it all comes down

after the war, what does the soldier become? eli touma. 29 years old. ex-sgt of the special forces command. busy bee greenhouse keeper.

[eli-touma]

( eleanor )

“Uhm, hi. ‘M sorry to bother you but have ya seen a silver cross necklace layin’ around here?” Eleanor had been looking around all afternoon, she’d only noticed her necklace was missing when one of her students pointed it out to her. She’d only been the the coffee shop that morning so she was hoping it was there. “It was a gift from my parents. I’m really hopin’ to find it.”

Eli had expected to get in and out of the coffee shop as quickly as possible. Despite being voluntold to go and get coffee for everyone on shift at the shop, he wanted to get back there as soon as possible but it seemed like everyone else had the same idea that he had and were trying to get their mid-afternoon caffeine fix too. He was getting ready to leave, a carry tray full of coffee orders in his hands with the woman stopped him.

Despite his obvious anxiety (it was more the crowd that was getting to him than needing to be back at the Busy Bee), he couldn’t just leave if she had asked him for help. “I haven’t. But do you need another set of eyes?” Eli offered.

[eli-touma]

( ronan )

“Bad lucks sucks,” Ronan agreed with a small laugh. “I mean you know, shit happens every now and again. Sometimes - hopefully more often than not -,” he smiled at the man near him, “you’ll meet someone who will help you along the way every now and again. Makes the riding it out part a little bit more bearable.” He eyed the stack of books the two of them had successfully brought to the table and it gave Ronan a reason to be curious. He noticed the librarian shooting them a stern look and, in an attempt to keep his voice down, turned his back to them before he said in a hushed tone, “What’s with all the books anyway? Are you studying for something? Looks pretty serious.”

Eli let out a low chuckle although there was nothing funny about what the other man had said. In fact, he was right - it was more optimistic than he was used to hearing. “I’d feel real bad for whoever ends up being that person for me.”

Although if he was being realistic about it, Nahla was technically that person. As much as he tried to be less of a burden for her, it was simply in her nature to be overly concerned about him despite how busy her own life could get. Eli couldn’t help but grimace at the question. “I’m trying to write a paper before I leave it till the night before. The rise and fall of the Russian Revolution is interesting shit, but it’s finding the motivation to do it that’s the problem.” He sighed, “I thought I’d be done with writing papers once I finished high school.”

[eli-touma]

( mari )

“Are you saying I don’t have enough love and admiration to throw around? Darlin’, if I wanna throw it, I’ll throw it, but that’s up to me.” He did chuckle as Eli went on, rolling his eyes playfully. “Yeah, ‘cause I wanna hang out with those people. Why do you want me dead, huh?”

“No? You’re lackin’ in confidence, I’m offended. I gotta a lot a’ heart, you know. I could make it a round or two if I really wanted.” He might end up actually in the hospital, but to prove a point? He was stubborn enough to go that far. “I don’t think so. I only offer compliments, never insults. I’m a sweet boy, you should know that by now.”

“I’m just saying some people might feel a little less loved and admired and others might feel too much of it,” Eli suggested as he shifted through yet another box unsuccessfully.

“Nah I’m just tryin’ to avoid having my new apartment turn into a crime scene. Emphasis on the new.” Well, newish, but no one would have known it considering how unlived in it looked. “Sweet’s one word for you, sure.” The next box yielded far better results, and a triumphant grin spread across Eli’s face as he extracted the first aid kit. “How about we try and stop the bleeding before we think about fighting again.”

[eli-touma]

( elodie )

“No, thank you, seriously – I’m good.” Elodie insisted, green– eyes almost desperately searching the surrounding area for an out. She didn’t feel like she was in danger from the man who had been trying to ask her out for the past ten minutes, but she was finished with the conversation ten minutes before it began. “I’m actually meeting someone, if you’ll,” she started, chewing her lower lip as she saw someone approaching. “Oh! There you are.” She exclaimed, smiling too wide and shifting her gaze in an almost plea to her hopefully would-be savior. “I was starting to think you weren’t gonna show.”

