E is for Erinni

Just a dedicated place for my JJBA art, mostly centered around Vento Aureo and namely Sheila E from Purple Haze Feedback (taking art requests but no promises) If I ever sound aggressive or overly argumentative, know that I don't mean it, my brain just switches gears once I'm in debate mode, but I assure you I can be quite reasonable and enjoy those interactions <33

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New Passione group photo, circa 2009

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My copy of the official PHF (not calling it Purple Smoke Distortion <33) finally arrived so I started reading it and I although I'm enjoying seeing the differences between it and the fan translation, I feel like the official translation kills Sheila and Murolo's personalities, where Sheila loses her curtness and straightforwardness and Murolo reads as less eccentric. Everything feels flatter, there's so many extra words for nothing. Also there are these small changes that alter Fugo's characterizations in the exact ways I was grateful the fan translation managed to avoid (for most of the book. all the flashbacks character assassinated everyone of the Bucci gang sobbing emoji).

Idk if I'll report further, but I'm already sticking to with the original fan translation <33

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Still not done reading but I'm nearing the last third and my god, honestly this is fascinating in the ways it's bad, I think I will actually make a post abt that once I'm done. New big issue I've been noticing is how the translation somehow manages to create new issues for itself that weren't there in the original in the sense that it states something and then contradicts itself later on, solely because of a specific phrasing that was chosen. Also they killed her, they killed my girl.... Also the errors and typos. Have yet to see someone mention that they made Fugo 18 in Purple Haze's Stand description SOBBING EMOJI

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opinion on fugirl (transfem fugo)?

Admittedly, I’m deeply neutral about Fugirl. I think transfem hcs are neat and important by the virtue of existing and I love them for diversifying fanon headcanons because I think there’s nothing worse in fandom than when too many people agree on a headcanon to the point they forget it is still but a headcanon and other people can and should add their two cents to the ideas fund, so I like Fugirl on that front, but I have to confess that, having watched this hc grow over the past year or two and read various takes on it, I do not see the vision SOBBING EMOJI

Like, this is probably entirely a MeTM issue, but when I see (most of the time tme) people make Fugo’s story and character be nearly entirely attributed to her transness, with strong conviction and little to no room left for other interpretations and explorations of other aspects of her story (familial abuse, trauma, being neurodivergent, environmental factors, etc.) and treating it as basically canon, I feel like I can’t properly engage with it unless I 100% share the vision, whereas if someone makes a post or fanart with the tone of “here’s my girl Fugo <33” I can be like hell yeah! She’s wonderful, have a like.

I think there’s also something to be said about fandom transmisogyny and how it manifests, among other things, as a strong focus on the suffering in the experience of being a trans woman, in the choice of which characters (again, mostly tme—) people identify as (closeted) trans women, e.g. the most misogynistic, hateful, miserable incel-type male character, as well as the correlation to whiteness, where you most often see the whitest male chars be picked to be the tgirl in a group with multiple options, and I frankly see all of this in Fugirl to various degrees. It also ties to my previous point about making Fugo’s whole character abt her transness, because it’s heavily focused on all the suffering she endured and tying it all TO her transness, and I always read it and can’t help but think “But why can’t she just be happy being a girl. Why not show more of her realizing she’s a girl through positive experiences and adoration for womanhood as opposed to her suffering life-long dysphoria, why not have her realizing she’s trans be the best thing that ever happened to her and that allowed her to start a new, happier chapter in her life?” Like, yes, to most being trans isn’t a painless journey but 1. variety is important, for some the journey is more smooth than others and I think we’re focusing on just one type of experience by over-depicting the suffering of being trans, and 2. compared to how often transmasc hcs tend to be portrayed with a lot of focus on gender euphoria and joy, I think the transfem hcs r being robbed of that sort of representation, of the mirth of finally becoming who you are and wanna be.

Overall, I support the headcanon, but I don’t think I will ever claim it in any meaningful way but I will 100% respect and use she/her or other preferred pronouns under people’s posts because that's basic etiquette and should be respected.

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The fanon consensus regarding Fugo's first name seems to be that they hate it or at least actively dislike it which, although is a fair take because we literally have no information on that either way, I think is a shame somewhat, because other options are also really crunchy and interesting.

