Swinging While We Can

[[ic tsw rp blog]] A place for the memories, fantastical findings and incredibly awesome bits of stuff that I find lurking around on the internet.

[eleisyium]

I’m calling it right now. The Illuminati have a major tunnel fetish.

Paster Hawthorne is a pretty cool guy, all things considered. Bit of personal history: I made an effort to be more churchy once I joined the “Religious Fanatics” Templars, and Kingsmouth Congregational was always non-judgy and welcoming. Not going to lie, my Catholic devoutness quickly shrivelled up and died, but the pastor and I had plenty of interesting conversations while I was living in town. He’s definitely a few crayons short of the full box, if you get my drift. Still, everyone likes having someone to talk to and I can’t imagine too many conspiracy fanatics among the congregation.

So when he sent me on a trip to go dig up (quite literally) the old Illuminati stomping grounds, I couldn’t say no. We both enjoyed learning about Kingsmouth history: the more underground (puns!) the better.

I eventually found a tunnel entrance right outside the town hall. Honestly, I’m not even surprised - the Illuminati never really understood the meaning of “discrete.” Like, no offense, but if I was trying to hide the seat of Enlightened Power from preying eyes, the middle of town would not be my first choice.

Confession time: this wasn’t my first time poking around in Kingsmouth’s underground tunnels. Man, those founders really enjoyed their rabbit warrens. Even the sewers here have proper electrical lighting – I don’t know if you’re familiar with sewer infrastructure, but that’s generally not a thing. Tunnel fetish, I’m telling you. I don’t really want to think about where the money is coming from to keep the lights running. Maybe that’s why Sherrif Bannerman’s always complaining about how the city officials give her ridiculously low budgets?

To be fair, the tunnels were beyond spectacular.  I did take a couple pictures for the pastor, to help scratch his itch for occult adventuring. Once I figured my way past the absolute plethora of traps (thanks for that, long-dead Illuminati friends!) I came across a quasi library (which may be missing some books now hehe) and even found the tomb of Solomon Priest himself. There may have also been a cold-case murder solved somewhere in there; I really don’t want to inspire the wrath of a town founder by publically sharing my discovery, so I’m electing to stay mum on that point.

All in all, a solidly decent adventure. Cheers, Paster Hawthorne.

[sproutaesthetics]

swl | THE FILTH

“ sumerians called it the eater. in babylon they named it nergal’s rot. dead tongues dubbed it the devouring plague, the zero point pathogen, the dark homunculus, the blackworm jism ”

[xochihuacoyotl]

The new Agartha map, translated by myself and @nikkidee!

(whoops i forgot to include the third word on the bee but it’s wings)

[nikkidee]

[xochihuacoyotl]

i think this is grounds for divorce.

[iguanamouth]

REALLY good

[mysharona1987]

[synthesizingcinders]

@5fingerlockerpunch

[dewdropdwelliing-deactivated201]

One of the most wholesome feelings is sitting with someone or multiple people and talking about things otherworldly. Magic, fairies, spirits, ghosts, aliens. This feeling that reminds me of being a child at a sleepover and talking under the blanket. It’s so personal and open and wondrous, especially when there’s encouragement or agreement like “yeah that happened to me too!” or “I totally think that too”. Sharing stories about seeing or hearing faeries, altered states, alien theories, ugh I love it. My heart is forever behind the purple curtain, talk to me about the universe

[duskenpath]

Completely agree!!!!

[sproutaesthetics]

swl | BEES

“ our wisdom flows so sweet. taste and see ”

[eleisyium]

A campfire at the apocalypse.

You gotta admit, that’s got a nice ring to it. In all these post-apocalyptic movies, there’s always something on fire. Of course, with my very limited experience in all things post-apocalyptic, I was expecting it to be, like, corpses or cars or something - not a neat pile of twigs with some baked beans bubbling merrily away on top. Yum, beans.

I stuck around and chatted with Boone, the cowboy whose camp I had unknowingly crashed. For a self-described hermit with a gun, he’s actually a pretty chill guy. We showed off our rifle skills for each other and everything. The nearby zombies didn’t really appreciate our skills. I also discovered they have a thing against loud noises. Especially car alarms. Especially car alarms from cars being jumped on. I feel like they’d get along well with my crotchety next-door neighbour. Some people just do not appreciate my jumping talent. On the plus side, jumping on cars was something I’ve always wanted to try since I was a kid. That’s one thing off my bucket list.

Anyways, I really didn’t mind clearing the road of rabid bodies, knowing that I had the campfire to go back to when it was done. Speaking of rabid bodies, I should totally look into stapling handwashing posters to the trees around the main drags into town. Zombies can be so unhygienic, and I feel like it would give a laugh to anyone passing through. See? Positive health interventions do exist. Bam.

But yeah, Boone and I had an epic time star-gazing and swapping stories. The guy’s seen some really freaky stuff; it’s no wonder he’s got a sense of the overdramatic. I have a mad desire to smuggle up an acoustic the next time I’m passing by this way - I feel like he’d really appreciate some music, and it totally fits with his solitary cowboy vibe. The groans of the undead added a nice atmosphere to the whole mini-camping-trip thing we had going on. And I have to say, there’s something pretty comforting about roasting the zombies who would get too close. Admittedly, the smell isn’t.

[fuckyeahstvincent]

[boy-so-pale]

[thedesigndome]

Exquisite Figurines Depicting Various Seasons

New York-based assemblage sculpture artist Garret Kane composed a breathtaking series called “Seasons”, actualizing a figment of his own imagination.

Keep reading

[starshardfragments]

How to deal with street cats

Be nice to them. They’re doing an important job. Do not chase them, grab them or harass them. 

Always bring some food with you, it’s just polite. 

