Nature, Conservation and Transition diary

Hey there, i'm Sveinn. 18, high school senior. Also adding updates about my ftm transition.^Loves science and experiments, addicted to arthropods, invents crazy things and hopes to major in Bio or biochem.Working towards gaining muscle mass :)Also a...

[teknologen]

2 month on T (Testogel 50 mg) - So this swede is as happy as always. Enjoy!

[eighthopes]

Nice changes!! Glad to see you being extremely happy!! Keep up the good progress man! 

[eighthopes]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/javiermoreno/this-is-how-kids-reacted-to-photos-of-caitlyn-jenner  I wish society would learn from these children.. And most importantly, encourage individuals to be and express who they really are!!

[eighthopes]

I’m already 41 weeks on T!  update: wanted to get pass this summer without getting noticed by my pre-transition friends.. seems like I already got caught. I didn’t look at them directly but I did notice that they were trying to follow me back home. What’s worse is the impending rumour.. that may be spread by some kid that I took care of since the very day she was born. Fuck. 

[eighthopes]

it seems like they’ve totally forgotten about me.. yay another hole, punctured into my very fuckin soul. It was an arduous feat to fucking drag my feet there but none of you seemed to realise how hard it was for me. Throwing all those questions, those senseless comments and apathetic faces whenever I try my best to just force myself to get outta bed and fight depression to get there... .. and ya just end this chapter of life as if I was never in the picture, not even behind the scenes. Is that truly what I deserve? All these years.. the insurmountable barriers and shit that I have managed to break through- on the other side.. I see nothing but darkness. 

[eighthopes]

was it meant to be..? I don’t know. The fact that I couldn’t graduate any of the schools that i’ve left.. missing out all the grad tears and all the memorable moments.. The moment that was truly worthwhile I had forsaken. The greatest opportunity cost? maybe so. The friends that I have left behind, yes definitely. The ties that I had to cut to ensure my safety.. God knows how much this hurt. But all I can do now is keep going.. So that when I graduate from college, I could somewhat compensate those empty memories with something greater, something bigger and something more spectacular.  

Congratulations Class of 2015! This has truly been a great 7 years and I know that you’ve worked your asses off, cried your bloody eyes out and sweated a shitton of bullets just to get here. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours and I hope that someday, I will be able to meet you all again. 

[eighthopes]

nearly 8 months on T

not feeling well.. I can tell that i’m due for a shot. 

Wish I don’t have to deal with these peaks and troughs 

[eighthopes]

was just looking through my old pictures and I realised how fucking thin to a stick I was. Looking back, I’m kinda glad that I got out of that cycle of fighting my eating disorder but I still do suffer from low self esteem and I still have to measure everything I eat and cut out the grease-getting better though. AHH I just wish I could let go of these lingering thoughts!!!

[eighthopes]

You watch me fall—slowly fleeing, slowly sinking Then she saves me with the breath that she gives me

[eighthopes]

31 weeks on T- T shot day

Got my shot done today, and my doc upped my dose :) 

And when I got the bill.. shit he charged me more for the upped dose. WTF.

This guy is seriously bs but I have no choice since he’s the only “lgbt friendly” provider.. Trying to win a monopoly over me huh. 

[awwww-cute]

I’ve never seen a cat sit like this before

[eighthopes]

norcal or socal..?

[eighthopes]

So I’ve just secured my seat to Cali.. WOOOOO!

[tzaris-deactivated20150904]

[julietasalgado]

A Decade of Resilience, Resistance, and Revolution: Trans Day of Action 

The Audre Lorde Project

June 27, 2014

New York, New York

© julietasalgado

[femmeviolet]

“Until you accept all the shades of the rainbow, you don’t have ‘gay pride’, you have ‘self pride’”

[eighthopes]

I love her abs

[eighthopes]

29 weeks on T, 7 months in 10 days

So my voice is steadily dropping, abs are coming in after my slow cut (started December). Muscle mass is slowly increasing and hair growth is.. just so slow that its awfully disappointing. Started to add more fats into my diet to make up for the decreased ratio of carbs to keep me satiated. And my jaw is becoming more defined. I also need to do more cardio to burn more fat and increase my endurance, so I plan to run 2-3 times a week on my rest days. 

[ignitetheliight]

[eighthopes]

Trust me, you'll get there someday. I speak from experience. It just takes time. You won't regret the wait.

Thank you so much for your kindness. I've gotta realise that there are a lot of warm-hearted people like you in the world—someday I think I'll have the chance to surround myself with these understanding people :)