They are seven and they are both lonely boys in big houses who run to the quidditch pitch and read library books.
They are ten, and one of them is happy and bright and holding his parents hands, tugging them along the busy street. The other is quiet, and he hides the bruises on his hands with long sleeves. He walks behind his parents and holds Regulus Black’s hand gently in his own. He doesn’t look up, and neither James Potter or Sirius Black will know they passed each other on the street.
They are eleven and it is their first night in their dorm. James is giddy with thoughts of starting school, and his new, shiny life in this huge, brilliant castle. Sirius is giddy with freedom. His fingers shake and his smile is almost too big for his face. James falls asleep happy, he has made a friend in the funny boy who sleeps one bed over, and tomorrow he will get his class schedule. Sirius falls asleep crying. He has no one, he is eleven and floating, with no one to hold onto anymore. He knows home is no longer home.
They are twelve and together, they make up half of the Marauders. They spend too many hours studying up on Animigi and not enough time on schoolwork. The rest of the boys fall asleep on books and crumpled paper, all of them piled on Pete’s bed. Sirius Black rubs his hurting eyes and scribbles notes, turning the pages of the heavy book. He does not sleep most nights. He prefers this, the quiet and the safety, surrounded by people who would never hurt him. He likes this, or at least, he likes it better than the nightmares.
They are fifteen, and they are handsome boys who laugh loudly and make ugly jokes. James Potter pretends he forgot about Lily Evans. Sirius Black pretends he does not have a family outside of the three boys who throw their arms over his shoulders and turn the Slytherin’s ties red and gold on Godric Gryffindor’s birthday.
They are sixteen and their is a war looming outside the gates of Hogwarts. They are still boys, but they put on a facade and pretend they are not, they talk about enlisting. Lily Evans makes Sirius Black quit smoking. Sirius Black lets Lily Evans cry while he holds her hands. James Potter steels himself to fight a war. Lily Evans has the fight in her veins. In blood. She can feel it boiling. Sirius Black gave up his family when he was eleven to adopt a new one. Sirius Black’s new family consisted of two blood traitors, a werewolf, and a Muggleborn.
Sirius Black’s new family consisted of a shorter, blonde haired boy who laughed at horrible jokes, and a red haired girl who elbowed Sirius in the ribs and made terrible jokes to make Pete laugh. Sirius Black’s new family was a sarcastic, gentle, werewolf and a tall, lanky black haired boy with glasses. Sirius Black, at sixteen, was ready to fight for his family.
They are seventeen and they graduate. Lily and James are holding hands in all the pictures taken that day. Sirius thinks that even of the rest of the world is falling apart, they are something beautiful.
They are nineteen and living in Wizard London. They have joined the Order and are dizzy with idealism. They are going to change the world, those grinning boys with beautiful minds are going to take on evil and they are going to win.
They are twenty and they have felt too much loss for people so young. Sirius thinks the whole world is falling apart. James thinks he has to fix the world, before he brings something new, and small and beautiful and perfect into it.
They are twenty one, and there is no more They. James Potter, who was a funny little boy, and a lanky, goofy teenager. James, who was a courageous, ardent, man, is dead. Sirius Black, who was a silent, scared boy, and a clever, roguish teenager. Sirius, who was a headstrong, lionhearted man, is lost in grief without James Potter.
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