Doom & Gloom

I'm Elanor. Ghost. But let's keep that between us.

[chasebeckett]

Where's Mommy?

[chasebeckett]

  Why are you crying?

[ellainw0nderland]

Because you forgot we had sex!

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Is it just me...

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[ellainw0nderland]

Nodding, Ella's hips continued to sway. She agreed with Saralei. "Yeah, m-me too..." she breathed out, her eyes fluttering shut. Ella loved the feeling of Sara's lips on hers... in more ways that one. 

Once her tongue slid inside her, Ella's hand flung to the back of the girls head and she unconsciously tangled her fingers in her hair, wiggling her toes and chewing on her lower lip.

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Is it just me...

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[ellainw0nderland]

Ella felt her insides bubbling, the skin beneath her panties burning like a thousand suns. She was aching for more, but did not want to resort to begging. However, if Saralei kept the teasing up much longer, she would have to give in.

Sitting up straight, Ella widened her eyes and nodding quickly. "Yeah, yeah," she agreed, practically panting. 

Then, she felt Saralei's lips against her bare crotch, and she let out a low growl, slamming her head back against the pillow. Ready was an understatement; she was practically drowning.

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Is it just me...

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[ellainw0nderland]

Ella watched Saralei's every movement with eager eyes. She didn't know much about this girl, but she was sure that she knew what she was doing. A beautiful little thing like her must have eaten lots of women before.

Biting roughly on her lower lip, Ella felt her entire chest tighten. She was almost growing impatient. But just when she was about to say something, she felt the girl's tongue through the thin fabric. Her hips arched up immediately, a faint moan slipping off of her lips.

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Is it just me...

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[ellainw0nderland]

Nodding with understanding, Ella arched her back off of the bed, giving the girl enough space to do what needed to be done. As her chest was completely exposed, began to feel a little self-concious. She was never comfortable with her body, but if two people were aroused by it, maybe it wasn't all that bad.

She giggled at Sara's struggle with her own bra, and just when she was about to assist her, it was off and across the room and Ella had a perfect view of what was hidden beneath it. Biting her lip, she let out a soft sigh through her teeth. 

Taking in a quick breath as Sara's breath hit her ear, Ella lifted her hips off of the bed, a chill spreading through her body. She could feel a burn between her legs, her body practically screaming. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Ella stared at the ceiling, taking in deep breaths. "I-I'd like that..." she whispered.

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Is it just me...

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[ellainw0nderland]

Ella raised an eyebrow at Sara's comment, eyeing her breasts. "I think they're great," she shrugged, nibbling on her lower lip. Sure, Ella had never paid much attention to people's chests, but she definitely liked what she saw on the girl hovering above her. 

Letting out a soft breath, Ella leaned her head up a bit and began to press a few kisses on Saralei's neck, not hesitating to leave a couple lovebites now and then.

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Is it just me...

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Saralei hovered there for a moment, just staring down at that little face and admiring the rather unstereotypically attractive features, trying to focus on them rather than the heat that was pressing against her left thigh. It was safer that way, she knew she couldn’t release the kink bomb right here right now, so she had to pull herself away completely and jump to her feet-not even bothering to fix her top that had risen to reveal her abdomen or her disheveled locks.

"I made the bed into a fort with all of the blankets I brought with me," She told her with an almost excited grin on the moment, she was an odd mixture of a girl even she knew that. She could be childish at the same time as being incredibly turned on. 

And with one final tug of her new companion’s hand she was practically dragging her back inside to the second floor bedrooms, relaxed and serene on the outside but on the inside she was bubbling like a volcano ready to erupt.

[ellainw0nderland]

As Ella rose to her feet, her knees grew very weak. She could not contain her desires much longer, and only hoped that the walk to the bedroom would not be too long. 

A giggle spilled off of her lips at the girls comment. It really showed that Saralei was an unusual character when she said such things, and Ella adored that. She had never been childish and fun in the way the petite blond did, and she almost envied that.

Once they reached their destination, Ella let out a low growl. "Cute," she whispered, looking around the room and admiring its contents. Only Saralei could make a hospital bed more... at home. So, without hesitation, Ella lay down upon it, dragging Saralei on top of her and wasting no time in throwing her shirt to the side. 

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Is it just me...

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Saralei would certainly not hold back the thoughts that she was having at the moment, her free hand voicing one of them as it trailed to her waist, her hips voicing the other as they shifted so their legs were tangled together in a very close embrace. 

One that was not a very wise decision. She was easily aroused, always had been, always would be.

