A line from John Green’s ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ caught my attention months ago while reading the book. It says, “…oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been turned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll have…” It made me think. It made me ask myself. Every time the clock ticks, every single sleepless night, every coffee we drink to make us feel awake during the mornings, it will not matter someday. If so, if we will all just end up in oblivion, why do we even live? If everything we do in life will all be in vain because the world we live in will disappear one day, why do we even bother?
A few months ago, if somebody would ask me the question, ‘why do you even exist,’ I will blink at him multiple times and tell him, “I do not know.” I never really knew the answer to that question. That was a point in my life when it felt like my life was going nowhere when even I do not know what I really wanted to do in my life. Those months were the moments when everything that happened in my life was just a blur, when there were no ups and downs in my life, and I was only accepting whatever comes my way. When I felt like a robot, doing the things that society expects me to do because I have to. Those were the times when I felt the emptiness in my heart. Those were the times when I have lost my appetite to live. Within those months, I kept thirsting for the things that would keep me occupied. Those months were the months I spent searching for happiness and fulfillment in life. And, please, let me tell you that it was not a pleasant feeling. It was searching for a river in a dry, hot desert.
Anyway, after nights of contemplating, I was finally enlightened. It all ended while I was attending a Sunday service. As Christians, the pastor said that aside from glorifying our Creator, we exist to be the salt and light in this corrupted and flawed world for our brethren. We exist to heal and make other people’s lives spiced up while living on earth. We exist to enlighten them and lead them to the right path. When I heard that, things just clicked into the right places in my mind. I realized that people bother because they have to help each other get through life and enjoy living the blessing of life together. Because these people know that living is a privilege and they have to cherish it - they just have to live it. Even if everything on earth will just end up in oblivion, it was, at least, worth living, and that there would be something good that would happen to them in an afterlife.
Indeed, searching for one’s purpose in life is not as easy as counting from one to three. Or reciting the alphabet from A to Z. But once you have found it, and I would like to put it in Charles Bukowski’s words, “It was like the beginning of life and laughter. It was the real meaning of the sun.”
Finding one’s purpose is the real beginning of life. It is like being brought back to life from the abyss of emptiness. It was like seeing the ocean for the first time after living for years in the desert. As for me, I believe that my purpose in life is to radiate happiness and love to the people around me and share the beauty of life, inspire them, and help them heal their pain.
To those who are yet to find their own purpose in life, do not worry. Be patient because that time will come. To those who have seen the essence of their existence in life, I know that the road will get rough from time to time, but do not give up. Knowing your purpose is like looking at the sunrise the moment you see it: you have to enjoy it and cherish it. You have to live it. Live ‘The Life.’
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