Their friends and our friends are not friends

also they're planning on invading the entire ocean

[cartoonpolitics]

(cartoon by Clay Bennett)

[loldodgers-deactivated20180416]

What if Mike was short for Micycle

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

every now and then theres a text post that gets stuck in my damn head. here it is. im never going to be free of micycle

[feliicityrampant]

most fans: please creators tell us more canon information please

harry potter fans: we will pay you to Stop.

[ghosttgrrl]

‘’14 year olds shouldnt be on tumblr’’

yeah? neither should literal pedophiles and nazis but u chose to have a bitch fit over teenagers having fun but go off i guess

[thebootydiaries]

“if u like him why dont u just go talk to him!!!! have u been hurt in the past!! are u scared of putting urself out there!!!!!” no b icth im ugly leave me alon e

[shaddenfroyd]

“If you get an [arousal], why don’t you just go talk to [insert person]? Have you been hurt in the past? Are you scared of putting yourself out there?”

“Nah.”

“I’m antisocial, introverted, and have a poor self image of myself.”

[thebootydiaries]

don’t u dare translate my text posts only a select few will understand them it’s called survival of the fittest

[thegenderguideboy]

No this is how we spread the improper use of grammar, punctuation, and use of a space bar. That isn’t survival of the fittest, it’s just advertising that what you have to say isn’t important enough for you to say it right, so why did I even bother reading it if you don’t even care that much.

[thebootydiaries]

listen, i didn’t decide to be ugly just to log onto tumblr dot com and have ur rata tootie ass tell me what 2 do. i once fought MULTIPLE MALE models at chuck e cheese SIMULTANEOUSLY, lost, and cried VERY hard 2 my landlord martha on the phone so don’t u DARE come at me about spelling

[nikolaibelinski]

I don’t think you have ever done any of that. I’m so tired of this generation feeling like they need to make things up to get attention. Go outside, change the world instead of trying to get followers on a blog site. I hope you learn to be more mature when faced with criticism in the future. :/

[thebootydiaries]

nice try kristen,, i may be on tumble but dont u ever think for a seconf that i;m not thinking about thos beans

[pax-khatmana-blog]

CFTC : Nice try Kristen.. I may be on Tumblr, but don’t you ever think for a second that I’m not thinking about those beans.

[thebootydiaries]

caught another rata tootie ass trying to coffin skate my post -_-

[thebootydiaries]

i followed someone and like 2 seconds later they messaged me “are u sure” and honestly if that ain’t me………

[thebootydiaries]

boi keep ur hands to urself im just trying to watch rata tootie -_-

[kinkusmaximus]

Do you mean ratatouille?

[thebootydiaries]

boi keep ur opinion to urself -_-

[thebootydiaries]

millennials are so stupidt,,, like,,.. get off ur ipohne,,,,g o 2 outside,,,,, take an entire shit on the e leaves of the outsides……losten to nature u stupit bicth……u disgustenign,….the real friendship is in person not online,,,….t he only emoji u need is Outside……run and tell that…,,.i miss 1436 when we Talk To Each Other and Die A Lot

[thecoffeediary-deactivated20161]

The excessive misspells are cringe-worthy 😖

[thebootydiaries]

i turned off autocorrect and turned on,,, Auto Real Life Friendship

[textposts-idk]

At least millennials can spell

[thebootydiaries]

the only spell i need is,,,.. T he Spell Of Nature’s Beaty,,,,, kms if u agree..,,

[horrendous-look]

You do realize that you’re using millennial “talk” by using “kms” and “u”, correct? And also, commas (especially so many) are not needed in the statements you’re making. By the way, autocorrect was meant for the millennials, according to your logic. Because I’m just guessing you were alive before the smart phone. Then again, all the things you use today, technology wise, is more than likely here because of the fact people don’t want to go outside but instead want to expand how we think and not how we behave. But, I’m just a millennial so what do I know?

[thebootydiaries]

my young grass hopper,,, do u realize i am Save u…..every morning i break my legs just 2 survive so don’t u dare come at me about intelligents.,… Smart Phones bu t Dumb People..,,,u care about Apple iPhone but i care about the Apple i shoved up my ass,,,, think before u speak

[saltaalyn]

You should think before you speak because you said “kms if u agree” kms, means kill myself, correct(I’m actually not sure)? Also “the Apple I shoved up my ass” why the fuck would you shove an apple up your ass? Also, get off Tumblr if you think people should go outside. Instead of typing that, why don;t you go outside and leave everybody the hell alone

[thebootydiaries]

i didnt riske my life to come on tumblr.com and be disrespected,, listen 2 me.., u put the apple in ur colon because the nature go inside u…into ur heart,smh shaking my honest. we r not the same. u think about bae fleek….i;m thinking about thos beans,,,,u like LSD screen.,, i like EYES screan,goodbye harrypotter0423

[gabberdoodles-7-blog]

How is the aple suposed 2 go to ur heart from ur butt

[thebootydiaries]

digestion boi

[pigeonacademic]

Guys, don’t bother. Booty is a horrible shitposter. By horrible I mean that she fails to make it a funny sort of shitpost. She tries to be funny and fails.

[thebootydiaries]

im screamign why my name booty

[thebootydiaries]

i hate tumbl so muc h my friend told me they had a cucumber for lunch and i thought they were talking about Benedict Cumberland

[thebootydiaries]

concept: time doesn’t exist. you and i are sitting on a bed sharing a smoothie. you think you’re falling in love with me. you’re getting butterflies in your stomach. little do you know that i actually poisoned the smoothie and you start to choke. im running as fast i can with the Russian military yelling in my earpiece but i don’t speak Russian. i realize then that i had also poisoned myself. we are both yelling.

[thebootydiaries]

im tHIS close to blocking buzzfeed smh

[thebootydiaries]

honestly i hate my friends so much

[paulnmanniv-blog1]

Today’s episode of “Shit That Never Happened” and only because of the last part.

[thebootydiaries]

i was there i was the vegan and everyone was clapping

[thebootydiaries]

me: how am i? really? as if u care lmao. im so SICK of small talk,. i want someone who asks about my day and MEANS it, wipes my tears and tells me im beautiful without make up on, but all boys do is lie.maybe love wasn’t made for people like me

walmart employee: ma'am,

[thebootydiaries]

i want a pet bagel so bad 😍

[lookingfrank]

why

[thebootydiaries]

it’s my favourite dog bread -_-

[imnotcrazyhopefully]

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[thebootydiaries]

they’re so cut -_-

[thebootydiaries]

hi linda i just caught my son vaping,i am shaking gplease respond

[feircemajorasblog]

Wait you have a child?

[thebootydiaries]

not anymore helen i took care of it

[thebootydiaries]

can’t believe i have to say this but if you’re not from texas then don’t 👏 reproduce 👏 with 👏 tractors 👏

[nbmtg]

I can’t believe she had to say this either

[girlonpointe]

just wondering what prompted you to say this?!?!?!?

[thebootydiaries]

someone had to

[thebootydiaries]

i wish i was as pretty as moan of lisa 😍 when i look at her im at a lost for words <3

[dillyduzit]

reblog if u want someone to look at u like farha looks at moan of lisa