⟨ .*. ♡ * — ° SO STUNNING.

go crazy, get money i do my dance like NO ONE saw me goin’ ( down ) like no one taught me can’t hear haters, blasé blasé yes, I’m { beautiful } and gorgeous no, you can’t AFFORD THIS, my whole crew i c e d out we melt flames, them other bitches bow down

[ellictism-blog]

💬 sms to open.

KAI: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh pls come save me i'm going to probably fade away at any moment

KAI: it's sunday and i have NOTHING to do and i'm so bored :///

ELLIOT: well i can't have u fade away

ELLIOT: who else will be my face paint test subject ??

ELLIOT: u want me to bring a movie ?? some wine ?? my hot bod ??

[ellictism-blog]

denverking:

“W-What? I wasn’t—… I mean.. not that I wouldn’t look at you. I just, uh. I wasn’t starting at you or anything.” Yeah, way to make it ten times more awkward. Of course, it wouldn’t be Denver if he didn’t. The boy chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his neck as he stands in front of the other’s table. “But, uh. Yeah..- Sorry about that. I’m um..– I’m Denver.”

        his eyebrows are raised as he witnesses this kid crash and burn right in front of him. amazing how socially awkward he was. he was like a character in a john green novel, it was almost cute.   almost.   “ you’re a hot mess, kid. “    he laughs, crossing his arms over his chest with a smile.   “ i’m elliot. “

[ellictism-blog]

ofmoore:

sophia had a lot of time on her hands to think about these kinds of things, either that or she’d just watched too much dora the explorer. “no, you’re right. i’m sure they’d be pretty pissed. she could’ve done ya’know that would make much more sense. a normal parent wouldn’t let their child do that”. sophia replies. 

        elliot didn’t have many younger siblings to use as sources for this sort of thing. he was mostly going off of what he remembered from over fifteen years ago when he watched the show.    “ i’m just sayin’, maybe dora is the bad guy here. “    he gives a casual shrug.

[ellictism-blog]

sms: open

zander: you, the gayest man i know, in a house of god

zander: jesus himself is rolling

zander: thank you i'm sure she appreciates the prayers

elliot: it's a riot i kno

elliot: but god's my main man rn i'll tell him to have ur cat's back

elliot: he owes me for all the gay haters he put on this planet

[ellictism-blog]

ofmoore:

“i can’t be the only one that finds dora the explorer a little bit weird, can i? i mean what kind of parents does she have? she’s seven years old and she’s allowed to go out exploring in the jungle on her own — that’s crazy. i can’t leave eloise on her own when i drop her off at nursery without her throwing a tantrum  — i don’t think she’ll be exploring the local woods on her own when she’s seven”. 

       elliot just laughs and shakes his head, thinking of the animate character and how ridiculous it all truly was.   “ well you would think her parents wouldn’t let her if a fox was trying to kidnap her. or, did we ever think that she ran away? maybe her parents are desperately trying to look for her. “   it was a dark thought but he shrugged anyways. who fucking knows, right?

[ellictism-blog]

williamlincoln:

william wasn’t sure why he’d had such a hard time telling elliot in the first place. charlotte had known since he and zander had begun seeing each other, but even then it was just because she’d been sticking her nose into places it didn’t belong. whatever feelings he had for zander, he didn’t want to be labelled, or put into a box the way that people did with elliot. william liked to think that he knew who he was, and he presented himself a certain way; even if it was all false in the end. will finally looked up when he heard footsteps in the dirt nearing him, only then did he realize that elliot was closing the distance between them and coming to sit down beside him. “i just don’t think i’ll ever have it figured out.” william shrugged his shoulders. it had all ended just as soon as it had begun. he’d been with cleo, a girl, since then. it was just a shame, zander and bettie had both left will’s life around the same time. it almost had him wondering what he’d done to drive them away. will let his head sink down a little lower so that elliot could comfortably run his fingers through it, sighing softly over the sound of the fire in front of them. “i love you too.” he spoke simply. “sometimes i don’t feel like i do, y’know?” will admitted, shaking his head. “i don’t know.”