Last night’s lack of sleep combined with the busy day that Eli had wasn’t helping his concentration. He had somehow managed to lead himself to the bar again although he had no intention of drinking himself into a stupor. All he wanted was to lose himself in the bustle and din because it was a better alternative to the quiet of his apartment. But after a while his restlessness was getting the better of him, and his feet lead him out the door to some unknown destination - until he was stopped. It took him a beat to pick up on what was happening, but he was quick on the uptake after that. “Hey - sorry, I went inside looking for you so I guess we must have just missed each other.”

He looked pointedly at the other man who was bothering the woman before looking back at her to give her a reassuring smile. “Wanna head out? Don't wanna be late for that party.”

[eli-touma]

( ronan )

“Yeahhh,” Ronan laughed sheepishly. “Like I said, this has happened to me many times already. It’s mostly because I have the attention span of a peanut, so I don’t actually pay attention to where I’m going. I’m sure that’s not the case for you though - it’s just bad luck.” He spotted the nearest free table and took a few steps towards it, putting the stack of books he’d retrieved down in a neat pile. “It’s no trouble, by the way. I didn’t want to disturb you or anything, but I figured a little bit of help couldn’t hurt.” The times Ronan found himself in a situation similar to this one, most people left him to his own devices. “I figured the faster you get them back, the faster you can pretend it never happened. You know,” he let out a laugh. “Play it cool.”

“I’d almost rather have the short attention span. You can’t do much about bad luck apart from riding it out,” Eli mused as he followed the guy towards the table.” He let out a bit of a laugh as he placed the books as quietly as he could on the table. “I was the one disturbing the peace. I appreciate it though.” Almost as soon as he said it Eli swore he could feel the librarian’s eyes piercing holes into the back of his head, and he cleared his throat, lowering his voice. “Seriously.” 

[eli-touma]

( clarissa )

“Three times? God,” she groaned, covering her face with one hand. “Couldn’t sleep.” She replied curtly, wrapping her hands around the coffee cup to feel its warmth before taking a sip. “Well, it’s definitely not hot now.”

“Maybe you should have been paying more attention then,” Eli replied although it was a lot less harsh than it sounded. The lack of sleep could be for any number of reasons, but Eli didn’t want to assume anything. “Why not just ask them to make you another one? If not caffeine is caffeine, right?” 

[eli-touma]

( finley )

“… I think it might have been fifteen,” Finley answered seriously. That seemed like a fair enough assessment, though she couldn’t remember the exact number of times she’d done something that drove the librarian crazy. “Papers? Sounds boring.” She hadn’t had to worry about that since she graduated high school. She had wanted to move on to college, but her father had deemed it unnecessary.

“Russian Revolution?” It wasn’t that Finley wasn’t smart, she just… didn’t know much. She read romantic comedies, and she heard her father’s politics every now and then, but that was something she definitely didn’t know about whatsoever. Strangely enough, her curiosity was piqued. She wasn’t sure if she should be embarrassed about not knowing a thing about it, however. “… when was that?”

Eli’s eyebrows shot upwards at the solemn response, and caught off guard by the unexpected answer. “Guess I’m safe then,” he answered with a bit of a laugh, “I can’t make it a habit though.” He shrugged, shifting the books again in his arms. “I definitely didn’t miss them. It’s probably the downside to going back to school.” But he had needed to fill the excessive amount of time on his hands when he wasn’t at the flower shop and this did the trick fairly well. And if the military was still paying for it? Well, he’d be dumb not to complete a college degree.

“It’s usually referred to as singular, but they were actually a pair of revolutions that started in 1917,” he began almost automatically. He had been so immersed in it the past couple of weeks that he probably could have managed writing the paper without the books if he really wanted to. “The long and short of it is that it was the fall of the Tsar autocracy, and the beginning of the Soviet Union - I, er, sorry.” He said suddenly cutting himself short realizing that the young woman probably wasn’t asking for a history lesson. “I’ve been learning so much about it it’s all I talk about lately.”

