Lexie & Dorian | Cravings
Lexie didn’t think the day would ever come to an end. She had gotten Tyler settled throughout the past hour and had been standing outside on the curb ever since. She was proud of herself for accomplishing such a duty. She managed to nurse a man back to health, rescuing him from impending death, but she couldn’t help but think about how things always seemed to fall into her lap. It was only the bad shit, too, even if Tyler turned out to be a decent guy. All she was hoping for was a week of rest out there beyond the trees. Being around town was exhausting for her and she was tired of waiting around hoping that Piper would come to her senses and speak to her. She was tired of cuddling up to Dorian every night and having to cope with that terrible feeling that something was out of place. Most of all, she was tired of not being able to breathe. She could never fucking breathe. The weight of Purgatory had never been so heavy upon her shoulders before. Not once had she ever wished to be alive again with her far-from-perfect life. Lexie shamed herself immediately for even letting that thought in.
Things were settling down for the night in town. The streets were always crowded with people during the day. There was a farmer’s market, music playing, residents holding their cheerful conversations – it was far from what she knew of Ben and Eric’s town and she felt thankful for escaping while she could. She was happy here. At least that’s what she was supposed to feel. Lexie began heading in the direction of her home, craving a joint and the sweet comfort of her bed. She didn’t want to hang around, hoping Piper would pass by. She also wasn’t in the mood to spend her time with Dorian tonight and Lexie knew she’d regret not informing him, but there wasn’t an ounce of energy left in her pushing her to stop by his place. God, how she missed cellphones.
“Lex! Hey! Wait up!”
She had spoken too soon. There he was, probably already into his third drink with two more beers in hand and a lit joint between his lips. As usual, Dorian’s hair was a disheveled mop atop his head and the buttons on his shirt were almost entirely undone. If there was anyone who knew how to unwind, it was Dorian.
He kept running down the street, his legs stumbling a bit as he caught up with Lexie, who was watching with amusement at the scene. “It’s a miracle you didn’t eat shit on your way over here,” she said, crossing her arms.
“This isn’t my first rodeo.” He waved the beers in his hand, holding them out for Lexie to take one. “I wasn’t expecting you to be back so early. I thought you were off being all spiritual and touching yourself out in the woods or something.”
“You mean getting in touch with myself?” Lexie chuckled, snatching a beer out of his hand.
“Ah, I could’ve sworn you said the first one, but I guess I’ll take your word for it,” he said, popping open the beer bottle. Slowly removing the joint from his mouth, he handed it out toward Lexie who quickly obliged. “Why ya’ back so soon?”
Lexie took a drag, shutting her eyes in that brief moment of solace. A shower and bed was all she wanted, but Dorian brought goodies that she couldn’t resist. “You tryin’ to get rid of me or something?”
“Would I have stolen these beers from the pub if I were?” He cackled, grabbing the joint back. Lexie shook her head, tossing the bottle cap at him.
“Dorian, you gotta stop stealing from there!  They’re gonna find out and then they’re going to yell at me because of your drunk ass. I actually have friends in there, stop trying to make them hate me.” The alcohol felt soothing as it sloshed around in her mouth before gliding down her throat. The taste was more bitter than she would’ve liked, but she wasn’t complaining. Lexie’s relationship with alcohol was an interesting one. She would go days without a proper drink and not be bothered. Instead, she’d actually be proud of herself for taking care of her body and not poisoning it with any of the concoctions at the bar. The hiatus never lasted long, though. She was always back at it soon enough. She liked to think of them as cleanses, prepping her tolerance for the next round. Piper would call it a dependency, a craving. Lexie stopped listening to her a long time ago, but only because Piper stopped speaking.
“Alright, alright. I’ll never do it again, pinky promise,” Dorian said, holding out his pinky to Lexie for a moment before taking another drag. She knew he was lying, but it was a losing battle from the beginning.
Lexie searched the nighttime streets. There were people stumbling home from the pub, a few residents out for a late walk, a couple of people heading in for the night shift at the clinic. Everyone was going about their lives and they all had somewhere to be. Yet there was Lexie and her wayward friend, beers in hand while smoking their lives away just to find a thrill in something. She had no purpose here, nowhere to be. The newbies wandering in from whatever massacre had taken pace in the other town would find their own purpose, as well. This place was like a fairytale to them – they were bound to fall in love with this life, something Lexie couldn’t bring herself to do.
“I planned to be out for much longer, but I came across one of the new people out in the forest. He was injured – pretty bad stab wound – so I took the time to help him. This place won’t let me stay away for too long, I guess.” The condensation from the bottle brought a numbness to Lexie’s hand and she quickly wiped it on her sweater, frowning at the loss of feeling beneath her skin. Dorian came up to her then, tossing an arm around her shoulder playfully.
“Listen, Lex. You saved a guys life, people love you, you’ve got these beers – what more could ya ask for? It sounds like Purgatory is giving you everything and you just don’t want to take it…” She could hear the hesitancy in her voice. Dorian didn’t like to step on her toes and Lexie could tell when he was being careful with his words. But nothing would let herself snap at him. Not when she felt like he was the only one left.
