y'know, when hoshino said the bookman were Important to the Plot i did not anticipate this. chapters 252-253.5 reaction and stream-of-conscious under the cut.
past allen is just a rando
makes a faustian deal for unknown stakes (his life, let's be real) to become neah's host
OHOKAY
FINE
just a R A N D O M GUY
who is also a soldier
and just lost everyone in his unit
not one but two lifetimes' worth of survivor's guilt
meanwhile, R.I.P. cross-is-old-jr headcanon, you were fun
how is cross involved
i mean he's got the same earrings as the rest of the bookman clan, so is he a family member?
admittedly a very flimsy thing to hang my hat on
it has been heavily implied that the campbells and the clan are intertwined/involved together in some way though and we do know cross knew neah and mana as kids
anyway
og lavi: "it's me, your best friend (self-identified)"
neah: "sorry sunshine, i took advantage of a dying man in your place :D"
god neah's a dick
speed-running lore drop
back to the actual chapters
helix thing's back
...so innocence requires a body for reasons unknown. we knew it had goals for its accomodators and punishes them accordingly when the accomodators no longer are...aligned with? in compliance to? those goals
gotcha
the heart is the consciousness of innocence
innocence requires its hosts to be able to endure immense hardship, also for reasons unknown
why? and so that the heart can do what? stay tuned
helix of life thing reminds me of phillip pullman's Dust a little
we have the mystery of allen's de-aging solved and why the gap in time.
laven girlies are winning?
fellas is it gay to merge souls with your sworn protector and reincarnate(ish) with them and then for your protector's successor to dream of him and then be reminded of him when you and he meet for the first time
It's the fucking tlt Gideon/Harrow plot progression, but somehow with less angst
congrats??
allen's got not one but two ride-alongs and only one of them means well.
...
allen's literally got both a guardian angel and a demon to whom he traded his soul and body sharing mindspace
...
much to ponder
ALSOAALSOSOS
LAVI
IT'S NOT A RETURN, Y'ALL LIED TO ME, BUT IT'S A POV
I LOVE SEEING BABY LAVI
I'M HORRIFIED AT WHAT BABY LAVI HAS SEEN
ALSOALSOALOS
Seeing Allen as a grown-up with red hair, no scar, arm intact... bringing "in another life" madness to this tragedy
ma'am
and suddenly bookman picking "lavi" as jr.'s name for their mission with the black order carries such heavy connotations. like, i want to know what's happening in bookman's head SO BAD right now. is he hoping to right something, or find closure? what does he know?? how is he feeling about this???
i haven't read d. gray-man since 2019. *stares into the void*
rn apparently, there is a lavi mention in 251? my boy?? my child???? oh y'all we're back *cracks knuckles* okay, massive catch up and reaction post ahead (no, really).
let's see what i remember of The Plot
234:
Right, we're at the top of the flashbacks
so "don't stop walking" is a neah quote
...cross knew mana and neah as children?
kids repeat after me: never listen to the shit-stirrer at work (that one dude riding on cosimo the clown's insecurities)
hey road, long time no see
that weird limbo when you and your sworn enemy are stuck waiting for the same thing to happen
what does cross mean, the noah are using the earl? i thought he ran this show....?
"the pillar, that which mana, the millenium earl is predicted to become" what, like the pillar of light in that destroyed-modern-landscape?
...few pages later: yup
road and the noah witnessing the apocalypse and reliving it? in some kind of reincarnated universe? or...?
man. road's last line, "you haven't seen what it's like when the world ends, have you?" is really...resonant
235:
i really appreciate cross pointing out the cruel irony of the noah destroying the world when they know what that really means
cross trying to save road.... oh. oh man.
not-so-friendly-reminder that this series is a tragedy
meanwhile
cosimo the clown and his petty co-worker are gonna fuck up so many things for our boy, aren't they
i love angry bby allen
this dog
100/10 cuteness
BABY ALLEN HAS NEVER BEEN HUGGED?
yeah fine past life(?) memories of being held but theY DON'T COUNT
the memory of neah?
okay yeah, on second thought i'm not surprised baby Allen is seeing neah in his head, he's probably already possessed by him at this point
i mean, okay, sidetracking for a second, we know the noah memory messes with the minds/memories of its hosts but all the adult noah, before they're taken over completely by the memory, retain their sense of self. but an amnesiac, very young child shouldn't have much sense of self to override. is that why allen is picked as host?
much to ponder. back to the chapter
ah fuck apocryphos is here too
oh fuck you cosimo
FUCK YOU COSIMO
bby allen aabd this dog and the first bits of affection bby allen knows im gonna cry
last page: no no no no no no
236:
before the chapter: nice seeing OT4 in hoshino's latest style. i miss lenalee and lavi and the rest of the gang so bad
how dare you.
