The Mind Is A Fire To Be Kindled

Emmeline Vance, Ravenclaw, 7th year. Wit is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor, if he knows not how to use it discretely.

[gildaradner]

[lolamxrcado]

'Tutor' does not actually mean I'm going to do the homework for you. Honestly.

[lolamxrcado]

Boring and terrifying? Well that… I can’t say I’ve ever personally been bored in your presence but am now ever so slightly terrified of the possibility of your terrifyingness and— Yes, you’re right. Getting off topic.

That’s true and that someone may as well be me. All part of my being a better man life program. I— Okay, so the program gets a little tricky to follow when you’re working on an an empty stomach. Perhaps I’ll compromise and donate them to a hungrier person. Then it’ll be a win-win. Trail mix? That sounds fascinating. Especially the chocolate part. Those things are all mixed together? And I expect the bag is pocket sized? That could very well work, thank you Emmeline. Ah, that’s good for you, I assume you were missing the cat. Your cat. Uh, whatever he or she’s name is. Yes? I— Oh, well actually yes. After a whole intense block of potting and re-potting and studying with Tilden way back when in the greenhouses I did manage to get a general grasp on it all. Why? Do- Do you need help?

[emmeline--v-blog]

Well, apparently boring and terrifying to different people, I suppose. Apparently some people don't like hearing about my different theories on the advantages and disadvantages of using a maxima version of a spell. And apparently, knowing how bodies decompose is a mite bit scary. Who knew? 

Frank, why exactly do you think you need to be a better man? You're a decent bloke already. Always a good idea. You should probably eat something soon, though, if you're not thinking clearly. Mhmm, I found it in a muggle shop once when I was trying to figure out the most energy efficient snack. You're very welcome. My cat is called Puck, he's a boy. And from what Addy told me, he spent most of his stay in Hufflepuff house meowing like a demon and tipping over water glasses.

Not exactly help, I mean... Well, sort of help. I, erm... Look, I barely made it into the NEWT level class and if it wasn't a required subject for so many jobs I would have dropped it after the OWLs but it is and I didn't and now I'm stuck in this blasted class and Professor Sprout told me last year if I didn't do better I wouldn't even get an A for my NEWT and I just don't get it and you'd think I would because I'm good at every single other class so I shouldn't be almost failing but I am and oh Rowena I think I'm having a anxiety rambling attack I'm so sorry. 

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

It’s just originality, and it’s usually a good thing — not wrong — but apparently not a whole lot of people or door knockers know how to take it. Their loss. 

Hey, Em? Breathe. Seriously, no offense taken. Like, at all. And I’m triple sorry for actually saying the words ‘coitus closet’, but you really should’ve seen your face. It was charmed-portrait worthy. If it helps, it’s not like I’m a deviant about it. You’re actually the first person I took there this year and, okay, now I’m going to stop talking because I’m probably making this worse. I’m going to bed. If Rita’s still up, I’ll just recite some statistics so she’ll be too tired to ask questions, you can have my plate of bacon tomorrow, and if you’re still skeeved I am pretty good at the Obliviation spell. 

… Also, just one last thing, I suggest a cold shower. Good night!

[emmeline--v-blog]

I suppose.

I am breathing. Oh, hurrah, I make ridiculous faces when my friend lets me in on her sex life.... Yeah, please. Please stop. Hopefully she'll be asleep... I might stay down here for a while, I still have work to get done and the others get moody if I turn on my light in the middle of the night. I'm off pork again, actually, so... It's fine. Really. I'll let you know in the morning if I'm desperate to have my mind wiped.

Why would I want a cold shower, hot water sanitizes... Oh. Oh my Godric, no, I am not -- Ugh! Good night! 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Graphic by the amazing Katherine. 

Em only responds to her full name, "Em", or "Emmy". She'd really prefer "Em", though. And she absolutely hates pet names like "love". 

