[dyinginthearctic]

i'm going to [remembers suicide jokes have a negative impact on my mental health] be unwell, gentlemen. quite unwell, i expect. and i don't know for how long. a week? no, two. perhaps... perhaps more

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[bakasara]

the people yearn for the 4-day work week

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[rizaoftheowls]

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

[lezbians]

being an adult is always like i have to go to the store i have to go to the store i have to go to the store

[angel-fruitcake]

i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed

[penandinkprincess]

3 pm: god, I'm EXHAUSTED. going to bed early for SURE.

midnight: I Have Literally Never Been More Awake And Alert

[gotham-blight]

okay hear me out, I know this is going to be a hot take but like

what if batman and superman... kiss

[i-enact-postvore]

You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw

[loveshoplifter]

same but it's black people

[i-enact-postvore]

That's right

[berrytart]

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

[bettyrightnow]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

[fairycosmos]

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

[beansfrombeans]

[abyssaldyke]

*guy who hasn't eaten lunch voice* been really into the idea of picking a direction and running as fast as I can in a straight line until I collapse and die

[autisticmysticsarah]

The legend of King Arthur predates thinking

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[hayleyolivia]

Just a dandy boy 🌻

[musteilss]

Five hundred cigarettes

[nnnn6453]

how good would it feel to freak out at work one time. all those bipolar baristas have probably felt catharsis that i can only dream of