EkeOtuken

Kelsey writes things down

[ekeotuken]

Today's shenanigans:

Jesse took eggs out of the fridge to make breakfast sandwiches.

Forgot he took eggs out of the fridge..

Looked in the fridge couldn't find eggs so decided we were out.

Went to the store to buy eggs.

Came home. Opened the carton we already had and said "there's 4 eggs missing from the eggs I just bought"

Had a whole conversation about not looking in the eggs carton before buying eggs.. (who doesnt open the egg carton?!)

Then realized those were eggs we already had... and the new ones were still in the grocery bag.

[ekeotuken]

I make earrings. Check out my Instagram @panthera.tigris.tigris.co for my shop.

[ekeotuken]

Highschool creative writing class

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items - written sometime between 2002 and 2006).

Eagles Soar

I was standing about a hundred steps back from the edge of the cliff, staring off into the distance. It was a beautiful sight to be this high up. The sky was powder blue with cotton ball clouds forming pictures floating by. The sun was a warm sphere of orange hanging in the air, as if by a string. It was as though I could reach out, and with a quick snip of a pair of scissors, the sun would fall to the earth and shatter into a million pieces, like a Christmas ornament, sending glass splinters shattered across the land. I had an eagle's eye view of everything around me. Far below, a river ran between the mountain sides deep in the valley. I could hear the gentle trickle of the running water and the birds squawking in delight at the fish swimming near the surface. I could imagine the feel of the cool water splashing my burning skin, though it was hundreds of meters below. The scenery: the trees, of beautiful emerald green reaching up, stretching to touch the sky. And the wild elk roaming freely about; how I longed too be free, and not have any cares in the world. How I longed to be like that elk. It was all like something out of a painting. It was as though something that beautiful could not exist in the real world... And here I was, like a freckle on this great face of beauty.

I could visualize myself running, full speed to the edge of the cliff - running right off the cliff toward the valley below. My legs still going through the same motions, only there would be no hard ground under them, no stable place for my feet to stand. I was diving through the blue sky. I could almost feel what it would feel like to be falling through the air at such great speeds. The feeling of weightlessness, like nothing else I have ever felt before. Like I could not catch my breath, as deep as I breathed. I could almost imagine all of this happening. But then, I open my eyes and I am brought back to the beauty of my surroundings, back to reality.

There was another reason I was here though, at this spot, staring off the cliff. I was not here to feel the cool water splash against my skin or to enjoy the sweet melodies of the birds. I had come back here, to this spot. The same spot that my brother took his life. Only weeks ago, he ran full speed right off the edge of the cliff, allowing his body to fall to the ground like a feather; fluttering. coming to a rest on the soft earth below. A rest for all eternity. How badly I wanted to shake him awake, and for him to open his eyes so I could tell him how much I love him. So badly I wanted to ask him, how it feels to be free... To soar above the world like the eagle, without anything holding him down.

[ekeotuken]

I make cards

[ekeotuken]

Things I didn’t particularly like in 2012 - A list

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items)

cotton balls/ Q-tips

Snow (especially walking on it)

Breaking hearts

Cold feet

Being late for things

Shopping for jeans

Driving in the winter

Obnoxious facial piercings

Talking on the phone

People who don't appreciate what they have

folding fitted sheets (2021 update: I have since mastered this skill!)

Insomnia

Being sick

Mushrooms (the food)

[ekeotuken]

Things I liked in 2012 - A list

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items)

Feathers

Light rain

Chick flicks

Nature (anything "earthy")

Art/stationary supplies

Tattoos/tattoo art

Anchors

2-finger rings

Converse shoes

Chocolate milk

Owls

Dollar stores

Thrift stores

Muscle cars

Hot showers after a long day

Foxes

Buying cute underwear

Cuddling: AKA strong man arms

Snowboarding

Tree house homes

Dream catchers

Flying in airplanes

Zebra stripes

Leopard spots

Bicycles

Aquariums

Barefeet

All types of birds

Antique furniture

Amusement parks

The colors white and green

Camping

Old cameras

[ekeotuken]

Highschool poetry

Coming in July

Dusk falls To dreams of shooting stars Memories of august winds     Mother Natures     Bitter Darkness A butterfly in flight Available at night     Look!     Our Lady... Simply a dream Of mosaic seduction.

[ekeotuken]

May 24, 2020

A 2020 Journal Update:

May 24th Rode bikes for mini donuts

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This is the drawing line

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items - written in 2013)

This is the drawing line Finger on the trigger time.

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Promises

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items - written in 2019)

That crisp fall air brought promises of new beginnings. 

[ekeotuken]

2012 poem

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items)

Outside - It's storming It's heartwarming To know that sometimes The earth feels as sad As I do.

[ekeotuken]

A fascinating story

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items - written 2020)

Breathe with your heart Feel the rhythm Running away from you How the body speaks A fascinating story

Something that has evolved over thousands of years

[ekeotuken]

Feb 2020

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items)

JOURNAL UPDATES:

Feb 7th Get off night shift Sleep 3x hours Starbucks caffeine drinks Drive to Fernie alone in a 2 door Honda civic in a snowstorm Mountain roads in the dark

Feb 8th Snowboard Fernie all day That last run with Rand and Ryan was a mistake Taxi driver told us how he "shit himself twice before coming to get us" (Thanks for the update taxi driver.)

Feb 9th Drive Fernie to Calgary Mountain goats Legit almost ran out of gas

[ekeotuken]

Sometimes I make really intricate hand colored. hand cut (so tedious). Paper things.

[ekeotuken]

Tears of our mother

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items - written 2019)

It seems fitting In this time of drought That today The rain would come The tears of our mother Cascading the earth For her child Lost. Wipe those tears You'll find your way

[ekeotuken]

I wish I was bold

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items - written July 2012)

I wish I was bold...strong...beautiful. I wish I had the courage to say how I feel. To not let people and opportunities slip away because I lack the self confidence. I want to ask a stranger out, I want to make new friends, I want to be honest... Instead of just polite and nice. I'm tired of wondering "what if" - I'm tired of seeing attractive men and immediately assuming they are out of my league, or that they will think I am weird, or the situation is awkward if I were to approach them. I'm tired of telling people "It's okay" and "I don't mind" when they let me down, or hurt me ... again. I want to be a strong, confident woman. I want to believe that I am beautiful. I don't know how to get from where I am now to that place where I can be comfortable in my own skin, where I am the best and strongest and most honest/real version of myself.

[ekeotuken]

Facts - A list from 2012

(I recently went through old journals from the past 15 years and pulled some content out to share - this is one of those items)

I've never broken a bone

I still fit kid sized shoes

As a child I always said I wanted to be a gypsy "when I grew up"

I value the lives of animals equal to those of people

I owned a purple (1996) Ford mustang

I collect dream catchers, old cameras, and teapots (Update 2021: I no longer collect dream catchers, or teapots).

I have never been fired from a job

I don't like cake or ice cream - I always have pie for my birthdays

My greatest fear in life is disappointing people - especially my parents (Update 2021: ...And elevators).

I always keep a lighter with me

I love driving (especially barefoot)

I once had a schizophrenic homeless man accuse me of trying to blow up the world

I didn't have my first drink of alcohol until I was 23 years old