Em was not very pretty when she was younger. She thought her nose was too big, she was awkwardly skinny, and her hair was always a nightmare. Luckily for her, she grew into her looks by the summer before her sixth year, and her sisters taught her some tricks for hair and makeup. She still thinks she's quite average in looks and only bothers with it all because it's the easiest way to make people like her. 

Em's favorite color is purple, but she stubbornly insists she doesn't have one. It comes from having five siblings and the eternal struggle to stand out among them. The twins already claimed purple as their favorite and Em would rather say gray is her favorite than admit she shares anything with them.

Em had a vegetarian phase from the age of eight until fifteen. Another effort to stand out from her siblings. She's dropped the full-on vegetarian thing, but she still usually won't eat pork or beef. She cheats sometimes, though. 

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m pretty sure that charmed eagle knocker just rolled its eyes. Congratulations. Considering the fact that it’s fueled by Rowena’s own magic, you may be one of the only wizards to be practically called a smart aleck by her. 

Ohhh, I never really appreciate just how calm our common room is. Thanks for taking care of me, Em. And sorry for the trouble that caused. … Double sorry for dragging you through my coitus closet, but we did only hold hands so that technically makes you the most dignified person to probably ever be in there! Yay for you. Merlin, I might actually get more than four hours tonight — I’m beat. 

[emmeline--v-blog]

And sad to say, that's not the first time I've been told to shut up by it. I ramble to a bloody door knocker. Something is definitely wrong with me.

It's no trouble, Doe, you'd do the same for me. Um. Yay? No offense, Doe, but I think I need to take a very hot shower and pretend I never found that out. Not... Not that there's anything wrong with that! It-It's fine, I just, um, would rather not remember that as your, erm, 'coitus closet'. You-you just, you do what you do, I'll just, er, pretend I know nothing. But I'm not judging you! It's fine, I just.... I'll stop talking now.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

I don’t know, memorizing their routes just seemed like it’d be useful. Which, as recent events have demonstrated, is entirely true. And it is very likely that the broom closets haven’t been cleaned or aired out since Rowena Ravenclaw herself walked around the castle. I’d really rather not be around centuries worth of bacteria, so.

… Also, you know, sometimes I’m trying to find someplace private for certain activities and I don’t want to bring people to the dorm because that’s just rude and what if they touch one of our notebooks, so closets are the next best thing.

You should probably be the one to answer the riddle. The Calming Draught’s making me a bit sluggish right now. 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Well, technically yes, but... Okay, but even so, that's Filch's job, so.... What? Oh. Ohhhh. Right. That's.... yeah. Good. Courteous. Good. 

Right. Um. Where do conjured items come from.... Well, the commonly held belief is that they are conjured from nothing, but rather, it's exceedingly likely they are transfigured from air. Air is not nothing, so when you conjure an object you are in essence transfiguring those atoms and molecules air is made from into the conjured object. I'd like to try conjuring something in a vacuum but I haven't quite figured out how, though, but wouldn't that answer the question about whether one is truly transfiguring air? Because there's no air in a vacuum so--

Thank you, that's quite enough.

Sorry. C'mon, Doe. 

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Aw, you mean the one with the cowlick that always looks like he’s trying to muster up the courage to give you his cookies during lunch? I always did wonder what that was all about. Mmm, is that so? Make sure to remember that then, when I’m forcibly dragging you out of the dorm just to get at least a bit of non-stuffy, chemical-less air. 

I suppose I am, and look how handy such knowledge is coming to now! Good, just making sure. Better safe than sorry, especially because I did scrub this place down well enough that maybe even his stink can’t touch it… Okay, we’re almost there. Hang on for a second, let me make sure nobody’s in the corridor. This is Rodolphus’ route, but he shouldn’t be passing through for another fifteen minutes, and… perfect! Coast is clear. Told you this wasn’t that bad of an idea.

[emmeline--v-blog]

Yeah, that one. The OWLs got to my head, I just snapped. Maybe the NEWTs will go better. And I will attempt to keep that in mind, even as I'm clawing to get back to my work. 

