[This story is just for that one reader.]

honestly what I post completely depends on whatever my current hyperfixation is • currently obsessed with the stormlight archive • cr: wind and truth • she/her

[enby-life]

💛reminder that on this blog we respect aces and aros or we get fucking blocked💛

[itsrahb-deactivated20260522]

Fitz: busts early, stabs a rat

Jinna: I've always wanted to sleep with a Witted guy. dw you're one of the good ones.

Fitz: wow fuck you i'm leaving.

Starling: what's up FitzFaggotry Farqueer?

Fitz: what the fuck oh my god what the fuck die

Starling: you could've hit this but byeeeeeee

Fitz: Fool, you want to have sex with me???

The Fool: not saying no but have you heard of the Split Attraction Model.

Fitz: i fuCKING KNEW IT HOW DARE YOU

The Fool: you're a bad lay babe, I want your soul.

Fitz: what

The Fool: collapses

This all took place in less than 12 hours.

[neatbay]

fitzchivalry:

chade @ baby fitz:

lord golden:

tom badgerlock:

assassin’s quest road trip:

chivalry @ burrich:

regal farseer:

burrich:

fitzchivalry (again):

kettricken:

[chatlot-charles]

for once i actually noticed this the first time i read it but rereading/relistening to the golden fool is both hilarious and painful because SO many people are calling fitz gay. all of them. everyone. that charl guy in the shower. blade kind of. dutiful. civil. that one guy who hits on fitz and COPS A FEEL. and fitz registers zero of it. doesn’t so much as blink when people say special servant. “who r u” “lord golden’s man” “wow… i bet u r. a kept man. a *special servant*” “yes i am his special servant im a bodyguard too”

he’s so dense. i’m going to cry at some point i can feel it

[lostdaughterofgallifrey]

The Wolf of the West doesn't have wings. It is the only stone dragon without them. Fitz, Beloved, and Nighteyes may have taken the road of so many before them, but they carved a wolf not a dragon. The wolf of the west can't be summoned to the defense of the Six duchies like the other dragons. Fitz was the changer and he changed the cycle ever so slightly into a better path

[cayenne-peppers]

top 5 most characters of all time in rote:

5. mage grey. hot take but that was fucking hilarious. 'yeah this is uh. a wizard. no he's normal I swear ignore the tortured look to him, that's just how Jamaillians look'

4. lant -- existed solely to fuck his sister, bully a 9 y/o, and make his father disappointed. funny if ineffectual

3. august -- first mentioned when regal is trying to kill a six year old. does nothing of note, encourages suicide, goes crazy and fucks off to withywoods to die

2. jek -- was hot, was horny, got her hand cut off and immediately became a spy. wannabe lesbian would be 1000% more character with a strap

1. fitzchivalry farseer himself. battle-hardened assassin who sucks ass at his job. canon mpreg but also the embodiment of no homo. totally fine with transgenderism, just wishes his boyfriend was less annoying as his girlfriend. best sex of his life was magic 5-way sex with a wolf. second best was his bf touching his wrist and he hid under a table after. plan A is always fuck it we ball and plan B is always suicide. 10/10 no notes most character of all time

[freakcliff]

lord golden tom badgerlock rumors are kind of hilarious to think about like so everyone at buckkeep saw tom badgerlock and was like that guy would make a horrible manservant but at least hes got a fat ass nice tits and a killer face card

[freakcliff]

less people would be surprised to learn that lord golden had a horrible crush on his manservant than that lord golden liked him for his Personality

[orpheeeeus]

i love him but fitz (on his own) would be like the worst choice for a time travel fix it. My boy can't fix shit. First thing he’d do if sent to the past would be to bite someone and/or faint. And then he would make everything worse

and yeah it’d be the same even if nighteyes came back with him because even if the wolf actually knows what he’s doing he's sadly not so politically inclined. And he’s a wolf

yeah, the fool could come back with them but like time travel fix it is literally the fool's thing in canon so he either sucks at it or he's really good and the alternate future was reeeaaally shitty and it wouldn't be fair on him to put him through a fix it for a second time

[lunamond]

Saw this trend on tiktok and couldn't help thinking of them 💔

[tintagliat]

Kettricken in the Assassin’s Apprentice comic!

[swagspren]

Fitz: I am not in love with the fool like that

Also Fitz, writing down his story: let the record show The Fool kissed me on the lips here

Picking up his pen and thinking for 10 no homo seconds before adding

“Also when we skill link I turn and open to it like it is my lovers mouth upon mine”

[handweavers]

fitzchivalry farseer moodboard #2

[tintagliat]

Yes, Lirin, what a wonderful thing to say to your very much suicidal son! I'm sure this will have no horrible consequences 🙂

[becomeyourownwolf-blog]

I’ve reached Fitz’s wolfy recovery days in my ROTE reread and oh my god Madame Hobb you will be hearing from my lawyers

[sonacava]

another day another tortured beloved

[roostercrowned]

it's tradition now

[tintagliat]

! Major spoilers for Oathbringer & Iron Widow !

Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

Iron widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

If I had a nickel of every time the great reveal in a book was that the humans were the invaders and their enemies native to the land, I’d have two nickels, but it’s weird that it happened twice right?

[tintagliat]

Throuples could’ve been a similarity as well, if only Sanderson wasn’t a coward 😔