HOW DARE YOU.
I'M TEARING UP OVER THIS SERIES ONCE AGAIN H O W DARE YOUUUU
I knew this dog was dead already. like this is old news. but CHRIST
once! again! we can't grieve! because the earl will FUCK! US! UP! IF WE DO
only Mana IS the Earl and the whole thing is SO!!
mana picking up an unloved puppy because he connects to it missing its old owner...ouch
poor mana
once again i appreciate angry, bloodthirsty bby allen (vengeance for the dog!)
i mean, mana's right about the consequences of retaliation but i don't expect allen to get that
the deep irony of bby allen seeing mana smiling in his grief and reacting instinctively at the Wrongness of it
this poor pair istg
...so apocryphos knew allen was neah's host?
so: how did apocryphos lose the trail on allen? is that why cross took him on as apprentice, to train him, watch for neah, guide allen for whatever purpose, and also shield him? ...yeah. yes. obviously. answering my own questions here.
and to protect the identity of the heart, consequently. which has me wondering if cross knew who the heart was or simply suspected who it could be
still a cross-is-bookman's-old-apprentice truther
final panels: ...so cross recognizes allen?
onward and upward
237:
an observation before we begin: it may have been five years since i last picked this series up but judging from my reactions to the last couple chapters, my emotional connection knows no separation. (ah, the power of the media you consume as a teenager)
anyway.
cross: i need neah to destroy the earl right now and if that means murdering a child--
me: --the fuck
at least timcanpy is with me re: wtf cross
"wandering decades" if i remember right cross is like 50 or so at the start of the series so he's in his late thirties at this point...? this isn't important i'm just thinking aloud
mana *does a flower trick*
allen *experiences joy for the first time*
i'm 😭
see that cross and allen's dynamic kicks off antagonistic (to put it...mildly)
the more things change, the more they stay the same
too many creepy people posing as priests smh (looking at you apo)
short chapter esp compared to the last one
238:
bby allen throws away a hat full of money????
my boy you're going to need that!!
(lol love the fan translators using "yeet," bless)
bless allen calling mana "old"
of course to a kid he's practically ancient, lol
not great that mana lies about something as dumb as his age (no one believes you're 17, hon) when allen asks, but that's fitting for the tone of the rest of this relationship
...okay, emotionally seventeen mana makes... some sense, given the huge memory loss and physical change he's describing
I was harsh on mana, my bad.
you're telling me that mana and neah's break happens when they're seventeen? does no one get a happy childhood--no, okay, answering my own question again
as mana tells allen about neah and the earl, there's this sense that allen hears this and thinks to himself, "oh, i'm going to need to take care of this guy" because while yes allen thinks mana's nuts, already we see the seeds of allen taking on the task of looking out for others
the world has been harsh on allen and he's harsh in response but
allen's compassion is a part of his fundamental personality
and mana teaching allen to see beauty in the world for the first time is truly touching
239:
oh hey, we're back in the present!
there's something incredible about seeing kanda take a seat to simply listen to allen share his story. the growth
back to the flashback
apocryphos just loves trying to destroy tim, huh
and apparently wants to destroy allen
the more things change...
there is something interesting in apocryphos having this traditional angel imagery when he uses his powers and i can't quite put my finger on what that is at present.
it's very "be not afraid" and the people below being Rightly Afraid
240:
oh shit.
well then. baby's first weapons summoning.
thanks apo.
neat to see allen's OG arm in hoshino's new style, though
241:
allen's og arm always looked disproportionate, but there's something about it appearing on him as a child that really hurts
apocryphos wants the destruction of the earl to be a catalyst of sorts for the heart?
oof.
its harder to quip on action-filled chapters, what can i say
242:
how can allen possibly know any of this stuff that's happening in mana's head regarding the campbell tree and the wheat field?
there's a lot of screaming
mana calls allen an accomodator so he remembers something about innocence/the war
we pass on a lesson about grief (it's a form of love) but phrase the lesson poorly (you can't allow yourself to feel it)
(this is me projecting about my own feelings on how to properly grieve & handle death so ignore me at your discretion)
like yes, i know its about mana not being overtaken by the earl, but consider the implications on how allen grieves in the future (he refuses to, and that fucks with people, ya know)
mana proceeds to take 2d10 physic damage
i'm sorry
243:
what pretty cover art! allen in fall and kanda in winter
anyway.
