I’ve been thinking, how can you give that same smile to someone who comes back after 8 months—funny, or after all these years?
We’ve always been like this: spends time together, tells how we missed high school so much, laughs at crazy memories of us and realizes how important are we to each other; but at the end of every conversation, it’s always “I’d like us to be like this forever, no periods only commas or semi-colons.”
My last 8 months without you made me realize so much. To tell you the truth, for the first time in my life, I have been genuinely happy for you. I don’t miss you that much (in a good way hehe), and I met new people; cool enough to be called my newfound friends. Ever since I started my senior year in UST, I promised myself to enjoy and cherish every moment I spend with everyone. There were a lot of times when I really thought that I lost you already. You were so busy with acads and stuff. I even thought you forgot to greet me Merry Christmas and Happy New Year during Noche Buena and Media Noche but hey, I don’t blame you, either. Instead, I somehow wanted to thank you for giving me space and for letting me realize that ‘this thing’ we have can and probably will end on its’ own.
Honestly, I somehow regret the fact that I told you I was seeing someone, I wanted to take it back because I don’t know, I felt like my response should have been “It’s still you, always have.” But then, I have come to my senses…if we really want us to be together, we would’ve done that four years ago. Maybe this is fate telling us we are better off like this.
But let me ask you this question: does this friendship of ours makes it hard for you to process everything like how I feel up until this very moment? If it does not make you confused, good for you because right now, I feel so helpless again. I am so frustrated with how I feel right now. I do not understand any of it at all. Do I need another 8 months without you or should I end this now?
By the way, I haven’t read your letter yet, and as of this moment, I have no plans of reading it (to be honest) because I’m so fucking scared. I just hope you told me everything in that letter.
Maybe by that time, when I am ready to read your letter, that’s when I’ll be able to decide on this matter.
andulkaphoto
jacobvanloon
stormborns
germansingergirl
discoholicmusic
baratheonpilled
