Aphobic Places Scale

how aphobic is a place? I try to put them on a scale! Please suggest places to me. Real places, fictional places, internet spaces, blogs, whatever. I really appreciate it. (I am slow at answering, but I cherish every ask)

[aphobicplacesscale]

Hi!

You can call me Seg, I'm aroace, and you'll never know my main blog.

I try to rank places based on how aphobic or a-spec friendly they are!

I can totally be wrong, I base myself mainly on the vibes they give me and some other datas I can get, I have no mathematic proof of anything.

The criteria I use:

How queer/lgbtqia+ friendly they usually are;

How many time the word "love" can be found here;

How many hearts or heart shaped things there are;

How many "love is all that matters" / "love is vital" there are;

For blogs: whenever the owner is aroace

How many aspec related things there are

If you have other criteria I could use, feel free to suggest me!

If you have data I don't, or you think I did something wrong, please, tell me!

The scale I use is:

🍀Ally🍀

🔵Friendly🔵

🟧Ignoring🟧

💔Aphobic💔

The explanations:

🍀Ally🍀 is for a place that recognises we exist and matter, and actively and visibily shows it. Here you can find a-spec flags, pins and stuff, and you will not find anything that's aphobic or that can disturb in any way an a-spec people (including romance and sex repulsed pals!)

🔵Friendly🔵 is for a place that knows we exist and usually has some a-spec friendly stuff. Maybe there are some "love is love" signs, but, in their pride signs, there are some small a-spec flags.

🟧Ignoring🟧 is for a place that doesn't know we exist. More not a-spec friendly signs than before, no recognition, and probably lots of aplatonic and afamiliar -phobic stuff.

💔Aphobic💔 is a place that is straight up against our existence, that it wants it or not. Many "love is all that matters" signs and absolutely not romance / sex repulsed friendly.

Tags used:

#as(pec)k is for answers at asks or reposts;

#communic a tion is for communications about the blog;

#not judging places is for when I am not judging places

#judging places is for when I judge a place; it's followed by:

#🍀ally🍀 when the place gets ranked as ally

#🔵friendly🔵 when the place gets ranked as friendly

#🟧ignoring🟧 when the place gets ranked as ignoring

#💔aphobic💔 when the place gets ranked as aphobic

I'm really sorry I'm not able to provide anything for our fellow agenders, but I know nearly nothing about what could be considered agender-phobic (is that a word?) so I don't feel like I can judge places about it.

[aphobicplacesscale]

Happy international ace day!

I'm still alive, I swear, I'm drowning in school work but I'll be back sooner or later

[justagaymoth]

Friendly reminder aromantic and asexual spectrums aren't the only spectrums in the aspec community

[my-castles-crumbling]

You are loved, you matter, I care about you.

Please reblog for all of the people who are feeling hopeless right now.

[aphobicplacesscale]

If this can be of any use for someone of you...

(If you don't feel good with the "you are loved" part, know you're appreciated, and we all care about you)

[aphobicplacesscale]

can you please rate my blog?

Ok!

No aphobia found

Some aro and ace posts

🔵Friendly🔵

@alchemicalwerewolf

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

hello... no worries if you're just taking a break, just wanted you to know i am still keeping an eye on this blog :) love your content

(I will use this as an excuse to restart posting, so thank you)

(School was devastating recently, and I will try to post again, but maybe less frequently (I was thinking about twice a week))

Thanks for the ask!

[aphobicplacesscale]

....

So I read your criteria, and I noticed something...

I almost never mean to be aphobic, in fact I honestly seem to be an angled loveless aroace (I experience platonic and sexual attraction (? Not really attraction but libedo) more) but I often use the word love

Likely due to the fact that

1. Allos seem to do that, partially doing it to fit in

2. I have slight bullying / social exclusion trauma thanks to being neurodivergent. And if I say 'I respect you' or 'I care for you' or something else more similar to my true experience, it feels slightly passive aggressive which I do not mean at all

Usually, when I use any labels for relationships, I mean like, the level below

So, what do I do to make my personal blog more aspec friendly ? /gen

Cool question!

Not easy, but surely really interesting.

Using the word love is not straight-up aphobic. It isn't a "wrong" or "bad" word in any way.

Love is a difficult concept, and the definition varies from one person to another, so what may trigger somebody may be perfectly fine for someone else.

