Oh well, my mind is begging me to talk about this scene, so there you go.
Look at this angsty motherfucker. He’s so downcast and scared and sad that he has to tell her. But Emma thinks all of that is his fear of proposing. She thinks he’s afraid she won’t say yes so incredibly excited as she is, she takes the step for him and shows him the ring.
Killian reassures her he can’t be mad at her and Emma just fucking opens up like she hasn’t opened up before.
Look at her. She’s basically ready to propose herself. She gives him the ring and smiles at him with tears in her eyes, waiting for him to propose. And Killian sees that. He sees how excited she is and he knew how she used to be. She was a lost girl with walls up, with fears and insecurities. Killian had seen right through them and was happy to help her overcome them.
And now he sees her honestly overcoming them, right in front of him.
The woman who was scared that a happy ending isn’t in the cards for her is now patiently waiting for him to propose to her. And that’s just GREATLY FUCKING HUGE for Emma Swan and he knows that. He knows how important that moment is for her and how hard she’s worked to allow herself that. To allow herself to hope in the future, a happy one, for both of them.
And I think that’s what makes him let go.
He’s happy for her, proud of her, eternally in love with her and he can’t simply ignore the huge step she took. So he kneels. (I mean fuck, even in their engagement Emma was the one who took the first step)
But look at him. His face just gives everything off. It’s like he gave himself up for her to judge and punish him, as if he’s at her complete mercy. He knows, oh Heavens above, he knows how fucked up this all is but he can’t just tell her the truth now that she literally brought down all of her walls. She deserves that. A happy proposal, even if it turns bitter later. Because she was the one to walk out on him, he always stayed. If he walked out on her now, it would break her.
Yes, that’s what she deserves. Not some coward running away right when she’s finally over her fears.
And God damn it she is so happy it makes me wanna cry.
The lost girl found home. The home she chose to have, with a pirate who will never stop fighting for her happiness. And to her it’s just that moment where she can finally lean back and say “It’s finally over” and start living her happy ending/beginning. And he sees that.
He’s happy for her, that even for a little while, she got what she deserved so much. Until he thinks about how little he deserves that.
That he can’t have that. He doesn’t want to have that, not like that.
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