northernlion umineko stream
NL: [staring at the epitaph in the pause menu for the fiftieth time] "I think we're onto something here."
can we go back to playing the game?
[laughing] "Man, shut the hell up! This guy wasn't here for trickshot sim. This is an order of magnitude more riveting, I assure you. Go find a Valorant stream. That's probably more your speed." [ignores chat for another five minutes] [glances back]
you're not going to solve it just move on
[faux-anger] "They wouldn't give it to me. If I couldn't solve it." [genuine anger] "Everyone in chat's been telling me stream after stream that there's no point in playing the game if I'm not trying to solve it myself! And look at me, trying to solve it, and what do I get?!?" [mocking] "Oh, it's so boooooring!" [faux anger again] "Wait for the librarian clips to come out if you're so bored!" [sighs] [sudden note of curiosity] "Do we know where Kinzo was born? Taiwan, right?"
"Prolly?" [pulls up google maps] "Let's see here. Most populated city is just Taipei, so statistically..." [zooms in on the danshui river]
[through his teeth] "I know. It's not. The capital. Did I say it was the capital?" [scrolls around aimlessly for a few minutes] "Besides. It's their seat of government, so by international law, it's their de facto capital. Lil bro." [coos in delight] "Oooh! When did they add railway lines to google maps! That's pretty sick, I'm not gonna lie." [puts a hand to his chin, gets lost following the railway lines] "Why were we here again?" [laughs] "Oh, yeah, right. They got a lot of rivers here, man. I dunno." [googles 'rivers in taiwan'] [opens the wikipedia page for the tamsui river] "Dude, its name is literally 'freshwater river'." [failing to hold back laughter] "Shame about the pollution though."
arent sweetfish freshwater fish
[not reading chat] [leans back in his chair, hand to chin] "I feel like there's something here. we're getting close." [glances at chat while taking a sip of la croix]
u_watanabe: which umineko character is the best mom
"Librarian, you've sort of handed me a loaded gun here, and I have no desire to touch it." [laces fingers behind head] "So obviously not Rosa, right? Even if I thought she was the best mother, by whatever metric, despite her more obvious flaws, chat would interpret it to mean that I sort of support, um, corporal punishment for children. Which I don't. If I were to pick her, it would be that the more subsurface issues of the other moms were more, I dunno, I guess more severe. The devil you know, and all that. But no, I think hitting your child is bad. Next-" [leans forwards to read chat]
when luna misbehaves she has to polish his head
[weary] "Ok, ok. You thought you were being funny, you got your laugh, your moment in the spotlight. Let's pull up an audit, c'mon now." [sighs] "Following for three months." [deadpan] "'omg he's bald'. Strike two. 'he literally zoomed in on the dansui river. he googled the answer to the epitaph'" [frowns] [stares at message for 30+ seconds] "Wait, spoilers? Chat can I get confirmation? Spoilers?"
peepoNotes
yeah
yep
ICANT
peepoNotes
"Get this joker out of here. I'll see you in the unban requests." [resumes previous position] "Now. Our remaining options are Eva and Natsuhi." [pronounces all names wrong] "Oh and what's the white haired one?"
"Yeah, Kyrie." [pronounced like kyrie irving] "And I guess Battler's mom, but I don't think we know anything about her yet. Do we know her name? I don't think so, no spoilers in chat." [sighs] "Kyrie seems like the best on the surface, but I bet she's got some shit going on we haven't seen yet. That's the copout answer. The longer someone's secrets stay in the closet, the worse they are. Mark my words." [frowns, stares off into the distance] "I dunno, Eva and Natsuhi are like two sides of the same coin. Yin and Yang. Sun and moon. Y'know? It's hard to separate them." [wistfully] "Two ships in the night..."
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