Depraved Dame

I write kinky, intense romantic smut as well as bone crushing angst. Find me on bluesky etc. https://depraveddame.carrd.co/

[depraveddame]

It started off as an innocent enough conversation— just an offhand comment about being broke while absentmindedly chatting on the bench by the pond behind the church. The recent unseasonable warmth meant they were able to continue their recurring conversations here well into the end of November, which Crowley was likely a little too glad of.

Vine Slips of a Strange God is a Good Omens AU featuring priest Aziraphale and gardener Crowley— part one is complete at 185k, and part two, Bring Your Seed to Blossom, is complete at 150k. Both feature incredible SFW & NSFW illustrations (including this one!) by the incomparable @zivilzz. Featuring a ton of kink, smut, angst, romance, and healing. More info below ⤵

When the gardener Crowley offhandedly mentions that his career isn’t fruitful, Father Aziraphale Fell offers to help him. Crowley jokingly mentions the concept of ‘sugaring’ to the priest, assuming he’d have no idea what that meant, but Father Fell is full of many surprises.

Main Tags for part one: Human AU, Priest AU, Slow Burn, Smut, Angst, Romance, Inner Dialogues, BDSM, D/s, Sugar Daddy/sugar baby, Religion, Sacrilege and Blasphemy Kink, Daddy Kink, Kink in general (so much kink, so many kinks), Trauma, Traumatic/abusive pasts, PTSD, Anxiety

I dearly hope you enjoy, sinners 🥀📿

[depraveddame]

Anyway I think one of the funniest things to come out of the go3 discourse these last few days is that literary genres are irrelevant and don’t matter, actually

My bad! I didn’t realize that the tried and true practice of sorting media into their corresponding genres was fake news, but thanks for the update!

I’m tired

[depraveddame]

throwback forward thursday ✨

Thank you for tagging me @quitequaintrelle! 💖

Post the first lines from your current wips (or your favorite lines, whatever floats your boat! everything's made up and the points don't matter!!) and let your followers vote on which lines intrigue or excite them the most.

I picked 4 out of a currently unknown number of wips 🫠

WIP 1 ✨ It’s not the first time Crowley has pinned him to a wall, and Aziraphale is keen not to waste this second chance. He slides a thigh between Crowley’s own, long and quivering and tense but eagerly opening, obedient. Shameless. Spreading for him like they’re meant for nothing and no one else.

WIP 2 ✨ Aziraphale is stunned by it, dazzled by the depth of feeling not only for the omega he adores but for their alpha, too. The newborn, starstrewn affection flaring in his chest amongst the nebula of his love for Crowley bringing even more light where for so long there had only been a lonely and empty dark.

WIP 3 ✨ A low, groaning creak of centuries-old wood ending in a hushed thud announced its closing; all went still, the quiet stretched on, and the priest was no longer alone in his church. 

WIP 4 ✨ “And hopefully that prat Gabriel’s not been lurking around, has he? Smug face looking like it’s about to burst at the smug seams with some urgent message from on High?” 

“No, thank fuck— haven’t seen him in almost a century. Too busy being the prat of all prats elsewhere, I s’pose.”

“I’d expect no less,” Lucifer replies with a wry grin. 

which of these snippets from my wips titillates you the most?

WIP 1

WIP 2

WIP 3

WIP 4

Remaining time: 20 hours 55 minutes

no pressure tagging: @the-oxrib-and-oyster, @slurpi13, @ehizellbob, @noondarkduke, @firelikestars, @cheeseplants, @littleweezel and anyone else who wants to play 🫶🏻

[depraveddame]

throwback forward thursday ✨

Thank you for tagging me @quitequaintrelle! 💖

Post the first lines from your current wips (or your favorite lines, whatever floats your boat! everything's made up and the points don't matter!!) and let your followers vote on which lines intrigue or excite them the most.

I picked 4 out of a currently unknown number of wips 🫠

WIP 1 ✨ It’s not the first time Crowley has pinned him to a wall, and Aziraphale is keen not to waste this second chance. He slides a thigh between Crowley’s own, long and quivering and tense but eagerly opening, obedient. Shameless. Spreading for him like they’re meant for nothing and no one else.

