i'm everything, everything is me

[belkismaddox]

@emmelinehq austins backyard

Ever since moving back home to Hidehill and buying this property a few years ago, the backyard was his favorite place to be. He could see his small dock and boat bobbing in the water from where he sat on his back porch as he watched Duke chase his own tail around the grass, it felt like it was his own slice of peace here, like nothing could get to him when he was sitting out there. "I used to love this town." He states, his voice soft as he glances over at the company sitting in the patio chair beside his. "I was so happy when I bought this house two years ago, so excited to come back to my hometown.. Shit kind of breaks my heart to think about now."

[emmelinehq]

it was peaceful being at austin's, more calming than her own place but mia was making it easier for her. so much had happened, it was difficult to think back when it was only one person, when it was miyeon but now things would never recover. it was a slaughter town. "i can't even imagine." emmeline sighed - this wasn't her home, it had just been a wrong decision and now she wasn't able to sell up. "would you ever leave it? leave here?" as soon as she was able to sell her house, the woman wouldn't look back. it wasn't good for her, it wasn't good for anyone but especially not when she was trying to get her act together.

[jovilevine]

@emmelinehq / text to 📲 emmeline astor-roberts

jovi: hey.. i've been rather in my own head lately, but i just wanted to check up on you and the little lady. jovi: how are you?

[emmelinehq]

emmeline: hi. mia's amazing. she's doing well, a little small but i really think she was the brunt of the litter. she's my own personal alarm clock and she's good at sensing things. emmeline: it's understandable. emmeline: i'm sorry for not messaging you. things are just a lot and i'm barely processing things from earlier in the year. emmeline: i'm sorry.

[ghxstxstxries]

Dutch— the impatient, uncaring type— rolled his eyes as the other ultimately withdrew their item, vacating the seat. "Thanks," he responded dryly, quietly, mostly a word that simply feel from his lips without meaning. His elbows came to rest upon the counter, his fingers immediately held up, trying to garner the bartender's attention. A double was needed.

But the bartender had a huddle to attend to and thus he had to wait, causing Dutch to exhale. "Just my fucking luck." His elbow slid an inch further, body naturally trying to earn that extra bit. Shifting his head, the gruff man looked towards Emmeline, asking, "Is this how it's been? Or I just got shit luck?"

[emmelinehq]

it was like the other sitting down caused a negative energy shift and she could feel it. everyone in town was struggling, she was sensitive and she was having a hard time as to why the other had such an attitude. emmeline's brow furrowed as the other seemed to be overreacting to the fact he hadn't been served as soon as he got there. "i don't see what luck has to do with it. if you wait a couple of minutes, they'll bring it to you." she shifted in her seat as her eyes trailed away from him as she finished speaking.

[jonxmorgan]

Nate 📲 Emmeline

Nate: Ma's birthday is coming up soon Nate: any chance you wanna help me with picking out a gift?

[emmelinehq]

Emmeline: Hi, yes, of course. Emmeline: Sorry that I skipped dinner, wasn't feeling the best.

[zehraxaksoy]

Zehra's eyes drifting over to Emmeline for a short moment at the mention of Austin before turning away quickly. The mention of his name still aching at her heart, somebody she had lost in a different way and so desperately wanted back but couldn't look past her own fears to let it happen. "Yeah, Austin is great. He takes care of me, he took care of the girls too.. he's my manger, was the manager for the band too and I don't think people understand how close you get to your colleagues.. this is effecting him a lot too." She sighed. "You showed up and that#s what matters."

[emmelinehq]

"shit." the woman reacted externally to the realisation that she'd not even stopped to think about that. the woman really appreciated austin but was having difficulty processing her personal matters, yet alone other people's - she was trying to work on it. emmeline frowned before shaking her head, clearly not about to explain her outburst. "i'm really sorry it took so long for me to say anything." that was genuine. there had been times when zehra had kept emmeline's head above water so she hadn't spiralled like previously, when she felt rejected by others and she hadn't helped in the same way. "if there's anything i can do, let me know, okay?"

[ghxstxstxries]

location: parkers bar and grill closed: @emmelinehq

Dutch surveyed the bar as he entered, more heads than he'd have guessed. In the days that followed the masquerade, guess everyone had the same itch for a drink that he did— that or they'd already blinked and moved on. Thoughts and prayers. Now back to our regular scheduled programing. Dutch could feel his features harden, growing closer to a scowl.

Yea, he'd have to make that first one a double.

Getting closer to the bar, he approached an empty seat, at least what had looked like one until he'd seen the bag. "You using this?" he asked, flicking his sights sideways at the dark-haired woman occupying the next stool over.

