Stories from an elementary school teacher

Dedicated to the hilarious things the youngest students say/do

[whitepeopletwitter]

[coolsvillesux]

Thank

[elementaryteacherstories]

Grading tests on a Friday

[pukicho]

Kids are just like “ppptppptppthhptpppthh” until one day they’re like “oh shit I can think” and then it’s all downhill from there

[russian-chaos-agent]

him after overreacting

[luvmelaninvibes]

That sigh of relief he makes 😂

[ibadbitch]

😂he’s such a cutie

[spanish-g0ld]

😭😂😍

[q-tsh-deactivated20220813]

😂😩 aweee 😍😍

[05am]

[90skidandcompany]

[elementaryteacherstories]

These are my students!

[miinadrop]

[accras]

Adorable twins Issac & Aria [x]

[momworries]

Lmfaooo the look he’s giving her

[melanin-goat]

His like wow you disrespectful

[elementaryteacherstories]

Student: “i love almond milk and don’t drink cow milk because it’s DISGUSTING.”

Same student: *drinking the schools chocolate milk*

Me: “You’re drinking cow milk right now...”

Student: “No! This is chocolate milk it comes from the chocolate animals!”

[elementaryteacherstories]

Tried to teach my first graders that a bad event happened on 9/11 and a lot of people got hurt. One student raises his hand and says “why do we care about America? We live in Florida. Nobody even lives in America anymore?”

[teachinginreallife]

When I try to get the class to focus after I distracted them in the first place

[elementaryteacherstories]

I just got my first teaching job!

What are the essential must haves for my classroom? What are the must have books?

[babygruenwald]

“Teach your children not only how to love but how to be loved. Also, how to change a fucking tire.”

— Baby Gruenwald’s “Unsolicited Advice for Weary Young Parents” (1931)

[wtfteaching]

I never understood why some teachers were so super strict. This student opted to finish the study guide instead of doing extra credit. The study guide was not an assignment, it was literally just to study for the exam. It was worth zero points. The whole purpose, though, was to help reinforce stuff we learned, and doing the study guide…spending an hour filling it out…absolutely does reinforce what we studied in class.

This was after she tanked the exam, so I felt it fair to give her the extra credit. For those of you wanting to become future teachers, we must remember that everyone has a different learning style. Just because they answer a question differently than we expect doesn’t automatically make it wrong (it often is, but not always). The goal is to help the students learn the material, let them try on their own. Reward them for making decisions that benefit their personal education. It’s so important that we teach them to figure out their own way instead of making them follow our way.

[ineffectualdemon]

“Babies only cry if they are hungry, need changing, or need to be picked up”

Lies

Babies (and small children) also cry for reasons such as:

1. “I am tired and that makes me angry”

2. “I scared myself with a fart”

3. “You are the wrong parent”

4. “I ran into something with my face”

5. “I’m facing the opposite direction then the one I want to”

6. “I fell asleep in one place and woke up somewhere completely different”

7. “I am a very small person in a very big world”

8. “I got scared because YOU farted”

Babies have more then 3 states of being and sometimes you just have to hold them and bounce them gently while saying solemnly “yes it is very hard to be a baby” because frankly it is

[aconfusedbird]

you have to remember that when you’re that tiny… pretty much any bad thing that happens to you is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened in your life. they have no perspective. everything is awful. help them

[let-tyrants-fear]

#everything is happening for the first time and they cant even google it  

[manicvirgo13-deactivated2021030]

My daughter cries if you hand her something she’s reaching for sometimes so yeah.

[odinsblog]

No matter what she says, that was no joke. Particularly not when Betsy DeVos has made it clear that she fully intends to accelerate the school-to-prison pipeline to incarcerate black children en masse. And Ms. Swearingen is very obviously, FULLY aware of what would likely happen to a black child if she made that false report to the police. Shanna Swearingen’s “joke” was barely more than a veiled death threat to special needs black children.

This was not just another racist educator, but a school principal. I feel sorry for the black children under her “supervision”. She obviously doesn’t think much of them, nor does she care about their safety.

[tomfletcherscats]

i love when my preschoolers pretend to be talking on the phone bc if u leave them to their own devices and observe they just start saying things they’ve heard adults say into the phone like “hello i have an appointment, i’d like some rice”