            it seemed as though everyone was having a hard time. but will wasn’t talking to elliot about all the things that were eating away at him. maybe if they could just start opening up to each other they’d be able to help one another. to heal over the wounds that began forming. elliot didn’t say how he saw lydia. how he told her all about isaiah and how everything blew up in their faces and she told him he didn’t belong here. words that rang in his head every day. he didn’t talk about kai, and maybe at this point there wasn’t any reason to. all that mattered was william right now. his full attention on his friend. he began to slowly rub his back in hopes to sooth him--- if only just a little bit. elliot rested his head on his shoulder and sighed. it’s all tough, isn’t it? trying to figure out who you are. elliot understands he was lucky to figure it out as young as he did. not many people do.   “ you don’t have to have it figured out, william. “   his voice remains quiet, and gentle. something uncommon for elliot. but he treats his voice like he’s holding a bird that he doesn’t want to fly away. he doesn’t want william to break in his arms.   “ promise you’ll be yourself around me then, okay? at least do that for me. “

[ellictism-blog]

sms: open

zander: you know after we get out of here the mayor better personally pay me like BIG BUCKS because i don't even go to college, and yet .... i am stuck with college students AT COLLEGE

zander: this is the most exhausting experience of my life

zander: my cat is gonna starve i'm so stressed

elliot: hey man, i'm in a church

elliot: A CHURCH. ME. IN THE HOUSE OF GOD.

elliot: everyone's on edge it's Crazy.

elliot: i'll pray for ur cat tho

[ellictism-blog]

andreromanos:

“would you quit complaining?” andre spoke to a person across the church who had decided it would be a great idea to have a fit of anger on everyone else in the room. because, somehow, that would make the storm stop and the process of evacuating buildings so much easier. “we’re not any happier than you are to be here, but you acting like a child isn’t going to help anything.”

        elliot looked between the two midst argument. it was causing him a headache. already everyone was getting cabin fever and in the house of GOD no less (he found it ironic he was stuck in here). what would his mother think ?    “ hey! “   he barked, getting up from sitting in a pew.    “ everyone take a deep breath. we all have to accept that we’re stuck here, and we gotta try and get along or else we’re going to kill each other, and that’s no good. “   he walked over to andre, the few other people in the church moving to the other person having a fit.   “ looks like you could use a friend---- more so, a drink. “    he slides off his backpack, opening the small pocket in front to pull out a flask.    “ boy scouts are prepared for anything, right ? “    there was a tinge of a smirk in his tone.

[ellictism-blog]

williamlincoln:

william sat with his eyes still trained on the fire, the crackling of the flames and rustling in the trees singing to him like a sweet lullaby. he’d be able to fall asleep if he wasn’t so concerned with the tension between he and his best friend. he wondered when things got this way. when did they decide to stop telling each other things? to drift apart? this wasn’t what william wanted, but he wondered if it was the course of life. his father always told him that people would drift in and out of his life overtime. will never thought his father would be one to drift out. maybe elliot would be the same way. he took another bite of his hot dog, attempting to act as though the inner turmoil within his head wasn’t incredibly concerning to his state of mind. when elliot began his sudden outbursts of confession, will continued eating, processing everything that the older boy was saying. did elliot think that these things were bad? that he was going to judge him? if so, perhaps their friendship had strayed even further than william had thought. “okay?” will spoke, wondering what he was to say. “el, i know all that.” he said. “i mean, not the drag thing, but that’s cool if it makes you happy.” he insisted. “i know that you’re a makeup artist. you make my mom look beautiful whenever she decided that, once a year, she deserves to treat herself to a night out with her friends. you help lili with the routines for her dance recitals.” he recalled. “none of this is a shock to me. i know who you are.” he spoke. “i miss my dad too.” he spoke. “and even though this town makes me sad, you make me happy.” will assured him. “you’ve always made me happy. you, just the way you are.” will couldn’t take another bite of his food, because with all of elliot’s confessions, will suddenly felt like a bad friend for holding back what had recently been going on in his life. “i had sex with a guy.” william spoke, avoiding elliot’s gaze. “i liked him, a lot, and he just … stopped calling.” will shuffled his feet into the dirt on the ground. he’d been much more insecure about zander than he thought he had. once charlotte stopped asking about their relationship, his thoughts about the man fell to the wayside. he’d forgotten how much he hurt. “and i don’t know if that makes me gay, or whatever, but…” will drifted off. “but i did.”