WIP 2 ✨ Aziraphale is stunned by it, dazzled by the depth of feeling not only for the omega he adores but for their alpha, too. The newborn, starstrewn affection flaring in his chest amongst the nebula of his love for Crowley bringing even more light where for so long there had only been a lonely and empty dark.

WIP 3 ✨ A low, groaning creak of centuries-old wood ending in a hushed thud announced its closing; all went still, the quiet stretched on, and the priest was no longer alone in his church. 

WIP 4 ✨ “And hopefully that prat Gabriel’s not been lurking around, has he? Smug face looking like it’s about to burst at the smug seams with some urgent message from on High?” 

“No, thank fuck— haven’t seen him in almost a century. Too busy being the prat of all prats elsewhere, I s’pose.”

“I’d expect no less,” Lucifer replies with a wry grin. 

which of these snippets from my wips titillates you the most?

WIP 1

WIP 2

WIP 3

WIP 4

Remaining time: 20 hours 55 minutes

no pressure tagging: @the-oxrib-and-oyster, @slurpi13, @ehizellbob, @noondarkduke, @firelikestars, @cheeseplants, @littleweezel and anyone else who wants to play 🫶🏻

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

the thing...the thing is that...the part that really gets me...

It's that Crowley fell out of love with Aziraphale, I don't know how else I'm supposed to read this characterization I saw on my television screen.

It's part of the just complete thrashing Aziraphale receives in the finale for no fucking reason, but Crowley absolutely does not care to give Aziraphale one fucking inch of compassion or understanding. Even when Aziraphale is asking for it, openly. Standing to the side while God tears Aziraphale to shreds, looking on at it smugly like you seriously want me to believe there is a universe in which Crowley would find satisfaction in Aziraphale being hurt. What The Absolute Fuck.

And then the dream that Crowley has been holding onto for the longest time in the narrative, 'Our Side, A Group of the Two of Us, We'll run away together, We Could have been Us.' is just thrown away.

Crowley gave up on that dream, he was the one in the end to give up on them - which is endlessly ironic given how that's what Aziraphale has been accused of in this fandom since the s2 finale - and asks Aziraphale to give up on it too (for nothing)

And then he sees Aziraphale crying, and see's Aziraphale swallow his words and his pain and you're telling me Crowley isn't interested to hear what Aziraphale is really thinking or feeling at all?

You want me to believe there is a world in which Crowley isn't devastated that Aziraphale is too afraid to say something to him? Of all people?

And frankly, I just don't buy it, I refuse it patently, there is simply no way that Crowley falls out of love with Aziraphale after 6000 years because they had an argument and he got his feelings hurt.

Aziraphale didn't do anything to deserve this treatment from him, he's being a fucking prick, withholding affection and love and forgiveness from someone because they 'wronged you' instead of talking about it is fucking toxic. There is simply no way, that destroys the finales legitimacy in one fell swoop, done deal. That's not Crowley.

[obligateweirdo]

Yeah, so much for that “unbreakable line,” I guess, hunh.

Depression can do that, and Crowley is depicted as severely depressed, but what he needs is inpatient treatment, not to be tasked with the fate of the universe.

Besides, he isn’t human. (I know at its base the story is about humanity, because ALL stories told by humans are about humanity, but their eldritch nature throws humanity into sharp relief.) A few years must seem like an eyeblink to him. Maybe it did. Maybe his three-year bender was like one drinking binge to a human (to which we may be entitled after a bad breakup).

Maybe he needed a century-long nap and would have waked up feeling more himself. I would think beings designed for immortality would be resistant to crippling depression.

And here I go, trying to rationalize all the terrible choices of the finale. But it’s the main reason I can’t rewatch GO3–to see Crowley not even react to Aziraphale with a tiny reflex start of recognition, and to watch everyone take a crack at Aziraphale without acknowledging that he tried, he really tried; that he loved Crowley and was loved in return.

What’s the good of eternal love that isn’t eternal, or of “finding each other in every life, in every universe” if they’re just going to end up broken?*

*I randomly watched a movie last night called Timestalker. It’s B- at best, but it demonstrates very clearly how unrequited love through many incarnations is another form of Hell.

[masnadies]

I don't know what to write.