the. fuck.
the applauding audience???
ohhhhhhh the earl's shadow shiiiiiiiit
OG EARL DESIGN
oh, the audience are akuma. gotcha. nods nods
levels ones! long time no see!
equal parts appreciating the horror of this moment and enjoying the return of the aesthetics of the beginning of the series
the gore is back too
bye bye circus
CROSS!! you bastard! *heart eyes*
no he's not here to save allen but let's goooo
i find it Fascinating that the earl exists in Noah form outside of Mana's host body...sentient memory made manifest
that makes the earl the only noah strong/capable enough to exist outside its host and i wonder at the connotations of that
244:
ya know, seeing cross and maria welded against level ones and the return of OG Earl design is really bringing back those original vibes at the start of the series and i for one am here for it
it's not nostalgia exactly but it is....coming home?
love that the earl suit is always Just a Suit
quick long aside: having read the locked tomb series recently i do think about the fact that dgm has this similar idea of "the body died but the soul remains as metadata" to it
if i had a nickel for every time an author uses necromancy as a device to talk about the mutability of identity and the divine, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it is weird that it's happened twice
(i'm sure there's other media out there that follows on this idea, i just haven't encountered it)
this is part of a recent realization that every piece of media i've ever lost my mind over has certain consistent themes (God, death, necromancy, love, shades of catholicism, the existence of the soul & all its implications) (i.e. dgm, his dark materials, the abhorsen books, and now locked tomb - also check out margaret rogerson's "vespertine" if these series are your jam)
okay, that's enough, back to the chapter
i like that we finally get to see cross being a sorcerer
cross: i should have committed infanticide after all
me: ☠️
there's a ruthlessness to all this that I Understand but NO, wtf dude
and while cross is doing this, poor tim is slowly getting himself back together after being dismantled by apocryphos
why do i feel like the next chapter, tim is going to fly in, hover over allen and wordlessly convince cross that he can't just sacrifice allen (because that's the only thing that makes sense)
i assume cross told allen what happened here after the fact because it seems like bby allen is out cold through all this?
245:
christ almighty, no wonder allen has complicated feelings about cross
re tim: called it.
didn't see maria intervening but i'm good with it
"trying to kill your own heart" well there's a lot of that going on around here, cross is in good company
its almost like there's a recurring theme of repression not being the path to salvation *wow* it's like your emotions and your love are not a curse they are the only things that will save you *incredible*
poor allen, terrified out of his wits
he takes the time to re-bury allen the dog, i'm--
go away, apo.
once again appreciate the efforts hoshino makes to show that being an exorcist is not a gift
246:
lavi cover art! :D
again, i feel like there's no way allen is remembering apocryphos in all this
ah, mana's alive
but not okay
very not okay.
no one is okay
allen taking on the role of caring for mana....ooof
neah: "'allen' will be my sign" and mana remembered the name allen as being important, even if he didn't remember why
mana forgetting everything...oh, my heart. that hurts.
i've known people that suffered from alzheimer's and i could see the pain and confusion in their faces, knowing they should know the people around them and they don't. mana is presented as having these little glimmers of remembrance but he doesn't appear disturbed by it, and so allen is left alone with understanding what mana is losing. it's so much gentler and it's still so...awful
and he's a child.
he's a child.
247:
back in the present
and we wrap things up in the spot where it all began
oh, i forgot about tiedoll being with them now
kanda getting fixated on whether mana's really dead?
we know he's the earl, why does it matter?
kanda "i know i'm being an asshole--" SELF-AWARENESS? FROM THIS BOY? OH MY WE HAVE GROWN!
kanda being the one to point out that allen's perception of events might not be the complete story is FASCINATING
I genuinely love that tho??
and i love his reasoning being that he didn't have the complete picture on alma, and when he did, it changed things for him
(and it really did--post alma karma arc kanda is still moody and an ass but he's also so much more considerate and open to listening, this is a boy who's found a measure of peace in his closure on alma, and perhaps he knows allen could use that too)
kanda has enough emotional objectivity to see what allen simply hasn't allowed himself to see, and i appreciate allen acknowledging that he hasn't wanted to doubt in mana--because would that doubt betray allen's memory of mana, and his love for mana?
and he's also accepting that kanda has a point
i love character growth
also glad allen's finally accepting help too, about time
hold up, Surprise Bitch needs to enter dramatically first
howard link, everyone (affectionate)
allen getting hungry when he sees link, that's some pavlovian shit right there
wait crap so much plot and information coming together, hold on
okay but we already knew that innocence had its own agenda and will turn on its accomodators when they no longer align with that agenda (suman dark/china arc!!), so the idea that a mobile, human-like form of innocence isn't your friend isn't new information
"innocence is god's crystal" and 'apocryphos being scarier than every other opponent' are two statements that are not opposing in any way
the angels come down from the heavens and say "Be Not Afraid" there's a Reason for that, kids
divinity is inherently terrifying compared to humanity
Awesome like inspires awe and Terrible like inspires fear, ya know?