Uh huh, still curious. You scrubbed it down? Erm... Okay, I'm not going to argue about whether it was a bad idea or not, but you have the prefect's routes memorized? I'm just a bit, er... confused, by all this... stuff. That you know. Why do you know all the broom closets and the prefects routes and why on earth did you scrub down that broom closet?

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

I think they learned their lessons after fifth year, during OWLs and when they so obviously didn’t coordinate. Confession time: I wasn’t actually going to the library during those nights I snuck out of the tower. I went down to Greenhouse Two and screamed with the mandrake roots. But, yes, please and thank you. And I’ll start stocking up on super cozy blankets and cupcakes. 

… Yeah, okay, good point. I take back my previous statement and hope that your record stays spotless forever. And it’s okay, thankfully the furry demon hasn’t learned to open doors yet. Hmm, if you think this closet’s bad, you should see the one in the fifth floor’s West corridor. Here — I got it. It gets less dark the farther we go in. Is this your hand? I really, really hope this is your hand, and that Filch hasn’t somehow managed to squeeze in here with us. 

[emmeline--v-blog]

I thought our dorm was going to self-destruct through the sheer force of our freaking out. That's actually a really productive way to deal with stress. Or at least harmless, because I flipped out on that poor little second year who asked to borrow one of my books.... He still runs away whenever I see him in the corridor and I apologized about fifteen times. You are, honestly, the best friend when it comes to studying madness.

I'll do my best. But she'll get Filch, so we have to go now. You're quite intimately familiar with the castle's broom closets, aren't you? Yeah, that's my hand. We'd know if Filch was here, his smell would cut right through the antiseptic. 

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Oh, that’s perfect! I mean, not that you having a meltdown is perfect, but my runic tablet revealed a lot of irrational numbers for me near December. Which, sure enough, coincides with the bulk of my side projects and particularly hectic study schedule. So by the time your brain tries to concave in itself, mine’ll probably already be recovering and I’ll make sure to brew you some tea every night. 

I still have no idea how your record’s so pristine. Or how you can stand having it so pristine. Ha, ummm… yeah. Trust me, you don’t want to know. … I think we’re good. Come on, let’s go before Mrs. Norris pops out from the shadows that she’s most likely lurking behind. Also, fair warning: it’s kind of cramped and smells like antiseptic. But the switch for the passage is in the far left corner and— Shoot, hurry, I think I hear her coming.  

[emmeline--v-blog]

I'm so glad our respective meltdowns have managed to coordinate themselves... It's almost thoughtful of our brains. I think that means I'm on tea and coffee and make-sure-Doe-actually-sits-down-to-eat duty during December, right?

I figured my parents deserved one kid who stayed out of trouble. Even Jon got detention a few times... And I like it pristine. I'm saving up all my potential detentions for when Bellatrix inevitably tries to hex me and I have to put her in the hospital wing. Okay, that's not suspicious at all. But yeah, go. She's never far behind-- Merlin's teeth! Sorry, I know, shh... I think I saw her when I closed the closet door. We should go. Far left....? I can't see, I hate broom closets. 

[lolamxrcado]

'Tutor' does not actually mean I'm going to do the homework for you. Honestly.

[lolamxrcado]

O-Oh no, no don’t worry about it. The rambling. I myself am an avid rambler sometimes. All the time. It’s a problem really. Not saying that it’s a problem on you but— Hello, Emmeline.

Yes, besides that I am fairing pretty well. Transfiguration is giving some a bit of an intense headache but we all know that our lady McGonagall is tough but fair. You might have a point though, about the sugar treats. I mean while conscious I surely do have an obligation to take the moral high ground. I have to set an example. Can’t fall at the first hurdle and show signs of uh, weakness? I should maybe start carrying snacks around in my pockets though. That could be a compromise of sorts. … But what sort of snacks can you realistically keep in a pocket? Oh! And you. How are you doing?

[emmeline--v-blog]

Oh, it is a problem on me. Mainly because my rambling manages to be boring and terrifying at the same time, but that's beside the point.