[eli-touma]

( clarissa )

“I’m sorry, were you saying something?” Clarissa asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She was in a cafe and for some reason the coffee she ordered has yet to arrived.

“They called your name like three times, Wilson.” Eli replied half amused as he slid the coffee cup in front of the woman and slid across the seat from her. “Rough night?"

[ultimatekimkardashian]

“You remember too much,” my mother said to me recently. “Why hold onto all that?” And I said, “Where do I put it down?”

Anne Carson, The Glass Essay (via paradoxicalsentiments)

[eli-touma]

 ( oliver )

“I probably deserve the staring,” he said with a laugh, realizing just how ridiculous he probably had looked there on the sidewalk. “Definitely a weird night,” he agreed, as it had been for him too. He actually couldn’t recall how long ago he’d left the bar, he just knew that he had done it in search of the chips which he had successfully found. “Oh, yeah? You’ve been?” A sense of pride could be heard in his words, and he sat up a little straighter. He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t capable of running the place or anything; he had a legacy to uphold, and do right by, and this wasn’t typical behavior of him. He didn’t want it to be either. 

“First time out of the place in awhile, so I thought I’d make the most of it,” he explained with a slight smile. He’d offer his hand, but after being on the ground and eating chips, it’d probably be more rude of him if he did. “I’m Oliver. Or Oli. Or ‘that pizza guy,’ which I guess I’m most commonly known as. Not a bad title, considering everyone loves pizza, no?”

“Probably more than my aunt would like,” Eli admitted with a shrug. “It’s good stuff - don’t tell her though. She’ll be offended that I’m eating pizza and not her cooking.” In all fairness to Nahla, Eli didn’t want to be more of a bother than he already was. She still came into the flower shop some days with tupperware full of food for him to eat despite his protests.

“There’s no better way to celebrate than a bar parking lot and a bag of chips, right?” A bit of a smile twisted on Eli’s lips despite the heavy feeling in his chest that had been following him all day. “Eli. Nice to finally put a name to ya. But you could do worse. You could be that mopey weird guy, or the flower shop guy.” He motioned towards the chips in Oli’s hands, “Or that salt and vinegar chips guy.”

[eli-touma]

( scarlett )

“I don’t think I’m that much of a music expert either to be honest,”she said as she shrugged her shoulders, carelessly. She’d like to think she had a different variety of music taste, it depended on her mood and she didn’t just stick to one genre. “you know I think my first concert ever, crazy but I think it was Madonna she was amazing live”

“Madonna, huh?” There was some distant memory in the back of his mind of his mother listening to Madonna while she cleaned or folded laundry for other people in their tiny Bronx apartment. “Must have been a hell of a show.” He paused, tilting his head to the side in thought. “Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever been to a concert before.” 

[eli-touma]

( xavier ) 

                     “ move, move! out of the way, e-excuse me, move! ” xavier shouted at the top of his lungs to the people standing on his way as a man with a knife in hand chased him down the street. in his rush of adrenaline, he didn’t even care to acknowledge the looks people gave him when they saw a man dressed in nothing but a robe and his boxers running for his life. if he were an outsider, he too would think he looked beyond ridiculous. in retrospective, he shouldn’t have slept with a taken woman — that was his first mistake. his second mistake was laughing his arse off when her boyfriend showed up and his third one was punching him in the face when he threatened to kill him. at the time, he didn’t think he would actually try to kill him by hunting him down the street. just when he rushed around the corner, he was quick to jump over a fence and hide behind a tree. he couldn’t calm the wild beating of his heart under his chest, if he tried. as he tried to silence the rapid breathing coming off his mouth, he glanced around to see if his chaser was anywhere near. much to his amazement, he was not but there was someone else looking at him. “ is he gone? ”

Eli hadn’t slept well the night before and it showed on his face. The dark circles under his eyes probably spoke volumes about the nightmares that had plagued him - but that wasn’t saying much. Dark circles were the norm for him. Coffee probably wouldn’t help him look that much more awake, but maybe it would help him feel awake.

