May Hell Be Lit

Insta: vissent.blekk

[pretzelworldpreview]

[curoopeez]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[somecunttookmyurl]

Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years. Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ‘BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST’ We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.

It’s a really long time guys.

[somecunttookmyurl]

Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and wrote out a timeline of “when shit happened if you started at 1AD” because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here’s an abridged version. If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then…

300: step pyramid built 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built 815: Pepi II dies and civil war breaks out 950: Egypt re-unified 1350: Middle Kingdom ends 1450: New Kingdom begins 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city 1680: Tutankhamun dies 1720: Ramesses II ‘the great’ ascends to the throne 1740: World’s first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses II dies leaving way too many children 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again And now we get to ~~~~the future~~~~. If we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn’t happened yet 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state 2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over 2335: Assyrian conquest 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt 2930: Cleopatra VII born 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin.

And that’s just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt, you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates

[somecunttookmyurl]

I hate that this is still getting notes but that it’s getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c’mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS

[lydiadotnet-deactivated20190404]

tumblr is the only social media site where it’s completely useless to have a lot of followers

[lydiadotnet-deactivated20190404]

[lilyofthepraire]

God bless whoever wrote that comment

[verycooltrash-deactivated201907]

[probablybadrpgideas]

Circle of protection against capitalism

[probablybadrpgideas]

10/10 addition

[gayvampyr]

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

[batmanego]

im having feelings about the uffington white horse again

[batmanego]

so essentially there’s this cool horse drawn into the hills in england made out of chalk and it’s like 3,000 years old.

people carved trenches 3,000 years ago and filled them with chalk in the shape of a horse but what’s interesting is that if you fail to maintain the horse by adding new chalk regularly, it will disappear. for 3,000 years, we’ve been filling in chalk in this horse so it doesn’t disappear.

we’ll never know what the purpose of the horse was originally. we’ll never know if it had ritual or spiritual significance or if it was just art. but we do know that people maintained it then, and, even though the meaning of the horse has long been lost to time, we continue to maintain it now.

the people who made this horse are long dead, but they live through us still, don’t you think?

[batmanego]

couldn’t agree more we’re best friends now

[girl-dot-tzt-deactivated2026042]

Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

[liefst]

felt an urgent need to share some toast appreciation

[onlinebeast]

Hey girl you've got tits the size of boobs

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

Opening Task Manager to scare the programs into behaving again

[those-gremlin-grapes]

i fucking love almost human and almost alive characters! struggle with your humanity go sad boy go! Fuck shit up! eat people!

[synqra]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

men on reddit: my girlfriend doesn't like that I binge-watched rick and morty on our anniversary instead of spending time with her. should I dump her?

women on reddit: my boyfriend threatened to murder my family and lock me in a freezer. how do I show him I care about him?

[snowywarmthkuya]

and theyre dating each other

[veryluckyclovers]

[tikkety-tok]

[deep-dark-fears]

Stay off my rhubarb! A fear submitted by Byleth to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

Looking for a gift for your weird mom? You can find signed copies of my Deep Dark Fears books in my Etsy store - Click here for more info!