Crowley wasn't himself because his optimism died after the apocalypse, and he got depressed. And can he even use anti-depressants? And he wasn't himself, and so he couldn't really reconcile with Aziraphale, who had also had a horrible 3 years of trying to save Crowley and the world. The depression makes the whole thing messed up. Because yes depression can do these things and worse to you. But it means there was no solution. I've had depression on and off in my life, I know many of its tricks, but it tricks us all differently, so it's hard to say why it feels so off to me. I've also had anxiety and been told I wasn't good enough and tried to hold things together for too long by myself and fallen apart in the end when I knew I could never be good enough for the people I cared about. The only way for Crowley to heal was for him to believe that Aziraphale was truly living for him, but depression made that impossible, and the only way for Aziraphale to heal was for Crowley to finally say that Aziraphale was good enough for him and he loved him. We were supposed to read catch-22 (which you should. Your library will have a copy. Read it next. It was my favourite book as a teen), but this isn't what I wanted us to get out of it. Something with time. Something with Milo Minderbinder? Something with loyalty oaths would have been amazing! I have hated them since I read that and for an American, that's quite a breakthrough. Not this. This isn't how it was supposed to end.

[5thhorsemnftheapocalypse]

Did the writers of GOS3 forget that the reason queer people enjoy fantasy is to escape to a world where we don’t have to deal with all the shit we do and retreat into a world of something bigger. Especially a fantasy like good omens where every single person is unapologetically queer without need for explanation. Yeah go ahead and destroy that universe, have the characters kill themselves for our universe, which is supposed to be so much better?

[miseria-fortes-viros]

your weird obsession with moral purity is degrading your critical thinking skills and poisoning your ability to empathize with other people btw

[iforgiveyouprime]

Absolutely. I don't even have anything to add. The story ended up becoming exactly what it had been mocking all these years. LMAO.

[itsineffhazbinle]

Book/s1: the apocalypse is averted by 4 kids+dog, a witch, her himbo bf, a witch hunter and his seer fiancé. A couple of ethereal/occult dumbasses give a hand while looking cute in the background. s3: the apocalypse is real and ineluctable, only supernatural beings are left in the end, discussing very sophisticated themes in the most ham fisted way possible. Everything is suddenly so serious but the writers don't have the skills to deal with that. YMMV.

[depraveddame]

Chapter 7 of The Rock of Your Refuge has been posted ✨

| tags | Crowley POV, Dreams/Flashbacks, Self Reflection, Growth, Hope, Healing, Forgiveness, Bravery, Leaps of Faith, One Year Later, Reunions |

| summary |

Crowley dreams of his father after a night filled with the impossible and the unthinkable. Newly armed with a reborn hope and the tender uncertainty of accepting that he might not be as broken as he thought, and that it might not be too late, Crowley leaves Lucius’ home and sets out to reclaim what he dearly hopes he’s not lost for good.

| excerpt |

Exactly 365 days earlier, Crowley had walked into this church carrying garlands of pine and cedar, an aching heart full of joyous birds and so much fluttering, newborn hope he’d nearly floated with it.

He had no greenery with him now, and his flock had fled— his cardial cardinals gone along with the starlings and hummingbirds and sparrows and sweet doves and all the rest— but the hope was back, and Crowley clung to it like he’d clung to a trembling Aziraphale in the confessional that first December night.

While his left hand still clutched the tiny cross inside his pocket, he curled his right around the chilled, brass handle of the door, and pushed.

The Rock of Your Refuge - Chapter 7 - depraveddame - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

[depraveddame]

I’ve been hearing this in my head since May 13th 4:30am EST so now everyone else has to as well lol

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

Ya know what, I feel really compelled to say this, bombs away;

I really really don't care for the way people who are critical of the finale are treated in the main populated spaces of the Good Omens fandom. and that's why I'm not there.

If you want to play on that side of the sandbox, if you want to get out the board and the red strings and try to manufacture, from absolutely nothing but hopes and dreams, a happy ending for characters we know are dead, then more power to you, have fun.

But don't be surprised and angry when we don't want to do that, and don't act as if that your theories are the end all be all and if anyone dares to not eat it, demand they we leave the space because we're too negative, that's not cool.