           having william’s undying support was always going to be a huge thing for elliot. he was strong, and he could make it on his own, but he cared so much about what william thought, and having william by his side for everything made him feel better about whatever was going on in his head. sure, most of that stuff william already knew, sans the drag, but he wanted to just get everything out. to say it out loud in one heap. he felt like moldy cheese so much of the time just stating who he was out loud made him feel like he was reclaiming just a little bit of himself. it made him feel good. and william assuring him of all these things, pounding it into his head that he made him happy--- just him, as he is, that helped elliot. it was something he didn’t want to admit he needed, but he did. and he didn’t want to cry, but his eyes began to burn and he sniffed, ducking his head and using the far too long sleeve of the hoody to rub into his moistened eyes.   “ thank you, william. “   he sniffed, looking at him closely, as his best friend’s eyes were stuck to the fire. there it was. laid out in front of him just like he wanted. he wanted william to come clean on his own time and finally being able to hear it, elliot wanted to cry again. the fact was it was more than just sex, possible romantic attraction too that elliot didn’t quite know about before, and that had him aching. he wanted to sooth will, tell him it was okay. so he stood, and placed his untouched hot dog in his folded chair. walking over to will he sat right beside him, an arm wrapping around his shoulders and the other the back of his head, bringing him in closely to him.   “ you don’t need to have it figured out right now, will. “   he said quietly.   “ i’m just glad you told me. “   his fingers run through his hair in a soothing way.   “ i love you, william. i want you to be completely you. and i’m sorry he hurt you, you deserve so much better. “

[ellictism-blog]

freddyatkins:

Freddy had been making pancakes his entire life. It was by far his favourite meal both to eat and make, and he was pretty much convinced that his mom’s Canadian gene was to thank for that. Being Grace-free for the day meant that he essentially had the freedom to do whatever he needed round the house, so given that Wilson was a nice town, he’d left a sign on the door saying ‘free pancakes’ and naturally, had ended up with a guest. “You want syrup with these? Nutella? Cream?” He offered, turning his head with a proud smile to look at the person sat at his kitchen table. “When pancakes are on the menu, it’s a sure sign of a good day.” Freddy announced, before placing the pancakes and additional condiments down on the table for the person. Chucking one of Grace’s superhero figures over into the living room, he sat down opposite his guest. “So, update me on stuff. I’ve still only got one ball and you’ve still…?”

            being back, time rolled itself forward and elliot was pushing through the crowd. it wasn’t the first time seeing freddy since coming home but it hadn’t been as much as he would have liked. but being grace-free was enough to send him to his door. he could get all the attention he wanted--- completely focused on elliot and elliot alone. sipping the orange juice that was first poured when he got here, he bounced his knee from the seat he’d gladly taken at the table. maybe getting cooked a nice meal wasn’t so bad either, considering he has little to no money, and has been skipping meals to make sure his bills get paid. but this was no day for talking about sad things like no money, or boys. he was just glad to be under this roof again.   “ drench that baby in syrup. i want four cavities by the time i leave here today. “   he didn’t tell his mama he was coming over, but she knew they were still close. she was glad freddy could be someone to elliot. and really, he was glad too.   “ well i'm still gay. “   he nods, looking around the quaint place.   “ still got student debt from beauty school. still bitter about the passing of prince. still way too big for this small town. “   he sighed, perching his chin on his palm.   “ not much, to be honest, though, fred. the world keeps on spinnin’. ”   not much that he wanted to share at the early morning breakfast table, anyways.

[ellictism-blog]

kennedvs:

any lessons in self love that kennedy had ever tried to teach herself had been futile. all of the time she sat looking in the mirror and whispering self affirmations was moot, all the journal entries that detailed the people who loved her would later be looked at by skeptical eyes. no matter how hard she tried she was never able to look at herself in the same way that she had always wanted, she could never carry herself the way that the popular girls did. and so every time she found herself on the receiving end of elliot’s insults she would later reflect and realize that she believed every word. and that wasn’t his fault, but rather her own, her own fault for not putting stock in her own worth. 

and maybe that was their problem, maybe they really didn’t understand each other. they talked and listened, but perhaps kennedy never put aside time to understand elliot. there were parts of herself she didn’t like, that was evident, and perhaps it was time that she add her occasional self-centeredness to that list. elliot was always there for her, despite it all. her reasons for always running back didn’t need to be much deeper than that, at least not to her. and yet she never really paid enough attention to understand him past the surface level toxic friendship that they had. and so maybe it was her fault, maybe it was all her fault. maybe if she just tried to listen harder and understand more then they wouldn’t be in this situation.

