Emily Starke

Emily Stark. 18. At Eastwick for Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa.

[marissa-mcnally]

Flashbacks…chest pain…in other words I’ve come to the realization today’s going to suck. 

[emily-starke]

Oh. I'm really sorry to hear about that. I definitely know about flashbacks.

[marissa-mcnally]

Ah damn not again…not today.

[emily-starke]

What's wrong?

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

Not even Orange is the New Black?

[emily-starke]

Nope, not even that.

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

[lyric-coral]

What makes you say that? He’s a really good guy, Em..

You haven’t done anything bad to me, and I am very proud of you. I’m glad that you haven’t. I doubt that, I’ve been here for nine months and I’ve been still doing it, and you haven’t been here that long and you haven’t. If that doesn’t show strength I don’t know what does. But..they were your friends, Em..your best friends. 

[emily-starke]

No.. I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have said that.. I don't know him.. He seems to care about you a lot.

Yes I have, Lyric.. I know you don't want to admit it, but it's time I admit it. You don't know that.. You just have to try.. You have people here that care about you. You have your sister and me. We both care about you very much. No Lyric.. I don't know about that. They weren't truly my friends. You were my only true friend. They were just people that were there.

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

It’s a Netflix only show, actually.

[emily-starke]

Oh, really? I haven't ever actually seen one of those.

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

[lyric-coral]

You met Drew? You didn’t say anything really embarrassing did you? And we are a thing..I guess..sort of, I don’t know. Definitely not anything that would result with me being pregnant. 

I’m really proud of you for not doing it, it shows how strong you really are. Listen a little bit is better than none, you need your energy and you need to maintain some sort of stamina so even if its half an apple, its better than none. We were best friends since we were little, what kind of friend would I be if I just let that go? That’s my point. 

[emily-starke]

I don't think I ever got his name, but I think that was him. Nope. Didn't say anything embarrassing at all. I hope not. He doesn't look like father material.

Don't be proud of me.. I've done too many bad things to you. I'm not going to get better here.. I know I'm not.. I'm going to be stuck here forever and you are going to get out of here before I even get halfway through my recovery and I honestly won't blame you. You are such a stronger person than I am. I don't know.. I don't want to think about them.. A part of me really hates them. 

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

It’s about this congressman who literally will do whatever it takes to have all the power in Washington D.C. with his wife. It’s really good.

[emily-starke]

That sounds good. Is it on Netflix?

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

House of Cards, now that’s a show.

[emily-starke]

What's it about, exactly?

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

Then watch something else.

[emily-starke]

What would you suggest?

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

[lyric-coral]

What other way is there to think about it? I know you would, but right now we don’t even have a baby daddy and thankfully so. You don’t need to worry about being a god mother for a long time. 

I know that and I hate that you do, but you cant lie to me and say that you haven’t done it while you’ve been here too, because I know I have..its only been a day since the last time I have, and I haven’t really eaten that much since.  Well you weren’t a bitch to me, you helped me a lot and I cant do much else than thank you for that. And hows that working? 

[emily-starke]

I don't know.. Maybe just the fact that it has only been nine months.. Well, someone came up to me and told me that you two were kind of having a thing, so maybe.

I know.. and I won't, Lyric.. I have since I've been here. I can't tell you the last time I ate.. I mean, i ate an apply today, half of it that is. Because you were always my best friend, even though I am a bitch. It's not working as well as I would like to.

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

I like fun, that’s not the fun you, girlie, need to be having. Go watch Teen Mom or whatever you teenage girls do.

[emily-starke]

That's the type of fun i was having basically every weekend of my life. Teen Mom is as stupid as Keeping up With the Kardashians.

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

I know, but don’t do it, k?

[emily-starke]

Come on, don't try and ruin the little fun people have in here.

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

[lyric-coral]

I could of had a baby since I’ve been here and that’s not really something to be proud of. 

And you think I am? You lasted longer than I did, you made it to the finals, you played under pressure. That scholarship was never mind to begin with and you really only pointed things out that I was too blind to see, but now I see them and I’m fixing them, so It’s fine. I know that they weren’t that..nice to us..well, to me, you were like their God but that didn’t mean I didn’t try..and it doesn’t mean that we weren’t with them everyday. How can you not think about them? 

[emily-starke]

Don't think about it that way, but if you ever do have a baby I have dibs on the god mother.

Maybe I lasted longer, but that means I was purging and starving myself even longer. I don't know about that, Lyric. I really don't. It was yours to begin with. I was a total bitch and that's exactly what all those girls turned me into. A hardcore bitch. I didn't say I don't think about them, I try not to though.

[luckydelmonico-deactivated20140]

I would say don’t take meds if you don’t really need them, but that would make me a hypocrite right now.

[emily-starke]

But that's not very fun.

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

[lyric-coral]

Nine months. 

I care though, and you didn’t throw away your life. You threw away a scholarship that was yours but you didn’t throw away your life. How can you say that stuff though, Em? We played on the same team with these girls..these were the people we spent our weekends with, staying after school until 7 and 8 o’clock just to practice and they just completely disregard our existence. 

[emily-starke]

Has it really been that long? Damn...

I know you do, Lyric and that is understanding. I did. I'm not going to have a very good luck getting into college with this place on my resume. I tried to steal your scholarship and it came back to bite me in the ass. I know we did.. I know what kind of girls they are too. I just, I don't know what to say. I mean.. I try to not think about them. 

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

[lyric-coral]

Since I got here. 

The whole team is probably gossiping about us you know, or by this point they might have just forgotten about me, and son we’ll just be people in the yearbook who got sent away to mental facility. 

[emily-starke]

How long has it been now?

You know what Lyric? I honestly don't care what they have to say. I already threw away my life. It doesn't really matter what they think now. Listen, if they wanna do that, then it's their choice, but I'm not going to let that bring me down. They're no good douche bags anyways.

[lyric-coral]

I cant believe its been /this/ long..

It only feels like it’s been three months. 

[lyric-coral]

[emily-starke]

Since what?