Elven-Jester

[violetqueenofwands]

Lysander fans: Lysander is the main character now because he’s trying to rebuild what Darrow broke!

Me: You mean the CHAINS?!?!

[insignificant457]

You ever think about how painfully awkward the ride home from the Institute must have been for the Augustus family?

I get the vibe that Darrow declaring his allegiance at the closing ceremony was kind of a rarity, so I assume everyone went home with their families for at least a little bit before they were offered jobs and positions in other houses.

And obviously I know this isn’t how it went down but in my head its just Augustus, mustang, the jackal, and Darrow in a car together. Augustus makes mustang and the jackal sit in the back so Darrow can have shotgun. The jackal keeps glaring daggers at mustang but she’s looking resolutely out the window pretending he’s not there. The silence is oppressive. Darrow tries to turn the radio on but Augustus slaps his hand away. Adrius asks if they can stop by the hospital to get his hand checked out but Augustus ignores him. Hospitals are for winners, he says. Darrow wants to die.

[wolves-willow]

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

[jaesrri]

[lunaite]

benoit blanc had the right idea with his version of swearing. the comedic genius of saying things like ‘fiddlesticks’ and ‘lord help us’ is enough in itself, but paired with the occasional ‘MOTHERFUCKING SHITBALLS’ at the exact right moment, i am truly enraptured. i will begin using this method immediately

[thestuffedalligator]

They’ve been rebuilding the Tower of Babel, but this time they have a team of linguists on site. Every time God smites the builders and invents a dozen new languages, the linguists have a dozen decently sized translations in about a month and work can start up again.

The linguists have been really into it. They say the new phonemes are fascinating. As for God, I assume that at this point he’s just curious to see how far this goes.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Oh no

It's true

It is like something out of Douglas Adams. And yet it is actually happening.

The Queue.

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

there is now

a queue to join The Queue, which is closed

a queue for the journalists wishing to interview The Queue

my colleague coined the terms platinum queuebilee and queueanon

[annabellecanescookbook]

Tbh no part of the magnus archives will ever be funnier or more annoying to me than the fact the archives was under a full scale attacks by monsters that had to be held back by an academic, an ex cop, and a former youtuber

And it all happened offscreen while Mr. Voyeurism was getting hit on by the Grim Reaper

[headless-horsepossum]

My uncle is autistic so he has sensory sensitivities, and he's largely nonverbal so he can't tell you what those sensitivities Are, so what he does is, if you give him a shirt that is a bad texture, he goes and gets his scissors and he cuts it into tiny little pieces so no one can ever ask him to wear it ever again, and the thing is is that he is so totally right

[headless-horsepossum]

This post is okay to rb and also if you are neurodivergent when you are In A Situation you are advised to think "is this when uncle matt would go and get the scissors" and if the answer is yes then it is time to put your foot down

[valtsv]

ra ra rasputin is objectively the funniest song ever written it's like "rasputin was an advisor to the romanovs and honestly he was a bit of a power-hungry conman (oof)... but you're not here for a history lesson! you want to know how much he fucked, don't you? well i'll tell you: he fucked. he fucked often and severely."

[valtsv]

and it's a banger

[nicollekidman]

original sin (insider trading)

[faewaren]

Nicknames: when you shorten someone’s name affectionately

Nicholasnames: when you elongate someone’s name affectionately

[charlesoberonn]

I realized two of my favorite games have a lot in common.

[motherfucker-unlimited]

We need to keep making 9/11 jokes until some corporation tries to jump in on the meme and gets promptly executed by the public

[enigmasandepiphanies]

the laptop urge to shut down in high pressure situations

[grogusdads]

it would have been really funny if palpatine enacted order 66 only to be immediately killed by one of his own clone guards who doesn’t really understand the difference between the sith and jedi and just sees palpatine with a lightsaber and goes “oh a jedi!” And point blank shoots him without hesitation

[retrogamingblog2]

Pokemon Console Posters made by Mylyom

[damiano-david]

TODAY