTHER CHOIR PEOPLE

[butyrospermum-parkii]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE SINNGGG

[psychoticgiraffigon]

ALL YOU CHOIR KIDS SHALL BOW BEFORE US BAND KIDS. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR RACE

[butyrospermum-parkii]

LMAO

HEY LOSER

DO YOU BLOW THINGS OR BANG THINGS?

[psychoticgiraffigon]

I BLOW THE HELL OUT OF THINGS. AND I’D BET YOU TWENTY DOLLARS US BAND KIDS CAN SING AS GOOD AS YOU CHOIR KIDS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK

[butyrospermum-parkii]

I BET YOU LIKE A POUND THAT I COULD CIRCULAR BREATHE BETTER THEN YOU

[eggsonhotdog]

HA NEITHER OF YOU CAN EVEN COMPARE TO US ORCHESTRA KIDS

[butyrospermum-parkii]

literally so true bestie orchestra kids are cooler then all of us

[psychoticgiraffigon]

did the whole orchestra thing, was not a vibe. also on the whole circular breathing thing i can do it through a straw but not on my instruments

[butyrospermum-parkii]

you know what i hate? flutes. i love to listen to them but dont get one near me i'll break it

[eggsonhotdog]

flutes remind of recorders... god that concert was HELL

[insanityismyidentity]

SJETMFIUOSRDHJESIUJ A CHOIR KID? YOU YOU ARE ONE OF MY KIND WE ARE THE SAME SPECIES SHDRNGVIULDRJGMOIAH

YPUR A CHOIR KID?!??@ I SHOULDVE KNOWN!!!

ALSO I NEED TO UPDATE THAT THANKS FOR REMINDING ME

[butyrospermum-parkii]

SERGNEURLTJOEIRJK YES WE ARE ONE IN THE SAME WE ARE SO COOL CHOIR KIDS REIGN SUPREME

[nervousnighttragdies]

OTHER CHOIR PEOPLE

[butyrospermum-parkii]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE SINNGGG

[psychoticgiraffigon]

ALL YOU CHOIR KIDS SHALL BOW BEFORE US BAND KIDS. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR RACE

[butyrospermum-parkii]

LMAO

HEY LOSER

DO YOU BLOW THINGS OR BANG THINGS?

[psychoticgiraffigon]

I BLOW THE HELL OUT OF THINGS. AND I’D BET YOU TWENTY DOLLARS US BAND KIDS CAN SING AS GOOD AS YOU CHOIR KIDS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK

[butyrospermum-parkii]

I BET YOU LIKE A POUND THAT I COULD CIRCULAR BREATHE BETTER THEN YOU

[eggsonhotdog]

HA NEITHER OF YOU CAN EVEN COMPARE TO US ORCHESTRA KIDS

[thecrimerat]

Okay which class should Delilah be?

Druid

Barbarian

Or Rogue

[eggsonhotdog]

Druid

[dabiqwq-moved-deactivated202109]

the 'welcome to Chili's' vine guy, Adam Perkins, passed away today. ive never been this sad. rest in peace king.

[eggsonhotdog]

f

[thecrimerat]

New Theory:

Donuts do not exist

[just-petty-thoughts]

Ok but consider: donuts are just sugary bagels

[thecrimerat]

Ok but consider: no

[just-petty-thoughts]

Ok but consider: Bagels are just savoury donuts?

[just-gay-thoughts]

Bagels/donuts are the crepes of the yeast world

[pinkthinkspalistineshouldbefree]

What is a crepe

[just-gay-thoughts]

Frnch food, a crépe is made of mostly eggs and is almost like a pancake. They can be either sweet (which is what Americans typically associate with crépe, an eggy flat pancake rolled up with things like fruits, chocolate, and whipped cream) or savory (another popular way to eat them, they're made without sugar added but eaten similarly, rolled up with things like vegetables and meat inside)

[pinkbiscuits-perks-and-curses]

don't tell me savoury pancakes are not a common thing in america

[thecrimerat]

Excuse what did you just call a crepe?

And they’re less common than you think

[youareextremelyfuckinselfishdie]

whaaat so you guys don’t throw together a crepe and stick some sausage or butter and jam in it??

[thecrimerat]

No?????? We have pancakes and waffles

[eggsonhotdog]

wait a minute so is crepe like a french omelette