Go team

[anxietyproblem]

[ratfuck]

fuck all philosophy except for whatever the hell Diogenes was trying to teach

[ratfuck]

direct action

[t-nwo]

How about just being polite & going into a debate with those who hold diffrent beliefs then you?

[ratfuck]

how about you eat my shit and hair

[brunhiddensmusings]

staying true to spirit

the OG of the vicious burn

[umm-whats-going-on]

Diógenes said you couldn’t spit anywhere but in the face of a rich man because once this rich dude invited him into his house and literally told him you can’t spit on anything that touches the floor so Diógenes spit in this guys face

[do-you-have-a-flag]

here is a very good painting of Diógenes in his tub that i had the good fortune of actually seeing earlier this year

[0kkvlt]

[gnars-house]

I love that Diogenes is making a comeback in the twenty-first century.

[rocksalive]

we all know 2018 aziraphale uses a flip phone from 2003 right. we’re all clear on this

[neil-gaiman]

He has a very nice bakelite phone from around 1940 in the front of the shop, and a much older one in the back of the shop. They are rotary dial phones, of the kind that would need to be rewired to work with today’s exchanges. They have never been rewired and they still phone anywhere on Earth (and probably one place off Earth) perfectly.

I’m not entirely sure that he’ll ever approve of phones that aren’t wired in to the wall.

[jumpingjacktrash]

are you sure? cuz i kind of envision him being addicted to candy crush

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

god I strive for the confidence of asking the man who both wrote the book and ran the show if he’s sure 

[sinnahsaint]

This is Tumblr. No one checks usernames.

[im-fairly-whitty]

[great-tweets]

👀

[monkeysaysficus]

They have nine beverages between the two of them

[polychromehana]

i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…

[jessthecheesewitch]

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

[queen-rot]

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?

[jessthecheesewitch]

[okwait-deactivated20201120]

[kinaco-cat]

こども用ソファで猫じゃらししてたら、とんでもない瞬間が撮れてしまった。ポーズもすごいがアニメみたいな顔になってる…。

[bunjywunjy]

god every time I think I’ve seen all the cat material the internet has to show something new and absolutely delighting appears

[captainmarvall]

IM WHEEZING!

[garrettauthor]

HOLY SHIT

[zhanael]

He couldn’t even keep it together for Thanos, I love him.

[thranduils]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[quovadis-jasen]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[dominateeye]

World Heritage Post

[bolto-deactivated20211002]

why did the cake is a lie become the like most quoted portal thing when literally everything glados said was funnier 

[kurasumi]

“Look, we both said a lot of things that *you’re* going to regret.”

“Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it. WELL I WONT LET YOU. how does that feel?”

“Nice job breaking it, hero”

“Look at you. sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle…piloting a blimp”

Like this bitch had a goldmine of good lines

[starry-nightengale]

“Maybe after you finish this test, I’ll let you take the elevator all the way up to the break room… and I’ll tell you about the time I saw the deer again.”

“It’s a mystery I’ll have to solve later. By myself. Because you’ll be dead.”

[kurasumi]

“Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noise– * really loud ass train horn* “I’m sorry, I don’t know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.“ 

“Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: A horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”

“Don’t let that ‘horrible person’ thing discourage you. It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”

[clareironbrook]

”Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.“

“Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version- [unintelligible] There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I’ll be right back.”

“This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They’re the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That’s you in five seconds. Good luck.”

“That jumpsuit you’re wearing looks stupid. That’s not me talking, it’s right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks stupid. Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It’s a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!”

“Oh, hi. How are you holding up? Because I’m a POTATO.”

”Remember, these exhibits ARE interactive. Like a children’s museum. So that means the pits of acid are filled with REAL acid. Like at a WELL FUNDED children’s museum.“

[thelovelyblark-barg]

“Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber…. is looking pretty good.”

[whysosirris]

[afloweroutofstone]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[squeeful]

[cosmictuesdays]

“You can’t argue with them like a regular person … you have to out-conspiracy theory them.”

[alienoriana]

The unnamed Prince of Dorne being true to dornish traditions

[diners-driveins-n-deathclaws]

[el-chavara]