“Piper isn’t here–”
“For fuck sakes, Lexie. Come on, now. If Piper wanted to be around us, she would be. We were stupid, but that was a long time ago and we already apologized for it. If she doesn’t want to accept that, then fine. But I refuse to walk around feeling bad for myself when I’ve already learned from that mistake, and I suggest you do the same.” He tossed the joint down onto the ground, smashing it forcefully under the weight of his shoe. The anger in his face was evident, even in the darkness, and he was avoiding eye contact with her. Lexie had heard it all before, but it wasn’t as simple as the picture Dorian liked to paint for her. Piper was her everything, her best friend. She reminded Lexie of home and they grew to be the closest friends that could ever exist. Their cabin in the forest, their antics around town, their late night chats that always ended in laughter, tears, and tequila shot at 4am – these were the things that made her feel at home here. They were like sisters – they’d borrow each others clothes, perform karaoke at the pub on Tuesday nights, and tease Dorian until he gave into their silly requests. They were once a trio, a family. Now Lexie looks around and finds Dorian on one side, and a missing spot on the other. She would be quicker to latch onto him, he’s all she really has left, but Lexie knows how well he does on his own and she’s trying to do the same. It pains her to succumb to isolation just to teach herself how to handle things on her own. She hates it. She’d rather be fully dead than pretend she’s okay.
There was a silence between them. Laughter emanated down the street by a few passerby’s, and Dorian looked at her as if awaiting a response she didn’t know how to give. Sighing, he placed both hands on Lexie’s shoulders. She could feel tears burning, but God be damned if she was going to let them through.
“Stop giving your heart out to people that give you nothing in return.”
“Stop pretending like you don’t miss her, too.” She could see the hurt in Dorian’s eyes. It had always been there, he was just better at hiding it than she was. They both ditched the poor girl in the middle of Eric’s home, allowing her to be tied up and tortured for two years while they did nothing but flee to freedom. Lexie and Dorian spent so much time loathing themselves for their actions. They even spent months creating new plans to sneak in and free Piper, but nothing came to fruition. Soon enough it became to easier to give into the luxuries of Peter’s town, and god knows they deserved it, so they gave up. They had no way of knowing about Piper’s condition, anyway. It was easier for Lexie to think the girl managed to get free soon after. That’s what stopped the nightmares at night.
Dorian tossed his beer bottle to the curb, the sound of shattering class echoing through the now empty street. It was then that Lexie heard footsteps behind her.
“Peter”
“Lexie. Dorian. I would think you two respect this town too much to litter,” he said, pointing to the broken beer bottle beside him. She wasn’t expecting him to be out so late into the night and it made Lexie curious.
“He’s going to pick it up right away, I promise.” Dorian nodded in agreement, flashing a goofy smile. Everyone acted like such children in front of Peter. He was like the celebrity of the town that everyone would bow down to. He was a stark contrast to what she remembered of Eric and Ben. Everyone held so much respect for the man and with all the lives he has saved, he deserves to be treated like royalty.
“Get him home in one piece, will you?” Peter said, smiling at Lexie. “I also heard about your wonderful achievement earlier in saving that poor man. We always need people like you around here. It takes great courage to devote so much to someone in need. I’d like to thank you, Lexie.”
“It was nothing, really. I was already venturing out–”
“Trying to leave us, are you?” Peter laughed, raising a brow at her words.
“That’s what I said, but of course it’s a much better question when you say it, sir.” Dorian was carefully scooping the glass up into his hands, maintaining the best sober state possible for Peter.
Peter’s question alarmed Lexie for a moment. She never wanted to seem ungrateful to the man after all he had done for her and everyone else in town. Peter had a personal story with Piper, as well, and Lexie was well aware that he mostly knew them all as the trio they once were. But Peter never pried, nor asked too many questions. She wondered if Piper had told him anything.
“Not at all, Peter. There are just times where… a bit of silence and solitude is needed. The forest is a great place for that.”
“Indeed, it is. Just be careful out there. I’d like you both to be on the look out for any newcomers. I have a feeling more will be wandering in throughout the next few days.” Lexie nodded. She could see the worry on his face. She wondered the great difficulty it was to watch over a town such as this one.
Peter gave the two of them a nod. “I’ll be on my way, then. Was just taking a stroll through the neighborhood. Have a nice night, you two. Oh, and Dorian?”
Dorian shot up, dropping the glass particles on the floor. “Yes, sir?”
“Stop stealing beers from the bar”
Lexie couldn’t stifle her laughter at the sight of Dorian’s beet-red face as Peter walked into the night. His embarrassment was evident and he shot Lexie a look before taking the beer out of her hand.
“Shut up, we both know I’m his favorite.”
“I must’ve forgotten to sign up for the popularity contest. Have you been crowned his adopted son yet?” Lexie burst into another fit of laughter as he waved his hand at her.
“I’m heading in for the night. You coming?” There were many nights Lexie and Dorian spent together. She didn’t entirely know what it was, really – a romance or a friends-with-benefits deal. Their feelings about each other were always conflicted and neither has admitted to anything except their joy in each others company, something that was already known. Most of the time they didn’t even do anything but fall asleep in the same bed, but breathing in that cherry and pine smell soothed her, the rise and fall of his chest reminding her that she wasn’t alone. Even on the nights when alcohol stained his breath, beads of sweat dripping down his temples, she wanted to be near him.
Lexie glanced behind her as if someone else were calling out to her. “I… I think I’m good for tonight. I need to be on my own after the crazy few days I’ve had.” With a nod and wave goodbye, Dorian disappeared down the street.
And all Lexie wanted to do was call him back.