Approach them slowly, and let them come to you. Sometimes you might have to sit on the ground and tap it a few times. This is what you brought food for. 

At some point after you have managed to touch the cat it will turn and sprint away. This is when you start following it.

Cats do not want you to get lost, but they can be fast. Never lose sight of them, you should stay with it until your return. This might still look like your usual street but you are in a liminal space already. Try not to get lost. 

(NOTE: do not follow cats with mismatched eyes. You can pet them, but the moment they run away you should immediately turn your back to them and walk in the opposite direction.)

Black cats:

Follow black cats into the floor-level vents. Don’t worry, there are many spider webs but there aren’t any spiders.

Do not lose sight of them in the dark.

When you emerge, you will be in the same street you were before, but there will be no people to be found.

Do not stray, follow your cat. Sometimes it might want to just catch a bird and go back. Do not stay longer just to explore.

 If you hear the sound of a crowd in the distance do not try to follow it. Your cat will never lead you there.

You can take anything with you but you cannot take pictures or record video or sound.

Orange cats:

Orange cats hang around train stations for a reason. Follow them into the next train. You will not need a ticket.

If the cat wants you to scratch its ears during the trip, do it.

The landscape will not look like the area around your town.  Do not panic - this is normal.

The people in the train will not speak a language you understand or recognize, but they will have clothes and devices similar to yours. They are usually nice.

Get down at the same stop as your cat. You will not understand the name of the station, and no one will get off in the same station as yours. You should follow your cat, but it will never leave the station. Follow it into the next train to get back home.

Never stay in the train. Never wait for the last stop.

White cats:

White cats live on the edges. They will take you to many places but at the same time they will never take you anywhere.

If you meet them during the night-time, the sun will start rising, regardless of the time. If you meet them during the daytime, the sun will start setting. It will stay like this for the duration of the trip.

Follow them to the edge of a forest that smells like honeysuckle. You will hear the song of birds and the flow of water. You should never stray and enter the forest on your own. Your cat will not follow.

Follow them to a building where a fancy party is being held at. Through the windows you can see the food and the champagne. The guests will ask you to join them, but your cat will keep walking. Do not accept the invitation, and never eat the food or drink the champagne.

Follow them along the edge of a swimming pool. People will be bathing, playing and laughing. It will be hot, regardless of the season. Do not step too close to the edge, because they will try to grab your ankles and pull you into the water. Keep walking.

Once the sun finally sets or rises you will be back home. Never enter your house until you are completely sure the sky is changing.

Calico cats:

Calico cats are the safest. They will follow you instead.

Walk around your town and you will see everything is the same, but you will not be able to make the connections between the streets.

If you want to go to a certain place you will find it is no longer where it used to be.

You will not recognize anyone. Every single person in the street will be a stranger. They are not dangerous but do not look them directly in the eyes.

Never try to find your house. Because you will find it.

When you want to come back take the cat back where you found it. This might be more difficult than you expect.

Remember to always take some food with you, something made of iron, and comfortable shoes.

And remember to always be nice to the cats!

[russian translation by @rachell-redacted]

[if you like my writing consider buying me a coffee? your girl works night shifts ;u;]  @senshi76 gave me the suggestion for this one!

[turntechgoddamnitt]

Teen Boat: an Epic

so I was in my high school library when I found this fucking book

the angst of being a teen… the thrill of being a boat

it’s literally animorphs but he turns into a fucking boat i’m

he doesn’t even turn into the boat he just kinda folds inside of one

doctor this is the worst case of yaoi hands we’ve ever seen

and if you think this is bad wait until you see the concept art for his transformation

option 1) he turns into the Crabman. he ejects into the stratosphere

option 2) HIS NECK FUCKIN SNAPS AND HIS NOSE EXTENDS TO BECOME THE MAST I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHILDREN’S BOOK

teen boat also has a diverse cast of characters including

mary columbus sue, a european exchange student. exotic

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

is that fuckin eminem

Not-How-Trousers-Work Girl

PUT IT. BACK

yes she is eating a whole babbage

and then there’s also the point in the book where the tone does a complete 180

excuse me what the fuck

is this loss.jpg

[ratzofficial-deactivated2017121]

@copperpossem

[eleisyium]

This reminds me SO MUCH of that one kid who used to come to Susie’s ALL THE TIME and talk NON-STOP about how much he loved boats and wanted to be one in the future

[lissabt]

creative_people.jpeg

[cybebully]

Tumblr is finally catering to me

[eleisyium]

London

[siriusblaque-archive-blog]

yo but mermaid monster hybrids though

vampire mermaids who prey on their own kind — when they get bitten, their scales fall off, their tails turn a slick and fleshy grey, a dorsal fin begins to sprout from their spine, and suddenly there’s six rows of teeth where once there was only one

mermaid medusas who’ve got eels for hair and it’s not their gaze that can turn you to stone but their song

fairy mermaids who’re born of spite and mischief — they’re small, the size of seahorses, and they speed through the currents causing mayhem and sometimes destruction

were-mermaids who turn into huge, hulking great whites when the full moon filters through the deep waters, who cannot be restrained because what shackles can you find in the deep?, who leave blood and guts in their wake

[the-magical-crawdad]

Let’s go deeper

Mermaid dryads tied to a whole kept forest, fins and hair perfectly camouflaged with their natural habitat. They drift serenely through their gardens until it is threatened, when the whole kelp forest turns on the attacker and drags it down to its death.

Elementally aligned mermaids - air-aligned mermaids leap joyously from the water and glide on tough fins, punching through the surface of the water like tiny spears of silver-blue. Fire-aligned mermaids drawn to deep volcanic vents, blind and sickly-white with teeth that fit together like a sieve.

Kraken mermaids.