Yeah, the moral high ground is a tough road to take, but someone has to. Or you could take the treats and say Peeves did it... Hmm. Muggles have this thing called trail mix? It's got nuts and dried fruit and sometimes chocolate. It's supposed to be quite good for energy, you could keep a little bag of it in your pocket. I'm doing well, classes are lovely and I finally talked my little sister into returning my cat, so things are good. Oh, actually, I did want to ask you. Do you tutor for Herbology? 

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

And, if anything else, there’s almost no doubt that McGonagall’s NEWT exam is specifically aimed to at least turn our hair grey. At this rate, we’re definitely going to be the belles of the retirement home.

Mmm, you’re not uptight, Em. You’ve just got a short fuse. Get it, because— Oh. … Ohhh, this isn’t good… I heard they’re really cracking down on curfew-breakers this year, and that Filch is seriously considering using his ‘disciplinary chambers’ again. My thumbs are far too delicate for me to be hung from them. 

… You know, not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything, but the broom closet just next to the classroom is soundproof and has a secret passage that leads right to the staircases. 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Don't remind me. I swear, I'm going to have a meltdown come spring. Well, at least we'll be pretty old wrinkly ladies. That's so comforting.

Ha ha. It's absolutely minuscule. What? Oh, no, I am not getting detention. I have a nearly spotless record and.... Honestly, why haven't the parents complained about Filch yet? Okay, okay, there, yes, good. Soundproof and with a secret passage is excellent. I won't ask yet why you know that. I'll just peek out and... Shit. It is Filch. Hang on, he's turning to walk back down the corridor. Just a minute...

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Then in that case here’s hoping that we each accumulate a billion wrinkles. Well, either because they’re pondering over intricate and complex theorems or because they’re trying to figure out how to spell ‘orange’, at least it still signifies that one’s a thinker. Perhaps it’s the fact that you’ve got one at all that counts, rather than the thought. 

… Grmph… don’t need a babysitter… least not one that has to go on her tiptoes to reach the dittany on the second to lowest shelf… Oh, sod off with ‘correctness’. Look, see, it even got the cauldron hot enough to cut the brewing time in half. Or something like that. I think it’s done now — bottom’s up. 

Wow, that was stronger than I thought it’d be. Huh, that’s a really good recip— … Oh, Godric. Oh Godric, I am so sorry, Em. Um… I’ve got a feeling that Slughorn’s the type to fall asleep on his paperwork and probably can’t hear anything through his snores, but we should probably clear off anyways. 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Oh, we're bound to. Rowena knows you smile enough and I furrow my brow far too much for either of us to escape with smooth skin. Perhaps you're right, at least they are thinking. It's the ones who don't that you have to watch out for.

Oooh, don't you start with the short comments. You've only got maybe two inches on me, you have absolutely no room to talk. Hmph, well, fine. Your funeral if it didn't brew correctly.

Well, at least it worked.... It's fine, Doe, I could, erm, have been a bit less.... uptight. I'm glad you're back to yourself now, though. You're right, he probably is.... Wait. Shh. Shut up, shut up, shut up and get down. I heard something in the corridor....

[lolamxrcado]

'Tutor' does not actually mean I'm going to do the homework for you. Honestly.

Hooligans. I will not be bought with sugary treats! If there is one thing left that is sacred, one thing untouched by modern day corruption it should be the tutoring system. Therefore logically and as a lesson to whoever left them, I am going to take these baked goods away with me. So I can continue to fight the good fight. And… Not pass out from low blood sugar levels. There. That makes good sense. I think.

[emmeline--v-blog]

They're bribing you already? Merlin, the teachers really aren't wasting time this year. I think it does make some sense.... Although, it would really show them that you're above it all if you left the sweets, because they might think that by accepting the bribe you're giving in to doing their work for them, but then you might pass out and we really don't need an unconscious tutor. 

Sorry. Rambling. Hello Frank. Aside from the attempted bribery, how goes the battle of tutoring?

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

The ridiculous thing is that I love wrinkles! It’s a mark of someone striving for perfection. Sure, Marshall Higglesby from Arithmancy is probably pushing it a little bit, but who knows how many hieroglyphs he’s managed to crack behind that ridiculously rumpled brow of his? 

