Letting go of what once was
It’s been 3 days since I last saw him. And things went drastically different. I started to cry, locked myself and loss my appetite. Kinda weird, yes but feels all right.
January 31, 2016 when the man I loved the most left me. A one liner message actually ended our 3-year relationship. Unfortunately, it ended that way. And it hurts, it badly hurts like hell. And I can’t do anything about it but to let him go.
Who said it would be easy? As for me, he meant the world to me, so how do you expect me to go on life that easily? It never been easy. It took me a lot to accept things. 7 months later, I thought things were okay. I thought I am okay. Until we had this closure, 3 days ago.
Kawawa ba ako na matatawag sa nangyari? At first, that was my thinking. “Ang daya kasi okay na siya. Ang daya kasi masaya siya.” But after talking to him, I realized I’m the one who made myself “kawawa”.
And yes, it took us 7 months later to have the closure I wish we had on the first weeks we separated. I thought its too late but its not. Things went well that day that we have cleared everything. Finally, the questions that has been haunting me for months has been answered. And seeing him face-to-face, and through his eyes I know he is happy. And that made me happy too.
And finally, I can say I’M TOTALLY OKAY! And soon after, I know I can love again. But for now, I wanna embrace every step of the process. To take no shortcuts to get through. And be happy again. 😊
