You choose what you want to be part of you @elenimyfavoritebook - Tumblr Blog

The many browns of my home

Book Rankings 2025

This year I read 64 books!! Yay! What a delight it’s been! Please note that my rankings are organised by how much I was personally affected by a work and not some non-existent ‘objective’ measure of quality. Sometimes I’ll give a book an extra star just because one moment, sentence, or scene cut me. These are almost all fiction or autofiction with a couple of exceptions, and I haven’t included anything I read for purely academic purposes.

Next year I would like to be more disciplined about writing reviews, even if it’s only a few sentences. You can read my reviews on my goodreads. Here is my top 10 of the year, followed by the full list, and some statistics.

eleniror

It must be spring in Reykjavik. The grass is shouting green, the dandelions have taken over, and statues stand proud under cloudless skies. Puffins twirl in shopfronts, towers rise like something out of a fairytale, and bronze vikings strike a pose. Everything feels both brand new and centuries old.

eleniror

Two weeks ago, I drifted into the 7-step ritual at Sky Lagoon. Warm waters cradled my body, a plunge of cold that I couldn’t quite face, heat and mist and salt on skin, breath rising in clouds. The sea stretched out past the edge of the pool like a question with no end.

I got to the cold plunge, dipped a foot in, and instantly backed out. Too much. Too sharp. So I stepped back. Let myself not be brave. Let myself not push. That felt like a kind of healing too. Choosing softness over endurance.

I’d been holding so much tension from work, from being constantly on, constantly needed. In the silence, I felt it unravel. Not all at once. Just enough to breathe again. Enough to remember there’s a self beneath the stress.

I didn’t leave transformed. But I left more me. And for now, that’s enough.

eleniror

This sunset in Iittala, Finland, on the hottest day in September, a rare and unexpected gift, wasn’t just a goodbye. It was everything in between. On one side of the bridge, a softer glow of blush and peach drifted seamlessly into the fading blue. On the other, the sky melted into tangerine and amber, spilling like molten glass into the lake.

We stopped the car on a whim, and I stood there, suspended between two skies, letting the warmth of the moment settle into my skin. Much like the end of 2024, this sunset wasn’t just a fleeting beauty. It was a reminder that saying goodbye doesn’t have to be bitter. It can be a soft pause, a transition filled with warmth and wonder, paving the way for what comes next. This sunset became the highlight of my year, a moment so vivid that time itself seemed to stop, a quiet conversation between light and water, between an ending and a beginning.

eleniror

Just finished: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. This one had been on my radar for a while, and I’m glad I took the plunge. It’s a fascinating read, especially if you’re into psychology and the art of persuasion. It took me a bit to get into the rhythm of Voss’s methods—his approach to negotiation is intense, shaped by years of high-stakes FBI work—but once I did, I found myself hooked. Voss cuts through the noise with clear, actionable advice, all while weaving in stories from his time in the field that really ground his strategies in real-world situations. There’s something refreshing about how he balances empathy and assertiveness, teaching you to navigate tough conversations without ever splitting the difference. Definitely one for anyone who wants to understand the power dynamics at play in everyday interactions.

triflingthing

Lamp Light Books (a literary themed hotel) in Sapporo. The lobby is a library coffee shop.

eleniror

Attached, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller – A compelling examination of attachment theory through a contemporary lens, this book synthesizes decades of research into a practical guide for understanding relationships. Levine, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist, and Heller, a social psychologist, bring their expertise together to explore how our early attachments shape our adult connections.

I was impressed by the clarity and relevance of their writing, which draws on real-life case studies and scientific data to make a convincing case for the importance of attachment styles in romantic relationships. The book's core message is that understanding whether you are secure, anxious, or avoidant in your attachments can profoundly improve your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.

What struck me was the accessibility of the concepts. The authors avoid overly technical jargon, making the science of attachment approachable for a broad audience. Their discussion is not just academic but deeply practical, offering concrete strategies for individuals to recognize their patterns and work towards more secure attachments.

Levine and Heller's use of everyday examples and relatable scenarios brings the theory to life, highlighting how attachment styles play out in common relationship dynamics. The emphasis on the science of human connection is both enlightening and reassuring, as it underscores the notion that our relationship struggles are often rooted in understandable and manageable patterns.

However, one notable limitation is the authors' somewhat simplified categorization of attachment styles. While they provide valuable insights into secure, anxious, and avoidant types, they tend to overlook the nuances within the avoidant category and the third type of insecure attachment style—disorganized attachment. This omission might leave readers with an incomplete understanding of the full spectrum of attachment behaviors.

"Attached" serves not just as a guide for those seeking to improve their romantic relationships but also as a broader commentary on the human need for connection. The book's balance of empirical evidence and practical advice makes it a standout in the field of self-help literature, providing valuable insights into how we can better navigate the complexities of our emotional lives.

vesora

dealing with fear of abandonment through LOA + general tips

personal backstory / long post ahead

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” ― Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

as a child, my needs were not met and therefore, i developed a schema that people were meant to disappoint me and leave me and my relationships, both platonic and romantic reflected EXACTLY that.

countless times, i was ‘left’ without any reason, always strengthening the notion i had always felt that people were meant to abandon me. even if i was close to someone, i would still engage in self-sabotaging behaviours when i felt disappointed by the expectations i had set for them. feeling this lack of control when it came to relationships because i was so deathly afraid of being left alone; of disappointing the other. not putting myself first because i felt the only sense of worth i had was through whether another found me worthy. this is all very hard for me to say of course, im a private person but i felt maybe someone at least needed to hear this. my parent would be nice at one point and disinterested in the other, i felt i had to work to gain their approval and for them to be nice to me all the time. i needed them to view me as perfect, so they wouldn’t leave me. but guess what guys? thats stupid, bcos fuck perfection.

in my abandonment activation strategies/self-sabotaging behaviours, my body would go into a state of desperation, in dire need of any sort of relief and safety, crying my heart out because i was so scared, leaving people because i was scared of being left first. being scared i was being clingy by asking for reassurance which in turn sends me into another frenzy, isolating myself from people so i have no chances to be hurt, feeling resentment when someone doesnt meet my expectations/needs through no fault of their own. my inner child would just take over my body, repeating the same distress i experienced as a kid.

but i am not a kid anymore. i am a well-functioning adult and i cannot continue this abandonment schema. so what do i do?

i use loa.

Keep reading

aleksandrvarma

Кухонные принадлежности по-фински.

Даже не пытаюсь дать перевод, потому что в этом деле я не разбираюсь от слова вовсе.

eleniror

São Bento Train Station Porto stands adorned in a cloak of azulejos- each tile a storyteller, each tableau a glimpse into Porto's captivating past. Ugh, Porto. Let me breathe, will you?

eleniror

In the heart of enchanting Porto, where the cobblestone streets whisper tales of time, there exists a sanctuary for bibliophiles- the Livraria Lello. ✨