Not yet, not yet, for heaven’s sake woman keep it together. Her thoughts seemed to shout at her anatomy as the more intimate part of it fought so desperately to rub against that thin thigh, desperate for some friction. But her thoughts won, her fingers that were teasing the fabric of her top came to a stop as she knew that if she felt that soft skin she’d never be able to stop before she had her writhing underneath her and felt that blissful contact of sweat and skin-on-skin.

Then she pulled back.

"I don’t really give a shit what people think about me, but that doesn’t mean I want to be watched having sex and not get paid for it," 

That wasn’t blunt at all.

[ellainw0nderland]

Their bodies rubbing against one another in perfect rhythm made Ella's mouth water. She didn't know Saralei all that well, but she did know that if she teased her, Ella would not hesitate to resort to begging. The way her hands trailed up and down her body only made her skin ache for more, and once their legs tangled together, Ella felt a familiar sensation between them.

Taking in deep, unneeded breaths, Ella swallowed the lump in her throat, her hands ghosting along Saralei's back. When she pulled away, Ella groaned in slight frustration.

But then she understood. They were not in the most private of locations.

"Do... do you..." Ella whispered, nibbling on her lip. "Do you want to go, like, get a room, or?"

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Is it just me...

[tithes1]

To say that Saralei was shocked by this action would  be an understatement, she was positively shitting a brick. It wasn’t as if she had never kissed a girl before, in fact she had done much more than that in those two months she had spent with her family in Cannes. Her father had brought them done their for business and while her mother sat patiently as ever in the room, she went about and did some business of her own. 

It was the fact that Ella had actually kissed her that made her body retreat, she had kissed her without Sara giving her anything in exchange for it. The postman had brought her the French cigarettes that smelled like vanilla in exchange for a flash of her Mickey Mouse panties and a fool around behind the dumpster. Ella hadn’t made any arrangement for her.

So she did the worst possible thing that she could have done in that moment, she cupped her cheek and applied pressure of her own against those plump lips, it was infectious.

[ellainw0nderland]

Inside of Ella's body was a cocktail of emotions. Her stomach was practically vibrating, her chest was tightening, and her head felt as if it were going to burst. Saralei's lips felt so soft and tasted so irresistible; it made Ella wonder why she hadn't tried this before.

Sure, she had looked at girls with envy, but never considered the sex to be anything she could have fun with. Of course, Ella hadn't even been interested in boys during her human years. One hundred percent virgin she was back then, yet in the course of a few days, she will have slept with two different people; one male, one female. One dead, one very much living.

Whoa. Whoa. Slow down. Was she actually thinking about having sex with this girl?

Yes. Of course she was. And she shouldn't be afraid to admit that.

Tangling her fingers in the girl's golden locks, Ella swayed her hips and wrestled their lips together, shutting out her thoughts and savoring the moment.

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Is it just me...

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Saralei’s face screwed up in confusion as she watched Ella’s little panic attack take place, why was she this set on trying to convince her not to do it? Sure there was the factor that was dead and clearly didn’t like it, but why did she care if Sara ended up feeling the same? They’d just met.

"Hey, hey don’t get all teared up over nothin’," She leaned over the slender girl’s body and gently wiped away the tear with the base of her thumb, leaving her hand to rest on her cheek as she gave her a small but hopefully comforting smile, again, she wasn’t used to being the comforter.

“I decided not to do it ages ago, it was too much hassle,"

She hadn’t even considered how close the proximity between them was. She was a touchy feely person, always had been and always would be.

[ellainw0nderland]

A familiar sensation spread through Ella's body as Saralei brushed against her skin. She stared at her lips as she spoke, watching the way her tongue caressed the roof of her mouth when she said "all". And the way her lips puckered out at the pronunciation of "do".

Now, Ella had never questioned her sexuality before, but now, with a beautiful girl just inches away from her, she was. After everything that had happened in the past fifty years, she figured she deserved a little... experimentation.

So taking in a deep breath, her eyes fluttered shut, and she ever so gently caressed her lips against Sara's.

[chasebeckett]

Where's Mommy?

[chasebeckett]

What did we do?

[ellainw0nderland]

We... We...

You seriously don't know?

[tithes1]

Is it just me...

[tithes1]

The grin that had formed slowly disintegrated at Ella’s answer, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear at all. It certainly put a dampen on her plans-wait, no, no plans. Not yet. Slow and steady, that’s what Mister always said.

But still, damn.

