Emillia Justina @emilliajustina - Tumblr Blog

I hate not having enough money because I can't be generous to others.

Know that I loved you so bad

I let you treat me like that

I was your willing accomplice honey,

Those things I did

Just so I could call you mine

The things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime,

Cause baby, you were mine.

I wish I have the luxury to runaway from my chaotic life.

I always like to imagine myself in a better situation because it distract me from my fucked up life. And just for a little bit it feels good.

It still hurts but what am I thankful for is that, I don't cry anymore and the pain is slowly fading away.

Dear Self, I’m sorry. I’m putting you in a bad situation again. Why am I doing that? Why do I fuck up all the time? Why does I make my life miserable?

I still can’t forget you. Every once in a while I still think and dream of you. But I did learn how to live without you. I did learn how to put you behind me and keep going. How not to let you get to me. How not to let you ruin my day anymore. I am not fully healed yet. But I sure did learn how to move on. I sure did learn how to keep fighting. How to be a better version of myself. And that’s what counts. The way I lifted myself after the fall. The way I survived the storm–the aftershocks. The way I thought it was the end. Only to find out it was only the beginning. Sometimes I still wonder about us. And that’s okay. But it’s not enough for me to go back to you. It’s not enough to dwell on the past. I’ve learned far too much. And gone a whole lot further than I ever thought possible. THIS IS THE EVERY MOMENT I WISH I HAD WHEN I FELT BROKEN. IT IS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND MORE. This is my time. I’m healing. I’m getting through it. And the process looks so beautiful in me. I’m just gotta stay strong.

For countless of time I'm in the bad shape of my life. And I hate it here.

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A Place In This World

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me 'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out Don't know what's down this road I'm just walking Trying to see through the rain coming down Even though I'm not the only one, who feels The way I do

I'm alone, on my own And that's all I know, I'll be strong, I'll be wrong But life goes on, I'm just a girl Trying to find a place in this world

Highkey wanna restart my whole life.

#thoughts #sad thoughts #qoutes #sad qoutes #poetry #sad poetry #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spilled feelings #Broken #Empty #Sad #relatable quotes #Relate #Depress

I feel so hopeless in this life. But I have no choice but to move forward, even if I don’t know if I’m making a progress. But it’s really getting tired. I just want to be untie in this chain called living.

My biggest regret in my life is, why did I ever loved you. And fuck, I hate myself for loving you.

Can the world just stop for a moment and wait for me?

I wish that what I’m going through right now is what they call, me just being dramatic in my life. But no, it is deeper than that. I also hate being like this.

I feel like breaking down, I feel out of place. Like somehow I just don't belong and no one understands me. I want to run away. I lock myself in my room with the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears me crying.

I want to be somebody else. I'm sick of feeling so left out. I'm desperate to find something more before my life is over. I'm stuck inside a world I hate. I'm sick of everyone around with the big fake smiles and stupid lies but deep inside I'm bleeding.

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay. Everybody always gave you what you wanted, you never had to work it was always there.

No you don't know what its like when nothing feels alright. You don't know what its like to be like me. To be hurt, to feel lost. To be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down and no one there to save you. No you don't know what its like, welcome to my life.

I just want to be free from the cage I made for myself. I just want to be free from all my inner demons. I don’t want to feel like shit anymore.

Why is it so hard to find motivation in living?? It’s been years but i’m still stuck in this incompetent life of mine. I’m tired. I just want to disappeared.

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