It’s not babysitting, I’ve never needed a babysitter — I’ve always been perfectly fine on my own, thank you very much! … Hmph. Well, it still caught on fire, didn’t it? … Do you think Slughorn heard that? 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Wrinkles are a sign of a well-lived life, according to my mum. I don't think you can do Arithmancy without coming out with a few wrinkles, I think I'm even getting a few... You know, I've always thought that permanently furrowed brows are a sign of a great thinker. Or someone terribly thick, actually, so maybe discount that first statement.

Well, you certainly need a babysitter now. You've never been this irrational before. But -- erm -- Yes? It did technically catch on fire but that does not mean it was the correct course of action! What -- Oh, Merlin, I hope not, but you did just explode a bloody cauldron in a classroom that is supposed to be empty, so he'd have to be deaf not to hear that from his office. If he is in his office. I hope he's not in his office....

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Excellent. Because cloudy thoughts lead to frowns, which lead to wrinkles, which I’m sure the Beautification Committee will slowly try to persecute sooner or later. Right, but that stays between you and me. Seriously. The last thing Bertram needs is to feel even the slightest hint of appreciation. 

I still maintain that she severely overreacted. It’s not like it smelled any worse than her Quidditch gear. Maybe we could ask Hagrid! Aww but, Emmmmeline… Can I at least light up the cauldron? I’m going to light up the cauldron. Bombarda.

[emmeline--v-blog]

Merlin forbid anyone be less than perfect around here. I think Narcissa is fighting a losing cause, but there's no telling her that. I promise, not a word to Bertram, not that I speak to him much anyway. But your secret is safe with me.

I think she was more worried it might escape and ruin her meticulous organization.... Yeah, Hagrid would probably have something. You can never tell what he's got hiding around his hut-- Bloody hell! Dorcas! You.... You blew up the cauldron! An explosion spell, honestly... You didn't think of flipping incendio? Here. Aguamenti.... Reparo. I should not have to babysit you, for Merlin's sake! Incendio. 

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

Ugh, well that happened exactly as expected.

[coffeecharmsandcroaks]

No, not really, but whatever helps distract from the dark clouds. Hmph, that’s true. And at least his constant abuse has given me the perfect opportunities to refine my protective charms and knockback jinxes. 

Maybe we can leave some rotten cabbages near the trail next Hogsmeade trip! We won’t go near it, just levitate it as close as we can get. It can be a peace offering. Mmm, nope. See, and you thought this was a bad idea. I’m sure a simple Calming Draught will do the trick. … But, hey, here’s a fun idea — what if we made a couple batches of Fungiface Potion and threw them over the balconies instead? 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Hey, I tried. But the dark cloudy thoughts are gone now, all destroyed with the lighting. So it works. See, a bright lining to everything! And you're excellent at those now, so you have to appreciate the opportunity to practice.

Where, exactly, are we going to get moldy cabbages? Because you know the house elves don't keep bad food and we are not cultivating mold in our dorm room again. I thought Malfalda was going to pop a vein last time. Well, I still think it's a bad idea.... No, Doe. Besides, fungiface smells terrible when it's being brewed. You just.... sit here. I'll get the ingredients because we are making a calming draught, not bloody fungiface potion. 

[emmeline--v-blog]

Oh Adelaide || Self Para

Using her sister’s full name was playing dirty, but Em was sick and tired of this game. She put up with an awful lot from her sister, she spent most of her summers entertaining the younger Vances and to have her baby sister just go and take something of hers was beyond frustrating.

Adelaide spun, cheeks flushed as she caught sight of her older sister. “Emmy!” Her friend, who was trying to head to the Great Hall, tugged on her arm. “My sister,” Addy muttered, jerking her head toward Emmeline, who was waiting patiently. The friend nodded and released Addy’s arm before continuing down the corridor. Em grinned, stepping up to Addy and hugging her briefly.

