I know how to tap a vein

Elijah || 24 || Patient Kind of ironic, isn't it? Just weeks ago I was on the opposite side of this whole shit show. I know how observant a lot of you are, so feel free to ask any questions about it if you want to or have to. However, don't expect an exact answer from me on any of them. For the most part, landing myself actually checked into this place is because of a major fuck up on my part. Lesson learned. If only it wasn't the hard way.

[elijahoakley-blog]

xo-rileysummers:

I’’ll probably be old and like, totes not hot anymore by the time it’s made. Pff… Yea, Aiden, he’s like super hot and also nice. I like him a lot. Um, his name is Lucas, and he only likes cuddling, I think. He told me no when I offered him a blowjob, so… Maybe he just likes girls or something, I dont know. Ooh, you think so? Does that mean that you’d make out with me then, Dr. Oakley? What did you mess up? Did it make you sick? ..You really mean that? Well, I can still talk to you about stuff, if that makes you happy. I won’t tell on you.

You and me both, bud. Yea, he’s pretty easy on the eyes, I’ll agree to that. The nice part is argumentative though, depending on what day you catch him. Oh, right, Lucas. I was talking to him earlier. He seems nice, some people just need to be weaned into that kind of stuff, you know? Or yea, maybe he does just like girls. Um, well, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I don’t know if that would be a good idea though. I messed up Mason, and driving, and a lot of other things... yea, they seem to think so. I guess they aren’t wrong. Sure, we can talk whenever you like. Just as long as you promise me you’ll also talk to your therapist.

[elijahoakley-blog]

xo-rileysummers:

I guess that makes sense… kinda sucks that stuff like that takes so long, though. Okay, I believe you.. it does, a little bit.. but people here are different  then those at my school. This new guy.. um, well I guess he’s not really new.. either way, he’s pretty hot. And this other new guy is too but he doesn’t like making out. A lot of people are like that in here… it makes me sad. Do you think it’s because they think I’m not hot enough?? Why don’t you work here anymore, Dr. Oakley? Didn’t you like being a therapist and stuff? I don’t blame you.. it seems totes boring, listening to people talk all day… when those people aren’t me, I mean.

Of course it makes sense, since it’s the truth and actually how this stuff works. Yea, I know. Maybe one day in the future it’ll be easier to make things like that. Of course not, everyone’s gonna be a little different. Especially in a place like this. Are you talking about Aiden? Because he’d probably be down. What other new guy? I’m sure with a little convincing you could change their minds, just gotta try. Oh no, of course not. I’m sure they all think you’re adorable. They’re just a little slow in realizing it. I did, yea, I actually was starting to enjoy it a lot. I don’t work here anymore because I messed up really bad, Riles. So, now I’m a patient here. It’s not, really. It’s actually rather interesting. Especially when it’s people like you. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

xo-rileysummers:

Okay, but like, why can’t you? There’s like pills and medicine for other stuff, right? Why can’t you invent something for my problem so I can go home to my family? It will be a lot faster like that, and you would help yourself too and stuff. I tried to get like comfortable and stuff, but it’s just like so different, you know? Maybe I just need to like, find some more people to make out with and stuff? What do you think? I don’t know, I don’t like talking about it… Can’t you be my therapist, Dr. Oakley? Since I already told you and stuff. Oh, I’m sorry… that must make you really sad too. 

Because it’s not as simple as that. Even if I were able to make you a medicine, it wouldn’t be ready for consumption as soon as you’d like for it to be. In fact, it would take a rather long time before it’s usable. So, it actually wouldn’t be faster at all. It’ll get easier after a little while, trust me. Maybe, yea. If that’s what’ll make you feel at home then go for it. I can’t be, Riley, I’m sorry. I don’t work here anymore. If I did I would take you on, but unfortunately I do not... you could say that, yea. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

xo-rileysummers:

But you doctors are like super smart, right? So how come you haven’t figured it all out? And like, found some kind of medicine to stop them from happening? Oh.. but what if I don’t really want to adjust? I kinda just wanna go back… and if I do this adjusting stuff then it will be totes weird when I go home. Okay… I guess I can tell you since you’re a doctor and stuff… I always see the same scary thing… my sister… and she’s hurt really bad… and there’s a lot of blood… Are… Are yours like that too, Dr. Oakley?

That’s the stigma that surrounds us, yea. And because, we haven’t come across any concrete research supporting nightmares. Dreams, sure, but not nightmares yet. And you can’t stop dreams and nightmares from happening, that’s not how that works. You can’t, unfortunately. You gotta stay here. It won’t effect how you feel at home, it’ll only make you more comfortable here. I’m sorry, Riley. That does sound really frightening. You should bring that up to your assigned therapist, okay? They can help you out a lot... Yes, I do. Not about your sister, but scary things about someone I love a lot too. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

xo-rileysummers:

They are, I totes don’t like them at all… I don’t know why I keep having them. Do you really think that’s the reason? But like, maybe that means I should just go home then.. because then I won’t be sick anymore, right? Oh… it was about a really bad thing… really scary… I don’t know if I should tell you.. Do you have nightmares too when you’re awake or something, Dr. Oakley?

I don’t think anyone really likes nightmares, Riles. Or know where they actually comes from or why we have them. No, that means maybe once you’re fully adjusted to living here they’ll go away... You’re not sick, you just need a little guidance. That’s up to you, I’m here for you if you want to talk about it. No matter how bad or scary... Yea, something like that. I have really scary ones too, and sad ones. 