I personally prefer not using it (or putting an alternative wording near), but it is mainly due to my pettiness, my wish to be as inclusive as I can, and the fact that sometimes it bugs me to read/think about it. But this is my thought, and it's based on my personal relationship with the concept of love in our society. It can be different for other people. (It probably is).

You don't have to act like an allo person to fit in: if something makes you uncomfortable, they will respect you. Otherwise, they're probably not the group of persons you will want to fit in.

You can have really valid reasons to use the word, and nobody can tell you that your feelings and your sensibility on this matter are wrong. Just pay attention to other people, too.

The "I love you"s aren't what makes a blog aphobic.

If you think you could support the aspec community more, here are some suggestions. Obviously, those are only a few, but they can be valid point from which you can start. (Is it that obvious I really enjoy lists?)

Aspec related posts! If you see a cool art, an interesting discussion, a rant you can understand and relate to (or one you can't, but you still want to support them), an informational post about a label not well known, even just some random "aspec people are valid" post, reblog them! (Every time I'm randomly scrolling and I see one of those, it warms my heart!)

Trigger warnings tags. To tag things properly is important, but, often, people forget tws for things like romance, sex mention, or aphobia. I find them quite useful, and probably romance/sex repulsed people do too.

No aphobia. Seems obvious, but pay attention that none of your posts contain messages that can be offensive for aspec people. This includes but is not limited to: "love is all that matters"/"love is love" signs; exclusionists (people who don't belive aspecs are part of the lgbtqia+ community) posts; posts that say that a certain label under the aspec umbrella doesn't exist; and every other message that invalidates our experiences and feelings.

Another pretty obvious one, not strictly related to the blog as it works irl, too, do not invalidate aspec people's experiences. This includes fictional characters.

Be open to dialogue: if somebody tells you something is making them uncomfortable, or that you could do something better,be open to changes and constructive criticism.

This is pretty much all I can think of right now. Those are general points that are always useful to keep in mind, but, obviously, there can be more.

I hope this is at least a little bit interesting and helpful.

If I said something wrong, feel free to correct me!

[aphobicplacesscale]

Can you rank @watercraver?

Ok!

Lots of Aro posts

Ace posts

Apl posts

Agender posts (is there a shorter way to say it?)

Aspec posts

No aphobia found

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🔵Friendly🔵

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@watercraver

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

Can't ask via the blog but @aussieaspecforces ?

what about @aussieaspecforces ? Honestly the easiest so far Blog's owners are aspec Actually, basically everyone here is aspec Many as

Already done!

[aphobicplacesscale]

How's my blog :3

Blog's owner is ace

No aphobia found

Some posts on the aro and ace tags

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🔵Friendly🔵

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@orchid-merryweather

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

I've been seeing people ask you for evaluations of themselves and now I'm curious. How do I hold up?

Blog's owner is aroace

Many posts on the aro, ace, aspec, and agender tags

Tw tag for sex mention

One "Love is love" post

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🔵Friendly🔵

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@lucilia-citrine

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

can you rank antarctica?

Like the film (1983) or the place? /gen

[aphobicplacesscale]

how about the pawsitive cat cafe in rochester NY?

Ok

Queer friendly

No aphobia found

No aspec mentions on the site

Some aspec flags in the pictures

(I don't live near enough to see this place irl so I'll trust the online sources)

🟧Ignoring🟧

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

How does @acemdzfan rank?

I can't find this blog - try sending it to me again ig?

[aphobicplacesscale]

could you rate my blog? please and thanks <3 love you!!

Ok!

Blog's owner is aegosexual

Some posts on the aro, ace, and agender tags

No aphobia anywhere

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🔵Friendly🔵

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@caramel-covered-apples

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

@scarlet-pearl-moon please if that's okay (don't know if it's mentioned on there but blog owner is sapphic-oriented aroace and agender)

Ok

Blog's owner is oriented aroace and agender

No aphobia found

No aspec related posts

It's a rp blog

🟧Ignoring🟧

@scarlet-pearl-moon

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!

[aphobicplacesscale]

Hey! Can you rank me lol

Ok

There are posts on the aro, ace and agender tags

Blog's owner is oriented aroace

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🔵Friendly🔵

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

As usual, I could be wrong, as this is only my opinion! Feel free to correct me if I said something incorrect, and let me know if you agree or not!