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Open up your mind

Open up your heart

And let the words come out of your mouth

Tell me the truth

Tell me your emotions

And tell me how things will be

If, and I hope, that time will come

Where it will be you and me.

Why do people fall so easily?

#thoughts

Why do you keep tolerating the pain you feel when your heart twitches, making you writhe in silence within? For every negativity you think in your life that happens - facing a simple rejection such as a yes or a no, not being given the proper attention or being ignored, having unreciprocated affection, or maybe even falling down after your expectations are not met - you feel that small but painful sensation in your chest. The worst part is when you actually think you are already happy, the one thing or person giving you that joy makes even the smallest action that shatters your world that you just want to cry and break down and leave the world behind. The minute pain never stops. It never will.

#lit #051917

Time to go back to the old ways!

I guess it's time that I try going back to writing. I realized that whenever I get outbursts of emotions, I lash out on people and appear to be bitchy and rude. Maybe the pain and the happiness could be more contained if I do this again, sealing part and parcels of my emotions to the lines I create.

One Night

One night We met, in a blink of an eye Through letters and numbers and codes In a different world Not through first sight, nor through sound of the voice, no; But through letters and numbers and codes.

One night Such letters and numbers and codes Partially came to life As we got to share stories of life and love And of happiness and failures. You looked stunning, as you took my breath away With how beautiful, the way you looked and the way you are You had the innocence and playfulness that I admired Made me smile, thought that it's good, I found someone. And in that moment What was once in doubt, was partially in truth Looked forward to that night The one that's next, the one that's new.

One night We decided to finally put into life Our virtual voices As well as our intangible presence For that night was full of sadness Of happiness, of new experiences We shared a bond sealed with contact Two kinds of such, both from touch. And though, we must admit, things were going fast I thought I was sure of what I felt To get much deeper, to strengthen what we had.

One night Oh, this one night. As things were usually the same (Or so I thought they were) You told me some words I never wanted to read Nor think nor speak of nor hear As bit by bit my world was crumbling As bit by bit my heart was aching. Confused, as you were, as I am to all else I accepted my fate, or so I thought I did.

One night This one night I just did not want to leave I kept trying to push myself back to you Since I thought I still had hope, and in which you gave more, too Yet things are confusing, still so unsure For things that were before are not anymore the same And though I did not want to keep expecting It's hard to not to Because if you like someone as much You give back some of yours, too But maybe now I'm just too blinded Too preoccupied, too frightened to lose you Although I am hurting, I still want to be with you.

One night Maybe, one night I can finally make up my mind To have my thoughts as clear And to decide for what is right I do not want to lose you But it seems it's fine if you do to me For now I can still bear some pain Still hoping Still holding That soon, you might answer my questions that drive me insane.

Because if you stay, I will be happy And I will do my best to make you the same;

But if you leave and break me I will accept the fate, let time heal, and wait for things to be back that to the good old days.

#R #Huhu #Lit #Literature #Poetry #Feelings #Emotions #020317 #Pls #Love #Poem #Confusion

Here’s the thing about me in relationships: I give up so much, and I don’t get the same in return. I know people say that if one loves something or someone, it doesn’t matter how much one gives as long as it’s of his pure intentions and it’s from the heart. But heck, I can’t avoid the fact that even so, I would still feel a bit sad and disappointed to not get something as good in return. I mean, isn’t it implied that when you like someone, you gotta at least show some effort and love? And the thing I’m asking for in return is not even that difficult to give - time, attention, and effort. I give all of them, and even material things, as much as I could; and maybe that is where my fault is, right? I keep on giving so much of me that I forget about myself. I keep on giving without even thinking that maybe I could get hurt. Or maybe I know I could get hurt, but it’s okay at first. Constantly repeating the same actions, however, changes things. his is why my friends keep scolding me, telling me to think about myself first, to not give up so much because in the end I always get hurt.

