Midday Malevolence

Angel. He/Him. 33. Aspiring starving artist and shitposter. Spooky shit rules.

[embleer-hrair-rah]

Yo Command? SG-1 doin weird shit again

[dumblr]

I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we’re from the same star.

[embleer-hrair-rah]

I never thought of cooking as an expression of love, just something you have to do to survive. Like filling a car with gas. A necessary task to maintain life.

But I often cook for my friends now, and even more strangers, and hearing the exclamations and compliments, it makes me feel nice.

Yeah, maybe I can't relate to a lot of people and maybe the way that I am and the way that I think isn't welcome in a lot of places, but I always feel at home when someone is enjoying a meal I made for them.

It makes me want to be better, to reach heights I've never seen before. Its made me rethink my relationship with food and with creating in general. I've never cared much for fame or glory, but I think that if I died and someone spoke at my funeral and said they'd miss a dish I would always make for them, I would feel like my life would have ended with meaning.

As humans I think thats all we're ever striving for. Recognition for the ways we love those around us. To know our energy was appreciated, loved, and will be missed.

Im lucky to have that in my life now, even if it's honestly only one or two people that feel so.

Self discovery is weird. But good. And I can honestly say that even with all my trials and challenges I've faced in my life, I feel good about where I am now. It could have always been worse. Definitely.

[embleer-hrair-rah]

You never knew me if you honestly believe all that.

[yourdeaddoll]

if i had a vampire lover i would wear their bite marks like an accessory

[castielsupernatural]

it’s not oversharing if they’re your tumblr mutual

[ufo-offical]

*flies past*

[castielsupernatural]

[c3rvida3]

Whitetail deer can only be killed by The Amulet, but unfortunately for deer, the dastardly wizards at Ford Motor Company have placed a small fragment of The Amulet in the grill of every F150.

[himynameisemail]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

HOMF

[embleer-hrair-rah]

You ran away and avoided the problem, then came up with all the reasons you were a victim and never once asked yourself if you even treated me right. You just existed in space around me and thought that was enough.

And I told you all this. But you didn't take it seriously. And you're surprised I left? But sure, go on about how I'm secretly still in love with my ex or whatever the fuck. Any stupid excuse to not see the plain truth before you.

You became complacent and spewed empty promises of change, for me, for yourself, for your daughter, for your life. You took some shrooms and did some spells and lit some candles instead of actually doing the work. Changing your thought patterns. Confronting your behavior. Accepting responsibility for your actions.

And you're upset i didn't allow myself to be mistreated while you tried to avoid figuring your shit out?

Let's not even start with the fact that you were in a relationship when we met, decided not to tell me, and made me the other man. Yet, you became pissed and jealous that evidence even existed of my past relationships. You cheated on guys because you became bored, treated them all with such little respect after the fact, and then tried to play victim, blaming them for your actions.

If I didn't have those stupid fucking stars in my eyes I would've seen all this and ran the other direction. I should've. But here we are.

I miss you, but I won't subject myself to the behavior. Just make me another story of another man that "failed" you.

Enjoy your new relationship. Hope you learned something.

[mynheer-deer]

100 percent of smokers quit before they find the golden cigarette of eternal youth.

[embleer-hrair-rah]

crazy how people think they're super open minded until you make them confront shit outside their usual memorandum of understanding. Just because your thoughts are alternative doesn't mean you're open minded. People would do well to remember that.

[embleer-hrair-rah]

I'm disappointed but not surprised.

[agnes-nielsens]

hey i saw you across the room at the devil's sacrament and loved your vibe

[cryptid-corpse]

I am beginning to understand that the type of undying love I seek only exists in my day dreams

[doubledumbass]

How To With John Wilson (2020)

[miraclemaya]

it's kinda crazy what a common experience it is for like your parents to do something insanely traumatizing to you and then just not remember they did it at all while you remember forever

[embleer-hrair-rah]

Life is different and I'm fine. And I feel like I have a handle on the type of person I am and what I'm willing to deal with and allowing myself the grace of making mistakes and learning from them. And for the first time in a very long while, I feel solid. Like life exists outside my walls and purpose isn't such a strange feeling to hone and embracing what you do doesn't have to be a shameful thing and you can still have and work towards goals besides all this. I hope I never doubt myself again.