#miserable life

[awkwardbrunettegirl]

lowkey

[memoirsofbilal]

“Some people are drawn to chaos, not because they wish to mend what is broken, but because the storm makes them feel significant. They mistake conflict for passion, turmoil for depth, and suffering for strength. They do not long for resolution; they crave a reaction. Beware of such souls—they will turn harmony into war just to feel like warriors, turn pain into a home and insist you live there with them. But here’s what you must remember: You are not obliged to stay. Misery clings to company, but you are free to leave. Choosing peace is not surrender. Walking away is not weakness. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is refuse to be a character in a story that was never yours to tell.” – memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

[rottenelusive]

My biggest and delusive fantasy is being loved and cared for. Just by one person that will take their time of day to care about me. Someone who wants to hold me and talk to me. Just someone who wants me as much as i want them. Not lusting over someone else, just me. They don’t need to be rich or the most handsome or the smartest. They just need to be themselves, like i can be with them. I want them to care about me like im their child. I want them to help me improve myself. I want to learn from them. I want them to hold me while they talk about their life. I wish they would always wanna kiss me and if they do with love. And while we fuck that he also cares about me and listens to me and my body. He knows i would do anything for me and trusts me. He cares about my interests and i care about his. He takes me on real dates and gives me a reason to live for. I want him to be truthful and tell me when something is wrong. Isn’t scared to communicate with me and asks me the right questions. Doesn’t hit me or get mad at the smallest things. Tells me its okay when i feel like im dying. Gives me space when i need to. Doesn’t think im weird or childish and doesn’t make fun of me. Doesn’t say im ugly and doesn’t compare me to other girls. And most of all if he doesn’t like me anymore tells me why and how and doesn’t just leave me behind with nothing. Leave me with peace and understanding so i can also move on…maybe someday lol

[lyraashen]

From book I won't write.

[crmsnmth]

The Mornings: Spring 2013

Wake up to drink bitter coffee add salt to balance it out add whiskey as a hair of the dog heartburn rushes me already spend the morning staring at the wall revel in the silence

Smoke a cigarette aggressively brush my teeth It doesn't matter how often I always seem to spit blood Let it stain the sink Drink beer in the shower

Throw on dirty jeans wore them everyday this week grab a t-shirt off the floor smell it it's fine throw it on with a cigarette still in my mouth

Walk outside, walk to work another day I want to jump the bridge but I put my headphones Milo yells in my ears Move through the blocks pass by her old apartment stabbing knife pain every single fucking time

Take a different route miss seeing your place miss your room miss you Get to work early still learning the timing Pop a Valium and go inside

Elevator up to 12 Cute girl gets on I should say hi I should say nothing and so I don't Smile politely Echo and The Bunny men

Sigh sit at desk and take calls pretend I give a shit pretend I'm doing my job Cubicle cemetery computer chair coffins

think about getting high pop another Valium

I am alone and I hate everything

[mymiserablediaries]

Girls I'm crying so hard rn I can't keep living this way I just had a fight with mom over stupid shit cs I wanted to go out and she said nobody does something I don't want to, and she started yelling at me and other stuff

I just wish I could find a way to get tf outta here, she hurt me so bad that I wanna leave the whole country, let alone the fact she doesn't let me go out and find a job so I wish u could suggest me some kinda job from the internet or something to do so I can earn my own money 😭😭😭😭💗

[aux-barricades]

I had a dream that I had to give a 30-minute presentation about something France-related for French class at uni. It was due that very afternoon, I hadn't thought about it and of course didn't have time to prepare anything, but I was like "oh, not to worry, I can talk about Les Mis for hours, that'll just have to tell me when to stop".

My first idea was to just introduce my presentation with the title "Les misérables", but then I thought I'd better narrow it down and went for "Homoeroticism in Les misérables" and decided to focus on Enjoltaire, Valvert and Hugolras.

And there I was (me, who hate talking in public and am so grateful I don't have to do it anymore), with no outline, no Powerpoint, not even a short rehearsal at home, ready to talk non-stop for half an hour about how gay Les Mis is.

I wish my former classmates and teachers knew how lucky they were I hadn't read Les Mis when I was a student.

[vampmary1411]

he said he loved me but then started dating someone else the next day