being touchstarved makes u absolutely buckwild when someone does smth simple like .share a chair with u
like having someone touch your hand with the tips of their fingers shouldn’t feel like So Much it shouldn’t feel like your whole body is going into anaphylactic shock but here we are. here we are.
ok 2 many of u relate
Someone gave me a compliment and reached out and squeezed my hand and I fell in love and couldn’t speak for several minutes
I was just gonna type this in the tags but I have to say this.
Growing up in North America is surreal. Every tiny little blip of physical affection is deemed as sexual interest. Boys aren’t allowed to hug eachother because “that’s gay.” Girls can’t hold hands because “are they going out?” And GOD FORBID a female friend hugs a male friend.
Having lived in the Netherlands, and reading up about shit like this, Canadians and Americans are starving.
I went to Japan for a school trip in 2012. I went to a highschool there. There were boys hugging, lounging on those blue gym floor mats, holding hands, trowing their arms around eachother. I was startled by how shocked I was.
This mentality of “if you’re touching you must have sexual interest in the other person” is so fucking disgusting. Hug your friends. Hold hands with them. Touch their hands when you want to reassure them.
This. I know better and I still don’t behave any better.
This is also funny, because my 10-year-old male students are the most physically affectionate people I have ever seen? And I’m talking about the Cool boys. They sit right up against each other on the carpet and when we have reading time, they literally cuddle.
At some point, I guess they’ll just stop.
When i was in hs me and all my friends were very open about being physically affectionate with each other. Hugs and whatnot. I dont really understand what information youre seeing about americans? Or do i just live in an anomaly.
Im an american and went to american hs. Im a girl, and in my friend groups we all hugged all the time. Theres girls who i knew that i wasnt close friends with, that we hugged all the time and sat together at lunch, so close our legs were touching. I saw other girls all the time being very close. Maybe not holding hands while walking down the hallways, but i used to hold my best friend's hand whenever i was with her.
The boys were a little bit different, but i still saw them giving each other affections. The preppy popular boys, i seen them doing bro hugs and posting pics on facebook w/ their arms around each other's shoulders all the time. The boys in my circle loved making it a little holmoerotic though. Im talking being more sensual and TRYING to make it gay bc thry thought it made other people uncomfortable.
I dont understand what you said about what you saw in japan, though. From my understanding, public displays of affection are a taboo in japan. When i was young, i used to try to get hugs and kisses from my grandmother (who is japanese) and she would always tell me that was disgusting. When i was studying japanese language and culture, in a classroom setting from a native japanese person, she explained to us that you shouldnt talk about/show affection in public. Even telling someone "I like you a lot" is a big deal! And then theres the whole "chan" and first names situation. (Using someone's first name usually shows that you are very close to them, and so does adding "chan" to their name.) Maybe its different in a school setting? I dont know.
And are we forgetting about sibling affection? My sister is 6 years older than me, and we spent all our time together until she got to high school. We hugged and kissed and took baths and showers.. we slept in the same bed. Voluntarily, too. We did have seperate rooms, but we chose to share a bed. Same deal with my cousin, whenever we went to go visit her house. My brother is 12 years youbger than me, and we shared a very similar relationship to some degree until it seemed like we were a little to old to be like.. sharing a bath... but still, we impede on each other's privacy all the time (example, if im in the shower and he has something to say to me, he just comes right into the bathroom)
Meanwhile, my best friend? She was half mexican and half black, and she always criticized me for the way that white families show affection toward each other. The hugging and the kissing was weird to her.
I never felt "touch starved" as a kid. Maybe, at times, i felt that way towards my kom specifically, but i was a very clingy kid.
I dont really feel "touch starved" now as an adult, even though i never see any of my friends and i hardly even get to talk to them (everyone is busy, all the time)
I dont get this whole "touch starved" mentality.
