Eldritch Thoughts

As the waves rolled over him, The Great Cthulhu contemplated many ideas in his dreaming state. These are those thoughts and ideas, here to spread enlightenment and madness. This site was inspired by the Saturday Night Live segment, "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey." It is a tribute to the many laughs it did, and still does, give me. If you enjoy what is on here, please check out the Deep Thoughts website. If you want to know more about me, check out my website. Copyright © 2010 - 2012 var sc_project=6670298; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="4488ada7";

[eldritch-thoughts]

Insanity is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to rave as well as think.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Somedays, I love being the villain. Everyone wants to be the bad guy. I thrive on the haters hating and the devoted's enthrallment. But there are those days where I just wished for a little understanding. I mean, convicts get love letters, why can't I?

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Vows of poverty are not as sacrificial as other religions imply. Anything a twenty-something philosophy major will attain naturally is not impressive, nor really something to aspire too.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

If I were a cowboy and won a gunfight, I wouldn't walk into the sunset. I would have a good dinner, then spend the night with the prettiest saloon girl. I earned it.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Those who are not everyday conquering some fear are roasting themselves as my appetizers.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

I'm looking forward to making some changes in my life over the coming year, what do you consider to be the most important aspect of ones life to deal with and how does one go about that?

Health is always the most important. If you don’t have a healthy body, the rest of your life with spiral into an abyss of loathing and depression only to end up with you dead, alone in your own filth.

But that is only if you wish for immediate changes in your life. The fact is, I could wake up and rise to the surface with R'lyeh at anytime. And while I’ll have a cavernous hunger, I will still be picky. If you eat all the crap that pollutes your body and you are a fat lump of lard adhered to your couch, I pass you up. Those vegans are like caviar to me. 

So pick: happiness for your physical life or your immortal one.

[eldritch-thoughts]

What do I do to help my kid improve their grades?

Education is a very important part of growing up. I, too, had a hard time in my younger years. You have to find a way to relate the lessons to your spawn’s life.

Mamathulhu came up with the idea of throwing me to the wolves to see how far I could make it on my own. If I was sure what to do, she wouldn’t help me, just say, “You would know if you paid attention and studied harder.” After the wolves, I was tossed to Azathoth and when I saw the life of the Idiot God, I realized this could be me if I don’t get straight with my schooling.

You know your children best and what they will respond to best. But, scaring the little bastards seems to always work if you are in a bind.

[eldritch-thoughts]

[eldritch-thoughts]

You haven't faced anything until you face the music of Erich Zann.

The Great Cthulhu

[fivehoes]

[eldritch-thoughts]

Not a lot of Reblogging will happen here, but I think this is worthy of the exception.

[eldritch-thoughts]

Who has twenty tentacles and will be sleeping through 2012? This guy! Stupid humans can’t read a calendar.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Azathoth is so stupid, he drove a car through a McDonalds.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Kimberly came in and told me that she got a letter from the Joneses today. They have decided to move and live a more frugal life. I just hope that doesn't send us into a new recession.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

When I go amokking, I like to take my time. You miss a lot and get spent if you take it too fast. It's a lost art.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Stop raising Cain and start raising Cthulhu. I have a charley horse like you wouldn't imagine.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Some times I wondered if I choose the right path. I wonder: what if? What if I didn't run to my priesthood and embraced my passion for crotchet? Would I be as happy? Would the stars have finally been right? Then I subject myself to the horror of Azathoth eating a baby rhinoceros for being so human.

The Great Cthulhu

[eldritch-thoughts]

Fall, the harvest season. A hard year's toil is celebrated by the falling husks that once breathed vitality. Both leaves and bodies make great fertilizer for the next spring. Unlike leaves, though, human bodies take on an unpleasant color.

The Great Cthulhu