[emmelinehq]

the grill was somewhere in town that emmeline felt as safe as she possibly could, mainly because of austin. he'd been so kind to her previously and it felt more like home than her own house, minus her little cat that had finally come around and wanted to be near her constantly. there was always so much death, so much so that it had become a regular occurrence. it was so hard to get out of a town when no one wanted to live there - the woman felt like there was nothing here for her anymore but she couldn't sell.

staring into space, the woman jumped slightly at the unexpected voice. her eyes looked towards the stool with her bag on, expression blank before she processed what he was asking. "oh!" she shook her head before removing it and placing the item on her lap, a safer place for it. "sorry."

[zehraxaksoy]

"Emmeline please don't apologise" Zehra sighed, a small smile on her lips before looking over at the woman. "I'm not doing great but are we really surprised? I've lost two people that I love. It'll take time but you know that better than anybody." She nodded her head, the two of them had lost people close to them and they were people they both adored. "Finley is taking care of me, he's working extra to keep an eye on me and Whitney and Austin are doing a lot for me too."

[emmelinehq]

all she could do was nod as emmeline received her response. so many people had died, she'd not truly made peace with miyeon's passing but she was doing her best. the greatest joss was perhaps her friendship with someone still living that she just couldn't get back. it was just something else she'd ruined. "yeah. i'm glad you've got people. austin's wonderful, came with him tonight but think i'm going to head off soon." none of this felt right.

[misguidedsilhouettes]

closed: @emmelinehq location: blooming trails

“Hey, are you okay?” Aylin asked softly, taking a moment before noticing how loaded that question could be. “I mean, Can I help you with anything?” She continued as she followed the other woman’s gaze among all of the flower displays.

[emmelinehq]

emmeline thought that that particular question would have been banned from ever leaving anyone's lips in hidehill but it was difficult to avoid saying it. she was about to make a sarcastic comment until aylin covered herself. "uh, yeah. just looking for a way to decorate my house because i kind of neglected the ones i've got last week and they're already..." dead.

[belkismaddox]

It was nice to be there with a friend, someone that didn't have many expectations of him. He felt like it could actually breathe standing there in the ballroom of Conrad. "You look stunning, Em. I'm glad that you let me bring you." He let out a sigh of relief, feeling his shoulders relax slightly. "Just a nice night with some friends. A much-needed break after everything that's happened." He turned to look at her. "Can I get you something to drink?"

[emmelinehq]

being here with him now and her feeling okay was enough for her to appreciate that she'd ignored the urge to cancel on him. emmeline knew it was awful to even think about doing it but she hadn't; she didn't want to hurt him, he was hurting without her adding to the mix. "oh, no." she chuckled and lifted up the glass she'd barely drunk from since they'd arrived. "i don't think i'm really feeling the booze tonight. madness, i know." she'd chuckle again as if she were laughing at herself. emmeline did have a reputation for wrecking herself at these events but she just didn't feel up to it and if that made her a killjoy, so be it. "i'm really glad you brought me along for the ride though. if you're wanting to get a drink, i can stand with you? hell, i'll even pay for it, put genevieve's money to good use." her mother was generously keeping her comfortable but it meant that she didn't bother the woman - it was a pay-off, emmeline knew that much.

[maximoaguilar]

𝐌𝐀𝐗 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 to enjoy the event as much as he could, but his chances at success were seeming to dwindle by the moment. tone-deaf conversations leaving him simply aghast as he tried to find a familiar face. was this event really for tiffany, or were the conrads just attempting to find another way to showboat ? the guard wouldn't put it past either of them. even still, he knew it was better to find a friend than wallow. the last person he had expected to see was emmeline, and not for a good reason. in all honesty, he had let everything go a long time ago, but their discussion at the birthday party had been the final straw. her lack of taking culpability, trying to make him out to be the villain when in reality neither of them were and he simply needed a friend, that was when he knew. but even now, he looked at her with kindness. ❝ she's absolutely beautiful.. trying to take in every moment i can. ❞ he pauses, taking a sip of his drink. ❝ it's been a while.. enjoying the party ? ❞

[emmelinehq]

for once, emmeline had not had the intention of bumping into him, of having any type of conversation with him - him ignoring her email was enough for her to stop wanting contact with him, though if he wanted to take her back, she'd never object. still, the womann knew that the chance of that even happening was very slim. worry had set in that shed also ruin her friendship with austin but she'd do her damn best not to. for someone who feared being alone, she'd destroyed a lot of relationships unintentionally. "yeah, i mean, as well as anyone could given the circumstances." someone had already reminded her of the incident with tiffany and it had make her retreat from it. she wouldn't even start thinking about how sasha was gone and she'd never have a chance to tell her she was sorry or how much she had appreciated her. "i'm tired so won't be staying long." she was even having difficulty drinking the alcoholic beverage in her hand, a drastic difference than previous times. "how-" emmeline's words got caught in her throat. "how're you doing?" she had loved max and now, she was trying to get rid of that love for him that lingered; it looked like it would take her a lot more time and that alone frustrated her. she felt like he hadn't cared about her, so why couldn't she let go?