He had just stepped out of the coffee shop on the way to the Busy Bee when all of a sudden he was confronted with a man in nothing more than a robe and boxers. Eli stared at the man in shock, looking down at his coffee and then back at the man, unsure if he was still dreaming or not. “...Is who gone?” He was going to need more coffee.

[eli-touma]

( mari )

“Ding, ding, ding. We’ve got a winner!” Mari’s tone was as enthusiastic as he could muster in the moment. “Your prize is… my love an’ admiration. Congratulations. Not many people manage to get that in their life, ya know. You should feel special, darlin’.”

“… like fightin’ me? What kinda implication is that? Should I be worried?” He eyed the other skeptically, still just wiping blood away with the back of his hand and onto his shirt, never too elegant when it came to the aftermath of a fight. “Oh, uh… just bumped into a couple a’ old… well, I wouldn’t call ‘em friends, but we knew each other in college. I have no clue why they weren’t happy to see me, since I’m such a welcomin’ and charmin’ guy, but they didn’t make it past greetings. Sad for them, really.”

Eli pulled a face, but despite that another laugh was twisted from his lips however brief. “Pass. You can make someone else feel special - I don’t want to be the person that takes that feeling away from someone else. I’m sure there’s some sap out there that likes their apartment looking like an episode of CSI.”

“It’s whatever you make it. Don’t think you’re in any state to go a second round though.” As he shifted through the boxes, he couldn’t recall packing half of these things all those months ago. A sobering feeling began to creep across his shoulders and the back of his neck, and Eli knew it was only a matter of time before it settled in his stomach. He forced himself to turn back to the conversation at hand. He cast a somewhat skeptical glance over his shoulder. “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you sure you didn’t say something to rub them the wrong way?” 

[eli-touma]

( oliver )

Oliver had, embarrassingly enough, been talking out loud for a few minutes now. Not consistently, but whenever something popped into his head he decided to say it. It wasn’t because he expected a response from anyone, or necessarily even wanted to begin a conversation. He was just at that point where his self-restraint had taken a backseat and his dumb opinions were currently driving. He noticed someone noticing him, and there was something that felt familiar about the person - but he felt that feeling often. Seeing so many faces around his place made déjà vu an almost constant when he was out and about in Sterling.

“Hi,” he greeted, only because he was acknowledged. “Sorry, I was just… thinking. A little too loudly.” A half-embarrassed chuckle left his lips as he shrugged, sitting up on the curb more now that he was aware of just how comfortable he’d gotten on the cement. This wasn’t a thing that happened often, so it was pretty embarrassing that he let it be such a public thing this time. “I didn’t mean to bother you, man.”

“What -,” it was only then that Eli realized he had been staring. It wasn’t like the pizza guy (he thought his name was Newman. Or maybe Oliver? Eli didn’t really pay close attention to details around him anymore, and the pair had never been formally introduced) was some strange character he had never met before. In fact, he was one of those faces around Sterling that Eli could recognize right off the bat. Some nights (okay most) when he simply couldn’t be bothered with cooking or couldn’t stomach the thought of warming up another microwave dinner, Eli ordered pizza. It was easy and quick, and he knew it probably wasn't doing his body any favours, but Eli's level of care about his body was considerably lower than it had been before.

He shook his head and took a couple more steps forward, his hand moving to scratch the back of his head. “Nah I’m the one that should be apologizing for staring. It’s been...a weird night. That and I guess I’m not used to seeing you outside your pizza joint.”

