being gay isnt a choice, ur bi lmfao it has 0 to do w being ~restricted by sexuality~
1. i don’t identify as bi but thx
2. i don’t literally think that any woman can be a lesbian, or that lesbians are just bi women who have gone rogue, and i don’t think the op does either.
3. what i AM saying (and what i think the OP is saying) is that lots and lots of straight women are probably less straight than they think. who you are attracted to is not inherently a choice, but heterosexuality is often chosen for people.i don’t mean ~everyone is bi~ or that straight women MUST try to be queer in order to fully realize their own sexuality. i’m just saying that like, it is probably useful for many straight women to know that they have more room than they think to explore, should they be interested in doing that. a lot of women know they’re gay or bi without question and from a young age, and that’s cool. but a lot of women who are predominantly but not exclusively attracted to men grow up assuming they are 100% straight, and at least for me, that was limiting. it was really freeing to realize that i could date and love women, and that i could even date and love ONLY women, if i wanted to. and no, i don’t believe that the reverse of this is necessarily true for lesbians.
4. tbh, though, it was also somewhat limiting to think that the moment i deviated from “gay” or “straight,” i automatically had to declare myself as bi, which is what you have decided to do for me in this anonymous message. did i mention i’m not bi lol. i mean, i recognize that the term has been historically misunderstood and that it doesn’t mean “just two genders” or that you’re “exactly 50/50” attracted to them. however, the term still feels limiting to me, even if the general “spirit” of bisexuality is quite inclusive. like..i don’t know. why should “bi” be the all purpose term for anyone that isn’t 100% gay or straight, and why do some people who identify as bi think me naive or obtuse to reject the term for myself?
if i’m 90% attracted to men and 10% to women, am i still bi? if i’m a lesbian who hooks up with men sometimes, does that mean i can’t be a lesbian anymore? is a bi person anyone who isn’t 100% attracted to a single sex? because if so, that describes a lot of the population, and perhaps we need more than one single all purpose word for those people. perhaps bisexuality shouldn’t be “everything else” and should be only for the people who actively claim it.
5. i think that bi is a useful term for some and has been useful historically but right now to me in this moment in my brain in the year 2017 it feels like a relic from the 90s. ive now forgotten what the original question was but thank u for reading my personal blog, god bless
***ETAhi this is emily’s gf kylie and i also don’t identify as bi but fluid :)
