Em :)

Emily. 29. Melbourne. 🍝

[zegalba]

Grasshopper's Dream Cafe Located: Jeongseon, South Korea

[foreveriallyzombified]

BUG SEX HEADQUARTERS

[rae-conteur]

how DARE you try to leave this in the tags

[phantomrose96]

If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY

Are you in the Way?

Are you in the wAy?

Are you in the waY?

If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

[riotghou1]

[knightofleo]

😾

[jackdawsfavorite]

bonus

[medusas-daughter]

Chappell Roan, who left her talent agency when she found out the Ceo was in the Epstein Files, is getting more hate than people in the actual Epstein files. Pedophiles are currently presidents and starting wars, wife beaters are getting awards and selling out stadiums, but a lesbian who is not the nicest most cheerful person 24/7 is the actual devil and getting banned from performing. I think she should be meaner. Let her be the nastiest bitch in the world. Maybe more women will wake up from the fucking trance this world has put us through and realise being "not nice" is not the biggest crime in the world.

[importantanimalstories]

This is Gilbert. He’s been around a while. Attributes his long life to many, many years of always getting what he wants

[serozvero]

Well, now I'm a Gilbert fan. That sly villainous grin and squint…

[pocketss]

healthcare professional 🫡

[styofa]

dogs dogs dogs

[lesbianartandartists]

Maxine Wolfe, Belfast, Ireland, 1998

[carpenters3]

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

[catgirlforeskin]

wait THAT’S why my wife always says “son boy allowed” about our cat??

[gayvampyr]

happy 5 years to son boy allowed

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[aikaikaik]

THE TUMBLR HORSE DERBY

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TUMBLR HORSE DERBY (that i know of, anyway)

HOW TO HORSE: 🐎🐎🐎 - Vote for your FAVOURITE horse to make them go faster! (yknow, like those carnival horse derby games!) MAY THE BEST HORSE WIN

CHOOSE YOUR RACER🐎🐎🐎🐎

🐎Little Big Huge

🐎 CLOPFUCKER 5000

🐎Father Chrysler

🐎I Like Your Shoelaces

🐎THE END OF ALL THINGS

🐎squanch

🐎of course

🐎honse

🐎Sisyphus of Plinko

🐎cheese charcuterie

Voting ended onJun 29, 2023

(also sample size reblog yadda yadda yadda HORSE)

[frottinq]

thinking of the time I ordered olive garden online and I put "please speak to me in an Italian accent" in the special requests category and completely forgot about it, and when I went to pick it up the guy comes out and goes "eyyy I got-a your-a order bappada boopity!" and when I told him he didn't actually have to do it he was like "a-nooo I was-a looking forward to it! I was-a the only one-a brave enough to do it!"

[frottinq]

there are literally ppl in the notes acting like I made this up.... guys if I were gonna make up a story it would be about literally anything other than this

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think

[octal-alchemist]

oh?

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

so it helps to know that my mindset at the time was influenced by having been transphobically sealioned at a temping agency earlier, as well as spontaneously turning up to a different temping agency without an appointment & actually landing with them after THOSE guys turned out to be cool.

I was on the tram (crowded tram) (just after 11 AM) on my way home full of adrenaline still, and saw my dad eating a banana on the platform. I could get out of the tram to say hi, but then i'd miss the tram, or worse, hold it up. What i COULD do, however, is sprint out of the tram as soon as the door opens, take a bite from the banana my dad is holding, and SPRINT back into the tram before the doors close. So That Is What I Did.

unfortunately now roughly half of the passengers of the tram were looking at me like I was suddenly some sort of feral spirit of hunger or perhaps a strange insect of some sort.* Fortunately, the truth was also the ONE sequence of words that could make what they had just witnessed okay. I went "das ist mein papa!!!" which is german for "thats my dad!!!!!"

My dad seemed genuinely delighted by this btw. the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

i would like to beat the little german boy accusations based on my behavior before they arise. i am in fact a tall german trans girl.

however in everything except body i AM calvin from calvin & hobbes

[hornetstabber]

What’s your thoughts on sexual relations with robots?

i turned this computer on like 5 minutes ago can i have a brief moment of peace before i have to read these things please

[mr-deep-downer]

you turned the computer on 😳

[kedreeva]

(X)

[samcarpnter]

PRIDE CELEBRATION 2023: FAVORITE COUPLES

EVE & VILLANELLE ♡ KILLING EVE (2018-2022)