In the sense that how fucking sad would it be if Fugo didn't mind his name and was neutral abt it, but every single adult outside of his family just naturally gravitated towards their last name always, either due to various degree of adultification or personal discomfort and sense of weirdness with the name disguised as professionalism (random rich person voice I am not calling this kid Cooked Cream, like nice status symbol to name your kid that but idk. At least I can call them by their family name, since they're so MatureTM), and it further emphasized the lack of warmth and care and love in Fugo's life. And Fugo FEELING it and learning that yeah, people don't like my first name and are allergic to using it, and accommodating others this way and internalizing all the possible implications that brings (people don't want to get close to me, they think my name is embarrassing => they think it's embarrassing to be close to me, people rely on me being mature, what I want isn't important, other people's comfort and preferences matter more than mine, etc.). Like, I personally think Fugo is actually neutral towards his name and has just gotten used to it all and doesn't have any strong feelings towards it anyway because, well, it’s easier in many ways to default to your last name, so why not lean into that convenience, but just thinking abt a kid feeling hurt and confused abt why nobody is calling them by their name, that people prioritize their family's legacy over them as a person, and they LIKE being called by their name because that implies closeness, care, love, but people feel awkward abt using that name, thus signaling that they feel awkward fulfilling the kid's emotional needs and sense of self.

Like, as much as I think the trope is overdone and too catered to romantic situations as well as carrying some minor baggage, I think that in Fugo’s case he would cherish specific ppl he’s close to using his first name and nicknames, after taking literal weeks of continuous exposure to get used to it and emotionally tune in to the fact he likes it because their knee-jerk reaction would be surprise and this sort of “but you don’t have to use it, you can always call me Fugo as always” neutrality.

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Her...

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Does the official translation avoid the word "Stand" like the original or nah

Well, I haven't finished reading the translation yet, but I even went to check because I didn't feel like the original avoided using the word Stand even if it kept switching things up with words like "ability", and tbh so far I feel like the translation actually uses it LESS than the original, so make of that what you will

[eisforerinni]

My copy of the official PHF (not calling it Purple Smoke Distortion <33) finally arrived so I started reading it and I although I'm enjoying seeing the differences between it and the fan translation, I feel like the official translation kills Sheila and Murolo's personalities, where Sheila loses her curtness and straightforwardness and Murolo reads as less eccentric. Everything feels flatter, there's so many extra words for nothing. Also there are these small changes that alter Fugo's characterizations in the exact ways I was grateful the fan translation managed to avoid (for most of the book. all the flashbacks character assassinated everyone of the Bucci gang sobbing emoji).

Idk if I'll report further, but I'm already sticking to with the original fan translation <33

[eisforerinni]

I feel like in order to do a proper deep-dive into Sheila’s side of things in PHF, Giorno needs to be de-centered. Because PHF already does this weird thing of dehumanizing Giorno by turning him into this divine force of nature everyone bows to or otherwise respects as something More Than Human which is already damaging to Giorno’s characterization, but it also greatly affects the way Sheila is written.

Sheila being a Giorno worshipper is a fun enough joke, but it being written so black and white in the book actively flattens Sheila and over-simplifies or downright discards the weight of her situation, because it paints her seamless obedience of Giorno’s orders as something inherent and akin to sincere worship rather than a reaction to a complex situation where she has nobody and nothing once she finds out that Illuso’s dead and Giorno winds up being a very convincing and convenient figure to follow because 1. what else does she have to do, 2. he DID kill Illuso, so technically if she decided to follow him it would be a matter of honor and not weakness and aimlessness (she has a justification that protects her from being vulnerable about this), 3. his resolve is quite inspiring and his confidence is effective in making people believe in what he says, and at the time she needed that sort of security.

Hence why I don’t read her loyalty as genuine but rather a product of her circumstances that shift and re-shape in real time during PHF and also why she is so quick to change her mind about being loyal by the end. Nobody who’s truly loyal to someone would switch teams the moment someone who’s “more right” comes around, let alone be aware of this mindset of theirs. Sheila HAS to feel that her loyalty to Giorno stands on there not being someone BetterTM as of right now and perhaps even overcompensates for it bc of that, which is why I think she reacts so strongly when that fact is brought to light by Kocaqi’s Stand and cannot be ignored anymore + other stress and trauma gained from all the encounters that happened during their mission piling up.