[xo-rileysummers-blog]

I just had one of those weird scary dreams again… You know, like, the dreams you have when you’re awake? I really don’t like those… and now I feel like totes scared and lonely and stuff. I wish I was home… I didn’t dream like that at home…

[elijahoakley-blog]

Yikes, I hate when that happens. Sometimes nightmares are the worse things to deal with. Wanna talk about yours at all? It might help you feel better about it. And, you know, the new setting you’re in right now could possibly be what’s bringing them on; just a thought anyway. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

Sure… bring out the therapist bullshit… What you quacks don’t understand about us can fill a library, trust me. I’m not trying to comfort you, I’m telling you like it is. Some of us aren’t meant to get better. Some of us aren’t meant to be saved. That’s the cold hard truth… and the sooner you learn that, the better it will be for your own peace of mind, doc.

I’m not bringing out that whacked out therapist bullshit. I’m saying what I did because I knew him. I was with him in those last few days. It’s nice and dandy that that might help you feel better about his death but it’s not the way it goes. I was saving him, and he would have gotten better if I didn’t cut his life short. That’s the reality you want to pick for yourself then fine but don’t pawn it off on him... and stop calling me that. I’m not a doctor here anymore. I never will be again. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

Don’t be sorry… it’s what he wanted… even if he didn’t do it himself, it’s what he wanted… He’s happy right now. He’s free, doc….

I’m glad….

He’s not free. And I doubt he wanted to be dead. Nor is he happy about it. It’s nice you’re trying to put some comforting words to this situation but that’s not how it was. Him being gone is not a good thing so don’t try to equate it to as much. He was making progress, and he was happy, and... I’m sorry, but this wouldn’t have been what he wanted. So don’t. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

…..Crashed?

…..Did he die happy?

I’m sorry, so sorry. It’s all my fault, I apologize...

I like to think he did.

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

…..Not suicide? So, he didn’t wanna die?? What… What do you mean… how did he die?? Dammit, Oakley! Just tell me!

I’m sorry, it’s just... talking about it is hard for me... uh, see, we were on the outside, right? And everything was going okay, we were doing okay. One night we went out to get some drinks and go dancing and stuff, you know, like he used to like to do.... I drove us home drunk and crashed and.... I’m sorry. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

…..He died??? What……….. So he.. he actually did it then? Killed himself…. I…. How… in here??? No fucking way… you’re.. you’re kidding, right?

He did. I’m not joking. And no, it wasn’t suicide.... we were outside. I got him out, snuck him out. Something stupid happened... I’m sorry, Aiden. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

Exactly, deciding when you can eat and what time you wake up is just incredibly overrated. Well no, they didn’t? Then again, I didn’t really give a shit about it either. Out of sight, out of mind, you know? Wait, did McCarthy actually get released? So, sleeping with the staff actually does help with getting out of this place? Good to know, very good to know. But that’s gotta suck for you, that the first thing he did when he was out was dump your ass. Must be a  bitter pill to swallow, doc. But you know where to find me if you need some comfort, right?

Aiden, Mason didn’t break up with me. And he didn’t get released. Okay, well... he did. But like... he died. He passed away. I’m sorry that this is how you heard, I really am... but he passed away two and a half months ago...

[elijahoakley-blog]

aiden-harper:

Doing great, doing fan-fucking-tastic, like I told little Arty just now. What’s better than getting locked up again after four months of freedom, honestly? Ha… you do that, Oakley. Not sure how your actual favorite patient would feel about that, though, and I actually didn’t intend on being on the receiving end of McCarthy drama on my first day. A new flake? And is he even flaker and lazier than you and Muppet man? Well… is he hot, at least?

Right of course, I thought you might be. Nothing, really? I mean, who needs free will and the ability to do things without people breathing down your neck 24/7? That’s right, not us.... Oh. Aiden... Did no one get in contact with you? They promised me all of his friends would be contacted. I knew I should have just did it myself, these people are so fucking incompetent I just... ugh... Mason’s not here, Aiden. Uh, I guess. I haven’t spoken to him. 

[aiden-harper]

Guess who’s back, back again…. Yes, indeed, it’s your favorite crazy/beautiful patient, the one and only Aiden Harper~ I know you all must have missed me a lot, so feel free to hop by my room to ‘reconnect’, babes. Anyways, which one of you lucky doctors has the honor to try to cure me this time around? I have high hopes, Dr. Langley, so you better not disappoint and assign me to that muppet and his ugly troll assistant again. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

Well well, look who it is. I’d say welcome back, but I doubt you want to be back in this hellhole. How ya doing, Harper? I might have to drop in for a little bit of reconnecting myself... kidding, obviously. And don’t worry about muppet man, pretty sure he’s swamped and drowning in all the work he doesn’t do. There’s a new flake that works here now, fair heads up about him. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

Disregard any and all posts before this one.

[brokenkhummel]

You get a cat, which i’m contemplating on getting again. I lost my old cat a while back. I will need to ask Mr. Schuester though.

We can hang out if you want? We never talked before.

[elijahoakley-blog]

I’m not really a cat person, I kinda just put up with them for my friends and so on that have them. What happened to your old cat? If you don’t mind me asking, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem with it. After all, there’s dogs and cats all over this place. What’s one more to add to the mix, right?

Oh, yea, sure, if you’d like to. What, uh, kind of hanging out goes on around here? We have, once... a while back. 

[elijahoakley-blog]

You know, I can see why you guys can get sick of this place so easily. I think I’ve spent so much time in my bedroom that it feels like the walls are literally suffocating... how do some of you deal with this?