"Looks like suicide is out of the picture then, I might as well be able to breathe when I suffer, but Mister said that the pain would end if I did it…perhaps I misunderstood him, he is always right about everything after all, you’d like him, he’s old fashioned but liberal-amazing," She gushed, the smile slowly returning at the thought of her long term friend, now she had two friends-God, life was good.

[ellainw0nderland]

Ella's eyes widened at the idea of suicide. Oh, why would Saralei consider such an awful thing? Sure, life was difficult, but death was positively worse. Having your life taken from you is one thing, but willingly giving it up? The thought made Ella shiver. 

"Listen to me, Sara," Ella whispered, gazing into the girl's eyes with as much seriousness as she possibly could. "You do not want to die here. Once you do, you're stuck. You can't leave. I've been trapped here for so long. You need to get better and get out of Stygian, okay? This place is... awful. You don't want to spend eternity in it."

Ella felt a tear slip down her cheek. She didn't even realize how worked up she was getting. 

[chasebeckett]

Where's Mommy?

[chasebeckett]

My name’s Ashton.

Sorry. Sorry. 

[ellainw0nderland]

No, it's Chase. You're Chase.

Don't you remember me? Don't you... remember what we did?

[chasebeckett]

Where's Mommy?

[chasebeckett]

Please don’t yell at me…Please?

You’re going to hit me? Please not the face

[ellainw0nderland]

Oh, shut up, Chase, I know you can handle it. You've done worse.

No, I'm not going to hit you. I'm not stupid.

[tithes1]

Is it just me...

[tithes1]

Saralei couldn’t help the victorious grin that spread across her lips as their fingers intertwined, her eyes lit up when Ella seemed to give in whatever was trying to push her away from her world of wonder. It was no fun adventuring on your own after all. That didn’t mean what she asked of her in return didn’t spook her.

"I have no reason not to believe you," She simply replied because she truly hadn’t, this girl was one of the few people that hadn’t turned against her yet. 

But despite the relaxed atmosphere what Ella had said had struck her curiosity.

"Can you feel pain when you’re dead?”

[ellainw0nderland]

The empty feeling inside of Ella's chest vanished at Saralei's answer. Finally, a human that didn't think Ella was crazy. Finally, someone she could trust. Finally, someone that wasn't going to run away.

At least Ella hoped not.

Nibbling on her lip at the question, she nodded just slightly. "It's not as bad," she began, brushing her thumb across the girl's porcelain skin. "But, yes. Emotional pain, on the other hand, is ten times worse."

[tithes1]

Is it just me...

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Saralei watched the changing looks on her companions face, seeing it screw up like someone was sticking a blunt needle into her upper arm and was refusing to give in until it broke the skin. She wanted to comfort her, she honestly and truly did, she just didn’t have any idea how to. It seemed like such a foreign concept to her. Comforting someone, she had never had to do it before, usually it was Mister that was comforting her. 

But she had read about it, so she took the first simple step and gently placed her hand on Ella’s wrist, her thumb brushing against the top of the distressed girl’s hand. She kept her touch light, she didn’t want to frighten her away.

"How could I not believe in something that exists? That’s like asking if I believe in bees," She scoffed at the mere thought of such a possibility, how could someone not believe in the existence of bees?

[ellainw0nderland]

At the girl's touch, Ella gasped, her eyes flying open. It was soft; comforting, even. It reminded her of Chase. Oh, Chase. She missed him. She missed talking to him, laughing with him.... No. She couldn't miss him. After all, he wasn't the same Chase anymore.

Regardless, Ella liked this girl. She knew they would get along quite well. So, she dared to slip her hand into Sara's, interlocking their fingers as she rested her free hand on her stomach. There was no rise and fall. She was not breathing.

"Well..." Ella whispered, turning her head and meeting Saralei's eyes. "Would you believe me if I... said that I was a ghost?"

Ella figured that she could trust Sara. After all, what did she have to lose?

[ellainw0nderland]

Entry #4

Life; it has grown so foreign to me. Why, even the word is unfamiliar. I am surrounded by death. I have been since I died. And even in this hospital, where there are patients with heartbeats, I know that they, too, are dead inside. What is the point of having a pulse if you cannot live?

The apple tree. Oh, how I loved it when I first arrived. I remember it being the only thing that never morphed. Once it withered I grew so lonely. 

But it has bloomed. And that is terrifying.

I believe it is a sign; that there is still a chance to feel alive. To change my ways. Or perhaps it is just a horrifying coincidence meant to confuse me and give us all false hope.

Regardless, I cannot keep my composure. I cannot think straight.

I do not know who I have become.