Plus leaning into the worship feels like an excuse for the book to bring up Giorno and do info-dumps about him, effectively reducing Sheila to an exposition tool rather than a character, even though the exposition could be done with more respect to Sheila. I personally like to view it as Sheila trying to talk to Fugo and get to know them but just not having a clue about how small talk works or what they’re expected to talk about, so it makes sense to bring up Giorno because they both know Giorno so they can talk about Giorno, because that gives me the illusion she chose to talk about this rather than  the book using her as a prompt so Fugo has a reason to think about Giorno some more. All this to say I understand why Giorno stands at the center of PHF but it clashes really badly with the author’s misogyny and I’d much rather see Sheila treated better by the book than get more Giorno Being An Ominous Presence moments <3

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Sheila who’s been non-coping with her life losing its trajectory by surrendering herself to someone else’s vision and rationalizing the fuck out of it to justify staying in that limbo, for the first time in her life having the space to breathe and start processing her own aimlessness and face the fact she is alone and lonely and regretful she doesn’t know how to connect with people or how to find anyone who would feel like an equal in her position, and whose first time meeting and interacting an equal is filled with initiating MANY interrogation-esque conversations with them, thorough psychoanalyzing of all of their replies and letting them know when she thinks they’re totally lame for said replies, all of which being her subconscious attempts at creating a connection and getting to know a person on a deeper level, and Fugo who hasn’t had the opportunity to properly digest the loss of all their friends but has felt every second of their absence and replayed a hundred times over all the times he didn’t do right by them and all the times he could’ve and should’ve been a better friend, person, teammate, etc. and opened up more and nourished those bonds, and whose proclivity for forming deep, complex bonds in his head with people he’s just met is kept dormant until a time strikes again where someone gives them a chance to show that he CAN be better and kinder and more patient.

Do you see the vision

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I very much do agree that Sheila and Fugo banter/argue quite a bit as enrichment, but I don't believe it's because either of them is argumentative by nature.

In Sheila's case, I think she sometimes pushes buttons to test boundaries and as a way to reassess if the trust she bears for the person is deserved AKA if they don't go off on her, belittle her, respect when she distances herself and walks away etc. She's also equally stubborn about the things she's right about and about the things she's wrong about, and unless it's a matter that strikes a personal note, she never cares either way, it's not a competition to her. If she's right, then she was always right, if she's wrong, she will literally just walk away and move on with her life, much to the fury of whoever she's been unintentionally ragebaiting for the past 10 minutes. I wouldn't necessarily call her contrarian for the sake of it, but her general strategy for petty arguments is to be purely reactionary and disagreeing with what the other person says and then standing her ground no matter what, with virtually no stakes in the game. Ultimately, for her it's a means of enrichment and Quality Time together, unbeknownst to whoever decides to engage with her with the intent of proving her wrong or changing her mind.

As for Fugo, I don't think he ever really starts playful arguments and his attempts at banter are subpar. He engages with everything genuinely (unless he has an exceptionally playful day and shamelessly shoots those subpar attempts at banter), which means he's, at the core, just trying to help and/or get the record straight rather than come out on top. He's quite ragebaitable, however, except he's got the spine of an invertebrate and will drop the issue if the other party walks off (figuratively or literally) or if they disapprovingly comment on him taking it too seriously, then he gets embarrassed and walks off himself. The way he finds himself in spats is that he either says something factually incorrect (more often than he's given credit for) or when he wants to politely inform that he doesn't think what someone else has said is the case. Either way, he's losing against Sheila.

All this to say, I think their banter stands on Sheila enjoying having someone who's willing to engage her as she wishes but will fold the moment she's bored or wants to move on to something else, and Fugo I think enjoys the fact Sheila's not afraid to poke fun at him or challenge him on stuff because it makes him feel normal and secure in being allowed to be wrong and petty and annoyed and preening from pride in the one in a million instance where he's right and she lets him have it.

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I think Voodoo Child being an anthropomorphic Stand can be read into in many totally valid ways, however personally I don't read it as Sheila being a furry because:

There's a lot of other funky ways to explain it. Anthro animals have been present in human cultures in many, often symbolic, ways, so Voodoo taking the form of a tracker animal would fit perfectly for its ability of tracking down people's secrets. Or, to get into my Sheila lore a tiny bit, Voodoo Child summoning in order to protect her and be her guardian and companion and a friend in a cruel world, it would make sense for it to resemble an animal since Sheila has had a very close bond with her dog as a kid and so her subconsciousness giving Voodoo a partly animal form would also fit, as a symbol of trust of sorts 

Someone's soul taking on a form of an animal, even if partway, sounds more otherkin to me than furry tbh

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Just some Foog

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Since it was Valentine's, I decided to indulge

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I love the car scene in PHF before Sheila kicks Fugo out, both in terms of the development of their relationship but also as a highlight of the tragedy that comes with Sheila's character, because it's the first proper time we see someone witness and acknowledge her pain and trauma, as well as her being so vulnerable. Prior to this, Sheila's this sort of reliable, highly capable person who, although her having issues is noticed by people, isn't really reached out to, both because she wouldn't accept help if it didn't come from her own initiative most likely and also because everyone else is preoccupied with the trauma of canon events.