(idk whether hoshino puts this stuff in knowingly or not, i don't know her knowledge/background on christian theology or if she's simply borrowing the aesthetics. i grew up christian, i can't help but see a deeper implication)
kanda and link *handshake* hating apocryphos
splitting up to tackle this from multiple angles, i love teamwork
kanda ragging on link can be so personal--
link being a little shit back can be so personal--
i appreciate link telling them why he's here, though
allen bro why are you pinching link's nose *cackling* what the hell
what a packed chapter, some good food right here
248:
lenalee cover art!!! *heart eyes* my girl!!!
we haven't had a good mirror session in a while
hi neah
wow, an actual conversation with neah
....WHAT.
MY FACE EXACTLY, ALLEN.
"you offered your body to me" i am in fact less surprised by that revelation than apocryphos remaking allen from the OG 35 years back
apocryphos can modify a whole lot more than memories, okay
short and impactful, goddamn
This whole chapter is less the shock of surprise as it is the shock of confirmation
all of this has been appropriately set up, and we are at the point in the story where all that set-up needs to, and finally is, beginning to pay off
249:
oh wow, i'm almost caught up
tiedoll sure secured them some nice digs, though
allen is wondering the same thing
oh, tiedoll's got a patron. i see.
"he's got loads of these" and, what, the church doesn't know about them? i call b.s.
what are the wider ramifications of tiedoll having private contacts from his side gig as an artist
but good for him
"like cross with his mistresses" "don't lump me in with that bastard" i knew i liked tiedoll for a reason
generals must have a LOT of leeway
that, or tiedoll and cross both know how to take maximum advantage of that leeway
i can see klaud also knowing how to take advantage but doubt we'll see any evidence of that
bye bye long hair allen, you will be missed
with the team splitting up we'll finally get to see lenalee and the rest of the order again! i'm so happy i miss them so much
we're going to a bookshop, you say?
anything to do with Bookmen??
johnny hugging kanda! kanda being kind (as he can be) back!!
my heart is full!!
allen taking one last look at kanda before they go
ALLEN THANKING KANDA
THAT WAS ROMANTIC AS FUCK AND I'M NOT A YULLEN SHIPPER
THE BACK-AND-FORTH BETWEEN MOTHER'S PRAYER SAYING GOODBYE TO ALLEN AND ALLEN SAYING GOODBYE TO KANDA I'M DISTRAUGHT
"even neah hasn't discovered the truth" who is that smiling how dare you end this chapter like that
250:
these last couple of chapters have been so much and we're being fed so well it was worth waiting 5 years to do one big catch-up
ooh link cover art
i love that the cover art is so vibrant lately - all of hoshino's ig content being so colorful too
alright, i took a walk, i got a drink, let's finish this
hey, some of the noah, long time no see
ohhh, creepy smiling guy is apocryphos, got it
why is apo ripped. *eye roll* was that necessary
we're gonna say something about why tyki looks like neah?
it is good to see other characters again, though
time for the noah themselves to get some much needed information, too *fades to black*
meanwhile
what's a little nighttime grave-robbing amongst friends
how did allen afford a casket and grave plot? it's not necessarily important but i am curious about it as it implies help or resources from somewhere or we aren't meant to think too deeply on that point, so whatevs i'll let it lie
"there's a possibility mana walker is still alive" yeah, cause he's the earl, this is not new information?
i don't understand why kanda is interested in this?
...
wait, do the characters know mana is the earl, or is this audience-only dramatic irony at work? as i think back on it, mana was forgetful when we first saw him with Road, as a human outside the earl suit
even when he's the earl he's not "himself" and road is seen being sad about his state. she's taken on the care of mana but i wonder now at her motives.
i think a series full reread is in order but not right now.
...wait hold up
how was mana made into an akuma if he was alive?
*squints* wait.
*stares into the void for a couple minutes before shaking myself out of it*
251:
last chapter! latest release, let's goooooo
"zoogles" are we....sure? about that spelling?
whatever, an official translation will figure that one out
"we zoogles are here simply to record events for the head of our clan" RECORD? CLAN??