[eli-touma]

( ronan )

Ronan’s job did not allow him a lot of free time and if he were completely honest with himself, he chose to be busy with work most of the time. He enjoyed being busy at work - it gave him a sense of accomplishment that would otherwise be absent from his every day life. Years ago he would’ve spent his free time mostly at the gym - like a walking cliché -, but he’d recently discovered that visiting the place more than six times a week was overkill, even for him. 

Sterling had changed slightly over the years as opposed to what Ronan remembered from when he was younger, but the library was not one of those changes. The moment he stepped into the vicinity, a feeling of familiarity washed over him and instantly brought him back to his tiny sugar cube - as he’d like to say it - years of appearing and disappearing in-between the bookcases. He enjoyed reading every now and again, but like most people always felt like he needed to partake in it more than he did. 

Ronan flipped through a hefty title - something about the history of Western Europe - when he heard a loud, almost rumbling noise. One that would certainly make any librarian burst out in panic, he imagined with a small smile. Normally he was the one causing the ruckus, but this time… He followed his ears to locate the sound and found the source rather quickly. Unable to bite a smile away, he quickly rushed over to help pick some books up off the floor. “Gotta love it when this happens, huh?” he smiled. “I’d say you’re being pretty optimistic though - this is a pretty intense looking pile. I could help you set these down somewhere if you want?”

Eli had since recovered and by the time Ronan found him, he was hurrying to rectify the mess he had made. A bit of a strangled laugh left his mouth. “Dropping a heavy pile of history books in a quiet library is probably one of my favourite things.” He adjusted the heavy stack of books in his arms and was surprised that he hadn’t dropped them on his foot. That was just the kind of luck he was used to having these days, but he guessed he should count his blessings when he could.

“The rise and fall of the Russian revolution was intense. Guess the books on it had to live up to its reputation too, right?” Taken aback by the offer, Eli visibly hesitated but was quick enough to recover. “I appreciate that. I wasn’t set up anywhere yet, so wherever works.” He paused. “Sorry to bug you by the way. I don’t usually make a habit of dropping books.”

[eli-touma]

( finley )

Reading was something Finley considered a guilty pleasure. Growing up, it was always something necessary, but never enjoyed, among her classmates. She did agree most of the time - no one ever waned to read something they felt forced to do, especially groups of stubborn teenagers, but eventually she felt herself curious enough to venture into the world. It became a safe place for her, when she curled up and forgot her surroundings in order o focus on the world she was entering through a book.

Sure, she could read on her phone, but… it never did feel the same. A few desperate times she’d read them on her phone, but more often than not she was venturing out to the local library, trying to keep her head down and quickly get in and out with her cheesy teen romances and finally feel like she could breathe again.

Of course she was close enough to the other dropping her books that she’d look like a total asshole and inevitably draw more attention to herself by not helping out. It was what made her finally kneel down, scooping up the few history books and reluctantly peering up at the other. “Here you go. Be careful. I dropped a book once and nearly got banned.” Granted, she’d not been as careful with the books in general back then - dropping them was more of a final straw. “… do you just read history books, or is this for something specific?” Her tone was judgmental, whether she meant for it to be or not.

"Was it a three drops and you’re out kind of thing?” he asked as he accepted a couple of the history books back into his hands with a look of mixed gratefulness and embarrassment on his face. “I still have papers I need to write so...”

Reading had become something of a comfort for Eli growing up. It was any wonder he had time to sit down and properly read though - he had always been sprinting from one place to the next, or being moved from one camp to the next. Finding the time to read had been a complete luxury, and they weren’t the easiest or lightest things to carry around either. 

If there was one thing good thing that had come from his recovery months, it had been the excessive amount of time he had to fill with things like reading books. He’d finished a handful, and had several on the back burner while his classes ramped up, but Eli couldn’t say he minded. History was fascinating for him and it was still reading, so in his mind it was a win-win. Still, with what had just happened Eli could feel himself becoming more self conscious about it than he normally would be. “Both I guess? Depends on the day. These are just for a paper - I’ve gotta write about the life and death of the Russian Revolution.” 

[allanedwardhinton]