Fugo's no exceptions to this, being extremely worried about Himself and the FutureTM in that scene until Sheila starts opening up, but seeing Sheila be vulnerable and unravel the trauma that's been hiding in plain sight that he and everyone else could afford to not pay that much mind to – since Sheila has been functional and reliable as always, creating this illusion of Being Okay on her own – made him recognize that he's not the only one suffering and struggling, and him locking in to come after her and commit to killing Volpe, from a purely from a characterization perspective, shows a degree of selflessness, compassion and empathy that I very much connect with Fugo (because of the anime) but that's also missing in his PHF characterization but that's a post for another day—

Point is, I adore that scene, because I feel like it's an in-universe escalation of what a lot of readers are also guilty of, which is ignoring Sheila's trauma and pain. Fugo, as well as the readers, can no longer ignore it, and it helps Fugo find a direction to move towards – help someone in their suffering by trying to prevent it from getting greater. Wonderful.

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When I say Sheila is chill and down to Earth, what I want you to imagine is that the things she deems important and cares about are very often diametrically different from what most people do, which, combined with low cognitive and affective empathy, means that unless it's something she personally cares about or knows first hand, she won't understand what the fuss is about and will be quite open about it and act unbothered and nonchalant. Especially if the issue has a simple, straight-forward solution in her head, which interpersonal and emotional issues rarely do, but she still tries to apply this principle there like trying to stuff a block into a circle hole.

I know we don't much of this sort of attitude in terms of interpersonal relationships and more mundane situations in phf, since Sheila's in a VERY fucking weird place in her life during the book and the book does only cover the mission the phf trio is sent to, but I think even the moments like her, without hesitation or stopping to think if there could be a key, using Voodoo Child to kick the door open or sinking the yacht with a rock after Murolo expresses concern about someone finding it count as demonstration that 1. Sheila's always looking for the most straight-forward, hands-on solution, 2. she has a very specific way of thinking that no one around her can quite match, 3. she doesn't care if anyone follows or not, she just does things and moves on immediately.

It's like if you came to a doctor and said: “It hurts when I do this,” and the doctor said: “Then don't do that. Bye.” That's Sheila to me when someone comes to her with a problem that's completely intangible to her.

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E-go is such a fun ship to me because, if it wasn't for the community of people around them, they would've already broken up 10 times over because Sheila's instinctual thought upon being faced with a moderate relationship issue is to break up even if she doesn't actually want to, and Fugo approaches every crisis with the goal of ANNIHILATING the issue by any means necessary but gets so caught up in anxiety and overthinking and second guessing himself that it ends up looking like an anxious puppy reminding its owner that it's there by constantly pawning at their leg rather than constructive problem solving (which mixes horribly with Sheila’s avoidant tendencies and need for space), and all of this is underlined by this mutual sentiment where they both would rather break up than risk causing prolonged suffering to the other because each of them is aware that they ultimately have no idea how the fuck relationships actually work and worry it might end up hurting someone. They're trying really hard at this relationship thing and them failing constantly is the epitome of their effort.

(Mista saved them from like 5 impulse break-ups and subsequent re-getting together, though, he's essential to guiding their opposing communication styles at times)

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A very minor nitpick but the fact Sheila E is Giorno’s personal guard is kinda silly bc I’m not sure Giorno NEEDS one, thanks to GER. Which makes me think that once Giorno became the don, learned abt her and her whole situation where she now has no direction in life and doesn’t know what to do with herself now that Illuso’s dead, he let her stick around as a personal guard with the intention of nudging her in the right direction once a good opportunity presents itself.

Which invites the question of what would he have her do post-phf, bc she’s once again quite aimless and lost in life, but now he doesn’t have the power to help her in that direction. So I think he would just tell her that she can stay until she makes up her mind abt if she wants to leave/if she’s ready to take up some other position in Passione or some secret third option. Which is also what I think Giorno did with Fugo for the record, like let them catch their breath and make up their mind abt where they want to take their lives.