[emmelinehq]

"zehra." emmeline started, knowing full well that sympathies did nothing but she couldn't help it - sasha was gone. the woman had driven the late member away before all of this and she'd never be able to repair it. "sorry that i've been rather silent." the woman outstretched her arms with the intention to take the other's hands but quickly retreated. "are you okay? that's probably the wrong word but are you... are you as safe as you can be?" @zehraxaksoy

[gcldenhecrts]

‘‘ Jesus fucking Christ, it’s like a fucking jump scare ’’ Danny mumbles, pulling the cigarettes from his pocket, already knowing he’ll need one in the next few minutes. ‘‘ Bloody fantastic, thanks for asking. ’’ he’s not quite sure what to say or how to act when people ask him that. Not anymore, at least. ‘‘ surprised your here, y’know, after Tiffany showed everyone your tits. You, uh, you alright? ’’

[emmelinehq]

the meaning in danny's words had escaped emmeline - how was she meant to interpret that? "people always say that to me at these things, even now." it only seemed to get worse when that incident was brought up, something that didn't seem big in the grand scheme of things but it was still embarrassing and hurtful, something that bohdi had tried to help her with and now everyone involved apart from her was dead... "yeah, she did." emmeline shrugged. "others didn't have to be so cruel about it." her voice was soft, her exhaustion keeping everything from intensifying. "i just can't believe sasha's gone. we used to be somewhat close." she'd been there after she'd been stabbed and it just went downhill from there. "yeah, fine."

[marleequinnrp]

@emmelinehq

Marlee was fairly certain that everyone at this masquerade had gone through the same back and forth as she had about whether to attend or not. Clamoring in the back of her head was this heavy whispering voice telling her it was fucked up to have a party right now. But the other side of her argued that people needed to breathe, they needed to let go of reality for just a night to save their own damn sanity. And so she tried to focus on that thought as she eyed the bar, which was...honestly the busiest she'd ever seen at a party. She'd been waiting to order a drink for a good ten minutes, and when someone new approached the bar to her left, Marlee leaned in a little. "I think...they may have seriously underestimated this town's need for alcohol and understaffed the bar. Everybody better tip these people hella good. What are you going to get in 80 years when it's your turn?"

[emmelinehq]

emmeline was uncomfortable and she knew it when she could barely sip from her first drink. she was watching herself, trying to avoid disasters that had happened in the past, but she felt like she was having a difficult week and didn't want to ruin anything. the woman who had previously been known for airing her feelings to the entire town was now trying to keep them immensely private. there was a lot that could unease her and the masks weren't exactly helping. "oh-" she started, surprised that the other had started talking to her. "i'm actually not in the queue but i think i'll probably get some water or something." emmeline held up her barely sipped glass. "i'm just not feeling it." she felt exhausted and couldn't push herself - she was trying to not destroy herself all over again. "what about you?"

[emmelinehq]

emmeline was still on her first drink, sipping at it when her eyes caught the sight of brielle. "brielle, hi. how are you doing?" it was probably the wrong question to ask at something like this but nothing else had come to her in the moment. it felt like she'd not checked in with people in a long, long time - sasha's death still didn't feel real, then bohdi was gone too and it was too much to process. the woman had kept to herself, only going to her vounteer work, home, therapy, to the shops then back. even that was exhausting her. "you look lovely." @briellepercz

[emmelinehq]

"oh, sorry!" emmeline had already physically collided with another and she wasn't even drunk. the slight smile on her face had dropped when she'd seen who it was - "max." he had been someone she didn't want to see. after months of trying to get him to talk to her, even after she'd shut him out, she'd finally got the message and that message had hurt her. many of her relationships had broken down but she'd never expected max to be on that list. "how's the baby?" it was her attempt at being polite, cordial, as she supressed her resentment towards him. @maximoaguilar

[emmelinehq]

events like these always made her nervous, not just because of the horrors that happened at them but because she was in an environment with people that didn't like her, that she'd hurt and she wasn't able to take it back. after looking at danny, emmeline's eyes quickly averted and she shuffled on her feet. "danny..." she started, unable to walk in the opposite direction to pretend she hadn't seen him. "how're you doing?" @gcldenhecrts

[emmelinehq]

emmeline had actually been surprised when austin had asked her to come with him, not because she thought he fancied her or anything but it was a first just to be asked. "you know it's nice to see you, right." she could admit when she hadn't been the best friend to him, feeling inadequate in that she wasn't there for him, that she couldn't be there for him mentally. however, she wasn't about to come out and say it with the fear of starting something or worse, seeing him resent her for it. "you look lovely."

@austinparker