kennedy looked at elliot for the first time in a few beats of toxic conversation and rolled her eyes. she didn’t like herself a lot, but she sure as hell knew that her personality was the only thing she had going for her, even with all it’s flaws. “silly me for believing you had a heart,” she said quietly, grabbing her purse from the floor. “i’d rather have no friends than have one like you who sucks the life out of anyone who lets you.” she said finally, starting towards the door before sighing. “i hope you’re happy. goodnight, asshole.” she spat, turning on her heel. 

             without a doubt their friendship could be better. it could be a lot better. elliot did a lot of the listening but he could share more. he could open up. that was scary, though, he wasn’t a big fan of opening himself up to people to find that they’d just hurt him, or leave, or not like what they find in his true self. kennedy was no exception. he cared about her, but he didn’t know if he could trust her with those dirty details in his messy, messy life. but he could do better, he could try. he can always try.

he was also trashed, and elliot’s demons tend to come tearing out when he’s wasted. he was spitting words at one of his few friends and pushing her far away. it was the nature of their relationship, and elliot didn’t know why it was them in specific--- why didn’t he have this issue with other friendships? what made kennedy unlock that special place in him that just made him so terrible? he could blame it on this town if he wanted, and sure, being here was bringing out parts of elliot he didn’t want to come out, but was it really just the city? or was it possibly the fact that he was hitting a point in his life where all his terrible choices were crumbling down around him? who fucking knows.

he watches her get up with a raised eyebrow. he’s won, and in this drunken state, that’s all that matters. he is victorious, the top bitch. everyone around him will know not to fuck with him, or him trying to have a good time. he gives her a petty wave, drink still in hand.   “ bye, bitch. don’t let the door hit ya on the way out. “   she was gone, and elliot was finally taking note of the people around him, some didn’t pay attention, some were watching the show that just unraveled. he sat back down on the couch, letting out a large sigh.   “ no need to stop the party because of little ol’ me, keep going. “   he waved them off, and chugged the rest of his beverage.

[ellictism-blog]

do you still have feelings for nate?

            “ feelings... as is, bitterness ?   as in waste of time ?   as in shattered heart ?   as in anger towards myself for being so weak ?   yeah, i got feelings. i got tons of them.  but that was a long time ago and he’s moved on, and i have too. i try not to think about him. it’s just wasted space, right ?  all for nothing. “

[ellictism-blog]

Have you done anything recently that you regret?

         “ regret leads to demons, and demons lead to constantly running. i don’t live my life with regret, but there are things i recognize as poor choices. there are choices i’ve made that are not great ones, and i see that. but my choices are my choices and i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t stand by them. i gotta fucking move on with my life, i can’t dwell on that shit. “

[ellictism-blog]

Do you believe in love at first sight?

            “ abso-fuckin’-lutely not.   that’s the shit of fairy tales, come on now. you think i both myself with that nonsense ?   i do believe in lust at first sight, though. the realest fucking thing there is. “

[ellictism-blog]

would you consider yourself someone who gives in easily to your whims or desires?

          “ if those whims or desires include the latest highlighter, then yes. obviously. actually, come to think of it, i probably give into myself more than i should. but i make do with it, you know ? “

[ellictism-blog]

just pester him. push his buttons. feed his ego, wtvr.

[ellictism-blog]

natedesai:

“Well, well. Look what the cat drug in.” A smirk spreads across the boys features as he leans forward against the bar. A curious brow will arch as he looks towards the other. “And what is someone like you doing at Bennie’s tonight? I know it’s not for this wonderful crowd.” Nate motions outwards towards the already drunken crowd. It wouldn’t be a Saturday night if people weren’t drug before the night even really began.

        this wasn’t elliot’s crowd. everyone was dirty and drunk and he felt gross just being here. he hated benny’s. with a passion. but his saturday night was lacking and this was the only place he could think of without driving an hour out to find a good club. he doesn’t have that money for gas. but there’s nate, and elliot’s already three shots in and he doesn’t quite remember if he saw him earlier or not. but the fact is his heart still picks up it’s beat and he hates everything even more. they don’t talk anymore. he tries not to say i miss you as the first thing that comes out of his mouth.   “ someone like me needed to get shit faced and this is the place to do it. “   he shrugs it off. this is no big deal, he reminds himself that. no big deal.