taking care of yourself 101
here is a (mostly) comprehensive list of things that I have learned within my past 3 (almost 4) years now of being independent.
1.) get your basics down. drink water, eat good food with nutrients, get quality sleep, and move your body in some way. these are the building blocks of a pleasant existence, the bare minimum required to feel at peace in your flesh suit.
1.a) drink water. this is important because you need it to survive and for your brain to function properly. dehydration has negative effects on vigor, esteem-related affect, short-term memory, and attention. I've noticed within myself that when I'm dehydrated, my drive to get things done tanks, and I feel like I've failed everyone I've ever loved. so, add your MIO if you have to, but drink it.
1.b) eat good food with nutrients. do this in any way that works for you. blend your veggies into a pasta sauce, drink smoothies, eat and entire spinach salad, etc. and also make sure you're getting adequate protein intake. aim for whole food sources as much as possible to ease any tummy trouble, but do what works for you. whole food sources typically make me feel the best, and actually feel fueled for my day, so I tend to aim for 80% whole food, 20% processed.
1.c) quality sleep. this one is difficult for a lot of us, seeing as 1 in three adults suffer with insomnia, but do what you can. magnesium glycinate has done wonders for me, as well as sticking to consistent sleep/wake times when possible, and sleeping in a slightly cool room. getting sunlight in my eyes in the mornings is also great, but this winter I've been doing that less because of the cold, so don't stress too much about it. sleep is so important for brain and body recovery, and for overall health. lacking sleep can make overall existence feel bleh and you won't even know why.
1.d) moving your body. you do not have to be a gym goer who lifts weights, (although it is great for your health,) and you don't have to be an olympic level athlete in whatever sport. moving your body is a necessity, just like breathing. humans are active creatures, its a requirement! so, do whatever movement feels best for you and that you enjoy doing. yoga, walking, swimming, ice skating, pilates, stretching, soccer, volleyball, running, playing just dance, as long as you like it, do it!! the endorphins released in your brain when you participate in physical activity do wonders for your mood and mental health, and having a well functioning cardiovascular system and any sort of muscle mass will help you tons as you age.
2.) let the things that hurt you, hurt. relax around your pain as much as possible. feel its weight. only then can you let it go. for years, I repressed my trauma. I kept it in its little box, I refused to bat an eye at the horrors laid within it, I made myself guarded and "strong" in the face of it. after doing this for over a decade, it manifested into physical ailments that no doctor could figure out, and an inner turmoil that soiled relationships and made me feel like a horrid no good person. I didn't understand why someone yelling made me want to sob, I didn't get why slammed doors made my chest sink to the bottom of the ocean, and I didn't know why I continued to hurt the people I cared most about. only once I opened there box did it all start to unfold.
2.b) let the things that hurt you, hurt. the more you try and shift away from the pain that is settled deep within you, the more it appears in your day to day life. the more you try and repress tears and keep yourself from thinking about it, the worse it will be when its finally time to face it. if you feel the need to cry, cry. if you feel the need to rant, or yell or scream, to wallow in misery, or sob about how its unfair and life is hard, don't keep yourself from it. let the emotion have its moments. only then may it pass.
2.c) relax around your pain as much as possible. babies can survive tumbles down stairs, and people who are intoxicated are more likely to survive a car crash, and the more you tense in the face of your pain, the more it will hurt you. practice Yoga Nidra, deep breathing exercises, and learn what being relaxed feels like in your body. anything else will work its way out from there.
2.d) some more practical tips. get your thoughts out, talk to people, or put it on paper. learn your triggers and start to understand their root. practice mediation and breathing exercises. if you're a menstruating person, learn and understand the different phases of your cycle. stay off a screen as much as possible, and instead indulge in hobbies. get as much sunlight as you possibly can. get outdoors and interacting with nature as much as humanly possible. sit quietly with yourself frequently.
PART 3 : environmental health
3.) keep your space clean. do your laundry. weed out unhelpful relationships. create a routine for yourself. your environment effects you in more ways than you probably realize, and once you start to fine tune it, the better you will feel.
3.a) keep your space clean. I can admit, this one is still a major work in progress for me. it's probably the aspect I currently struggle with the most. my advice is to start small, and really take note of your habits. always have dirty clothes on the bathroom floor? put a basket in there. have trouble keeping things tidy? figure out your most relocated items and give them homes. trouble doing maintenance cleaning? give yourself small rewards whenever you complete difficult tasks. don't feel the need to completely overhaul-Marie-Kondo your life if that's not your thing. start small. go from there.
3.b) do your laundry. this one is probably my second biggest struggle. but, knowing I have clothes clean gives me a peace of mind like no other. figure out what aspect you hate the most and try and hack it. hate bending down to fold laundry? do it standing up at a table. have trouble getting yourself to switch it? take it to a second location (laundromat, partner or parents home, etc.) so you are forced to do it within a certain time frame. then, sit back and enjoy clean socks and underwear.
3.c) weed out unhelpful relationships. have people in your life who constantly make you doubt the person you are, who have bad habits you don't want to associate yourself with, or who keep you in the box of the person you've always been? its time to reevaluate. the people you spend your time around have an effect on you whether you like it or not, so filling your circle with people who uplift and support you, who help you to push through rough patches, and you can feel overall good around is essential. remember you don't owe anyone anything. block the number. remove the friend. do what you have to do for your best version of self, and better people will start to fill those gaps.
3.d) create a routine. if you're a human, your brain loves predictability. it loves having a pattern. even if its something as simple as you wake up in the morning and drink tea, your mind will thank you for it. plus, being on a consistent routine makes your day to day life easier. you don't have to think about what you're going to do, you just do it. start by making a morning and a night routine for yourself, and make two versions. one is the bare minimum required on any given day, and the other if for when you're feeling great and have the time for some extras. and remember to revisit the drawing board frequently to adjust it to work best for yourself.
PART 4 : general life advice
4.) do things that bring you genuine joy. eat warm bread, sit in a sunny windowsill, compliment a stranger, play video games, draw silly little guys, take a million MacBook selfies, whatever puts a smile on your face. don't keep yourself from life's subtle pleasantries. relish in the fact that you are alive with a heart that beats and a mouth that can smile. take note of the small joys you experience in your day to day. within such lies life's meaning.
5.) keep hygienic. brush your teeth, wash your face, shower frequently, wear deodorant, etc. you don't have to do anything super crazy for this one, but keeping up on hygiene is a good way to build self confidence and overall honor yourself. you are a person worthy of care. remember to treat yourself like it.
6.) listen to your intuition. this one takes a good amount of practice, but learn to differentiate good vs bad feelings in your body, and use that signal to guide you. take a lot of time in silence with yourself, learn to hold your opinions sacred, and get to know yourself. ask yourself questions like its a first date, and take note of your answers.
THATS ALL FOR NOW FOLKS!! I may make a part two depending on how I'm feeling, and feel free to ask any questions! my ask box is open. love y'all, and have a great day <3