On top of that, if you choose to butt into a conversation where people are critical of the finale and fan theories and that bursts your bubble, its also not cool to go and paint anyone critical of the finale as bullies.

Especially when :) there is a not insubstantial amount of people :) just straight up do bully people upon any hint that they aren't on 'your side.'

Making hateful illustrations, telling people to just 'shut up and enjoy it already', putting people critical of the finale in the same category as bigots.

In another life we could have all been friends, it just makes me really sad.

[depraveddame]

It’s honestly unacceptable. The way the go3 haters and doubters have been villainized by defenders is sickening and the double standards as well as hypocrisy is alarming. It is concerning to see such gleeful othering and judging going on in the name of “positivity”.

Also I’m sorry but I have ZERO patience for the self appointed peacekeepers. While I recognize their intentions come from a good place, I’m not going to willfully mend bridges with folks who think people like me, who find the finale to be harmful and insulting and hopeless, are short sighted immature illiterate idiots just choosing to be unhappy.

The fake empathy of so many finale lovers on various platforms is chilling, as are their bait posts and melodramatic comments crying about how tired they are. SO sorry to inconvenience y’all with our emotions— I realize that’s an unbearable and impossible burden for those incapable of kindness towards others who don’t share their opinions at the worst of times.

But I’m not leaving this fandom. This story and these characters— the real versions— mean everything to me, and the friends I’ve met and made through them mean everything, too. I think the most aggressive finale lovers hope the haters will fade away, and I really hope we don’t, even though it’s so hard some days to exist in this fandom. We deserve to take up space. We love these characters so, so much, they’re ours— no one can take them away no matter how much anyone whines and cries and accuses and browbeats.

[depraveddame]

still here still loathe go3 and still loathe asanthony 👍🏻

[depraveddame]

last 10 fan fics: a writer meme

rules: post the first sentence of your most recent 10 fan fics and tag up to 10 people. thanks so much for the tag @addledmongoose (and @dbacklot99 and @carry-the-sky! 💖

1. Crowley had memorised the varying textures and imperfections scrawled across the dingy old ceiling above his bed. (from The Rock of Your Refuge) 2. Aziraphale gingerly peeks around damp, dingy brick walls besmirched with all manner of graffiti as he shuffles further and further into the alleyway. (from half agony, half hope) 3. “Well,” Aziraphale sighs, turning around once the door to the lift is snugly closed, “that’s that, then—” (from the corner of my garment) 4. The floor feels right. (from wonderfully solid) 5. Crowley walks back and forth past Professor Fell’s door twice before he gives up and gives in with an aggravated huff. (from Ataraxia) 6. Aziraphale stands in front of the office he once thought would be his. (from Hedonism) 7. When Crowley shares the proposition with Luca one night after they’ve each had a few, he’s convinced he misheard or that his brain just conjured up one of his wildest dreams as some form of bizarre and unusual torture. (from Chance) 8. Crowley shivers with the frosty, glittery combination of the winter chill and bubbling anticipation as he stands outside of an unmarked and rather normal-looking building on the corner. (from More) 9. “Shhh,” Aziraphale’s whisper joins the feathery whimper escaping Crowley’s throat, a trembling melisma tumbling from his parted mouth. (from sweet star gazer) 10. Crowley is having an exceedingly bad night. (from Incarnadine)

no-pressure tagging (and sorry for possible repeat tags!) : @the-oxrib-and-oyster, @copperplatebeech, @gingiekittycat, @voluptatiscausa @arabellatheauthor, @mxmaxzephyrus, @doonarose, @firelikestars and anyone who wants to play!

[twilightofthesandwiches]

Every time I see Fanart of Crowley and Aziraphale being themselves and happy in the 'present day' together, or a silly fluffy piece of fanfiction, the kind of art and fics that were all over the place post GO1, and I see that it was made after the Finale, whatever it's directly happening in a 'fix-it timeline' or addressing the Finale as a bad dream or not engaging with it's existence at all, it makes feel a little bit hopeful and very very thankful. I just want to go out to all of these creators and tell them, thank you, thank you for still believing in these silly little losers and their happiness, thank you for your part in not letting this 'Finale' take them away from us, thank you for keeping them alive. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

