elsa @elsafinstad - Tumblr Blog

you guys are like i love milfs yes yum milf milf milf but you don’t like children and you can’t wake up before 10am and you don’t know how to drive automatic and you’ve never gone grocery shopping alone and you’re scared to order your hot chocolate at star bucks so how do you expect to help take care of deborah’s preschool kids in between rounds of that cougar pussy

dingdongyouarewrong

one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was like it’s actual lemonade so i ordered some and she brought it back and it was sprite. i hate england

dingdongyouarewrong

aprilslady

They just meant it didn’t have lime in it

dingdongyouarewrong

sprite has lime in it wym

thoughtsofadame

honestly only americans who have been to england or australia or new zealand understand the frustration. Also you literally can’t even explain to them what real lemonade is. they simply don’t get it

dingdongyouarewrong

i’m actually not american i just have functioning taste buds. but GOD HONESTLY like “sprite is a type of lemonade because it has lemon flavouring in it!” no. go to jail. lemonade does not have lime and corn syrup in it, and it’s not carbonated. that’s not a sweet refreshing summer beverage, it’s canned sadness.

pseudinymous

These guys are honestly right. In Australia there is nothing that even closely resembles American “lemonade”. You’d have to make it yourself. I only vaguely know how to make it from American cartoons and it’s never sounded even slightly appetising. I guess it’s like Vegemite. You have to grow up with it.

themunofprovidence

If you’re insinuating that lemonade is like vegemite than you’re an idiot that has never tried lemonade.

truffledmadness

GUYS.

I don’t know about Australia, but I live in England, and there’s a CODE. There is a CODE you can use to make them understand you want ACTUAL LEMONADE and not SPRITE OR ITS COUSIN FROM ASDA.

You ready?

The code is: “Is it like Fentimans?”

Fentimans is literally the only UK-available company I know to produce actual lemonade. The Actual Lemonade is called Victorian Lemonade, and it’s delicious, and they make an also-delicious Rose and Lemon variation. And most UK pub landlords and such will at least be aware of Fentimans (they provide a lot of mixers to pubs, and ginger beer), so when you ask if the lemonade is “like Fentimans”, they’ll know what you mean.

dingdongyouarewrong

god bless you

poolwatcher

No but Fentimans is still carbonated! We get it in Sweden and it’s still carbonated!

dottewa-deactivated20200728

Im reading that i can go to the uk with a recipe so simple that american toddlers sell it roadside and become a billionaire.

epicghostdragon

You know dottewa, you probably could

medusagirlfriend-blog

everyone please tell me a lyric that made you go insane when you first heard it

gay-irl

arctic-hands

So I saw a post last night that terrified me but then my app crashed before I could reblog it.

Smart appliances are completely, 100% reliant on wifi? Like if there’s an outage or you couldn’t pay your internet bill in time and your wifi isn’t working, your stove/fridge/door locks etc are rendered completely and totally unusable? The oven doesn’t revert back to a basic oven/stove that you just have to operate manually? It’s competely inoperable? Is that what you’re telling me because that’s fucking terrifying. So you’re either completely locked in or out of your home if wifi goes down? Who the fuck signs up for this shit?

thecringeandwincefactory-deacti

I’ve read soooo many articles by people in the security industry who are like ALL of my locks at home are manual, always will be. They completely reject this 5G bullshit.

Also, Jesus, if Amazon is cooperating w the police vis-a-vis the doorbell camera bullshit, imagine how they’ll cooperate with the police in 20 years by turning off your access to water because you getting shook down to for a donation to a local police charity.

dirtydirtychai

P l e a s e stop with the internet of things. Your fridge doesn’t need to be connected to WiFi. Stop inviting unnecessary tools of surveillance into your home.

systlin

Listen, I am a Professional Security Person.

And if anyone even mentions any of this smart home bullshit near me I hiss like an offended cat.

A good old fashioned manual lock and deadbolt is the way to go, and I don’t trust my fridge to be talking to my doctor or my washing machine to have internet access, because I promise you that shit will go sideways immediately.

You know who can compromise your wifi enabled baby monitor or security cameras and watch the camera feed of your house? Literally anybody with 10 spare minutes and some freeware.

valtsv

i HATE stories where, after spending months or even years working and traveling and living together and developing a found family dynamic through their shared time and experiences together, all the characters just… break up once they’ve achieved their shared goals and defeated The Big Enemy or whatever like “oh… we’ve done what we set out to do… i guess there’s no need for any of us to see each other again… it’s probably best we all go our separate ways so we can get on with our lives” like fuck THAT

valtsv

if it was me i’d be like “alright kids, grab your things, we’re going to visit your Uncle Bastard for the weekend. yes, the one who tried to kill me when we first met and was there for my wedding and when both of you were born” like it’s just not realistic

valtsv

the protagonist at the end of some novel: heh, i’m sure gonna miss you guys… but hey, if you’re ever passing through, you’re always welcome to come in and stay for dinner

me in the exact same scenario: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER???

lesbian-toddhoward

an asparagus looks on in horror as their four adopted children encourage his tomato husband to commit mass suicide

theglowpt2-deactivated20200101

kesha “raising hell” + gone girl

carry-on-my-wayward-butt

i’m tired of seeing memes for shit i’ve never fucking heard of so here’s some memes for a piece of media that doesn’t fucking exist. fuck you.

n-yks

Short tops are valid.. Also cute

plantsplacesthings

I think they’re called crop tops but I may be wrong

plantsplacesthings

My only hope for 2019 is that people learn how to spot smart, witty comedy and stop calling me a sweet summer child

barbieofcolour-deactivated20211

this STILL sends my soul hurtling out of my body and into the sun WHEW

cracked

peniswakt-deactivated20210717

stereocyon

anyone wanna go for a hike

lachances-deactivated20241202

Me and the girls taking the trek from poo poo point to pee pee creek

everythingfox

“Cat Realizes She Has Ears!”

(Source)

garbage-empress

people in the notes are freaking out because this cat passed the mirror test and i can’t really blame them because literally all the first results on google say they don’t

confusion-and-cake

This cat in an Intellectual

valtsv

not killing bugs is cool actually let’s normalize that

valtsv

i mean, if there’s an infestation of pests in your home you’ll need to take action, sure, but if you find a spider in your bathroom or a wasp in your kitchen or whatever just trap em in a cup or leave a window open (and shut the door so it’s their only available exit) and let them outside! they’re not there to hurt you! they just got confused, so gently correct their mistake instead of punishing them for something that isn’t their fault

penguinssonamor

I got to marry my wife, and our pupper was our flower girl. 2.5 years ago this wasn’t possible, as it wasn’t legal in Australia. It rained our whole wedding day, but was so worth it in the end with our phenomenal photographer.