Sobrang tanga ko naman, no? Bigay ng bigay kasi sobrang lulong sa “pag-ibig” na nakakalimutan na yung sarili hanggang sa masaktan. Sa una, ginugusto. Pero sa kalaunan, masasaktan. Mali, diba? Pero kasi, mahirap ba humiling ng isang bagay na kahit sinong taong nasa isang relasyon, ay gugustuhing magkaroon? Nakakapagod na din minsan. Hindi ko na lang talaga alam.

I get it: this world throws so much things to someone - academics, stress, physical and mental breakdowns, etc. - at some point in time, almost always altogether. It’s difficult to prioritize which to do first, especially if too much has already been happening. See, “that’s life,” they say. It’s the same routine everyday: wake up, go to school or to work, go back home, and then sleep. From the simplicity of how life was before, everything has changed.

People get too preoccupied with things that they tend to forget that they have a life, and this “life” I refer to does not mean being stuck in the same cycle every single day. Life is about going out there and living the dream. Life is about doing whatever one loves or what one has his or her passion for. Life is about going on adventures alone, either big or small, and appreciating the beauty this world has to offer. Life is about spending time with loved ones and enjoying moments together. Life is opening up new possibilities, exploring new pathways, and taking risks. Life is so much more than sitting in front of the screen and scrolling through phones.

I understand that in this world, one has to work to survive and get through every single day. But there is so much more waiting out there. My point is: it’s not always about being restricted and limited. People only have one life and time runs so fast they don’t even notice it. The problem is that people fail to grab opportunities when it’s already in front of them. So here’s something to always remember: take a break every once in a while, breathe, and when given the chance to get out there, grab it - because the opportunities one fails to seize will only result to regret.

florasdiary

#so nice :c

I’m frustrated - academically.

I see two major problems which hinder me from achieving my goals in school: laziness and lack of motivation. I want to get high marks in school, learn so much, do great. But I just lack the will to study. I learn a lot inside of the classroom, but only a few go with me once I step out of the room. Typically, I should research more and read more in order to fully understand what were just taught to me. But I just...don’t. I’m not sure where it comes from, maybe because I’m too lazy. I also don’t know where this laziness comes from. Maybe it’s because I get tired from all the stress and pressure all subjects require us to do or to give? I’m not quite sure.

I see that the way to overcome my laziness, however, is that if I just get the right push to go further and aim high. But I just don’t get that much motivated. I have my visions and goals, but I’m not convinced they are enough. Sometimes, when I see news articles about students garnering awards and getting praises because of their academic accomplishments, I get motivated. But that motivation is only temporary. I don’t know what I want or more especially what I need in order to aim higher. But I know that if I have the right motivation to do so, I could overcome my laziness and do more.

As I write this down, though, I have observed something. I have a lot of “I don’t knows.” I don’t have a clear path of what I am doing, if what I am doing is right. Eventually what the right thing to do for myself might appear, but right now, I’m just a bit frustrated and also a bit angry with myself for not doing better.

#Diary #091915 #Frustrated #Academics #School #College

Tired.

I'm so tired physically. I don't know, I feel drained. I've been stuck here inside my house for the past three or so months, doing nothing but eat, sleep, workout in my room some days, and scroll through my phone endlessly with a minimum of 5 hours. What the hell? I mean if I feel so tired now, how mch more would it be when classes begin on the 24th? Emotionally, though...hmm. I'm not tired emotionally, it's just that sometimes I feel as if I'm alone. It gets tiring, too, when I'm the one who tries to start a convo to some friends most of the time (saying always may be an exaggeration, but maybe it's the right term) just to make myself be noticed by them. Well, whatever. I'm just looking forward on my birthday next week, hoping that something nice would happen since it would be my 18th. Being 18 for me is a big deal because I get to be legal and I won't be considered a kid or any normal teenager anymore but someone who is already in adulthood, and at the same time it isn't a big deal because I just get to age another year. Just hoping for the best.

#081515 #Diary #Zz #FINALLY A POST

It's not too late for tea, right?