[depraveddame]

last 10 fan fics: a writer meme

rules: post the first sentence of your most recent 10 fan fics and tag up to 10 people. thanks so much for the tag @addledmongoose (and @dbacklot99 and @carry-the-sky! 💖

1. Crowley had memorised the varying textures and imperfections scrawled across the dingy old ceiling above his bed. (from The Rock of Your Refuge) 2. Aziraphale gingerly peeks around damp, dingy brick walls besmirched with all manner of graffiti as he shuffles further and further into the alleyway. (from half agony, half hope) 3. “Well,” Aziraphale sighs, turning around once the door to the lift is snugly closed, “that’s that, then—” (from the corner of my garment) 4. The floor feels right. (from wonderfully solid) 5. Crowley walks back and forth past Professor Fell’s door twice before he gives up and gives in with an aggravated huff. (from Ataraxia) 6. Aziraphale stands in front of the office he once thought would be his. (from Hedonism) 7. When Crowley shares the proposition with Luca one night after they’ve each had a few, he’s convinced he misheard or that his brain just conjured up one of his wildest dreams as some form of bizarre and unusual torture. (from Chance) 8. Crowley shivers with the frosty, glittery combination of the winter chill and bubbling anticipation as he stands outside of an unmarked and rather normal-looking building on the corner. (from More) 9. “Shhh,” Aziraphale’s whisper joins the feathery whimper escaping Crowley’s throat, a trembling melisma tumbling from his parted mouth. (from sweet star gazer) 10. Crowley is having an exceedingly bad night. (from Incarnadine)

no-pressure tagging (and sorry for possible repeat tags!) : @the-oxrib-and-oyster, @copperplatebeech, @gingiekittycat, @voluptatiscausa @arabellatheauthor, @mxmaxzephyrus, @doonarose, @firelikestars and anyone who wants to play!

[depraveddame]

Chapter 7 of The Rock of Your Refuge has been posted ✨

| tags | Crowley POV, Dreams/Flashbacks, Self Reflection, Growth, Hope, Healing, Forgiveness, Bravery, Leaps of Faith, One Year Later, Reunions |

| summary |

Crowley dreams of his father after a night filled with the impossible and the unthinkable. Newly armed with a reborn hope and the tender uncertainty of accepting that he might not be as broken as he thought, and that it might not be too late, Crowley leaves Lucius’ home and sets out to reclaim what he dearly hopes he’s not lost for good.

| excerpt |

Exactly 365 days earlier, Crowley had walked into this church carrying garlands of pine and cedar, an aching heart full of joyous birds and so much fluttering, newborn hope he’d nearly floated with it.

He had no greenery with him now, and his flock had fled— his cardial cardinals gone along with the starlings and hummingbirds and sparrows and sweet doves and all the rest— but the hope was back, and Crowley clung to it like he’d clung to a trembling Aziraphale in the confessional that first December night.

While his left hand still clutched the tiny cross inside his pocket, he curled his right around the chilled, brass handle of the door, and pushed.

The Rock of Your Refuge - Chapter 7 - depraveddame - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

[killyscharactercollective]

The image of his chest as a cleaved open pomegranate that dripped scarlet returned and wouldn't leave his mind as the priest inspected Crowley with an unhurried regard that was insatiable in its consistent, concentrated attention. And Crowley wanted to beg, he wanted to plead for Aziraphale to take each tiny bit of himself. He watched, wary as the priest picked up morsels of his heart, but he didn’t toss any of them to the side in irritation, he didn’t throw any away as if they were disappointments. Instead, Aziraphale looked at them in awe, he looked at Crowley with little secret smiles and reverent eyes.

Vine Slips - @depraveddame (mind the tags)

This one took me longer than expected, but I went probably too perfectionist on the pomegranate for my own good, oops. I'm still fairly pleased with how it came out though <3

I knew as soon as I read what I call "The Pomegranate Paragraph" I was going to be locked IN on this fic, and it was so worth it lemme tell ya. I knew I wanted to do this piece before I did my bird cage one, but I also wanted to make sure I could do it some sort of semblance of justice :,)

I may revisit this one day when I gain more confidence, or if I ever get ballsy enough to try another hand at a pomegranate.

[depraveddame]

Deeply in love with this look at our sweet gardener 🥹🙏🏻♥️