“Hey, imp. How’re you liking Hogwarts?” She released the younger girl, holding her at arm’s length to survey her.

“I like it, yeah. My friends are really nice, and I like yellow.” Addy beamed up at Em, holding out her robes to show off the yellow lining of her house.

“That’s good.” The corridor was slowly emptying, so Em slung an arm around Addy’s shoulders to walk her down towards the Great Hall. “Now, I have another question for you.”

“Uh huh?”

“Where, exactly, is my cat?” Em tugged gently on one of Addy’s braids with her free hand, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Puck?” Addy looked up at Em, brows furrowing.

“Yes, Puck. I’m well aware that you catnapped him, I want him back.” It had been over a month, Em was more than ready to get her cat back.

“Oh,” Addy frowned, dropping her gaze. “I really like him,” she mumbled, fidgeting with her sleeve edge. “He’s fluffy.”

“I know. But Addy, he’s my cat. I’ve had him for seven years.” Em tightened her arm around Addy’s shoulders, hugging her closer briefly.

“But why can’t I get a cat? Or a pet?”

“Did you ask Mum and Dad?” Em’s brow furrowed as she looked down at Addy.

“No…. They’ve both been really busy with Rosie’s engagement parties, and the wedding plans….” Addy shrugged helplessly, still looking at her feet.

“C’mere.” Em steered Addy over to an alcove in the corridor, sitting them both down on the bench. She released Addy’s shoulder to hold both her hands, studying her little sister. “Do you miss them, Addy?”

Addy nodded slowly, peering up at Em through her fringe.

“Have you written them?”

A shake of her head. “I don’t have an owl…”

“Well, good thing that the school has owls you can borrow, then,” Em replied brightly. She wasn’t used to seeing her baby sister so quiet and morose. Addy had always been complete sunshine and energy at home, Em had never thought she might actually get homesick. “Have you seen Brad around?”

“No, he’s always busy with his Slytherin friends… And they’re kinda scary…”

“Addy, sweetheart, Slytherins are nothing to be afraid of. I promise. Look, Brad and I, we’re here for you. You just have to come find us if you’re ever feeling homesick, or need a hug, or whatever. Okay?” Em stroked the back of Addy’s hand with her thumb. She just needed Addy to feel better.

“Okay… But you’re hard to find. You’re always doing homework somewhere.”

“Well, first you check the Library, then you check whatever classroom the Science Team is meeting in, then you check Ravenclaw Tower. And you know what?”

“What?” Addy raised an eyebrow, in perfect mimicry of her older sister’s favorite expression.

“Ravenclaw doesn’t have a password, you just have to answer a riddle. And you’re more than clever enough to answer it.” Em tapped Addy’s nose, making the younger girl stick out her tongue.

“No, I’m not. You’re the smart one, I’m just in Hufflepuff.”

“Just in Hufflepuff? Don’t say such a thing, being in Hufflepuff doesn’t mean you’re not smart. Tilden Toots is the most brilliant person at Herbology, and he’s a Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff just means you believe in hard work and loyalty and being a kind person. Which you are, along with being clever.”

Addy giggled. “Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered, smiling genuinely.

“Of course. I’m good with secrets.” Em tugged lightly on Addy’s braid, glad for the happy turn the conversation had taken.

“You’re my favorite big sister. But you can’t tell Lilliana or Rosalind!”

Em grinned. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Now, you should scoot. You don’t want to miss dinner with your friends, do you?”

“Nuh uh.” Addy bounced up, pulling her hands free from Em’s. “I’ll send Puck back to your dorm, I think he’s missing you. I’m sorry I kidnapped him.” She had the grace to look momentarily ashamed.

Em stood as well. “It’s okay, imp. I’m glad you’re willing to give him back.”

Addy hesitated a moment, then embraced Em in a nearly bonecrushing hug before bounding off down the hallway. “Maybe I’ll go to a Science Team meeting with you!” she called brightly.

“And maybe I’ll get you a kitten on the next Hogsmeade trip,” Em called in return, and was rewarded with an earsplitting shriek of happiness.