#:)#Photography #Tea #071115

Do you know what nakakaputangina is? It’s when people entertain you and make you feel as if you’re safe and in good hands, and then out of nowhere, without any fucking explanation or whatever, they decide to leave you. They don’t say anything. You try to talk to them, ask them what you did wrong. But to no avail, they act like as if you never existed at all. And then you’re left clueless, hopeless, broken. Being left without reason? Nakakaputangina.

#pft

I have my own opinion regarding people who find love online. When it comes to things like this, it’s either this kind of relationship exists for a long time or a short time only. If you decide to like each other, do not put a label. Do not commit to be boyfriends and girlfriends or whatever. Fine, MU. Be committed when you’ve gone out for a few dates or so already. Remember, people are different online and in person. You can like each other, okay, but put it to that point first.

#Opinion #Hehe #Oh well

I hate those moments when I feel as if my brain isn't functioning properly anymore. Like I don't know what to think, I don't know what to say, I don't know how to express my thoughts and feelings. Having all these things inside of my head is just so difficult, and the way I could get to release all these mixed emotions and thoughts is that if I could organize them and put them into actions. I want to clear my mind and know what the right thing to do is. But for some reason, something's holding me back. I do not know what it is, but it's hard to do so.

#Thoughts #Sigh #071015

It's 3:52 in the afternoon and my heart is still beating fast. I had one of the strangest dreams ever. This was strange because it seemed real, which wasn't like any of my other dreams before. So I slept around 2:25 in the afternoon, woke up 3:01 pm and I dreamt about nothing. I just had to pee lol. Then I went back to sleep. So the dream began. It was nighttime, inside our house. We were all downstairs, eating some food like mangoes, we were laughing, making jokes, etc. It was raining and the wind outside was apparent, like you would know it was windy. Then my cousin and I went to the screened door to look outside. We were just talking when we suddenly noticed that the wind got a bit stronger. And then we heard this faint screeching from afar, but we were just like meh. Then every minute that passed by, the wind got stronger. The screeching began to get really loud that we covered our eyes and ears, and that the electricity of the whole neighborhood went down. I was already on the floor, in pain, and there was still screeching. The wind was already so furious that it ripped one part of our house. I didn't care and only looked because I was in pain, my head was aching and all. I was shouting, kicking, crying. My family was doing the same thing. It hurt my head really bad. Then suddenly, screeching slowly began to disappear. The wind followed. I was blinking really slow and was trying to gain consciousness. When I decided to sit up, everything was in slow motion. It was as if I heard nothing, then I felt something come out of my right ear. Blood started to run down from it. It was so weird becaus I felt it as if it was real. I cried and yelled for help. I could hear but it was distorted, but the blood was red and yellow and it was just disgusting. I called my dad, who came near me and gave me this cloth and my mom also came. Then I woke up. Now, to be honest, I got surprised when I woke up because I thought I wasn't dreaming. Everything felt so real. It was so scary. I don't want to have that anymore. :(

#Diary #Personal #Dream #070815

I am known by my friends to be someone who loves to hang out with them, who likes to joke around and make them laugh. But there are times when I just want to be alone. There are times when I just want to sit and look at my life and see where I am now. I'm not always fun and games. Just because I appear to be someone who likes to joke around, it doesn't mean that I don't want to be taken seriously.

#Thoughts #070615

You made me smile You made me laugh You made me cry when I turned on the lamp I waited for your messages I waited for your calls For they made me warm in those cold evenings You wrote with mystery And sketched with grace Such hands I’d hold like they’re your embrace

But then your hand turned cold And was breaking free from mine As if telling me I do not have anything anymore to hold Autumn came And the leaves fell down from the trees It was beautiful, yet it was sad The ship never sailed And we never crashed But the pain in my heart was like shattered glass

It’s been some time since the day My tears dried from my face And now I’ve gone to search again But I don’t know why it seems Until now your face haunts me Beautiful, amazing, and crafted by the gods above Right now maybe you have moved on And are smiling with someone else But as much as I hate to admit to myself To the world, as well as everyone else That although you’ve reached your spring and your flowers bloom I’m still stuck in winter - wanting to hold you again

#Heartbreak #070615 #Love #Poetry #Poem #Lit #Literature

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