CAN IT BE
IT IS
BOOKMAN CLAN LOREEEEEEE
"35 years ago when neah died two men disappeared without a trace" aaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHH
CROSS IS FORMER BOOKMAN JUNIOR I'M STICKING BY THIS
IT'S WHY HE AND LAVI BOTH HAVE THEIR RIGHT EYES COVERED IT IS CONNECTED
okay but think about it: the host has a protector, who abandons his mission for neah's goals. who's protected allen? cross. perhaps not at first, but cross learns soon who allen is and takes him in after mana dies, and proceeds to teach him and shelter him until he goes to the order. who introduces allen to mother and the little church where he recovers from mana's death? cross. who connects allen to the zoogle bookstore and the knowledge necessary to get an audience with the store owner? mother. how did mother know this? she and cross both are connected to the bookman clan. ergo: cross is bookman junior.
AND! UR-CANPY (the other little golem from the chapter when we first learn Katerina's name), LIKE YEAH GOLEMS AREN'T A NEAH-EXCLUSIVE, BUT IT REMAINS TOO CLOSE A NAME FOR COINCIDENCE
LAVI
Like it's just a reference image not a real return but MY BOOOOOOOOY
MY C H I L D
HE'S BEEN MISSING FOR 2/3 OF THE SERIES' TOTAL RUN, I'LL TAKE IT
the demand of the zoogles that all information they collect be firsthand knowledge is prudent, though. i see the logic
cause if allen can no longer trust his own memories of things as valid, no one else can entirely rely on his information as a means to act or protect themselves in the coming days
evil truth serum. convenient
zoogles are ruthless, huh.
i mean, honestly, so is bookman, so it fits
MORE FLASHBACKS AND THE FACE OF PAST BOOKMAN JUNIOR
IT'S ALL BEGINNING TO COME TOGETHER
AND THAT'S IT, WE'RE CAUGHT UP
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN 17 CHAPTERS, SO MUCH TO PONDER
reading dgm again is like coming home. i've experienced a roller coaster of emotions, and i can't wait to see what happens next.
this au has been sitting on my blog untouched for years and this year's reread finally got me to draw it
also lavi's wearing a polo bc i misrepresented him to my gf and now he's dressed like the most insufferable man alive
the conversation for those curious went as follows:
me: what should i make this character wear
gf: what's he like?
me, panicking bc im trying to describe him quickly and my brain isn't working: causes problems on purpose?
gf: a polo
gf: just like dirk strider
me, cry laughing: just like dirk strider
More random tropes that I fucking love: Becoming the mask you wore.
Like oh shit, this character who was sent to spy somewhere under a false identity suddenly realises they've started to genuinely become the person they claimed to be? Someone who's been telling the same lies about who they are for so long that they're actually forgetting that the story isn't true? Finding themselves genuinely doing the things they pretend to do in front of people, when they're alone and nobody's watching? Answering to a name that wasn't supposed to be theirs without thinking?
Ooohh-hoh-hoh, you lost track of yourself in pretending to be someone else? You were only supposed to impersonate somebody, a plausible background and a name you came up with on the spot, and now that the people you were supposed to infiltrate have become your true companions? You lost yourself in the game you played, and no you no longer know who you truly are, and where your true loyalties lie? And both sides would mark you a traitor if you came out with the truth. On a scale of one to ten, how bad did you fuck up.
Fuck that is a good trope. Never seen it done badly. Pour that shit on a table and I'll chop it into lines and snort it.
My Iconic Moment for the D.Gray-man 20th Anniversary Zine ch. 219 (but also 220 and 221)
Those chapters are insane, and honestly I cannot believe no one else wanted them before I snatched it up! (Maybe because they are... a lot)
From the beginning of the zine, I really wanted to draw the Earl. His design is just the coolest ♡ But then I was so excited to draw the Earl on a rampage that I completely forgot that this IM included the chapter long hug that is 219 AND Mana's existential crisis in 220 AND that stellar quote by mysterious glasses man in 221. I was having a field day playing with the themes and motifs, basically. I still want to play more with this "heart" of D. Gray-man ♡
clear bg version:
Bonus. Me reading the latest chapter (251) a week after submitting this:
"He is....."
"HE IS WHAT?????"
f in the chat. but, look, we still don't know his hair color tbh, and I kept his features vague, true to the chapter, and as mysteriously/menacingly team neah as possible its fiiiiiiiine. probaly could have made his hair a shade lighter but it’s fiiiiiiiiiiine.
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